FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Not confirming or cancelling last minute
Not confirming or cancelling last minute
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
It's so annoying. I know sometimes things happen and it's no ones fault but I seem to have had a load of guys who agree to meet for a social and then don't confirm or cancel last minute.
I work full time and have children so my free time is valuable to me. Another wasted Sunday! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It is a pain isn't it?!
I gave up on arranging to meet guys for drinks ages ago - much easier to go to a club and chat to the guys who are there. At least they all turned up!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's so annoying. I know sometimes things happen and it's no ones fault but I seem to have had a load of guys who agree to meet for a social and then don't confirm or cancel last minute.
I work full time and have children so my free time is valuable to me. Another wasted Sunday! "
Yep totally agree with you. I had one cancel today as well. He'd left it until about an hr before due to meet. Fortunately I've been round long enough to know NEVER arrange meets around other people. So I was going shopping anyhow. Just never had a coffee with a potential playmate. Oh and to the 20 plus guys I said no to - sorry, but your potential meet place was wasted. Remember that when you are moaning about not getting meets - your fellow men are letting you down, not the ladies with limited time who will meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's so annoying. I know sometimes things happen and it's no ones fault but I seem to have had a load of guys who agree to meet for a social and then don't confirm or cancel last minute.
I work full time and have children so my free time is valuable to me. Another wasted Sunday!
Yep totally agree with you. I had one cancel today as well. He'd left it until about an hr before due to meet. Fortunately I've been round long enough to know NEVER arrange meets around other people. So I was going shopping anyhow. Just never had a coffee with a potential playmate. Oh and to the 20 plus guys I said no to - sorry, but your potential meet place was wasted. Remember that when you are moaning about not getting meets - your fellow men are letting you down, not the ladies with limited time who will meet."
100% agree. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Things happen. I was booked into a club last night. Work ran late so messaged them to tell them.
On the other side i had arranged a daytime meet last week. In the hours before i didn't get any messages saying it was on or off. So i guessed that something had happened. It had. Her childcare had let her down.
Ideally communication is key. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Been let down twice in a week, once after driving for 40 minutes, one a few hours before and got blocked lol.
Don't get people sometimes. Got to get through the nonsense to meet the right person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stick to clubs.
Treat any meets off here as a low priority and when you can tie it in with a shopping trip and if it's a no show, your time is not wasted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just happened again. Meant to meet tomorrow night, both looking forward to it. Blocked and no explanation! Twice in a week!
Just say if you change your mind, no need to mess people about : ( |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been let down twice in a week, once after driving for 40 minutes, one a few hours before and got blocked lol.
Don't get people sometimes. Got to get through the nonsense to meet the right person."
I told you first thing in the morning I couldn't meet, we were due to meet in the evening but I had not heard back from you since my previous message a couple of days before. So I made other plans. I can block you if I want to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you havent heard from them just message them and say if i havent heard back by (certain time) i will assume the meet is off"
If you have a doctors appointment and you don't hear off them on the day, do you assume the appointment is off? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It is a pain isn't it?!
I gave up on arranging to meet guys for drinks ages ago - much easier to go to a club and chat to the guys who are there. At least they all turned up! "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The funny thing is, the advice we get on the members on this forum is to confirm, to message the day before and to message on the day otherwise we 'must' assume it's cancelled. That's the logic on other member's social/sex meets.
A few days ago, we've arranged/agreed to drop a pressure washer off at a friends house when we pass in tomorrow morning. Now, we've not heard anything and if we don't get a text tonight or in the morning, should we assume that he's cancelled the pressure washer, it's no longer needed? Crikey, should we text or ring? Scream...panic...it's all off...can't handle what we agreed too...we're adults but that's irrelevant (..sorry, loads of sarcasm there).
We need to book the car in for an MOT. Usually we ring the garage, agree a date and time and then we take it. Not tricky is it? As from now, should we assume they cancelled the appointment because they/we didn't/don't confirm the day before and on the day?
So in life, when you agree to a date and time to do something, it goes ahead without confirmation, well, that's what we've experienced in over forty years. Ok, some doctors and dentists like to send reminders.
It's just Swinging meets where people 'assume' the meet collapsed because the confirmation didn't land on the day or on the day before. As it/could involve sex, this kind of meet attracts drama, hence this confirmation process, panic due to silence, go down negative thought process, 'assume' cancellation, report and block.
Sigh  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The funny thing is, the advice we get on the members on this forum is to confirm, to message the day before and to message on the day otherwise we 'must' assume it's cancelled. That's the logic on other member's social/sex meets.
A few days ago, we've arranged/agreed to drop a pressure washer off at a friends house when we pass in tomorrow morning. Now, we've not heard anything and if we don't get a text tonight or in the morning, should we assume that he's cancelled the pressure washer, it's no longer needed? Crikey, should we text or ring? Scream...panic...it's all off...can't handle what we agreed too...we're adults but that's irrelevant (..sorry, loads of sarcasm there).
We need to book the car in for an MOT. Usually we ring the garage, agree a date and time and then we take it. Not tricky is it? As from now, should we assume they cancelled the appointment because they/we didn't/don't confirm the day before and on the day?
So in life, when you agree to a date and time to do something, it goes ahead without confirmation, well, that's what we've experienced in over forty years. Ok, some doctors and dentists like to send reminders.
It's just Swinging meets where people 'assume' the meet collapsed because the confirmation didn't land on the day or on the day before. As it/could involve sex, this kind of meet attracts drama, hence this confirmation process, panic due to silence, go down negative thought process, 'assume' cancellation, report and block.
Sigh "
Have you just joined?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The funny thing is, the advice we get on the members on this forum is to confirm, to message the day before and to message on the day otherwise we 'must' assume it's cancelled. That's the logic on other member's social/sex meets.
A few days ago, we've arranged/agreed to drop a pressure washer off at a friends house when we pass in tomorrow morning. Now, we've not heard anything and if we don't get a text tonight or in the morning, should we assume that he's cancelled the pressure washer, it's no longer needed? Crikey, should we text or ring? Scream...panic...it's all off...can't handle what we agreed too...we're adults but that's irrelevant (..sorry, loads of sarcasm there).
We need to book the car in for an MOT. Usually we ring the garage, agree a date and time and then we take it. Not tricky is it? As from now, should we assume they cancelled the appointment because they/we didn't/don't confirm the day before and on the day?
So in life, when you agree to a date and time to do something, it goes ahead without confirmation, well, that's what we've experienced in over forty years. Ok, some doctors and dentists like to send reminders.
It's just Swinging meets where people 'assume' the meet collapsed because the confirmation didn't land on the day or on the day before. As it/could involve sex, this kind of meet attracts drama, hence this confirmation process, panic due to silence, go down negative thought process, 'assume' cancellation, report and block.
Sigh
Have you just joined? "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The funny thing is, the advice we get on the members on this forum is to confirm, to message the day before and to message on the day otherwise we 'must' assume it's cancelled. That's the logic on other member's social/sex meets.
A few days ago, we've arranged/agreed to drop a pressure washer off at a friends house when we pass in tomorrow morning. Now, we've not heard anything and if we don't get a text tonight or in the morning, should we assume that he's cancelled the pressure washer, it's no longer needed? Crikey, should we text or ring? Scream...panic...it's all off...can't handle what we agreed too...we're adults but that's irrelevant (..sorry, loads of sarcasm there).
We need to book the car in for an MOT. Usually we ring the garage, agree a date and time and then we take it. Not tricky is it? As from now, should we assume they cancelled the appointment because they/we didn't/don't confirm the day before and on the day?
So in life, when you agree to a date and time to do something, it goes ahead without confirmation, well, that's what we've experienced in over forty years. Ok, some doctors and dentists like to send reminders.
It's just Swinging meets where people 'assume' the meet collapsed because the confirmation didn't land on the day or on the day before. As it/could involve sex, this kind of meet attracts drama, hence this confirmation process, panic due to silence, go down negative thought process, 'assume' cancellation, report and block.
Sigh "
People only think that because experience has taught them it. The number of meets where I've been stood up or let down without explanation are generally those who stop messaging a day or so before. In the early days being a polite soul i'd always turn up just in case they did ( I wouldn't want them being stood up!) even if i'd messaged and had no response. Over three years of swinging now has taught me that though there are some time wasters who will message right up until the hour you're meant to meet, generally confirmation on the day and even an hour before is good practice. FAB world is entirely different from the real world and manners and a sense of decency don't always prevail on here. It's a hard lesson to learn but one that many of us have had to learn first hand. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Have you just joined?
Obviously a usual suspect that can't read profiles! "
Oh I can read alright, but when dealign with friends and businesses becomes the same as dealing with completely random strangers on a swinging/sex site, I might have a bit more understanding of your rant |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *allypWoman
over a year ago
Bricket Wood |
The bottom line is that it's just a social wheeze. It's not important. So cancelling or not showing up is quite possible. So last minute confirmation is necessary to save time wasting. There's other more important things in life that turn up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Have you just joined?
Obviously a usual suspect that can't read profiles!
Oh I can read alright, but when dealign with friends and businesses becomes the same as dealing with completely random strangers on a swinging/sex site, I might have a bit more understanding of your rant "
Then why ask the question? We wouldn't consider 7 months new.
It's simply the case of being an adult, we make loads of appointments with repeat places or strangers. We're capable of sticking to that, so are many others. Maybe swinging sites brings the immature side out of various people.
An observation/reality is not a rant. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The bottom line is that it's just a social wheeze. It's not important. So cancelling or not showing up is quite possible. So last minute confirmation is necessary to save time wasting. There's other more important things in life that turn up."
Confirmation on why people treat meets as irrelevant, low priority, maybe an inconvenience. Sadly, the other party often doesn't feel the same when let down by timewasters. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Then why ask the question? We wouldn't consider 7 months new.
It's simply the case of being an adult, we make loads of appointments with repeat places or strangers. We're capable of sticking to that, so are many others. Maybe swinging sites brings the immature side out of various people.
An observation/reality is not a rant. "
I was being facetious
And telling us we need to be adults, when most of us have had time wasters on here, is a touch patronising |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Then why ask the question? We wouldn't consider 7 months new.
It's simply the case of being an adult, we make loads of appointments with repeat places or strangers. We're capable of sticking to that, so are many others. Maybe swinging sites brings the immature side out of various people.
An observation/reality is not a rant.
I was being facetious
And telling us we need to be adults, when most of us have had time wasters on here, is a touch patronising "
If you wish to feel patronised, that's your cookie, none was intended so you didn't grasp the meaning.
Just remain being the adult and show. If the other party don't show, that's their problem, they need to deal with their immaturity. We still enjoy the night, have a drink, go for a stroll and treat it as though we just went to the pub.
At least no show's reduces the search list.
Imagine you get a message on the day, "Hi, we'll be there 730pm as agreed, see you soon xx". Then no show. Now what? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you wish to feel patronised, that's your cookie, none was intended so you didn't grasp the meaning.
Just remain being the adult and show. If the other party don't show, that's their problem, they need to deal with their immaturity. We still enjoy the night, have a drink, go for a stroll and treat it as though we just went to the pub.
At least no show's reduces the search list.
Imagine you get a message on the day, "Hi, we'll be there 730pm as agreed, see you soon xx". Then no show. Now what?"
I know how to deal with these situations thanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you havent heard from them just message them and say if i havent heard back by (certain time) i will assume the meet is off
If you have a doctors appointment and you don't hear off them on the day, do you assume the appointment is off?"
Poor analogy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stick to clubs.
Treat any meets off here as a low priority and when you can tie it in with a shopping trip and if it's a no show, your time is not wasted."
We never meet anywhere else for a number of reasons:
- Most 'females' on here are sad little men wanking on their keyboards
- Most 'couples' on here are just single blokes
- It is better to meet in a club as if the woman has gained 50 kgs since last night or has turned into a man in a frock or the man has shrunk by 4" in height, then we can make our excuses and look for someone else in a club
- Mrs. J - |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Then why ask the question? We wouldn't consider 7 months new.
It's simply the case of being an adult, we make loads of appointments with repeat places or strangers. We're capable of sticking to that, so are many others. Maybe swinging sites brings the immature side out of various people.
An observation/reality is not a rant.
I was being facetious
And telling us we need to be adults, when most of us have had time wasters on here, is a touch patronising
If you wish to feel patronised, that's your cookie, none was intended so you didn't grasp the meaning.
Just remain being the adult and show. If the other party don't show, that's their problem, they need to deal with their immaturity. We still enjoy the night, have a drink, go for a stroll and treat it as though we just went to the pub.
At least no show's reduces the search list.
Imagine you get a message on the day, "Hi, we'll be there 730pm as agreed, see you soon xx". Then no show. Now what?"
You obviously cannot empathise with singles |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
