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swinging and incontinence profile advise needed
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How hard can it be im clean shaved and take great pride in hygiene so why many knok backs, any advice on improving this prob any advice apperciated from all AND MOSTLY BE HONEST N BRUTAL im used to it its sll on my profile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've been here a year and had yet had 3 meets, not sure why you are whinging for? Your profile is fine but I suspect the girlfriend part is what is maybe putting people off, not many like cheaters and you haven't really explained whether you are still with your girlfriend after she found your profile on here. The fact that you cannot accommodate means people are drawing their own conclusions so are you with her still or not?
Other than that its fine  |
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Your penchant for a 'bit of gossip' is hardly likely to attract those who prefer discretion.
Have to say though, having 'anal' and 'nights out' listed as things you like certainly got my attention.
But not in a good way. |
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I think you seriously need to change your profile, girlfriend finding out - why put that on, waterworks definately would not put that on, thats for further discussion when arranging a meet, it seems like you are trying to put girls off ????? if you are not you are doing a dam good job about it, i would totally revise your profile, think seriously, look at a few others compose it on a piece of paper, then do your profile properly, GOOD luck x sue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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DON'T change your profile!
You're profile is off putting to me on so many levels, but I know you wouldn't be for me. Why waste time chatting to people, build up a rapport then tell them about your catheter and incontinence?
I believe a profile should reflect the person, allowing others to make an informed decision...yours does that has it stands. |
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I'm a bit bemused that you're actually having to ask this question to be honest 
The 2 things that stand out to me (in no particular order)
The Girlfriend. She caught you on here 14 months ago and obviously hasn't forgiven you (or wouldn't still be witholding sex) so why don't you man up and either stop cheating (because you're not swinging, your cheating) or finish it with her so you can swing? Decide what's more important to you.
Second is the incontinence thing. I'm being brutally honest here but I feel that's something a loving couple would deal with, but for no strings fun? Not for me thanks.
*Her* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How hard can it be im clean shaved and take great pride in hygiene so why many knok backs, any advice on improving this prob any advice apperciated from all AND MOSTLY BE HONEST N BRUTAL im used to it its sll on my profile "
How hard can it be for a cheating, incontinent cross dresser?
Hmm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a bit bemused that you're actually having to ask this question to be honest
The 2 things that stand out to me (in no particular order)
The Girlfriend. She caught you on here 14 months ago and obviously hasn't forgiven you (or wouldn't still be witholding sex) so why don't you man up and either stop cheating (because you're not swinging, your cheating) or finish it with her so you can swing? Decide what's more important to you.
Second is the incontinence thing. I'm being brutally honest here but I feel that's something a loving couple would deal with, but for no strings fun? Not for me thanks.
*Her* "
Sorry OP... but this post is something I 100% agree with ^^^^^^
The only bit I would like to add is... you got caught.... you kept your profile.... you use your girlfriend (and her not giving you sex) as an excuse to be on here... you couldn't give a flying hoot about her, you have zero respect for your partner.... we wouldn't even consider you just knowing this  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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All points taken...... I willl change profile ok so i cheat but im not going to change profile...yes i like fem undwrwear...why it just feels nice, incontinent, yes i cant change that, i wish i cud but how would u feel if u had that problem?? So im NOT PERFECT.. WHO HERE IS but as one poster said each to their own.. at the end of the day i like sex who doesnt. My gf foumd out ok but we still love each other, and yes im still cheating.. why who knows after sll i dont Ll i kno is i like the thrill WRONG.. yes but im still here .
Im saying that ill change my profile. ,( slightly) is that so bad!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are some very narrow minded and nasty people about IMO , Op you will find there is someone here for everyone you stay and enjoy x"
I agree...I used this site purely to fulfil my fantasies, therefore the OP wouldn't be for me but others will have differing criterias for meeting.
I think it's extremely out of order to tell someone they shouldn't be here and their verifications fake. What next? People with disabilities, obese, those with ginger hair and freckles? Should they look elsewhere too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm going to stick up for the OP. Lots of people enjoy cross dressing, he is being upfront about having a girlfriend (some on here aren't) and also about his waterworks problem which can't be easy for a young guy. Some or all of that will put some people off and to the OP-it will narrow down your choice of playmates-but it won't be a problem for others. I'd rather see a profile that is upfront than get get chatting or meet up and the conversation goes "there's something I ought to mention....." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are some very narrow minded and nasty people about IMO , Op you will find there is someone here for everyone you stay and enjoy x"
The OP hasn't done himself any favours regarding the 'harsh' comments by saying in his opening post "AND MOSTLY BE HONEST N BRUTAL im used to it" .....I'd be surprised if anyone disagrees with me on that 
I will add to this that I agree with Sassy... OP, don't change your profile. There are way too many misleading profiles on here. Informed decisions can be made at least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are some very narrow minded and nasty people about IMO , Op you will find there is someone here for everyone you stay and enjoy x
I agree...I used this site purely to fulfil my fantasies, therefore the OP wouldn't be for me but others will have differing criterias for meeting.
I think it's extremely out of order to tell someone they shouldn't be here and their verifications fake. What next? People with disabilities, obese, those with ginger hair and freckles? Should they look elsewhere too? "
Thank you Sassy thats what I wanted to say but didnt know how to put it into words, to early for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to stick up for the OP. Lots of people enjoy cross dressing, he is being upfront about having a girlfriend (some on here aren't) and also about his waterworks problem which can't be easy for a young guy. Some or all of that will put some people off and to the OP-it will narrow down your choice of playmates-but it won't be a problem for others. I'd rather see a profile that is upfront than get get chatting or meet up and the conversation goes "there's something I ought to mention....." "
Again someone more awake than me ,couldnt agree more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are some very narrow minded and nasty people about IMO , Op you will find there is someone here for everyone you stay and enjoy x
The OP hasn't done himself any favours regarding the 'harsh' comments by saying in his opening post "AND MOSTLY BE HONEST N BRUTAL im used to it" .....I'd be surprised if anyone disagrees with me on that
I will add to this that I agree with Sassy... OP, don't change your profile. There are way too many misleading profiles on here. Informed decisions can be made at least."
yep the be harsh bit maybe didnt do him any favours but there is being harsh and being just plan dam rude ,with you tho dont change profile at least he is being honest about everything |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yip i supoose my choice of words in the opening post wasnt the best but at the end of the day ive seen so many timewasters on here or im sure ud agree "slightly misleading" profiles i thought id like mine to be open an honest u get what it says on the tin so to speak but i guess its mayb a bit to honest for some maybe....? Who knows..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yip i supoose my choice of words in the opening post wasnt the best but at the end of the day ive seen so many timewasters on here or im sure ud agree "slightly misleading" profiles i thought id like mine to be open an honest u get what it says on the tin so to speak but i guess its mayb a bit to honest for some maybe....? Who knows....."
Honestly... it's honest and honesty is good.
....if that makes any sense!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yip i supoose my choice of words in the opening post wasnt the best but at the end of the day ive seen so many timewasters on here or im sure ud agree "slightly misleading" profiles i thought id like mine to be open an honest u get what it says on the tin so to speak but i guess its mayb a bit to honest for some maybe....? Who knows....."
I'm not being funny, but with your condition you have to be honest or it leads to embarrassment, annoyance and timewasting.
I met a man that had a Hickman line in...something he omitted to tell me after months of talking and dating. It didn't do his confidence any good when he saw the look on my face. Waiting until I was buck naked was not the way to go.  |
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"Yip i supoose my choice of words in the opening post wasnt the best but at the end of the day ive seen so many timewasters on here or im sure ud agree "slightly misleading" profiles i thought id like mine to be open an honest u get what it says on the tin so to speak but i guess its mayb a bit to honest for some maybe....? Who knows.....
I'm not being funny, but with your condition you have to be honest or it leads to embarrassment, annoyance and timewasting.
I met a man that had a Hickman line in...something he omitted to tell me after months of talking and dating. It didn't do his confidence any good when he saw the look on my face. Waiting until I was buck naked was not the way to go. "
i agree,i have a very good friend who has had a double mastectomy,and reconstruction,she makes usre potential meets know about the scarring.
Have posts been removed though,i dont see any saying the OP shouldnt be here,just many like mine pointing out that he is going to find it harder. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I dont think posts have been removed. Have they? It is harder for me to find meets tho. Altgough in saying that i think any "single guy" profile isnt easy at best of times, but i do have a close circle of friends it is most definately avout the quality of meets an not about quantity or feedback i think orrespective of what the profile says (or doesnt say) how do u kno untill u meet for a coffee etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont think posts have been removed. Have they? It is harder for me to find meets tho. Altgough in saying that i think any "single guy" profile isnt easy at best of times, but i do have a close circle of friends it is most definately avout the quality of meets an not about quantity or feedback i think orrespective of what the profile says (or doesnt say) how do u kno untill u meet for a coffee etc"
Sorry, I think you're being naive if you think omitting your medical condition until you meet for coffee won't make a difference.
As you've rightly surmised it's difficult for single men. Thereby it will be more difficult for you.
There is someone for everyone here, just be "honest". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes some posts have been removed and quite rightly so as they were out of order.
To the OP- keep your profile honest is my advice for the reasons sassy says. Good luck on here and happy swinging x |
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"I dont think posts have been removed. Have they? It is harder for me to find meets tho. Altgough in saying that i think any "single guy" profile isnt easy at best of times, but i do have a close circle of friends it is most definately avout the quality of meets an not about quantity or feedback i think orrespective of what the profile says (or doesnt say) how do u kno untill u meet for a coffee etc"
You say you have people who know you,good but you also have to accept that the meeting for coffee stage is harder for you to get to.
Ty for clearing up the posts thing |
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I'm a little late to this particular party but I can't see what's wrong??? The OP is being totally honest about himself, which is what most people here are constantly going on about, and still he gets hassle. Yes he said be brutally honest but that's nit the same as being rude.
We should encourage people to be as honest as the OP, this is partly what the lifestyle is all about. How can 'we', 'the condemned', always accusing the outside world of being so narrow minded, then go on to display the very traits we ourselves dislike?
We should accept and respect the thoughts and desires of others. Isn't that what we want for ourselves???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have to agree with the honesty thing, we got hatting with a couple, got on really well with them, met for a drink then back to their place, was only as we were getting naked they looked all shy and mentioned that she had had a breast augmentation and did not have any nipples.
Now this would not have been a problem if we had known beforehand, but to be honest it put a bit of a downer on the evening because of the shock factor.
Honesty is the way forward!! |
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I don't get it..single...has had meets...cheating on partner etc. Same old story. I would say you are doing ok considering. You aren't honest, you are a cheater. Some will mind, some won't. that's life! No point in wingeing. If your profile accurately reflects you then its doing the job adequately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the OP should stick with his honest profile. Yes no doubt it will be difficult to get meets but a lot of single guys are in the same boat. Supply and demand etc. So just stick with it and message who you like and hopefully you will have some fun with people who are interested in you.
Lots of nasty comments and innuendo about the OP's medical condition included. Stick up a post about diability and all those people would be posting on how it wouldnt bother them, how they embrace disability and diversity, yet they see it ok to make nasty remarks here. And why.... because the OP is cheating on his girlfriend, so that makes it OK to make fun of his medical condition because of that does it! |
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"I think the OP should stick with his honest profile. Yes no doubt it will be difficult to get meets but a lot of single guys are in the same boat. Supply and demand etc. So just stick with it and message who you like and hopefully you will have some fun with people who are interested in you.
Lots of nasty comments and innuendo about the OP's medical condition included. Stick up a post about diability and all those people would be posting on how it wouldnt bother them, how they embrace disability and diversity, yet they see it ok to make nasty remarks here. And why.... because the OP is cheating on his girlfriend, so that makes it OK to make fun of his medical condition because of that does it!"
Well said! I sometimes think there are people who will use any excuse to have a go. My feeling is that if people are 'allowed' to be open and honest, without being rude, then as adults we can form appropriate reactions to that.
I believe it's truly difficult to be too harsh with our moral judgements when we are seen as 'rule breakers' ourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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iconic1 has a point never thought of it as a disability before not that it makes much of a difference, i dont think of myself as disabled just inconvenienced......... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
very late to the party....
I think what a lot of people have said is they the OP seemed to think it was just that one detail that was THE issue... when in fact it was some of the other stuff that would put people off...
it is like when people don't think they are getting meets just because of Age, or Colour for example...
Did I find the Cheating on the partner and still being here bit distastful... yep, sure did!! Do I think that he should take that bit out... hell no!!! at least you know and have a feeling for a person....and that is likely to be a higher factor in making my decision in meeting people than the incontinance issue.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"your girlfriends on here too, thats why she hasnt had the need for any more sex from you 
plus she's sick of sleeping in the wet patch!"
I dont find that very funny at all and may just have lowered any chances you had on here IMO |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"your girlfriends on here too, thats why she hasnt had the need for any more sex from you
plus she's sick of sleeping in the wet patch!
I dont find that very funny at all and may just have lowered any chances you had on here IMO "
Totally unnecessary nasty comment I agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"who me or stockton im lost ive only tried to b honest some ppl mayb just dont like it im confused by the last few posts btw blackbolt ty "
Where's the confusion? We've quoted Stockton's post, not yours, so it's obviously aimed at him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't say you were disabled OP, I said 'if' you were then people would post that they embrace disability and it wouldn't be a factor in their choice, but because of your incontinence, and the personal issues you have mentioned on your profile, then it seems ok to make fun of a person who suffers a medical condition.
The continence issue may not be the entire / sole reason people are not playing with you,don't be naïve to think it isn't a factor and you really do believe that most posters on here are so understanding about disability or any other medical condition. Statements like that are sometimes made because it feels like the right answer. Your continence issue will be a high factor, so will the girlfriend issue and so will the fact that you're a single male and there are literally thousands of them to choose from |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Glad i have seen this post so we know to avoid this person, if you want to cheat, join be naughty or another sex site, not a swingers site,, your not swinging.
i dont care about your disability or your penchant for womens undies.. but treating your partner like that.. it destroys you as a person and it hurts them too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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same lesson new post my work collegues foumd out i work in an all mail enviroment we went for nite out i had my bag someone went in it when i wasnt looking nxt thing i kno contents r being scattered accross dance floor syringes cathere
ters and nappies / pads i am the butt of all jokes but they say there taking tthe piss haha ikes what di i do nx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats really childish of your work colleagues and they had no right to go snooping in your personal property. Tell then that the teasing has got to stop or you'll report them for bullying or just ignore it and hope they bored and pick on someone else. Big hugs. Ms |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suggest doing both of the following, but certainly the former
- tell both your boss and H R about your condition and what happened on the night out
- call a meeting for all of your colleages and explain, in detail, your medical condition. Most will be supportive. Ensure H R are present
The latter sends a signal that you have support of the company |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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nvr thought about that thanks will do in morning, why shud i be embarrased not as if i can help it lol prob not right place for post but got advice i needed thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesn't matter whether it's the right place or not as long as you get advice that helps. Good advice from propertiny and it does need reporting so it can be nipped in the bud. Good luck getting it sorted and let us know if you need any more pointers. Ms x |
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"Doesn't matter whether it's the right place or not as long as you get advice that helps. Good advice from propertiny and it does need reporting so it can be nipped in the bud. Good luck getting it sorted and let us know if you need any more pointers. Ms x"
Another thought from kev...who knows about this sort of thing... if the company fail to take the OP seriously they may be in breach of disability law.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good point from Kev -thanks jemima -and I was just thinking along similar lines. The OP could be covered by the disability discrimination act. Hard to say for sure without knowing the affect the condition has on his day to day activities. Worth claiming that it's comes under DDA and let them prove otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The DDAct is exactly why human Resources need to be involved
Even if its not they have a duty of care against bullying
So they should be involved
But of course - they need to know !!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thats the thing it doesnt really affect my day to day living apart from the inconvenience and needing 10 mins every so often to sort my self out i work in an industrial enviroment with bout 100 guys hence wantimg to keep it private.mmmm |
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