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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Recently I've been hurt by two people I thought I could trust.
Both were my friends I thought not just fb's (one M & one F).
Does trust have a place in swinger ? Or is that just a fantasy?
Any advised welcome  |
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I realise that people only post about FB relationships when they go wrong but I've seen a lot of posts like this lately. It appears on the face of it that lots of people who have this type of arrangement either have different ideas of what the relationship is or one I lying to the other. So if it was me in a FB relationship I wouldn't place trust in the other person. I don't put anything other than very limited trust in swinging either. Its transient and illusory. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I realise that people only post about FB relationships when they go wrong but I've seen a lot of posts like this lately. It appears on the face of it that lots of people who have this type of arrangement either have different ideas of what the relationship is or one I lying to the other. So if it was me in a FB relationship I wouldn't place trust in the other person. I don't put anything other than very limited trust in swinging either. Its transient and illusory."
I would agree with this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently I've been hurt by two people I thought I could trust.
Both were my friends I thought not just fb's (one M & one F).
Does trust have a place in swinger ? Or is that just a fantasy?
Any advised welcome "
Id say youve just picked the wrong people to put your trust in and thats that.
Maybe be a bit more selective on who you choose to trust.
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"Recently I've been hurt by two people I thought I could trust.
Both were my friends I thought not just fb's (one M & one F).
Does trust have a place in swinger ? Or is that just a fantasy?
Any advised welcome "
Are ethical sluts a myth? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently I've been hurt by two people I thought I could trust.
Both were my friends I thought not just fb's (one M & one F).
Does trust have a place in swinger ? Or is that just a fantasy?
Any advised welcome
Are ethical sluts a myth?"
I hope not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say most swingers here are far more ethical than the usual lot you'd see on a night out and possibly hook up with. I've never met a girl on a night out who could be honest that she just wanted to get laid even though given the way she was knocking back drinks and absolutely flirting physically the hell out of men around her that was obvious as day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently I've been hurt by two people I thought I could trust.
Both were my friends I thought not just fb's (one M & one F).
Does trust have a place in swinger ? Or is that just a fantasy?
Any advised welcome
Id say youve just picked the wrong people to put your trust in and thats that.
Maybe be a bit more selective on who you choose to trust.
"
Personally I would advise it's not you OP but people on the site and in swinging in general that can't be trusted. (My opinion based on years of being in the scene so if you don't agree fine, but it is based on my own experiences. Yours maybe different before you shoot me down).
Swinging is based on people's own wants and desires. Unfortunately this can bring out the most unpleasant selfish behaviour in people. Friendships tend to be superficial and based on what you are getting out of the situation at that moment in time, be it weeks months or years. This of course is not just restricted to one group but applies to all groups and most people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently I've been hurt by two people I thought I could trust.
Both were my friends I thought not just fb's (one M & one F).
Does trust have a place in swinger ? Or is that just a fantasy?
Any advised welcome
Id say youve just picked the wrong people to put your trust in and thats that.
Maybe be a bit more selective on who you choose to trust.
Personally I would advise it's not you OP but people on the site and in swinging in general that can't be trusted. (My opinion based on years of being in the scene so if you don't agree fine, but it is based on my own experiences. Yours maybe different before you shoot me down).
Swinging is based on people's own wants and desires. Unfortunately this can bring out the most unpleasant selfish behaviour in people. Friendships tend to be superficial and based on what you are getting out of the situation at that moment in time, be it weeks months or years. This of course is not just restricted to one group but applies to all groups and most people. "
Most people are out for their own selfish reasons in life.
Its unfortunately Human nature. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I trust my fwb...we have rules within our relationship, we talk about everything regularly, discuss how we feel and would let eachother know if we think we have met someone we might develop deeper feelings for or if ours for eachother changed and review our rules to maybe change them if needed...I trust that he will stick to these rules and he trusts me....it wouldn't work as well as it does if we didn't...plus I can tell when he has something to say..he is very easy to read |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Recently I've been hurt by two people I thought I could trust.
Both were my friends I thought not just fb's (one M & one F).
Does trust have a place in swinger ? Or is that just a fantasy?
Any advised welcome
Id say youve just picked the wrong people to put your trust in and thats that.
Maybe be a bit more selective on who you choose to trust.
Personally I would advise it's not you OP but people on the site and in swinging in general that can't be trusted. (My opinion based on years of being in the scene so if you don't agree fine, but it is based on my own experiences. Yours maybe different before you shoot me down).
Swinging is based on people's own wants and desires. Unfortunately this can bring out the most unpleasant selfish behaviour in people. Friendships tend to be superficial and based on what you are getting out of the situation at that moment in time, be it weeks months or years. This of course is not just restricted to one group but applies to all groups and most people. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trust is paramount for swinging. If the other partner goes off on their own or is msg without your knowledge spoils everything xxxx"
All relationships require trust and loyalty swinging or vanilla without trust there is nothing . For me honesty and trust are important in every friendship, any display of disloyalty would result in me walking away regardless of the nature of the relationship . |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Recently I've been hurt by two people I thought I could trust.
Both were my friends I thought not just fb's (one M & one F).
Does trust have a place in swinger ? Or is that just a fantasy?
Any advised welcome "
Most are here to fuck or be fucked rather than to build relationships.
The only trust involved is the trust the other will meet and engage in sex. |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"Trust is paramount"
" All relationships require trust and loyalty swinging or vanilla without trust there is nothing . For me honesty and trust are important in every friendship, any display of disloyalty would result in me walking away regardless of the nature of the relationship . "
If I do not trust you you will not get the best from me, I would hold back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What an interesting discussion. Many good points raised on either side of the argument.
"Recently I've been hurt by two people I thought I could trust."
Without knowing or asking for your particulars - I would like to question the notion of getting hurt.
I trust people, but I also trust people will fuck up occasionally - as we all do as fallible beings. I do not expect my friends etc to be a saint. I do expect them to care about how I feel though and to at least negotiate ways of rectifying a behaviour that bothers me. If I judge that someone's actions or intentions were malevolent or they were indifferent to my needs, I admit that I misplaced my trust.
However, the vast majority of people getting hurt is caused by a mix of miscommunication, lack of awareness, and pre-existing trauma - absolutely no malice involved.
If swingers fail more often (which I am not certain they do) it is because there are less scripts and etiquette to follow. People in conventional encounters can afford to run away with their assumptions, we can't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im s trusting soul generally but twmper that with wisdom about human nature that I have built up over years of interacting with people professionally and personally. I suppose it all depends on what levels of trust you can expect to give and receive in a place where the vast majority of the interactions are superficial, transient and generally driven by self gratification...does anyone on here owe anyone else anything other than that? probably not...is it possible to find a much deeper, more meaningful interaction with people here? Absolutely, and we have. Is that any different to life outside of this site and others like it? not in the slightest. The impression of immediate intimacy that can sometimes arrive through online and purely sexual encounters can lead people to drop their guard way too quickly and the sense of hurt when those we think we can trust because of the illusion of intimacy can be exacerbated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never make mistake of thinking your more than a sex object on here or to a fb/fwb... people are friendly because you have a use to them once that use is no longer wanted your gone! It's not true friendships/relationship until you can maintain it without sex being the goal and intention, harsh and can be hurtful if you thought you meant more but true... |
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
"Never make mistake of thinking your more than a sex object on here or to a fb/fwb... people are friendly because you have a use to them once that use is no longer wanted your gone! It's not true friendships/relationship until you can maintain it without sex being the goal and intention, harsh and can be hurtful if you thought you meant more but true..."
So cynical for one so young 
But unfortunately sprinkled with more than a little truth..
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