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A meet results in knocked confidence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So recently I have had a meet, I have had meets in the past which always seemed to go well. However the latest one I had wasn’t great. Just felt very flat, rushed and if I was there just to do a job like a workman. However it has knocked my confidence in a big way and left me doubting myself. Was i selfish? Did the person not find me attractive? Did I do something wrong? (And about a million other questions)
Just wondered if anyone else had found themselves in a similar situation and what they did to remedy the way they felt ?
I have tried to contact said member but too no response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't like rushed meets either so added to our profile...
"Prefer warmth in a meet, kissing, oral and so on, a meet without I find boring and cold."
Just don't let it knock your confidence, just be more upfront on your profile about what you like  |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Sometimes the chemistry is not there, or somebody's worried about other things, or has something going on that you are completely unaware of.
It might be nothing whatsoever to do with you.
Get back on that horse, and ride it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t worry about it.... this happens to everyone at some point.
It may not feel like it now... but one day this bad meet will become a funny story to tell your friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we've all had our confidence knocked along the way. Don't be hard on yourself and take a bit of time to lick your wounds.
You are obviously thinking about where it went wrong during the meet, all I can say is learn from it but don't dwell on it.
Good time's are on the horizon  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for everyone who has commented so far, suppose I should just get on with it and remember the meets that went well. And a little tweaking on my profile won’t hurt either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With every meet there is a chance it won't click. You try as much as you can to load the dice in favour of success by chatting, pictures, social but at the end if the day if once you are there the sexual chemistry is missing, well it just is. It is not your fault and it is not her fault, it is one of those things that happens now and then. No need to over analyse it, just put it down to experience and look forward to your next adventure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes the chemistry is not there, or somebody's worried about other things, or has something going on that you are completely unaware of.
It might be nothing whatsoever to do with you.
Get back on that horse, and ride it."
Very much this.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t worry about it.... this happens to everyone at some point.
It may not feel like it now... but one day this bad meet will become a funny story to tell your friends. "
Aww I love this. True though. |
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OP it happens, don't dwell on it.
I've had meets where it was fantastic on the first meet and we had a repeat that was just a bit meh. I've been seeing my FB regularly for 18 months and sometimes we have a meet that isn't as good as usual.
Not every meet will be a great experience so you need to put it behind you and move on. |
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When on here as a single guy had a meet, got to the house, and hubby let me in and showed me to the living room.
The wife was naked on the sofa with legs spread wide 
The fish smell hit me 6ft away 
She then said " get that cock up in me now" , as we're going out in 30 mins 
I turned round and left. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When on here as a single guy had a meet, got to the house, and hubby let me in and showed me to the living room.
The wife was naked on the sofa with legs spread wide
The fish smell hit me 6ft away
She then said " get that cock up in me now" , as we're going out in 30 mins
I turned round and left. "
This post reminds me of a old saying in America....
Smells like fish taste like chicken |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t let it knock you! Not everyone is going to click it’s just how it is. Would have been nice if she could have let you know but onwards and upwards!"
It is what happens....I normally (try to) arrange to meet socially first (though often it ends up as just meeting for fun, at their suggestion/request). At such socials I’ve been declined once.....though I’ve declined a few more times....
As the quoted post says....it’s just how it is.
I’ve also been to a few meets where the request was for “fuck and go” was that what was wanted in this case? |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
Try not to dwell, OP. Pretty sure we'll all experience such, we have. Guy was an idiot and had zero idea, oversight by us but put it down to experience. Sort out another meet you'll soon forget this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes the chemistry is not there, or somebody's worried about other things, or has something going on that you are completely unaware of.
It might be nothing whatsoever to do with you.
Get back on that horse, and ride it."
Exactly this.......all meets are experience in life, whether good, bad or mediocre. It's just part of life's journey. Get planning another meet with someone else and don't dwell on the past. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
This is one of the reasons I like to spend time getting to know people before suggesting/agreeing to meet them and ideally having an element of social first - there are no guarantees that there will be chemistry and connection in person of course, but by spending time messaging on here you can at least get a fair idea and at least establish that you're both looking for the same kind of meet.
That all said, sorry it happened to you OP - as others have said best thing you can do is try and put it behind you and move on |
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I have had some great meets but a couple i have come home feeling like an unpaid prostitute which isnt good. Im sure the problem isnt with you so just hold your head high and carry on forward. There are some selfish folk on here but they should never be allowed to spoil your Fab journey.x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So recently I have had a meet, I have had meets in the past which always seemed to go well. However the latest one I had wasn’t great. Just felt very flat, rushed and if I was there just to do a job like a workman. However it has knocked my confidence in a big way and left me doubting myself. Was i selfish? Did the person not find me attractive? Did I do something wrong? (And about a million other questions)
Just wondered if anyone else had found themselves in a similar situation and what they did to remedy the way they felt ?
I have tried to contact said member but too no response "
I had a meet that knocked my confidence..
just remember you can’t be compatible with Eveyone and you’ll have other good meets in the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So recently I have had a meet, I have had meets in the past which always seemed to go well. However the latest one I had wasn’t great. Just felt very flat, rushed and if I was there just to do a job like a workman. However it has knocked my confidence in a big way and left me doubting myself. Was i selfish? Did the person not find me attractive? Did I do something wrong? (And about a million other questions)
Just wondered if anyone else had found themselves in a similar situation and what they did to remedy the way they felt ?
I have tried to contact said member but too no response "
Ive had meets like that. It knocked my confidence but then i thought. Hey theres nothing wrong with me we just didn't click. Pick yourself up dust yourself off and start again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldnt worry.
I recently had 2 meets. One where he refused to fuck me but was happy to do everything else.
And another that fucked me and did nothing else and abandoned me in a hotel room.
I was upset and not feeling too good about myself.
Since had a few great meets. Those people were just arseholes. |
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"This is one of the reasons I opt for a social meet first."
Agree totally with this. It gives you a chance to gauge if there's any chemistry. Not totally failsafe but generally works well as a filter. |
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With some people it just doesn't work out. Nothing to do with you, or the other person, it just happens.
Confidence will definitely come back at some point, but best to leave this one behind you and not contact the person.
Onwards and upwards!!
Hope you're feeling better soon x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a bad meet experience last year. I really liked him and had met a few times for socials. When it came down to the sex, I didn’t particularly find his body attractive and it was over so quickly and was pretty rubbish. Then I was basically told I had to leave straight away. I cried when I got in the car and really regretted it. We’ve spoken loads since and he seemed happy with the meet and wants to meet again but I don’t want to but haven’t had the guts to tell him  |
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By *rkeb3Man
over a year ago
east Lancashire road |
"I had a bad meet experience last year. I really liked him and had met a few times for socials. When it came down to the sex, I didn’t particularly find his body attractive and it was over so quickly and was pretty rubbish. Then I was basically told I had to leave straight away. I cried when I got in the car and really regretted it. We’ve spoken loads since and he seemed happy with the meet and wants to meet again but I don’t want to but haven’t had the guts to tell him "
thanks for letting me know huni will always be ur freind skirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a bad meet experience last year. I really liked him and had met a few times for socials. When it came down to the sex, I didn’t particularly find his body attractive and it was over so quickly and was pretty rubbish. Then I was basically told I had to leave straight away. I cried when I got in the car and really regretted it. We’ve spoken loads since and he seemed happy with the meet and wants to meet again but I don’t want to but haven’t had the guts to tell him "
I had a similar experience with a man off another site. We had met for coffee twice and chatted for a couple of months. We started having sex, he lay on top of me for 5 mins doing nothing, then said "it's not working " then made it obvious he wanted me to leave, pretty much threw me out. He messages me if I rejoin that site asking to meet still! XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a bad meet experience last year. I really liked him and had met a few times for socials. When it came down to the sex, I didn’t particularly find his body attractive and it was over so quickly and was pretty rubbish. Then I was basically told I had to leave straight away. I cried when I got in the car and really regretted it. We’ve spoken loads since and he seemed happy with the meet and wants to meet again but I don’t want to but haven’t had the guts to tell him "
I forgot to add that I also felt my performance was rubbish, probably due to the fact I wasn’t attracted to him. Wasn’t all his fault it was equal I’d say xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a bad meet experience last year. I really liked him and had met a few times for socials. When it came down to the sex, I didn’t particularly find his body attractive and it was over so quickly and was pretty rubbish. Then I was basically told I had to leave straight away. I cried when I got in the car and really regretted it. We’ve spoken loads since and he seemed happy with the meet and wants to meet again but I don’t want to but haven’t had the guts to tell him
I had a similar experience with a man off another site. We had met for coffee twice and chatted for a couple of months. We started having sex, he lay on top of me for 5 mins doing nothing, then said "it's not working " then made it obvious he wanted me to leave, pretty much threw me out. He messages me if I rejoin that site asking to meet still! XXX"
Seems weird he’d say it’s not working then still want to meet! I said to the guy sorry it wasn’t good and he was like it was amazing!! Don’t know if he’s trying to make me feel better or he actually enjoyed it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a bad meet experience last year. I really liked him and had met a few times for socials. When it came down to the sex, I didn’t particularly find his body attractive and it was over so quickly and was pretty rubbish. Then I was basically told I had to leave straight away. I cried when I got in the car and really regretted it. We’ve spoken loads since and he seemed happy with the meet and wants to meet again but I don’t want to but haven’t had the guts to tell him thanks for letting me know huni will always be ur freind skirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr "
Interesting? You the guy lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always meet in public a drink coffee or meal before agreeing to meet for anything else tend to find more genuine people that way and see if you click if all’s well can talk about things you would like to do to each other on next meet maybe try this but don’t let this one meet knock you back private message me if need anymore advice x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had meets where I've thought..oh dear..but don't blame myself as it's just a question of compatibility.
Often with these meets the guy thought it was great and wants to meet again ..so keep in mind that just because you felt it wasnt brilliant,she may have! |
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It's perhaps little surprise the person hasn't replied, if they either got what they needed and realized there was something missing for you. Things can come at the wrong time, so it's not perhaps you or them, just a situational thing.
Focus on now and the future. Rebuild your self-esteem and confidence. Ensure you know what you need from meets and communicate well in advance, to help filter out what could knock you again. Rethink your expectations, to ensure realistic etc and possibly change other things you do, in case they aren't 100% in your best interests. Be here for the lighter fun aspects and ensure your wellbeing is looked after |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One meet I went to they were pissed he could not get up she took the huff with him. Starting a fight. I tried to leave she started to cry that I didn't like her. Not seen them on here since  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive had many failed meets with men who offer promises of lots of sex and orgasms. even entertained the idea of lots of oral because they say they LOVE to give it.
i explain to them that im far from pretty.
but it still happens one bloke drove 50 mins, stamina to go all night, he loves bbws, wanted to make me orgasm as much as he could.
he came got naked had me suck his cock, stuck a condom onbent me over few thrusts told me lie back few thrusts spunked and he got up took his clothes went bathroom and gone. wasnt even 15 mins.
had no intention of doing anything more than a hole
ive met too many men like it. some ive dragged out the getting to know you more and theyve made all that effort for 10 15 mins and then have the cheek to ask can they come again when they are gagging few months down the line, because theyve messed everyone else about too.
some men have lasted bit longer then its oh god i got to go look at the time. but hey hang on you said you had all night!!
so yeah confidence issues plummet. im left feeling like im only used as a free whore. no mutual playtime. when what i want is more than 1 offs. they plead and swear they want a fuck buddy or sexual companion.
then comes the verifications. they expect one but dont give one. some dont even show the verification. as if im an embarrassment to have been with. even when its socially.
but they still keep asking to meet up again.
forgive one time but 2nd time then im the fool really.
so moral of the story. you can be as strict in your process of meeting people, youll always find ones break through. best to move on to the next person and hope they are a decent human being, and one that is looking for the same thing as you |
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"It's perhaps little surprise the person hasn't replied, if they either got what they needed and realized there was something missing for you. Things can come at the wrong time, so it's not perhaps you or them, just a situational thing.
Focus on now and the future. Rebuild your self-esteem and confidence. Ensure you know what you need from meets and communicate well in advance, to help filter out what could knock you again. Rethink your expectations, to ensure realistic etc and possibly change other things you do, in case they aren't 100% in your best interests. Be here for the lighter fun aspects and ensure your wellbeing is looked after "
Oh so this...
Had our confidence knocked a while back, just after we had just met a gorgeous couple, and it took us a while to "get up" for wanting to meet anybody. The gorgeous couple are people we respect and we've had to put off meeting for a while, not for anything they've done but life stuff is in the way.
Thankfully, some of this is date dependent and will be passed soon and we've an evening arranged with another really special pair that we both adore and if any confidence issue arise (or not) from this evening, they aren't the type to judge us and block us. This will hopefully go to plan and we can finally get back in the saddle with the other couple we both had planned to hoo up with originally.
So hang in there OP, things aren't always what they seem, and even if they do resemble what you think, your time on here isn't dependent on a previous relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whatever the meet , no matter how bad or how good it was , it’s just nsa sex , so we don’t dwell on such trivialities ."
It’s just a bit of fun, don’t get hung up on it, for all the social meets, chatting before, flirting, all that means nothing when you play if you don’t click sexually and it’s no ones fault |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Socials, weeks of chatting and care to be honest about what you look like and expect are all filters, but sometimes people just slip through, or they’re having a bad time elsewhere and it spills over into a bad meet. Or the chemistry just doesn’t work. It’s almost like they just don’t *smell* sexy. It sounds like it was at least as much her issue as yours, don’t beat yourself up and look for the next sexy fun person. You look lovely! Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op I had a social other day and first words out her mouth was God your tiny ,then she said she didn't fancy me I wasn't ugly but not for her I took it in my stride and we had a nice chat and we are fab friends I just tell myself there's more fish in the sea and I'll find one that likes me for me and u should remember that too mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive had many failed meets with men who offer promises of lots of sex and orgasms. even entertained the idea of lots of oral because they say they LOVE to give it.
i explain to them that im far from pretty.
but it still happens one bloke drove 50 mins, stamina to go all night, he loves bbws, wanted to make me orgasm as much as he could.
he came got naked had me suck his cock, stuck a condom onbent me over few thrusts told me lie back few thrusts spunked and he got up took his clothes went bathroom and gone. wasnt even 15 mins.
had no intention of doing anything more than a hole
ive met too many men like it. some ive dragged out the getting to know you more and theyve made all that effort for 10 15 mins and then have the cheek to ask can they come again when they are gagging few months down the line, because theyve messed everyone else about too.
some men have lasted bit longer then its oh god i got to go look at the time. but hey hang on you said you had all night!!
so yeah confidence issues plummet. im left feeling like im only used as a free whore. no mutual playtime. when what i want is more than 1 offs. they plead and swear they want a fuck buddy or sexual companion.
then comes the verifications. they expect one but dont give one. some dont even show the verification. as if im an embarrassment to have been with. even when its socially.
but they still keep asking to meet up again.
forgive one time but 2nd time then im the fool really.
so moral of the story. you can be as strict in your process of meeting people, youll always find ones break through. best to move on to the next person and hope they are a decent human being, and one that is looking for the same thing as you "
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us....
It’s the same for single guys.... you meet a couple they love you. It was the best experience they ever had.. you’re number one. Then the first time you tell them no you can’t make it... boom.... they ask you “ do you have any friends available? “ or just get the next guy online... it doesn’t knock my confidence... I just hate to hear the bull shit.... |
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