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How do I get my wife into swinging
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You know her we dont op
Has she shown any interest in this? Dows she have fantasies?
Maybe a good chat would be a start ,of she says no will you be able to carry on as you are?or will you stay on here and play away?
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Strange, to be married and not know how to approach a subject with ones own partner over such a thing.
Perhaps get to know the lady in question and become comfortable around her enough to talk openly about such things before attempting to practice them |
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Only you know your Mrs and how she is likely to react. So specific wording Etc. is impossible for anyone else to give you.
Her reaction could be to say WOW! "I've been waiting for ages for you to ask me, when do we start?" or she could hit you over the head with a frying pan, or anything in between.
You could try the "gossip" strategy, a mate at work and his Mrs Etc. Or the fantasy strategy, watch a porn movie of an MMF (MMF is better than a foursome as it makes her think it is more about her possible fantasy and not just you getting a shag) and gauge her reaction to it. "Would you fancy that love?"
DO NOT arrange a meet, for a drink and see how it goes, with another couple. That is the ultimate recipe for disaster. |
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"Strange, to be married and not know how to approach a subject with ones own partner over such a thing.
Perhaps get to know the lady in question and become comfortable around her enough to talk openly about such things before attempting to practice them "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex wife was quite reserved and rather shy although she did love the attention from other guys, we'd quite often sit in a crowded bar wife looking knockout in a tight fitting LBD, I'd sometimes pop out for a cigarette and take my time in returning just casually watching her being chatted up. When I'd return she would tell me a guy just hit on her and so it went on until I came right out with it one evening and asked her if she fancied a threesome with one of these young guys. She didn't exactly say no and look horrified, so after a couple more weeks flirting we took the plunge and brought one of these guys home, and from that moment on our swinging life began happy days  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am trying to get my wife into swinging but don’t know how to bring up the topic, any advice would be great. "
next time you are both having a sexy session ask her about any sexual fantasys she may have, tell her it could be anything and you wont be shocked, then tell her you promise to help her fulfil any fantasy she may have,
depending on what she asks for it may not lead to swinging but it may lead to some great sex,
be carefull as she may ask for something that you do not like,
lastly
if she is not interested she is not interested end of story, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ask her once you guys get a little d*unk. Would she be up to go to a Swingers club, preferably on holiday as the mood is much better for it. Take her to Amsterdam or Gran canaria, see If she would like it. Then slowly read of she would like to have it In her life.
I guess its a start. |
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My wife is quite shy and reserved until the bedroom.
She always got turned on during sex if I mentioned another cock for her to enjoy so I made it happen, the first time was such a turn on, I wasn't sure how she would react but she got right into it fucked his brains out. |
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
Try a bit of a story whispered in her ear one night in bed, cuddle up to her kissing her neck and talking softly in her ear as you touch her, "keep your eyes shut and imagine this" is a good start, as you touch her more tell her to pretend she is in a dark cinema with you beside her, but the touching is coming from the seat on her other side, explore ideas for what turns her on the most, eventually turning it towards your ideas, but take it slow, explain that a guy from work said his wife loves this game so you thought to do it for her, eventually you will learn all her most intimate likes and dislikes. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Simple answer is you don't "get" her into anything she doesn't want to do - you talk to her about fantasies and desires and bring up that it might be fun to try swinging and would she be interested in doing so. If she says no, you accept that and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive just asked the same question without reading other posts sorry..
Im totally in the same boat and would love someone to give me the answer but listening to the advice its pretty clear I have to suggest at her most vulnerable and see if she goes for it, if not approach from another angle. Has anyone else struggled but later succeeded? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive just asked the same question without reading other posts sorry..
Im totally in the same boat and would love someone to give me the answer but listening to the advice its pretty clear I have to suggest at her most vulnerable and see if she goes for it, if not approach from another angle. Has anyone else struggled but later succeeded? "
"at her most vulnerable"??? I read the replies as ask her when she is most relaxed not vulnerable  |
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not knowing anything about her its difficult to say but just tell her you find the idea a turn on ..if shes horrified then perhaps youve married the wrong girl..just talk about ...maybe shes fantasising about it to ..go to a party and see its for you...its a shame when people cant communicate.. |
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Do what i did was on here 4 about 3 years then one day said omg the lads at work recon a load of swingers meet in a local pub once a month to chat and meet new friends i then left it for abit and one night said hey that things on at the pub tomorrow do you wanna go for a laugh lucky for me she said go on then and loved it went to a club the following week |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When she's most vulnerable"......sorry OP but that's really manipulative, and even if you did (effectively) pressure and coerce her into doing it just to make YOU happy, the resentment that would breed would eventually end badly, for you and for anyone else involved.
If you're not sure how to bring it up, then rather than suggesting you don't know each other as well as you ought to, it actually suggests you think she will be against the idea. Having a single profile that she doesn't know about, doing this behind her back......not good dude. Not good at all.
Nobody here is going to tell you how to live your own life (well,a few might, having said that!) but it might at least be a good idea to look at your priorities?
If you're determined to suggest this to her, even suspecting she won't go for it, then.......do you watch porn together? If you do, then maybe ask her if she's ever thought about doing some of the things you watch. If you don't......then maybe let her catch YOU watching it, and when she does, explain how you have fantasies which you were unsure about bringing up with her, reassure her you they don't lessen your attraction to her (that bit is REALLY important, btw), and see where that conversation leads.
Good luck. I suspect you might need it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""When she's most vulnerable"......sorry OP but that's really manipulative, and even if you did (effectively) pressure and coerce her into doing it just to make YOU happy, the resentment that would breed would eventually end badly, for you and for anyone else involved.
If you're not sure how to bring it up, then rather than suggesting you don't know each other as well as you ought to, it actually suggests you think she will be against the idea. Having a single profile that she doesn't know about, doing this behind her back......not good dude. Not good at all.
Nobody here is going to tell you how to live your own life (well,a few might, having said that!) but it might at least be a good idea to look at your priorities?
If you're determined to suggest this to her, even suspecting she won't go for it, then.......do you watch porn together? If you do, then maybe ask her if she's ever thought about doing some of the things you watch. If you don't......then maybe let her catch YOU watching it, and when she does, explain how you have fantasies which you were unsure about bringing up with her, reassure her you they don't lessen your attraction to her (that bit is REALLY important, btw), and see where that conversation leads.
Good luck. I suspect you might need it. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am trying to get my wife into swinging but don’t know how to bring up the topic, any advice would be great. "
What is sex like with her? Do you talk openly about sex and fantasies? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
""When she's most vulnerable"......sorry OP but that's really manipulative, and even if you did (effectively) pressure and coerce her into doing it just to make YOU happy, the resentment that would breed would eventually end badly, for you and for anyone else involved.
"
He didn't say that |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
This is the advice section of the swinging forum. If people can't give the man advice please leave the thread to people who will.
The mans profile is not up for discussion and don't posts suggestions of anything illegal even in jest as you will fall foul of the forum rules |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
To the OP, we each wrote down a list of fantasies with a yes no or maybe next to it as to whether we would like to try them out or not, then swopped lists to see if any matched, there were lots of matches so we started from there.
You can have the greatest relationship with your OH but you can't possibly know what reaction they would have to asking them swing as it is not the norm for most people but if you think there may be an idea she may want some different kind of fun then the likes of the way we did it worked for us.
Good luck |
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We got into it after 30+ years together...long story but honesty and a few conversations and here we are..I was the most moral/manogonmist person you could meet...sorry if my spelling is wrong but you get the idea.I had fantasies and needs too...we just needed to be honest and talk...but be carefull of what you wish for.
If you have a profile as a single you may need to come clean if that's a risk you want to take then go for it.  |
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