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If subs are in control..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My personal opinion is although a sub is in control part of the appeal is relinquishing that control to someone else hopefully the sub would pick a Dom/Domme whom they fully trust to play withing the limits discussed in a safe consensual environment.
Well thats what i think  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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i used to think that by being considerate to their needs they were in control. but this also led to crappy bdsm stuff.
i only seek guys who wanna please me and not themselves. and the pleasing of me is what makes them happy and i can ask for anything i want coz they enjoy giving me that. |
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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago
Torfaen/Gwent |
To me, when people say that subs have the control it's because they can stop it.
One word and everything ends. So they have the control over it all.
Which is totally different to topping from the bottom to me. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I doff my hat to both of you.
'Tis not a one way dynamic, well not in my world."
Definitely not a one way dynamic - I always think of Dom/me and subs as being two sides of the same coin and without one or the other you don't have a coin and can't make it balance on its edge. Ergo both are in control albeit in different ways. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?"
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
"
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant "
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though."
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces "
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo."
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo.
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun "
lol, don't think i've seen that face yet.
why do they even say they're sub though if they aren't? i'm sure there's some kind of psychology involved that i've not noticed coz i don't care too much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo.
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun
lol, don't think i've seen that face yet.
why do they even say they're sub though if they aren't? i'm sure there's some kind of psychology involved that i've not noticed coz i don't care too much."
I was in a relationship with a syb that enjoyed impact play. She would constantly play up thinking the punishment would flogging etc I turned it on its head and took it away or would still use the flogger but every so gently - if looks could kill lol
It was her way to try and manipulate me into doing what she craved - she didnt get it |
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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
I suspect the dynamic has a lot of facets
Dontbthink porn has helped, well not in my world.
The play has so much ore than simple sex, that or I'm doing wrong...
Hey what do I know, I'm mot a master, just someone who enjoyed it..... Sooooo good. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo.
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun
lol, don't think i've seen that face yet.
why do they even say they're sub though if they aren't? i'm sure there's some kind of psychology involved that i've not noticed coz i don't care too much.
I was in a relationship with a syb that enjoyed impact play. She would constantly play up thinking the punishment would flogging etc I turned it on its head and took it away or would still use the flogger but every so gently - if looks could kill lol
It was her way to try and manipulate me into doing what she craved - she didnt get it "
i like head games, some of them. but no not them ones. i'm gonna go google some stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I suspect the dynamic has a lot of facets
Dontbthink porn has helped, well not in my world.
The play has so much ore than simple sex, that or I'm doing wrong...
Hey what do I know, I'm mot a master, just someone who enjoyed it..... Sooooo good."
At the end of the day it has to be fun right 
I dont consider myself an expert its just what works for me |
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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago
Torfaen/Gwent |
"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo.
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun
lol, don't think i've seen that face yet.
why do they even say they're sub though if they aren't? i'm sure there's some kind of psychology involved that i've not noticed coz i don't care too much."
There's more than one way to be a sub. It totally depends on what you both want.
You should make your expectations completely clear before hand. Can't blame them for the way they behave if you haven't made it clear it won't be tolerated.
Being sub isn't ALL about what the Dominant wants. That's not a healthy D/s relationship at all.  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo.
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun
lol, don't think i've seen that face yet.
why do they even say they're sub though if they aren't? i'm sure there's some kind of psychology involved that i've not noticed coz i don't care too much.
There's more than one way to be a sub. It totally depends on what you both want.
You should make your expectations completely clear before hand. Can't blame them for the way they behave if you haven't made it clear it won't be tolerated.
Being sub isn't ALL about what the Dominant wants. That's not a healthy D/s relationship at all. "
no it isn't all about what i want, they should enjoy giving me what i want, and be submissive with that - not trying to dominate me into giving them what they want (which is something they believe is a submissive act - act being the main thing here as they are not submitting to me at all, just committing submissive acts, plays, nothing real when it comes to submission).
and i should enjoy giving them the opportunity to fulfil their wishes too. but i'm the one in control of it and not them.
i don't even meet them, it's easy to tell who is talking shit and being a selfish 'sub' when they talk like they are in charge of everything. |
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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago
Torfaen/Gwent |
"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo.
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun
lol, don't think i've seen that face yet.
why do they even say they're sub though if they aren't? i'm sure there's some kind of psychology involved that i've not noticed coz i don't care too much.
There's more than one way to be a sub. It totally depends on what you both want.
You should make your expectations completely clear before hand. Can't blame them for the way they behave if you haven't made it clear it won't be tolerated.
Being sub isn't ALL about what the Dominant wants. That's not a healthy D/s relationship at all.
no it isn't all about what i want, they should enjoy giving me what i want, and be submissive with that - not trying to dominate me into giving them what they want (which is something they believe is a submissive act - act being the main thing here as they are not submitting to me at all, just committing submissive acts, plays, nothing real when it comes to submission).
and i should enjoy giving them the opportunity to fulfil their wishes too. but i'm the one in control of it and not them.
i don't even meet them, it's easy to tell who is talking shit and being a selfish 'sub' when they talk like they are in charge of everything."
You sound like kind of a selfish domme if I'm honest. But each to their own. Like I said, there is more than one kind of sub. Not suiting you views on what a submissive should be doesn't mean they're "talking shit" or "selfish" |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo.
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun
lol, don't think i've seen that face yet.
why do they even say they're sub though if they aren't? i'm sure there's some kind of psychology involved that i've not noticed coz i don't care too much.
There's more than one way to be a sub. It totally depends on what you both want.
You should make your expectations completely clear before hand. Can't blame them for the way they behave if you haven't made it clear it won't be tolerated.
Being sub isn't ALL about what the Dominant wants. That's not a healthy D/s relationship at all.
no it isn't all about what i want, they should enjoy giving me what i want, and be submissive with that - not trying to dominate me into giving them what they want (which is something they believe is a submissive act - act being the main thing here as they are not submitting to me at all, just committing submissive acts, plays, nothing real when it comes to submission).
and i should enjoy giving them the opportunity to fulfil their wishes too. but i'm the one in control of it and not them.
i don't even meet them, it's easy to tell who is talking shit and being a selfish 'sub' when they talk like they are in charge of everything.
You sound like kind of a selfish domme if I'm honest. But each to their own. Like I said, there is more than one kind of sub. Not suiting you views on what a submissive should be doesn't mean they're "talking shit" or "selfish" "
they are talking shit if they think they are in control of me. they are selfish when they approach me based on their needs only and not mine.
and that's pretty much most of what is out there. role play subs. they should pay pros to satisfy them. |
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo.
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun
lol, don't think i've seen that face yet.
why do they even say they're sub though if they aren't? i'm sure there's some kind of psychology involved that i've not noticed coz i don't care too much.
There's more than one way to be a sub. It totally depends on what you both want.
You should make your expectations completely clear before hand. Can't blame them for the way they behave if you haven't made it clear it won't be tolerated.
Being sub isn't ALL about what the Dominant wants. That's not a healthy D/s relationship at all.
no it isn't all about what i want, they should enjoy giving me what i want, and be submissive with that - not trying to dominate me into giving them what they want (which is something they believe is a submissive act - act being the main thing here as they are not submitting to me at all, just committing submissive acts, plays, nothing real when it comes to submission).
and i should enjoy giving them the opportunity to fulfil their wishes too. but i'm the one in control of it and not them.
i don't even meet them, it's easy to tell who is talking shit and being a selfish 'sub' when they talk like they are in charge of everything.
You sound like kind of a selfish domme if I'm honest. But each to their own. Like I said, there is more than one kind of sub. Not suiting you views on what a submissive should be doesn't mean they're "talking shit" or "selfish"
they are talking shit if they think they are in control of me. they are selfish when they approach me based on their needs only and not mine.
and that's pretty much most of what is out there. role play subs. they should pay pros to satisfy them."
It's all roleplay. All of it. And regardless of gender, providing your partner with feedback during a scene isn't some kind of ploy or calculated insult - being able to vocalize your desires and limits and feeling able to trust your dom/me to listen is FUNDAMENTAL to safe and consensual play. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"topping from the bottom pisses me off.
Isnt topping from the bottom very different to discussing things before hand ?
they can still do it though. act like they want what you want then start demanding stuff for themselves. just not my thing at all.
But thats when you have to switched on enough not to give it to them and have enough self control in yourself as a Dom/Domme. I think self control is a very important aspect of being Dominant
i don't give it them.
anyone starts demanding of me and i automatically rebel against them for doing that and it even puts me off doing things i would enjoy doing anyway.
spoils the mood though.
I actually enjoy seeing the fustration in their faces
whose face?
my face would be like i've just stepped in poo.
In the submissive face when you get that bitchface look denial is all apart of the fun
lol, don't think i've seen that face yet.
why do they even say they're sub though if they aren't? i'm sure there's some kind of psychology involved that i've not noticed coz i don't care too much.
There's more than one way to be a sub. It totally depends on what you both want.
You should make your expectations completely clear before hand. Can't blame them for the way they behave if you haven't made it clear it won't be tolerated.
Being sub isn't ALL about what the Dominant wants. That's not a healthy D/s relationship at all.
no it isn't all about what i want, they should enjoy giving me what i want, and be submissive with that - not trying to dominate me into giving them what they want (which is something they believe is a submissive act - act being the main thing here as they are not submitting to me at all, just committing submissive acts, plays, nothing real when it comes to submission).
and i should enjoy giving them the opportunity to fulfil their wishes too. but i'm the one in control of it and not them.
i don't even meet them, it's easy to tell who is talking shit and being a selfish 'sub' when they talk like they are in charge of everything.
You sound like kind of a selfish domme if I'm honest. But each to their own. Like I said, there is more than one kind of sub. Not suiting you views on what a submissive should be doesn't mean they're "talking shit" or "selfish"
they are talking shit if they think they are in control of me. they are selfish when they approach me based on their needs only and not mine.
and that's pretty much most of what is out there. role play subs. they should pay pros to satisfy them.
It's all roleplay. All of it. And regardless of gender, providing your partner with feedback during a scene isn't some kind of ploy or calculated insult - being able to vocalize your desires and limits and feeling able to trust your dom/me to listen is FUNDAMENTAL to safe and consensual play."
no, firstly i mean they do not want to submit. they have their desires, approach ANY dominant woman out there thinking they will fulfil them for them, without even considering what that dominant even wants. i haven't had Domme or dominant on my profile within a few months of being online coz of that. these people need pros or other role players, and even then they should at least consider what the other role player wants as well. i think there is some kind of misconstrued idea that dominant women are there to play a submissive role for dominant men who want typically submissive acts without submitting. no idea where it came from but it's there and is the most common type of 'sub' going.
topping from the bottom also is not submission. anyone who says there are all kinds of ways of doing BDSM and thinks the submissive is in charge is not even doing BDSM. not saying it's wrong to do whatever you're doing but it's not dominating and submitting, it's something else entirely.
you should be compatible, you should give a shit about what each other wants, but the submissive submits to the dominant in a dom/sub relationship. that's the whole point in having one.
and the fact that you call sub/dom relationships role play means you probably aren't even talking about the same thing i am. and it's why i won't entertain NSA BDSM, you need to get to know the person over time. know if they're really comfortable with everything they say they are and not just pretending to someone.
i can see true submissives for who they are and they're respectful, genuinely adore women, aren't pushy, hope to find a woman who can fulfil their needs by us wanting them to submit to us, and most importantly listen to what a woman wants before even considering submitting to us to check we are compatible, (i am looking for men, so use those words). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
topping from the bottom also is not submission. anyone who says there are all kinds of ways of doing BDSM and thinks the submissive is in charge is not even doing BDSM. not saying it's wrong to do whatever you're doing but it's not dominating and submitting, it's something else entirely."
Having also been active on the BDSM scene for 17 years, I hold a very different opinion to you.
There are a range of ways in which BDSM dynamics occur. Yes, there are "do me" subs (and dom/mes) out there - and it does get tiring being approached by them. However, there are also those who offer some submission in some ways (which may limited to roleplay in the bedroom) to some who have 24/7 Total Power Exchange and Master/slave dynamics. Neither of these are wrong and all fit in the BDSM spectrum.
Submission does not have to be all or nothing and just because something is not your preference does not make it wrong.
Topping from the bottom is not always what it appears. What some people class as topping from the bottom, others class as communication in their dynamic.
There really is no One Twue Way and your posts do smack of One Twue Way ism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been in the bdsm scene for over 18 years I also agree with most of what Baladis has said.
Being house Dom at HDZ events and also doing various club demos a lot is setting the scene. For me the sub is in control and they have their dos and donts. I do take the sub to the limit of what they seek. The sub Is in control however when I dom that person I'm reading their body language checking their signs and making sure that they are getting what they want.
I do various demos from sensual to extreme depending on what each person seeks. Most popular is sensual bdsm with a mix of pleasure and pain. But for demos I do like a mixture to give people a range of what I do. At the end of the day everyone is different in what they seek. For example an owned sub has agreed their limits but when the scene starts the dom will run the scene and will be in control until the scene has finished. It had a lot to do with trust in that person which needs to be earned and in the scene unfortunately there are a lot of fake wannabes who think they know what they are doing and they don't.
That's why I always say to new people in the scene come to an event or make sure you ask the right questions to a potential dom. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"
topping from the bottom also is not submission. anyone who says there are all kinds of ways of doing BDSM and thinks the submissive is in charge is not even doing BDSM. not saying it's wrong to do whatever you're doing but it's not dominating and submitting, it's something else entirely.
Having also been active on the BDSM scene for 17 years, I hold a very different opinion to you.
There are a range of ways in which BDSM dynamics occur. Yes, there are "do me" subs (and dom/mes) out there - and it does get tiring being approached by them. However, there are also those who offer some submission in some ways (which may limited to roleplay in the bedroom) to some who have 24/7 Total Power Exchange and Master/slave dynamics. Neither of these are wrong and all fit in the BDSM spectrum.
Submission does not have to be all or nothing and just because something is not your preference does not make it wrong.
Topping from the bottom is not always what it appears. What some people class as topping from the bottom, others class as communication in their dynamic.
There really is no One Twue Way and your posts do smack of One Twue Way ism. "
fine, submission is domination and domination is submission.
happy now? |
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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
It was a tad tongue in cheek post, however some very thoughtful perspectives.
To me, and this is my perspective, the D/s dance comes in many forms and there is not one true way, it depends on how the individuals come together and this can be multifaceted and on a myriad of levels.
Again to me you cannot, from a Dom perspective, be shown the way, it is instinctive, it's inherently inbuilt and instinctive, (does all those "in's" mean it's in them) a reactive response from a sexual or sapiosexual interaction. I adore having this nature, nearly as much as I respect and adore the submissive nature in others.
Me, I couldn't switch for all the tea in India...
However, I take my flat cap off to those that can.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Me, I couldn't switch for all the tea in India...
However, I take my flat cap off to those that can. "
You can learn skills or techniques (physical and mental) but in the end, you either feel dominant towards a person, and they submissive toward you, or not.
As a switch, I accept your cap doffing. Lol. 
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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago
Torfaen/Gwent |
"
topping from the bottom also is not submission. anyone who says there are all kinds of ways of doing BDSM and thinks the submissive is in charge is not even doing BDSM. not saying it's wrong to do whatever you're doing but it's not dominating and submitting, it's something else entirely.
Having also been active on the BDSM scene for 17 years, I hold a very different opinion to you.
There are a range of ways in which BDSM dynamics occur. Yes, there are "do me" subs (and dom/mes) out there - and it does get tiring being approached by them. However, there are also those who offer some submission in some ways (which may limited to roleplay in the bedroom) to some who have 24/7 Total Power Exchange and Master/slave dynamics. Neither of these are wrong and all fit in the BDSM spectrum.
Submission does not have to be all or nothing and just because something is not your preference does not make it wrong.
Topping from the bottom is not always what it appears. What some people class as topping from the bottom, others class as communication in their dynamic.
There really is no One Twue Way and your posts do smack of One Twue Way ism.
fine, submission is domination and domination is submission.
happy now? "
You accuse others of not understanding BDSM, but it's clear you don't get it at all.
It's not all about what the Dominant wants or all about what the submissive wants. It's about mutual pleasure. To think otherwise is selfish and arrogant.
I think the reason you can't find what you're looking for is because you basically want a sex slave who only pleases you and bugger what they want. Which is not BDSM at all.
As someone else said, there is no "one true way" in BDSM. To act like there is just shows alot of ignorance on your part. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"
topping from the bottom also is not submission. anyone who says there are all kinds of ways of doing BDSM and thinks the submissive is in charge is not even doing BDSM. not saying it's wrong to do whatever you're doing but it's not dominating and submitting, it's something else entirely.
Having also been active on the BDSM scene for 17 years, I hold a very different opinion to you.
There are a range of ways in which BDSM dynamics occur. Yes, there are "do me" subs (and dom/mes) out there - and it does get tiring being approached by them. However, there are also those who offer some submission in some ways (which may limited to roleplay in the bedroom) to some who have 24/7 Total Power Exchange and Master/slave dynamics. Neither of these are wrong and all fit in the BDSM spectrum.
Submission does not have to be all or nothing and just because something is not your preference does not make it wrong.
Topping from the bottom is not always what it appears. What some people class as topping from the bottom, others class as communication in their dynamic.
There really is no One Twue Way and your posts do smack of One Twue Way ism.
fine, submission is domination and domination is submission.
happy now?
You accuse others of not understanding BDSM, but it's clear you don't get it at all.
It's not all about what the Dominant wants or all about what the submissive wants. It's about mutual pleasure. To think otherwise is selfish and arrogant.
I think the reason you can't find what you're looking for is because you basically want a sex slave who only pleases you and bugger what they want. Which is not BDSM at all.
As someone else said, there is no "one true way" in BDSM. To act like there is just shows alot of ignorance on your part. "
when i said BSDM i meant just the sub/dom thing. it was 4am.
i never said it's all about the dom, i said the dom is in control and not the sub.
i've never said there's no true way of doing anything, someone else accused me of that so they put words into your head. i just said that submissives can't be dominant. don't even see the problem with that sentence at all, it makes complete sense.
you can say what you want about me, i know you're not judging or being a dick coz no way of doing bdsm is wrong anyway. even if i was selfish and arrogant all i need to find is someone not selfish who likes arrogance. there's no way of doing it wrong, so long as both enjoy it.
do you see how you don't even make sense yourselves, make presumptions, and then attack people who 'supposedly' think different to you?
bored now. this is why i don't use fetlife, too many presumptuous egos who talk down to other and talk for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
topping from the bottom also is not submission. anyone who says there are all kinds of ways of doing BDSM and thinks the submissive is in charge is not even doing BDSM. not saying it's wrong to do whatever you're doing but it's not dominating and submitting, it's something else entirely.
Having also been active on the BDSM scene for 17 years, I hold a very different opinion to you.
There are a range of ways in which BDSM dynamics occur. Yes, there are "do me" subs (and dom/mes) out there - and it does get tiring being approached by them. However, there are also those who offer some submission in some ways (which may limited to roleplay in the bedroom) to some who have 24/7 Total Power Exchange and Master/slave dynamics. Neither of these are wrong and all fit in the BDSM spectrum.
Submission does not have to be all or nothing and just because something is not your preference does not make it wrong.
Topping from the bottom is not always what it appears. What some people class as topping from the bottom, others class as communication in their dynamic.
There really is no One Twue Way and your posts do smack of One Twue Way ism.
fine, submission is domination and domination is submission.
happy now?
You accuse others of not understanding BDSM, but it's clear you don't get it at all.
It's not all about what the Dominant wants or all about what the submissive wants. It's about mutual pleasure. To think otherwise is selfish and arrogant.
I think the reason you can't find what you're looking for is because you basically want a sex slave who only pleases you and bugger what they want. Which is not BDSM at all.
As someone else said, there is no "one true way" in BDSM. To act like there is just shows alot of ignorance on your part.
when i said BSDM i meant just the sub/dom thing. it was 4am.
i never said it's all about the dom, i said the dom is in control and not the sub.
i've never said there's no true way of doing anything, someone else accused me of that so they put words into your head. i just said that submissives can't be dominant. don't even see the problem with that sentence at all, it makes complete sense.
you can say what you want about me, i know you're not judging or being a dick coz no way of doing bdsm is wrong anyway. even if i was selfish and arrogant all i need to find is someone not selfish who likes arrogance. there's no way of doing it wrong, so long as both enjoy it.
do you see how you don't even make sense yourselves, make presumptions, and then attack people who 'supposedly' think different to you?
bored now. this is why i don't use fetlife, too many presumptuous egos who talk down to other and talk for them."
This gets allllll the thumbs up, Every. Fricking. One |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
when i said BSDM i meant just the sub/dom thing. it was 4am.
i never said it's all about the dom, i said the dom is in control and not the sub.
i've never said there's no true way of doing anything, someone else accused me of that so they put words into your head. i just said that submissives can't be dominant. don't even see the problem with that sentence at all, it makes complete sense.
you can say what you want about me, i know you're not judging or being a dick coz no way of doing bdsm is wrong anyway. even if i was selfish and arrogant all i need to find is someone not selfish who likes arrogance. there's no way of doing it wrong, so long as both enjoy it.
do you see how you don't even make sense yourselves, make presumptions, and then attack people who 'supposedly' think different to you?
bored now. this is why i don't use fetlife, too many presumptuous egos who talk down to other and talk for them."
I am not judging you, simply challenging your words your opinions on this topic, in this post, in a calm and reasoned way because I do disagree with you. Discussion occurs here and on every other internet site I've ever observed. That does not mean that all those challenging your opinion or offering alternative perspectives are attacking, presumptuous, egotistical or talking down. They are simply challenging your opinion calmly. Well, I am. Can't speak for everyone on this thread.
I wish you well. |
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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Why do "the dons" need to dictate?
Who said tops dictate Are you talking from experience or what you think goes on between a top and a sub . ?"
As I said earlier, it was a tongue in cheek comment. It was said in the spirit of fun. |
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