FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > meeting my place or there's... safety etc
meeting my place or there's... safety etc
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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so confidence is building and alot of helpful advice out there.. but my concern is when guys say i can come to yours... I'm worried I'm going to get stalked or harassed as they'll know my home... and with my kids at home..it worries me. and then on the flip side... going to theirs... what if they are dodgy.. any tips |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
Personally for me if there's is children at home I wouldn't have any one in my house. It's just not safe. Arrange to go for a social in a public place first before you decide to go to anyone's house. If you do go , make sure someone you know has details of where you will be. If you're uncomfortable with that still , stick to hotel meets until you trust the person you're meeting  |
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"so confidence is building and alot of helpful advice out there.. but my concern is when guys say i can come to yours... I'm worried I'm going to get stalked or harassed as they'll know my home... and with my kids at home..it worries me. and then on the flip side... going to theirs... what if they are dodgy.. any tips"
It's entirely up to you but if we had young children at home we wouldn't even mention it on meet or hook up sites and definitely wouldn't meet at home. As a woman on your own I'd suggest hotels and ensure a friend knows where you are. Some have a system in place where they send a photo of the guys number plate to their mate and arrange for a check in phone call. No genuine man would object to that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I won't meet at home. My son lives here.
I always do socials first and then a hotel or theirs. I don't play until I establish a lot about them and until there is a connection anyway so by that point I usually trust them to go to their place. |
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"so confidence is building and alot of helpful advice out there.. but my concern is when guys say i can come to yours... I'm worried I'm going to get stalked or harassed as they'll know my home... and with my kids at home..it worries me. and then on the flip side... going to theirs... what if they are dodgy.. any tips"
Obviously it's your choice but I would say Don't meet with your kids at home and don't use your own house.
Go to a neutral venue like a hotel and have a social meet in a busy public place first |
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By *huckzMan
over a year ago
spalding |
"Personally for me if there's is children at home I wouldn't have any one in my house. It's just not safe. Arrange to go for a social in a public place first before you decide to go to anyone's house. If you do go , make sure someone you know has details of where you will be. If you're uncomfortable with that still , stick to hotel meets until you trust the person you're meeting "
....great advice |
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I would also say don't trust anybody. I know that sounds awful but I've heard too many bad things. If you do use hotels don't agree to walk into a room where the door has been left open for you and always scan the room from the doorway before you enter. |
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By *huckzMan
over a year ago
spalding |
"I would also say don't trust anybody. I know that sounds awful but I've heard too many bad things. If you do use hotels don't agree to walk into a room where the door has been left open for you and always scan the room from the doorway before you enter. "
more great advice.... she will be unlos in an hour lol
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Don't be pressurised into inviting any meet over op
Your safety and kids come first
I don't get why anyone would think it ok to invite themselves over to anyone's home 1st meet
A social 1st is good too,no pressure and you can get an idea of them.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t accom as children at home, I have a trusted friend who knows where I am and who with at all times, social before going to someone’s house or use a hotel or meet in a club which is what I’m gearing to more and more now purely due to being let down by the odd time waster. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would never meet at home with young kids in the house. Without going into details, I was abused as a child by a dodgy guy my mother brought home... never really recovered or forgiven her. I just don't understand why people would put their kids at risk like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely don't host a stranger in your home, regardless of wether your kids are home or not. You don't know which men are going to become a pain in the arse stalker or worse. I used to try to get an email address, which often shows their real name, then look for them on Facebook to check them out. I have gone to men's houses and only once felt unsafe. A social is probably a good idea for a newbie like you, if they want to meet they won't mind. Another pointer...if considering going to theirs ask if they live alone and not in a house share with other men.
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We never meet at home, it's a private place for us and our children.
I rember a story from here a few years ago.
A woman gets a knock at the door, a guy she had invited round for fun a year before, turned up on the off chance she was up for fun as he was in the area...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I wouldn't want anyone knowing where I live.
Meet for a social on neutral ground then if comfortable go to theirs or ideally a hotel.
Check in with a friend so they know where you are |
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"I would never meet at home with young kids in the house. Without going into details, I was abused as a child by a dodgy guy my mother brought home... never really recovered or forgiven her. I just don't understand why people would put their kids at risk like that. "
Sad but true, never ever ever invite someone back to your house if your kids are there. They should always come first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So it seems the majority are reluctant to accom.
Yet if a single fella says can't accom on his profile it is automatically a black mark against him.
Mad world of fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So it seems the majority are reluctant to accom.
Yet if a single fella says can't accom on his profile it is automatically a black mark against him.
Mad world of fab. "
There's a big difference between a woman looking out for her and her children's safety and a single guy's reasons for not accommodating. In my case it was because he wasn't single at all. But if there are genuine reasons then you can discuss that with your potential meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So it seems the majority are reluctant to accom.
Yet if a single fella says can't accom on his profile it is automatically a black mark against him.
Mad world of fab.
There's a big difference between a woman looking out for her and her children's safety and a single guy's reasons for not accommodating. In my case it was because he wasn't single at all. But if there are genuine reasons then you can discuss that with your potential meet"
Maybe a single fella can have the same reasons. He has his kids a few times a week etc. Not knocking anyone here but just giving my opinion having seen most posters say nobody comes to my house. |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Back in Gatwick! |
"Not a chance in hell that any man would come to my home !!!"
This.
I love the sense of entitlement some men have on here- that they can just pop round, stick it in, cum, leave. LOL. As if. I do not see absolutely anyone in my house. That is my rule. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so confidence is building and alot of helpful advice out there.. but my concern is when guys say i can come to yours... I'm worried I'm going to get stalked or harassed as they'll know my home... and with my kids at home..it worries me. and then on the flip side... going to theirs... what if they are dodgy.. any tips"
Hotels are dodgy too. Any one can hire a hotel room. No telling who will answer that door to you.
I never accomodate due to the reasons you've stated. Persinally I think it's wrong to invite strangers into your kids home.
Years back where i used to live and only when my kids were staying with relatives, i used to accommodate. Never again. I've had guys in the past turn up randomly on my doorstep and one of them let himself in, strolled down my hallway asking if I wanted him to make coffee!! By the way it was the kind of door that can be opened from both sides. I thunk its fair to say based upon strength, women are the weaker sex when compared to men. Your safety and your kids are more important so never accomodate.
I've been to the guys home a few times. Nothing dodgy happened. Go for a social with him so you can get a feel on what kind of person he is. Whether you feel comfortable around him. Ensure he looks like his pics too. You're the one travelling for the sex meet, so don't be afraid in insisting on a social coffee etc first.
Let your most trusted friend know his address and his face pic. Tell the guy you're meeting friends know exactly where You're going and who you're meeting. A decent guy will always understand and be happy you're taking care of you're own personal safety. If not, find another man plenty more on here!
Best of luck. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
When my kids were st school I would meet at mine but only with guys I’d met socially first. I can probably count on one hand the number that have been at mine in the years I’ve been on here.
If I’m doing a hotel meet, I usually do the booking so I have the keys and get in the room first. Can meet in the bar rather than going straight up to the room.
I have spoken to people who have had bad experiences so make sure someone knows where you are, keep your phone charged and handy.
Enjoy the experience and have fun. There’s some great fun to be had! |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I wouldn't have guys to mine. My kids are here, I'd be too paranoid that they were going to be a weirdo....and thats after a social.
I'm happy to go to someone's house if I've had a social and got a good feeling about them. However, I always clock where the knife rack is, you know just in case.
So, social first and trust your built in women's intuition |
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By *he witchWoman
over a year ago
somewhere over the rainbow in SW Devon |
I meet up for social first. Then if feel comfortable take it from there.
I have a buddy system. I tell who I'm meeting what's happening. Supply details to my friend until I'm comfortable.
Don't invite to your home with children there. Dodgy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Club every time.
I don’t mix vanilla and fab, and my safety is first. The idea of meeting a stranger at a hotel would fill me with dread; even after a social meet. At a club the owners know you are there and other people are around. There’s private rooms and if you’re ‘not feeling it’ its Much easier to say no thanks. There’s no worries about costs or being stood up - you can have a chat to others at the club.
Win win. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so confidence is building and alot of helpful advice out there.. but my concern is when guys say i can come to yours... I'm worried I'm going to get stalked or harassed as they'll know my home... and with my kids at home..it worries me. and then on the flip side... going to theirs... what if they are dodgy.. any tips"
Where did you meet the men who verified you on your account? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would never meet at home with young kids in the house. Without going into details, I was abused as a child by a dodgy guy my mother brought home... never really recovered or forgiven her. I just don't understand why people would put their kids at risk like that.
Sad but true, never ever ever invite someone back to your house if your kids are there. They should always come first."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a chance in hell that any man would come to my home !!!
This!!
Triple this."
She's met men somewhere as she's meet verified. Sadly she hasn't replied to a single post despite asking for advice. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
In the past I have had a guy turn up at my house whilst I was dishing up Sunday dinner to my kids. He couldn't find me on fab, didn't have my phone number, so just turned up at my house 6 or 8 months after a one off meet at my house.
I meet in club's now, where I feel 100% safe. After meeting someone several times, I might then take them to my house. I do not have kids living at home
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"Not a chance in hell that any man would come to my home !!!
This!!
Triple this.
She's met men somewhere as she's meet verified. Sadly she hasn't replied to a single post despite asking for advice. "
Maybe it's just a guy with a fem profile trying to find out who will let him into their homes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a chance in hell that any man would come to my home !!!
This!!
Triple this.
She's met men somewhere as she's meet verified. Sadly she hasn't replied to a single post despite asking for advice.
Maybe it's just a guy with a fem profile trying to find out who will let him into their homes "
hahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what if they are dodgy.. any tips"
Have a social meet with them first, for a coffee or something. That way you can check them out and see if you like them or not and if he gets a 2nd meet, you could split a a hotel. |
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"Not a chance in hell that any man would come to my home !!!
This!!
Triple this.
She's met men somewhere as she's meet verified. Sadly she hasn't replied to a single post despite asking for advice.
Maybe it's just a guy with a fem profile trying to find out who will let him into their homes
hahaha "
It's amazing the lengths some will go to to get a meet on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clubs, clubs and clubs- without a doubt either a neutral social or club meet first.
In my early days playing Ive put myself in situations where, with hindsight, it was a bit dodgy even as a guy who can run very fast and deal with things.
Not to scare anyone off lol but it’s a fact in a hot state it’s harder to say no than being totally cold.- hence the posts to come now when very horny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a chance in hell that any man would come to my home !!!
This!!
Triple this.
She's met men somewhere as she's meet verified. Sadly she hasn't replied to a single post despite asking for advice.
Maybe it's just a guy with a fem profile trying to find out who will let him into their homes
hahaha
It's amazing the lengths some will go to to get a meet on here "
funny. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As others have said please please do not let anyone, male or female go to your kid''s home, I'd even like about where you leave.
I have no other advice that hasn't been said except the last guy I met sent me a picture of his driving licence that I gave to someone should anything happen. They'd have his real name and address. He even suggested this and was willing to do anything that would make me feel safe, that's how I knew he was genuine. |
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