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Swinging couples, what rules do you have?

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By *eneathTheDiamondSky OP   Woman  over a year ago

East Anglia

As a couple we're just dipping our toes into swinging.

We've been reading about the different ways people approach it and the types of swinging. I'd be really interested to hear what rules you use (such as no repeat encounters, or partner is always present, or no kissing, or whatever).

Thanks in advance.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

we always meet as a couple & like to message chat just a bit to see how we all get on before deciding /// we never pre-arrange meets , like spontaneous ones & leave it to the other person to ask for a meet & if we can we will meet .

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By *ynecplCouple  over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We meet as a couple, both of us must be happy otherwise we don't play. Always same room and we ensure we both know the other's boundaries so that there are no awkward conversations in the middle of a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You need to find your own way as a couple everyone's different but our rules are simple

We play together

We don't take one for the team

All play is on an equal footing with everyone involved

If a couple has to implement a no kissing rule then maybe they are not ready to swing as a couple....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why not repeat encounters? They are great xx

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By *eneathTheDiamondSky OP   Woman  over a year ago

East Anglia

Thanks- this is really interesting. It'll give us lots to talk about.

I wasn't saying that the rules I listed were our rules, they're just rules I've heard people use.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

we don't meet alone.

We don't kiss.

We never take one for the team.

If one of us wants to stop we both stop.

Every couple have their own way of playing and nobody should tell another that they're wrong.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Thanks- this is really interesting. It'll give us lots to talk about.

I wasn't saying that the rules I listed were our rules, they're just rules I've heard people use.

"

It's best to talk about it and establish what you feel most comfortable with. You can always change your mind if you find something doesn't suit.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thanks- this is really interesting. It'll give us lots to talk about.

I wasn't saying that the rules I listed were our rules, they're just rules I've heard people use.

"

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By *auradCouple  over a year ago

glasgow

Mrs can do what she wants with who she wants, mr gets to watch or hear about it if it is a trusted partner.

Mr isn't allowed to play.

Works for us.

Mr D

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We both agree on everything that will happen or nothing happens.

No secrets.

No taking one for the team.

If playing as a couple, we all get fully involved.

Any doubt or uncomfortable situation, we leave.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Mrs can do what she wants with who she wants, mr gets to watch or hear about it if it is a trusted partner.

Mr isn't allowed to play.

Works for us.

Mr D"

as long as it works for you that's all that counts

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By *eneathTheDiamondSky OP   Woman  over a year ago

East Anglia

Thanks everyone. That's really helpful.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple  over a year ago

In your bed

No masterbating whilst driving.

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By *eneathTheDiamondSky OP   Woman  over a year ago

East Anglia


"No masterbating whilst driving. "

Top advice! Thanks

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By *ll the gear.....Couple  over a year ago

Town north of Notts

Our main rule is - Don't play with K's ass hole!

But we're same as some of the others: don't meet alone, same room fun, all get involved and we come back to each other to play together throughout, safe sex, no guarantee of play on first meet, no hickies, and a few others, lol.

Main thing is we communicate throughout, a smile, blow a kiss, pull a funny face, touch hands etc. We also talk about it afterwards.

Oh and make sure you understand their boundaries!

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple  over a year ago

London


"You need to find your own way as a couple everyone's different but our rules are simple

We play together

We don't take one for the team

All play is on an equal footing with everyone involved

If a couple has to implement a no kissing rule then maybe they are not ready to swing as a couple...."

These rules above are pretty much the same for us, although we do understand why some couples don't like to kiss even though for us, that's personally kinda a turn off.

We also only play if everyone is comfortable and everyone is involved. If we can tell the other couple isn't really into both of us, then it's not happening.

We could also add:

Safe sex always

Tend to only play with couples where the girl is bisexual.

As someone else said, your rules are your own, just as you should take from the scene what you want from it. (Don't let others tell you what you want or should need from it, it's not their relationship)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We don't really have rules as such, we tend to go with the flow and adjust accordingly. The main issue is hubby not being excluded - if he feels that way it's unlikely to work. He does has a rule for me that he must approve any guy I might meet alone. I choose not to have that rule for him. We also expect each other to be willing to share any communication, we might have with other partners, with each other. We also have some guidelines on how often we can both have alone dates vesus huw often we play together.

Mrs

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By *alandNitaCouple  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We have very few rules, apart from penetrative sex with someone other than our partner must be with a condom, and no man on man as Cal is straight.

Other than that we tend to just go with the flow and see where it takes us.

We've only ever played together because it is something we do as a couple, but that's not to say we wouldn't play separately.

Nita

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple  over a year ago

Halifax

We always have a social first and then arrange a play date if all happy.

Always safe sex, no anal with Miss or cumming on her face and she isnt interested in bi play. If one of us isnt happy we stop. Thankfully the people we have met have totally respected this and had similar 'rules'.

Its each to their own and you will find your own way of doing things. Enjoy.

Jack.

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By *loswingersCouple  over a year ago

Gloucester

No anal for wife / husband will give but not take .

Condom for fucking

Only play if there's a connection

Always stop if it isn't fun

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What we learned... You can make all the rules and regs you want..life is never that simple..always remember there is a living feeling thinking human being attached to your fantasies.. right when you think you got all your rules and regs nailed down, you encounter a sexy fucker that comes and blows all that preconceived expectation out of the window...thats why we love the diversity of personalities attached over the frankly non realistic expectation of the sexual acts you seek... i need a lie down after that little nugget

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By *pa and dCouple  over a year ago

Barnet

Well, firstly being too prescriptive can (we find) disturb the flow of things and close us off to what might be good experiences.

So we try to keep it simple - meet as couple first and keep play to the same room. Keep things safe and keep an eye on the other so that we can communicate (we have a "look", not that we've had to use it often) when we aren't enjoying things.

Thats more than enough rules for us!

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By *ornylittlesubWoman  over a year ago

Grangemouth


"Why not repeat encounters? They are great xx "

Kinda contradicting yourself aren't ya?

"Everyone's different"

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By *ounce-N-BoomCouple  over a year ago

Haggerston

We talked and talked it over a matter of weeks once we knew it was going to happen, came up with loads of rules and scenarios, things would just pop in to our heads until it got stupid and would just be a nightmare trying to remember them all without some kind of hand book and then what if one of us forgets etc etc. To make it simple we limit it to basically safe sex, no anal play of any sorts and no rough stuff... spanking, choking etc. We both have to 100% in to it before and during and the reason of not wanting to play cannot be questioned or pressured (talked about later however) and no separate rooms. Still early days for us, but we're happy with our limited experience so far and any issues we thought we might have are simply not there but we find honesty and communication is key.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You need to find your own way as a couple everyone's different but our rules are simple

We play together

We don't take one for the team

All play is on an equal footing with everyone involved

If a couple has to implement a no kissing rule then maybe they are not ready to swing as a couple...."

What is 'taking one for the team?

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple  over a year ago

Leicestershire

Don't take one for the team.

Don't do pain, pee or poo.

Both of us have to think it's going to work.

Never change anything on a meet only between meets after discussion.

Play safe and only in the same room.

We don't communicate individually in general so everyone is on the same page.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You need to find your own way as a couple everyone's different but our rules are simple

We play together

We don't take one for the team

All play is on an equal footing with everyone involved

If a couple has to implement a no kissing rule then maybe they are not ready to swing as a couple...."

Exactly this

We don't like playing separate room

Done it and I ( male ) was not comfy with it

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"You need to find your own way as a couple everyone's different but our rules are simple

We play together

We don't take one for the team

All play is on an equal footing with everyone involved

If a couple has to implement a no kissing rule then maybe they are not ready to swing as a couple....

What is 'taking one for the team?"

Having sex with someone you don't really fancy so that the meet can go ahead for all others involved, particularly your partner.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Our rules are safe sex always

Always same room together

Mrs loves to watch mr having fun and join in of course lol

Mrs does play with men so far it's worked out great for us, hope you both have great fun exploring xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No bare back

No anal

Always play together

no means no

We don't have a no kissing rule, however he isn't particulary interested in kissing, but she is.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Apart from the protection rule (standard h&s for all)

Our only rule is that we must know what each other is doing and where. We do play separately sometimes but as long as we know who and where we come back to each other and fuck...it's amazing.

MrP needs to agree to it before hand purely for my safety

Mrs K

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's always revealing reading about other's rules. As has been said there's no right or wrong. But they do reveal something about different people's attitudes.

We have almost no rules. We love and trust each other and having safe sex with others is really a non issue now for us. It's important to communicate clearly with each other about things. And it's also crucial that everything we each do is done just as a fun hobby and nothing more. Beyond that we're happy to meet separately, although Mrs would want me to be at the social for her security, and if only one of us is attracted to a couple we're quite happy to sit and watch. As such, while we don't take one for the team, we don't get in each other's way.

But all this chilled out laid back fluidity is really dependant on one last preference... that the people we're meeting are nice friendly people and not just fuck and go swingers. This last preference is currently proving to be our undoing

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By *arleyfanCouple  over a year ago

Dover

We started thinking we didn't want to do this tahtband the other and gradually we became more comfortable.

Now we play seperately or alone although OH being female gets a lot more offers than me so she limits herself to 2 or 3 playmates.

As a couple we like a social first and often a WhatsApp chat. When playing we found same room was a little distracting but will try again inxoectbas saying seperate rooms only limits our options.

Safe sax only if it's vaginal and but that's about it. She hates cum in her face and mouth so we ask people to respect that.

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By *ethnmelvCouple  over a year ago

Chudleigh

When we started, we thought we'd need rules for everything but now we limite rules to:

Safe sex - anal/cunt

Same room - don't all have to play, can be watching

Don't take one for the team!

Otherwise we are pretty relaxed about anything, we need to click with people to want to play, which means at least sparkly eyes, a smile & a bit of flirting

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By *arry247Couple  over a year ago

Wakefield

Few rules but one we do have now is

NO LOVEBITES.

We used to think that that was a thing that teenage virgins did but it seems to be resurging now

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I think the one rule everyone should have is respect other's choices.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For us its safe sex for penetrative sex...

Only play together same room.

And no cuddling up ( well that's my rule but found I get rather annoyed if Mr cuddles or spoons etc a meet ) x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No play till after coronation Street.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"No play till after coronation Street."

What if its all over and done with in time for the start?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The problem with rules is they don't always apply, and can get in the way.

Set some bouderies, and make a few code words, one for its all good, one for need to talk alone, and one for get us out of here.

After that discuss your rules as you go along, things you did in the last meet you want to do more of, and things you don't want to do again.

Your rules will evolve out of experience.

Most important, have fun, that is the be all and end all of swinging.

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By *anky_PankyWoman  over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"The problem with rules is they don't always apply, and can get in the way.

Set some bouderies, and make a few code words, one for its all good, one for need to talk alone, and one for get us out of here.

After that discuss your rules as you go along, things you did in the last meet you want to do more of, and things you don't want to do again.

Your rules will evolve out of experience.

Most important, have fun, that is the be all and end all of swinging."

This sounds about right to me.....

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"The problem with rules is they don't always apply, and can get in the way.

Set some bouderies, and make a few code words, one for its all good, one for need to talk alone, and one for get us out of here.

After that discuss your rules as you go along, things you did in the last meet you want to do more of, and things you don't want to do again.

Your rules will evolve out of experience.

Most important, have fun, that is the be all and end all of swinging."

Our rules or boundaries have evolved from experience. We've discovered what works for us and as importantly what doesn't.

On the subject of code words we find it easier to just say "all ok?" at intervals or if either of us need a private word ask for time out. It's obvious what a code word means when you get up and leave the room anyway

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"On the subject of code words we find it easier to just say "all ok?" at intervals or if either of us need a private word ask for time out. It's obvious what a code word means when you get up and leave the room anyway "

Actually so do we, but that has come with confidence, codes were good in the early days.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The problem with rules is they don't always apply, and can get in the way.

Set some bouderies, and make a few code words, one for its all good, one for need to talk alone, and one for get us out of here.

After that discuss your rules as you go along, things you did in the last meet you want to do more of, and things you don't want to do again.

Your rules will evolve out of experience.

Most important, have fun, that is the be all and end all of swinging.

Our rules or boundaries have evolved from experience. We've discovered what works for us and as importantly what doesn't.

On the subject of code words we find it easier to just say "all ok?" at intervals or if either of us need a private word ask for time out. It's obvious what a code word means when you get up and leave the room anyway "

just never sit and tell a new meet about your code words and then realise you need to use them..

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By *oping for funMan  over a year ago

Newport - Shropshire


"We both agree on everything that will happen or nothing happens.

No secrets.

No taking one for the team.

If playing as a couple, we all get fully involved.

Any doubt or uncomfortable situation, we leave.

"

I agree totally.. both must want the same things .. and no means no

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"On the subject of code words we find it easier to just say "all ok?" at intervals or if either of us need a private word ask for time out. It's obvious what a code word means when you get up and leave the room anyway

Actually so do we, but that has come with confidence, codes were good in the early days."

True!

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"The problem with rules is they don't always apply, and can get in the way.

Set some bouderies, and make a few code words, one for its all good, one for need to talk alone, and one for get us out of here.

After that discuss your rules as you go along, things you did in the last meet you want to do more of, and things you don't want to do again.

Your rules will evolve out of experience.

Most important, have fun, that is the be all and end all of swinging.

Our rules or boundaries have evolved from experience. We've discovered what works for us and as importantly what doesn't.

On the subject of code words we find it easier to just say "all ok?" at intervals or if either of us need a private word ask for time out. It's obvious what a code word means when you get up and leave the room anyway just never sit and tell a new meet about your code words and then realise you need to use them..

"

if you suddenly shout "the eagle has flown from the mountain top" then get up and leave the room you look much more of a fruit loop than just saying "I need a time out for a private word"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The problem with rules is they don't always apply, and can get in the way.

Set some bouderies, and make a few code words, one for its all good, one for need to talk alone, and one for get us out of here.

After that discuss your rules as you go along, things you did in the last meet you want to do more of, and things you don't want to do again.

Your rules will evolve out of experience.

Most important, have fun, that is the be all and end all of swinging.

Our rules or boundaries have evolved from experience. We've discovered what works for us and as importantly what doesn't.

On the subject of code words we find it easier to just say "all ok?" at intervals or if either of us need a private word ask for time out. It's obvious what a code word means when you get up and leave the room anyway just never sit and tell a new meet about your code words and then realise you need to use them..

if you suddenly shout "the eagle has flown from the mountain top" then get up and leave the room you look much more of a fruit loop than just saying "I need a time out for a private word" "

ours are very simple and wont sound out of place but once you have said what they are... it is a bit dicey when you need to use them...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think the one rule everyone should have is respect other's choices.

"

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By *aradiselost747Couple  over a year ago

dundonald


"The problem with rules is they don't always apply, and can get in the way.

Set some bouderies, and make a few code words, one for its all good, one for need to talk alone, and one for get us out of here.

After that discuss your rules as you go along, things you did in the last meet you want to do more of, and things you don't want to do again.

Your rules will evolve out of experience.

Most important, have fun, that is the be all and end all of swinging.

Our rules or boundaries have evolved from experience. We've discovered what works for us and as importantly what doesn't.

On the subject of code words we find it easier to just say "all ok?" at intervals or if either of us need a private word ask for time out. It's obvious what a code word means when you get up and leave the room anyway "

we totally agree with this... we have on this journey now for just over a year.... our first meet with a single female over a year ago, was full of rules, which with the benefit of heinsight ruined what should have been a great experience.... we have since went into clubs with a no rule policy other than "no kissing" except between the girls.... this weekend we have just had our first single guy which we both loved, he came all over a girls face which he loved and overall we had a great weekend.

Rules ruin the experience for those u meet also. The single girl we met a year ago desperately wanted to suck my hubby off and asked very respitfully, but because it was in our rules not to allow it..... I said know..... she was so hot and he would have loved it, I would have liked to see it, and he has a nice cock so she would have liked it....

Swinging is like getting a tattoo, it's addictive, the more you do the more u want....

We know want to find another single guy to fuck me, which a year ago would have been out of the question..... go with an open mind, do t do anything with someone else you wouldn't do with each other, and is one is not comfortable stop

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When we started, we thought we'd need rules for everything but now we limite rules to:

Safe sex - anal/cunt

Same room - don't all have to play, can be watching

Don't take one for the team!

Otherwise we are pretty relaxed about anything, we need to click with people to want to play, which means at least sparkly eyes, a smile & a bit of flirting "

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By *aradiselost747Couple  over a year ago

dundonald


"When we started, we thought we'd need rules for everything but now we limite rules to:

Safe sex - anal/cunt

Same room - don't all have to play, can be watching

Don't take one for the team!

Otherwise we are pretty relaxed about anything, we need to click with people to want to play, which means at least sparkly eyes, a smile & a bit of flirting "

Love this and might adopt this set of rules

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No play till after coronation Street.

What if its all over and done with in time for the start? "

That's gives me recovery time for round two

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Condoms for penetration

One stops, we both stop

Never take one for the team

No dates

It's not a rule but we don't often ask names in clubs.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"No play till after coronation Street.

What if its all over and done with in time for the start?

That's gives me recovery time for round two "

Excellent plan and there's always Ken Barlow to get you in the mood

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"The problem with rules is they don't always apply, and can get in the way.

Set some bouderies, and make a few code words, one for its all good, one for need to talk alone, and one for get us out of here.

After that discuss your rules as you go along, things you did in the last meet you want to do more of, and things you don't want to do again.

Your rules will evolve out of experience.

Most important, have fun, that is the be all and end all of swinging.

Our rules or boundaries have evolved from experience. We've discovered what works for us and as importantly what doesn't.

On the subject of code words we find it easier to just say "all ok?" at intervals or if either of us need a private word ask for time out. It's obvious what a code word means when you get up and leave the room anyway just never sit and tell a new meet about your code words and then realise you need to use them..

if you suddenly shout "the eagle has flown from the mountain top" then get up and leave the room you look much more of a fruit loop than just saying "I need a time out for a private word" ours are very simple and wont sound out of place but once you have said what they are... it is a bit dicey when you need to use them... "

I have used the time honoured kick under the table at socials

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My husband and I were talking recently about whether we should actively open ourselves up to couples. But reading this thread (and numerous others) makes me feel we'd be entering a mine field! What would worry me most would be the risk of having to stop mid play because someone from the other couple suddenly changes their mind. I mean what causes people to need all play to stop once everything has started? Don't get me wrong, we have played with couples before, but it's just been a relaxed go with the flow experience and not strictly a swap. If I don't want to play for any reason, I'm certainly not going to spoil my husband's fun or the fun of the person he's playing with. Single guys seem so straightforward by comparison. We've yet to have a guy give us a list of rules prior to play (though I might have been subject to a good spanking for biting a man's neck lol), and I certainly wouldn't expect a single guy to suddenly stop play with us half way through. Unless we're just too relaxed for our own good

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The dynamics for MFMF are generally very different from a couple meeting a single guy, most single guys will fuck anything, carry on playing when they feel a little uncomfortable and generally be open to any type of play as long as they get there end away and come, couples it's far different if the play is not good, boring, uncomfortable or odd, they can stop, go off and play on there own, we've had meets where it got uncomfortable, we've stopped play, had a good giggle about it on the way home and then played with each other.

With single guys you are in control and it's on your terms, with couples it's every one on equal terms. You either embrace the swinging lifestyle of sharing, compromise, compassion & fun, or you stay with the single guy route where as the couple you can call all the shots

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By *ikeC81Man  over a year ago

harrow

That's interesting as a single guy...for me

Penatrive sex - condom (pussy and anal)

If spanking me respect my code word

If I am spanking them, ask them for code word an d stop straight away

If flirting in a club, as can I kiss, then if yes then you kinda know then it is ok to kiss when play

I am straight so don't entertain cock

If someone has had to much to drink I don't play either...personal reasons

Will stop if I feel uncomfortable

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"My husband and I were talking recently about whether we should actively open ourselves up to couples. But reading this thread (and numerous others) makes me feel we'd be entering a mine field! What would worry me most would be the risk of having to stop mid play because someone from the other couple suddenly changes their mind. I mean what causes people to need all play to stop once everything has started? Don't get me wrong, we have played with couples before, but it's just been a relaxed go with the flow experience and not strictly a swap. If I don't want to play for any reason, I'm certainly not going to spoil my husband's fun or the fun of the person he's playing with. Single guys seem so straightforward by comparison. We've yet to have a guy give us a list of rules prior to play (though I might have been subject to a good spanking for biting a man's neck lol), and I certainly wouldn't expect a single guy to suddenly stop play with us half way through. Unless we're just too relaxed for our own good

Mrs"

What causes people to stop is if one person is refusing to stop doing something that they've been asked to stop or is potentially going to cause someone harm etc. I think I'd be more concerned about meeting someone who said they would continue whatever was happening to their partner. We've never stopped play and don't anticipate doing so but we implemented that rule or boundary or whatever you want to call it after a particularly unpleasant meet with a couple which could have ended very badly indeed. I feel safer and more confident with the one stop we all stop boundary actually articulated. Surely nobody would continue to play if their partner was in distress or carry on with someone who was being nasty just not to spoil their partners fun.

I think you might have been very lucky rather than too relaxed and I hope you continue to be so . Try meeting a couple, you might like it .

Oh I wouldn't expect a single guy to endure something he wasn't enjoying either.

That all sounds a bit ranty, wasn't meant to be

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By *ute Manchester SwingersCouple  over a year ago

Manchester

This was really helpful x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My husband and I were talking recently about whether we should actively open ourselves up to couples. But reading this thread (and numerous others) makes me feel we'd be entering a mine field! What would worry me most would be the risk of having to stop mid play because someone from the other couple suddenly changes their mind. I mean what causes people to need all play to stop once everything has started? Don't get me wrong, we have played with couples before, but it's just been a relaxed go with the flow experience and not strictly a swap. If I don't want to play for any reason, I'm certainly not going to spoil my husband's fun or the fun of the person he's playing with. Single guys seem so straightforward by comparison. We've yet to have a guy give us a list of rules prior to play (though I might have been subject to a good spanking for biting a man's neck lol), and I certainly wouldn't expect a single guy to suddenly stop play with us half way through. Unless we're just too relaxed for our own good

Mrs

What causes people to stop is if one person is refusing to stop doing something that they've been asked to stop or is potentially going to cause someone harm etc. I think I'd be more concerned about meeting someone who said they would continue whatever was happening to their partner. We've never stopped play and don't anticipate doing so but we implemented that rule or boundary or whatever you want to call it after a particularly unpleasant meet with a couple which could have ended very badly indeed. I feel safer and more confident with the one stop we all stop boundary actually articulated. Surely nobody would continue to play if their partner was in distress or carry on with someone who was being nasty just not to spoil their partners fun.

I think you might have been very lucky rather than too relaxed and I hope you continue to be so . Try meeting a couple, you might like it .

Oh I wouldn't expect a single guy to endure something he wasn't enjoying either.

That all sounds a bit ranty, wasn't meant to be "

I think a refusal to stop a particular sexual act, when told not to, do it is sexual abuse. I think that goes without saying that nobody would want anything more to do with people who behave like like. Yes of course my husband and I would walk away, and possibly report to club staff if such an atrocity happened. But we'd be very hurt if one of us had to stop if one of the other couple found it a bit boring or not quite up to expectations. I thought that's what people were suggesting.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"My husband and I were talking recently about whether we should actively open ourselves up to couples. But reading this thread (and numerous others) makes me feel we'd be entering a mine field! What would worry me most would be the risk of having to stop mid play because someone from the other couple suddenly changes their mind. I mean what causes people to need all play to stop once everything has started? Don't get me wrong, we have played with couples before, but it's just been a relaxed go with the flow experience and not strictly a swap. If I don't want to play for any reason, I'm certainly not going to spoil my husband's fun or the fun of the person he's playing with. Single guys seem so straightforward by comparison. We've yet to have a guy give us a list of rules prior to play (though I might have been subject to a good spanking for biting a man's neck lol), and I certainly wouldn't expect a single guy to suddenly stop play with us half way through. Unless we're just too relaxed for our own good

Mrs

What causes people to stop is if one person is refusing to stop doing something that they've been asked to stop or is potentially going to cause someone harm etc. I think I'd be more concerned about meeting someone who said they would continue whatever was happening to their partner. We've never stopped play and don't anticipate doing so but we implemented that rule or boundary or whatever you want to call it after a particularly unpleasant meet with a couple which could have ended very badly indeed. I feel safer and more confident with the one stop we all stop boundary actually articulated. Surely nobody would continue to play if their partner was in distress or carry on with someone who was being nasty just not to spoil their partners fun.

I think you might have been very lucky rather than too relaxed and I hope you continue to be so . Try meeting a couple, you might like it .

Oh I wouldn't expect a single guy to endure something he wasn't enjoying either.

That all sounds a bit ranty, wasn't meant to be

I think a refusal to stop a particular sexual act, when told not to, do it is sexual abuse. I think that goes without saying that nobody would want anything more to do with people who behave like like. Yes of course my husband and I would walk away, and possibly report to club staff if such an atrocity happened. But we'd be very hurt if one of us had to stop if one of the other couple found it a bit boring or not quite up to expectations. I thought that's what people were suggesting. "

They might be but it's certainly not what we're suggesting.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We're still thinking up the rules, think I'll definitely add the no love bites though.

Trying to work out what you'd feel comfortable doing or have done, or watching, whilst never having done it

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By *ikilovesCCouple  over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

Interesting and very enlightening thread

for beginners like us it's great to be able to benefit from the knowledge of those more experienced , thanks everyone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Our rules can change but we always stick to no anal and when we come

Home we always have sex no matter what!!! This is so important as you come back together my man says this is the best part of what we do if this stopped for me I'd struggle to swing with him xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Rules are for breaking guys

Jojo xx

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By *lceeWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

We swing separately, so strictly it's more of an open relationship than swinging. I lump them both in together as technically we're both bumping uglies with others.

We have very few rules really: always make sure the other knows where we are and who we are with, sex with each other when we get back (actually that's not a rule, that's more a consequence). There must be more. Erm... No, that's about it actually.

We're chilled out about it all really.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Definitely no taking one for the team. I, the female half did it once! He was too busy enjoying himself and was reading my non verbal comms. From now one we are up front and direct and just say no. It's NSA and adult fun ffs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Definitely no taking one for the team. I, the female half did it once! He was too busy enjoying himself and was reading my non verbal comms. From now one we are up front and direct and just say no. It's NSA and adult fun ffs "

Should read as 'wasn't reading non verbals'

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No masterbating whilst driving. "

Very wise need to keep two hands on the wheel ............... but a blow job whilst driving !!!

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By *eardedSilverFoxMan  over a year ago

Colchester


"You need to find your own way as a couple everyone's different but our rules are simple

We play together

We don't take one for the team

All play is on an equal footing with everyone involved

If a couple has to implement a no kissing rule then maybe they are not ready to swing as a couple....

Exactly this

We don't like playing separate room

Done it and I ( male ) was not comfy with it

"

I don't blame you mate.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I have used the time honoured kick under the table at socials "

I need to sit closer to lee at socials

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