FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Do you tell future partners about swinging past???
Do you tell future partners about swinging past???
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"If you start a monogamous relationship,should you tell partner about previous lifestyle?? " Three possible scenarios, 1. Disgust. 2. Curiosity. 3. Accepts your past but not for her. With the first it may end your new relationship, the second could definitely enhance it and the third retains what you have. You have to make a judgement call on what it is you want, what her reaction is likely to be and the consequences. Keeping it a secret may be a difficult thing to do so honesty is probably the best policy from the outset. Good luck | |||
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"I will always be honest. Swinging has essentially moulded me as a person, and to deny that would be unfair. Also most of my friends I see on a regular basis are swingers. I know people from all over the country, I would have to explain to someone how I knew such a diverse range of people, and I could never deny my friends. I've had one relationship break down because I told him about swinging, he assumed that I would give it all up, the sex, the socials, the friends. Where if I did meet someone, I'd be able to give up the sex side of swinging, I'd never be able to stop seeing my friends, or stop the social side, because that is what attracted me to this scene in the first place. " I don't think you could have put it any better myself.... I have been in this exact situation! how soon do you tell them may well be the more interesting question, but I would always tell them.... | |||
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"i tend to not mention it at all, this is something i kinda do all private for myself, i dont tell no friends, only 1 friend knows about it who isnt part of this scene (lol he found my photo verification bit of paper with website and my user id on, and saw last visited websites when he loaded google crome on pc - thanks/how embarrassing lol!) i only come on here to play when im single, and at the same time im on a dating site trying to find someone to be with. when i do i never tell them about this. if they talk about things they done sexually before then if i feel they wont run a mile im up for telling them some of the things ive done. but main reason i dont really tell anyone about it is i dont want to go out with someone whos going to want to do all this as well. i'd rather just have normal relationship as i like that more. see if im doing it as a single or coupled up with another single lass then if i dont want to do it no more or not into what im being asked to do its very easy to stop and move on, if im going out with someone then i think it would just complicate it, and may only take 1 meet to ruin a good relationship ive been in couples on here plenty of times before and been out with people on here or sites like this, and i just cant get into going out them in the same way i can if i found someone to date the normal ways. so i dont really see the point of telling people what ive done unless i think they have done the same or would just accept it or be curious but not want to do it, as last thing i'd want to do is go out with someone then turn into swingers with them and maybe ruin something that would of been great had we not bothered swinging. " Interesting take on mutual respect there. Swingers aren't normal - nice... | |||
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"i tend to not mention it at all, this is something i kinda do all private for myself, i dont tell no friends, only 1 friend knows about it who isnt part of this scene (lol he found my photo verification bit of paper with website and my user id on, and saw last visited websites when he loaded google crome on pc - thanks/how embarrassing lol!) i only come on here to play when im single, and at the same time im on a dating site trying to find someone to be with. when i do i never tell them about this. if they talk about things they done sexually before then if i feel they wont run a mile im up for telling them some of the things ive done. but main reason i dont really tell anyone about it is i dont want to go out with someone whos going to want to do all this as well. i'd rather just have normal relationship as i like that more. see if im doing it as a single or coupled up with another single lass then if i dont want to do it no more or not into what im being asked to do its very easy to stop and move on, if im going out with someone then i think it would just complicate it, and may only take 1 meet to ruin a good relationship ive been in couples on here plenty of times before and been out with people on here or sites like this, and i just cant get into going out them in the same way i can if i found someone to date the normal ways. so i dont really see the point of telling people what ive done unless i think they have done the same or would just accept it or be curious but not want to do it, as last thing i'd want to do is go out with someone then turn into swingers with them and maybe ruin something that would of been great had we not bothered swinging. " AAaahhhhhh........... One of the "I'll fuck your wife for you" .......BUT....... "I'd never let anyone touch my woman" brigade. Nice to know that swinging women are there to be used by you. | |||
"i tend to not mention it at all, this is something i kinda do all private for myself, i dont tell no friends, only 1 friend knows about it who isnt part of this scene (lol he found my photo verification bit of paper with website and my user id on, and saw last visited websites when he loaded google crome on pc - thanks/how embarrassing lol!) i only come on here to play when im single, and at the same time im on a dating site trying to find someone to be with. when i do i never tell them about this. if they talk about things they done sexually before then if i feel they wont run a mile im up for telling them some of the things ive done. but main reason i dont really tell anyone about it is i dont want to go out with someone whos going to want to do all this as well. i'd rather just have normal relationship as i like that more. see if im doing it as a single or coupled up with another single lass then if i dont want to do it no more or not into what im being asked to do its very easy to stop and move on, if im going out with someone then i think it would just complicate it, and may only take 1 meet to ruin a good relationship ive been in couples on here plenty of times before and been out with people on here or sites like this, and i just cant get into going out them in the same way i can if i found someone to date the normal ways. so i dont really see the point of telling people what ive done unless i think they have done the same or would just accept it or be curious but not want to do it, as last thing i'd want to do is go out with someone then turn into swingers with them and maybe ruin something that would of been great had we not bothered swinging. AAaahhhhhh........... One of the "I'll fuck your wife for you" .......BUT....... "I'd never let anyone touch my woman" brigade. Nice to know that swinging women are there to be used by you. " lol im not really im not using anyone, everything on here is all mutural, most couples ive been with on my own have always been doing things for their own kicks rather than trying to please me, so if anything its the other way around, but i dont mind playing the part, hence its all mutural and not like i dont like anyone else to touch anyone im with, as ive swung with lasses ive been with on here plenty of times as I've had couple accounts on here and other sites as well, so i dont mind playing and swapping. but i dont think i would really see the benifit of going out with someone serious outside of the swinging world,, and then having a good relationship for the future (which is what i want so can start a family etc) then introducing swinging into the relationship, sure it might pay off, but chances are its going to cause a problem for most people, espiecially someone new who hasnt done it before, thats a hell of a wildcard to risk a good relationship on, all just for more excitement in the bedroom, which you can always create for yourselves 1 on 1 easily enough if you make the effort. i just value the other stuff in a long term relationship more than swinging, and swingings something i can easily pick up and put down when ever i want to. see i'd rather have the home, the girl and kids the full works, than risk it all for group sex. for me alot of what i do on here is just finding myself sexually, doing all the things i always wanted to do, and i've done almost all my fantasies and everything i always wished i could of done when i used to be 11 stone bigger (and used to get next to no attention lol - get your violins out lol) i guess i just go through stages personally, sometimes i just want to play and have the fun, others i could quite happily leave it all and settle with someone. i know its something thats always here for me, but ive no problem in shutting up shop and staying true with someone, and not bringing others into it, thats just how i'd rather build a family for me. plus i think if you were going to bring it into a relationship, surely you would do it after you been together years and years than early on, that way you know if your solid enough or not to cope with the extra demands it can create on the relationship so its not like i wont share and play with others, but if im with someone whos not a swinger then im not going to bring them into it incase it ruins everything, i might be male but i dont always think with my cock and balls  | |||
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"my opinion on this is what someone did before i met them has nothing to do with me, and visa versa, not telling someone about something that happened is not lying or being dis honest, unless they ask you questions that relate to the subject and you dont tell the truth in your replies if i ever got into a relationship with a guy i wouldnt ever tell him i was on sites like this, because i wouldnt want someone i cared about knowing i went to clubs, tried women and hand gang bangs etc this is a side of my life that i do because im single and i have noone else to worry about but me, if i got into a relationship i would stop at the drop of a hat for someone i cared about and i wouldnt want this side of my life coming with me if for whatever reason he said, have you ever been to a swinging club, not quite sure why he'd ask that but just an example lol i would be honest but i wouldnt bring the sunject up first everyone has their own views on this tho i just feel our lifes before we meet someone does not concern them and does not need to be told, and yes i feel the same the other way round, i wouldnt be upset if i found out something my partner did before i met them but they didnt tell me, because thats their buisness and i dont feel i have the rights to know the ins and outs of someones life because im with them " I pretty much agree with this. I find it odd that some find it necessary to spill all about your life, loves, and interests just because you're a couple or entering a relationship. Being honest is one thing but turning it into a confessional is another thing entirely. So the above comment fits in pretty nicely with how I see it too. | |||
