FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > ED in group situations only
ED in group situations only
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I feel really embarrassed about this but in a 1 to 1 situation I am absolutely fine.
2 on 1 I'm absolutely fine.
When its 3 or more I seem to be bottling it and suffer from ED.
Is this common. I've hit a wall twice this week.
Is it common? Is there anything I can do to prepare for the 3+ men to 1 woman situation?
This is highly embarrassing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Viagra
Thank you but in fine in 1-1 and 2-1 situations.
Am I at a disposition that I should not approach these situations.
Does anybody have this?"
it’s not that much of a silly suggestion, it may help to take a low dose - mentally to get over it and know that you only need to be aroused and everything will be hard as it should be, once you e done it once or twice in group situation you would probably not need the help anymore xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"I feel really embarrassed about this but in a 1 to 1 situation I am absolutely fine.
2 on 1 I'm absolutely fine.
When its 3 or more I seem to be bottling it and suffer from ED.
Is this common. I've hit a wall twice this week.
Is it common? Is there anything I can do to prepare for the 3+ men to 1 woman situation?
This is highly embarrassing"
When I first started doing this I was wide eyed and bushy tailed, ready to have a go and jump into any situation like some guy with an infinitely long bucket list and three weeks to live! Then after a while I took a break to evaluate all the stuff I'd been getting up to and to have a think about what I want from the lifestyle going forward.
The thing I learned is that there are many aspects to the swinging lifestyle, horses for courses if you like, and not everything will apply to everyone. Personally, I feel like I'm more drawn to 1 to 1 play but that doesn't mean that I won't dabble in the odd bit of group play with people that I know well.
I don't know how long you've been doing this but my advice would be to stick with what you feel most comfortable with but keep an open mind. You are free to choose, free to change but most of all...free to be free!
Hope this helps!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Viagra
Thank you but in fine in 1-1 and 2-1 situations.
Am I at a disposition that I should not approach these situations.
Does anybody have this? it’s not that much of a silly suggestion, it may help to take a low dose - mentally to get over it and know that you only need to be aroused and everything will be hard as it should be, once you e done it once or twice in group situation you would probably not need the help anymore xx"
Thank you. I'll bear that in mind |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I feel really embarrassed about this but in a 1 to 1 situation I am absolutely fine.
2 on 1 I'm absolutely fine.
When its 3 or more I seem to be bottling it and suffer from ED.
Is this common. I've hit a wall twice this week.
Is it common? Is there anything I can do to prepare for the 3+ men to 1 woman situation?
This is highly embarrassing
When I first started doing this I was wide eyed and bushy tailed, ready to have a go and jump into any situation like some guy with an infinitely long bucket list and three weeks to live! Then after a while I took a break to evaluate all the stuff I'd been getting up to and to have a think about what I want from the lifestyle going forward.
The thing I learned is that there are many aspects to the swinging lifestyle, horses for courses if you like, and not everything will apply to everyone. Personally, I feel like I'm more drawn to 1 to 1 play but that doesn't mean that I won't dabble in the odd bit of group play with people that I know well.
I don't know how long you've been doing this but my advice would be to stick with what you feel most comfortable with but keep an open mind. You are free to choose, free to change but most of all...free to be free!
Hope this helps! "
Yes it does. Thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel really embarrassed about this but in a 1 to 1 situation I am absolutely fine.
2 on 1 I'm absolutely fine.
When its 3 or more I seem to be bottling it and suffer from ED.
Is this common. I've hit a wall twice this week.
Is it common? Is there anything I can do to prepare for the 3+ men to 1 woman situation?
This is highly embarrassing"
Usain Bolt as great as he is will be shit in an F1 car so what did he do? Stick to what he does best.if group situations are causing you embarassing issues, guess what bro! Stick to what you do best. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I feel really embarrassed about this but in a 1 to 1 situation I am absolutely fine.
2 on 1 I'm absolutely fine.
When its 3 or more I seem to be bottling it and suffer from ED.
Is this common. I've hit a wall twice this week.
Is it common? Is there anything I can do to prepare for the 3+ men to 1 woman situation?
This is highly embarrassing
Usain Bolt as great as he is will be shit in an F1 car so what did he do? Stick to what he does best.if group situations are causing you embarassing issues, guess what bro! Stick to what you do best. "
If he wasn't interested in these situations I would guess he wouldn't ask the question so don't bother isn't what hes after I suspect.
Maybe its a mindset thing, that just takes adjustment... If you are very use to 1 to 1s then maybe give it a another go with other guys or a different lady.
Just food for thought |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rezMan
over a year ago
Walton-upon-Thames |
Viagra, from what little I know about it, isn’t a good idea. I’m told you can become dependent on it, and clearly you’re not in ‘need’, so it seems best avoided.
A multi person scenario can leave people rather uninvolved at times, especially a straight MFFF for example. It could be those moments when your game falls away a bit. So, echoing sentiments of other replies, perhaps those voyeur moments aren’t your cup of tea. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I feel really embarrassed about this but in a 1 to 1 situation I am absolutely fine.
2 on 1 I'm absolutely fine.
When its 3 or more I seem to be bottling it and suffer from ED.
Is this common. I've hit a wall twice this week.
Is it common? Is there anything I can do to prepare for the 3+ men to 1 woman situation?
This is highly embarrassing"
My hubby has the same problem. Personally I believe it's down to the environment.
He has no problem with 2-3 people, but anymore and he can't function |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Male here
I know what you mean, when we had our first couple of group plays I struggled to remain focus and although I got hard, I wouldnt say it was rock hard. I found concentrating on just one person and trying to ignore the rest really made the difference. After that the issue seemed to go away. Group play has it's pros and cons and is a very different dynamic to what you expect when you fantasize about it, you need to find your group play happy place  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd agree that it's down to over stimulation. It's like trying to watch 3 TVs whilst writing an email. 
Having had it already happen will probably make it a trigger issue for you where you are expecting it to happen so it will. You could try turning your back on the rest of the group and focus on one or two partners? Or watch the whole group without playing and then play without watching?
Knowing that it's psychological rather than physical may help you overcome it. Good luck! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"Yes. Its all a bit strange.
I want to but I physically can't."
Ah, the other thing I forgot to mention!
After a while I started to "think outside of the box". I look at group play as just a nice gathering of friends or even a party where sex happens to take place! The main thing is that people have fun.
When I lose my erection, I use other parts of my body but stay involved instead of feeling down. Sometimes I'll stimulate parts of the lady that aren't directly involved in the action. When the lady gets turned on then...I too get turned on! I don't always feel like I need to penetrate to be part of the action. Even encouraging the others at the right moment can help set the scene sometimes.
I was once at a club where I helped to kick off an orgy. Apparently, everyone had a great time. I didn't actually have sex during the group play as I'd already had a 1 to 1 with a good friend an hour or so before. I'm not sure if anyone noticed my lack of erection during the orgy but I put a smile on a couple of women's faces!
Hopefully this shameless brag will give you some inspiration!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Viagra, from what little I know about it, isn’t a good idea. I’m told you can become dependent on it, and clearly you’re not in ‘need’, so it seems best avoided.
A multi person scenario can leave people rather uninvolved at times, especially a straight MFFF for example. It could be those moments when your game falls away a bit. So, echoing sentiments of other replies, perhaps those voyeur moments aren’t your cup of tea. "
Sorry to say that’s completely incorrect - there is zero clinical evidence for dependency with viagra - it gives a short lasting boost and is gone in a few hours
This is clearly a psychological issue rather than medical as performance is fine at other times
As such each time you’re back there the psychology works against you - hence the viagra suggestion is a sound one - you’d only need it once or twice and the cycle and psychology would be broken and you’d almost certainly not need it again after that - it really is a very common scenario |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I deeply appreciate your lovely detailed suggestions.
I'm going to think about trying to get hold of medical supplements and try them out.
I don't want this issue to kick in in other aspects of my sex life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ah the case of the ever decreasing circle. You worry you won’t get hard so brain says fuck you to your cock your not coming out to play tonight. Percy penis won’t rise to the occasion so you worry more and brain says fuck you again.
It is a hard cycle to break but there has been lots of good advice on here use whichever bit you feel comfortable with.
Me I would go for the little blue pill |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Stage fright! Is all it is by the sound of it and you're certainly not alone, it's a bit easier in a couple as Mrs can help fluff things up. You've already indicated that you don't wish to use supplements or stop doing groups so the only thing to do is work through it and keep at it until that setting becomes familiar. It's obviously not a physical issue, thankfully.
We can say with experience that even with supplements in abundance stage fright can happen. Just keep practicing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It is not at all uncommon so dont worry. I often get guys wanting to come to a group meet who then back out or come and find they cannot get hard.
It is stressful if you are not totally relaxed as there seems to be an expectation on Fab that all men are studs. They are not!!
At my meets we all have a coffee and chat beforehand. When we get down to it those that can do and i suck the others hard. I hear in other meets it is too serious.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
