FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How best to avoid stalkers or unwanted attention
How best to avoid stalkers or unwanted attention
Jump to: Newest in thread
Dont meet anywhere near where you live, build in an "idiot" cushion of a couple of miles.
Dont meet for fun without a social meet first. Trust your gut instinct when you do.
Use disposable email addys via hotmail or similar.
Never give out facebook details.
Always send face pics that are innoccous, i.e. pics that show you clothed, no blackmail value in those as they could have got them anywhere.
Similarly, on your profile block faces, and tattoos or other distinguishing marks.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *obletonMan
over a year ago
THE STICKS |
Quite often when in conversation with a woman on here, particularly is she's one of the sharper cookies, she'll drop into the conversation that "she's not meeting just at the moment" - although I've found that quite often this doesn't always turn out to be true.
Now naturally this will often be due to the fact that I'm just such a goddammed charming and sexy bastard, but I'm convinced that sometimes this is just a test to see how I will react - to see if I'm the sort of bloke who will immediately chuck his toys out of the pram the moment the opportunity for instant gratification is deferred.
Perhaps more ladies might want to adopt that as a kind of congruity test |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i never tell anyone my address
i never give anyone my phone number
when i log off here noone from this side of my life can contact me that way i cant really get stalkers, people can annoy me as much as they like on here cause when i lof off they have gone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *obletonMan
over a year ago
THE STICKS |
"Ok hypothetical of course you have met them and they have your number etc and can,t take no for an answer, any more ideas"
turn up on their doorstep wearing a 14 inch strap on and demand they bend over |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Quite often when in conversation with a woman on here, particularly is she's one of the sharper cookies, she'll drop into the conversation that "she's not meeting just at the moment" - although I've found that quite often this doesn't always turn out to be true.
Now naturally this will often be due to the fact that I'm just such a goddammed charming and sexy bastard, but I'm convinced that sometimes this is just a test to see how I will react - to see if I'm the sort of bloke who will immediately chuck his toys out of the pram the moment the opportunity for instant gratification is deferred.
Perhaps more ladies might want to adopt that as a kind of congruity test"
.
This approach seems to work for me! 
Joking aside, I seldom give out my phone number without chatting to a potential playmate over MSN first.
If he comes across as being clingy/needy/possessive/whatever, I would block him to prevent further contact.
I guess I have been lucky not to have fallen prey to nutters/stalkers, however, I would like to believe it is down to me being very selective and give out some kind of vibes that I am not going to tolerate being messed with and am not going to be a victim.
;-) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If its a guy who is causing the hassle then being warned off by another male seems to work in a lot of cases. Being ignored until they get bored of not getting a reaction (this is what they feed on) is also effective. Another option is to report them to the police. Good luck getting rid of your stalker. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Ok hypothetical of course you have met them and they have your number etc and can,t take no for an answer, any more ideas"
Been there and had that! There's not much, apart from ignore, after telling them to stop contacting you etc...sometimes you just have to be harsh, unless of course it get's out of hand, at least I had some distance, so didn't become to much of a problem, but I know what you are going through  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Quite often when in conversation with a woman on here, particularly is she's one of the sharper cookies, she'll drop into the conversation that "she's not meeting just at the moment" - although I've found that quite often this doesn't always turn out to be true.
Now naturally this will often be due to the fact that I'm just such a goddammed charming and sexy bastard, but I'm convinced that sometimes this is just a test to see how I will react - to see if I'm the sort of bloke who will immediately chuck his toys out of the pram the moment the opportunity for instant gratification is deferred.
Perhaps more ladies might want to adopt that as a kind of congruity test
.
This approach seems to work for me!
"
Works for us too but then we are always dipping in and out of meeting.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Oh we neverget any problems as my man is 6'2' and 17 1/2 stone
Well let anybody try he would soon sort them out just subject came up in another thread today and caught my eye so thought i,would expand it futher and any advice is always good advice |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Oh we neverget any problems as my man is 6'2' and 17 1/2 stone
Well let anybody try he would soon sort them out just subject came up in another thread today and caught my eye so thought i,would expand it futher and any advice is always good advice"
Well all I can say from a single female perspective is, when your on your own, it's not all that easy, at least all I have had is unwanted phone calls, albeit 20 within 1/2 hour  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Yeah thats the reason i started the thread, as i was sure somebody might get a little help from it,"
Unfortunately, I've had unwanted attention once or twice and the adverse affect is it stops you meeting new people for a while.....well quite a while in my case, but it is all part in part I suppose and you need a thick skin at times, and I haven't even mentioned the abusive messages..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My text stalker was not getting the message and after two more this morning, decided enough was enough.
I have spent the afternoon looking at blacklist apps and sms template apps and decided to go with the blacklist app, which is free and his name is now on it. Only time will tell if it works. Thanks for the support and ideas. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *i_sSwingWoman
over a year ago
Any place 4 the right Person |
"Oh we neverget any problems as my man is 6'2' and 17 1/2 stone
Well let anybody try he would soon sort them out just subject came up in another thread today and caught my eye so thought i,would expand it futher and any advice is always good advice
Well all I can say from a single female perspective is, when your on your own, it's not all that easy, at least all I have had is unwanted phone calls, albeit 20 within 1/2 hour "
Thankyou for confirming that i am not being stalked I thought I was bad because I got 7 missed calls and 3 messages in about 6 hours after I exchanged emails with someone to say text or email to let me know when you will call so I can switch the naughty phone on. But I suppose he was just practicing compared to your stalker Phew. LOl |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Why do you think its funny to still feel stalked by someone who texts?
And unless you have been on the receiving end of being harassed by whatever means you clearly think this is a joke. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"Quite often when in conversation with a woman on here, particularly is she's one of the sharper cookies, she'll drop into the conversation that "she's not meeting just at the moment" - although I've found that quite often this doesn't always turn out to be true.
Now naturally this will often be due to the fact that I'm just such a goddammed charming and sexy bastard, but I'm convinced that sometimes this is just a test to see how I will react - to see if I'm the sort of bloke who will immediately chuck his toys out of the pram the moment the opportunity for instant gratification is deferred.
Perhaps more ladies might want to adopt that as a kind of congruity test"
Cheers for giving that away mate 
Works for me, plus the 14inch dildo test...
Damn two tactics exposed on one thread  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *i_sSwingWoman
over a year ago
Any place 4 the right Person |
"Why do you think its funny to still feel stalked by someone who texts?
And unless you have been on the receiving end of being harassed by whatever means you clearly think this is a joke. "
I'm assuming this is aimed at me but hey chick others have a little humour in their responses but it doesn't seem to be a problem.
I have been on the receiving end and everybody deals with it differently I guess humour is mine. But by no means do I think someone feeling fearful of an extreme degree of attention is funny. I suppose it made me feel that my latest bout was not as bad as some others so I suppose count myself lucky in that respect. Mi |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well the obvious don't put pics up, don't put much of a profile, but hey then all the fun goes too
Having been very nieve in the begining of going on the net 7 years ago
I still have people contact me out of the blue every so often and say do you still live at the same place can i come visit. In fact someone join here the other day and messaged me, He got told no, but is scary that a few people know where to find me.
For that reason i no longer give out no or address
Luckily i've never had the abuse some have had and used various tactics mostly ignoring works. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *i_sSwingWoman
over a year ago
Any place 4 the right Person |
"Well the obvious don't put pics up, don't put much of a profile, but hey then all the fun goes too
Having been very nieve in the begining of going on the net 7 years ago
I still have people contact me out of the blue every so often and say do you still live at the same place can i come visit. In fact someone join here the other day and messaged me, He got told no, but is scary that a few people know where to find me.
For that reason i no longer give out no or address
Luckily i've never had the abuse some have had and used various tactics mostly ignoring works."
I don't meet anyone at my home and give out a PAYG number which sort of puts me in control of when I want to shut off. Problem is it's a small world and at times can be an even smaller swinging community so I'm likely to run into blocked stalkers which sort of takes the control away. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *obletonMan
over a year ago
THE STICKS |
"Tell them you want a relationship ..........
works so much better than i'm just not interested"
you'd need to couch that one right tho - you might end up raising their hopes of shacking up with a swinger and make them even harder to shake off.
Make sure you let them know you will require at least 6 babies before you could even consider the idea of swinging again .... oh and you won't be lowering yourself to employment ever again either |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well the obvious don't put pics up, don't put much of a profile, but hey then all the fun goes too
Having been very nieve in the begining of going on the net 7 years ago
I still have people contact me out of the blue every so often and say do you still live at the same place can i come visit. In fact someone join here the other day and messaged me, He got told no, but is scary that a few people know where to find me.
For that reason i no longer give out no or address
Luckily i've never had the abuse some have had and used various tactics mostly ignoring works.
I don't meet anyone at my home and give out a PAYG number which sort of puts me in control of when I want to shut off. Problem is it's a small world and at times can be an even smaller swinging community so I'm likely to run into blocked stalkers which sort of takes the control away."
Its the risk you take, My ex hubby gave me a pay as you go shortly after i started, though it's good to change them as i've discovered.
Yes that is my worry as i have been followed round supermarkets then messaged from.
Reading some verifications you can tell it a small community |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tell them you want a relationship ..........
works so much better than i'm just not interested
you'd need to couch that one right tho - you might end up raising their hopes of shacking up with a swinger and make them even harder to shake off.
Make sure you let them know you will require at least 6 babies before you could even consider the idea of swinging again .... oh and you won't be lowering yourself to employment ever again either "
that is the general plot, but not to be used on everyone as you say some get there hopes up only to realise i'm a sarcastic bitch. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Create a play/swing email (Free)
Get a PAYG phone (£10)
Don't tell them your facebook details (Free)
Don't meet them for a play without meeting them socially (E.g. chat and a drink, neutral location) (£?)
Do ask them direct questions,
a, What do you expect from this site?
b, Why can't you accommodate (if applicable)?
c, Why are you on this site?
to mention a few.
I think we are all happy to be friends, but guess not a traditional relationship, but friends +
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
thought i could trust this guy ,he said he was married ,we chatted built trurt ,i invited him up we had some good sex ,then he would ask if he could come again i sad my familiy was in ,and bang its if he owend me abuse phonecalls 1 2 3 4 in the morning shit load of texs saying he was outside my house and a few times he was ,said he would only stop when i agreed to give him sex oral twice a week on a regular baisis ,i have blocked him on hear ,he seems to have stoped ,advice just dont invite anyone up till they invite you to theres |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Please feel free to post your tips and advice on how best to avoid " stalkers" or unwanted atention "
i've not been the same since someone hid my binoculars ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"thought i could trust this guy ,he said he was married ,we chatted built trurt ,i invited him up we had some good sex ,then he would ask if he could come again i sad my familiy was in ,and bang its if he owend me abuse phonecalls 1 2 3 4 in the morning shit load of texs saying he was outside my house and a few times he was ,said he would only stop when i agreed to give him sex oral twice a week on a regular baisis ,i have blocked him on hear ,he seems to have stoped
,advice just dont invite anyone up till they invite you to theres"
sounds a right charmer!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If like me one mobile phone does everything...if its an Andriod phone get yourself the "Call Blocker" App, at the first sign of anything iffy you can block calls and texts without any hassle. You can also limit selected calls, so if say you don't want your Swinging friends to contact you while you are at work you can set the app so that the caller is sent a message but the call its self doesn't disturb you. Happy to give more info if anyone needs it D x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If like me one mobile phone does everything...if its an Andriod phone get yourself the "Call Blocker" App, at the first sign of anything iffy you can block calls and texts without any hassle. You can also limit selected calls, so if say you don't want your Swinging friends to contact you while you are at work you can set the app so that the caller is sent a message but the call its self doesn't disturb you. Happy to give more info if anyone needs it D x"
selective ringtones help too...
Wolf
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I very rarely have my mobile ringer turned on. I prefer to text than phone so I can screen all calls and texts and choose to reply if I want to. Numbers not in my phonebook don't get replied to, however tempting. I also don't play at home.
Never had a stalker though. *crosses fingers* |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"thought i could trust this guy ,he said he was married ,we chatted built trurt ,i invited him up we had some good sex ,then he would ask if he could come again i sad my familiy was in ,and bang its if he owend me abuse phonecalls 1 2 3 4 in the morning shit load of texs saying he was outside my house and a few times he was ,said he would only stop when i agreed to give him sex oral twice a week on a regular baisis ,i have blocked him on hear ,he seems to have stoped
,advice just dont invite anyone up till they invite you to theres"
That's very worrying. I think we all need to be warned about blokes like that.
Thanks for all the advice, I tend to take people at face value and have had a couple of scary moments.
It does make you more wary though.....onwards and upwards!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"thought i could trust this guy ,he said he was married ,we chatted built trurt ,i invited him up we had some good sex ,then he would ask if he could come again i sad my familiy was in ,and bang its if he owend me abuse phonecalls 1 2 3 4 in the morning shit load of texs saying he was outside my house and a few times he was ,said he would only stop when i agreed to give him sex oral twice a week on a regular baisis ,i have blocked him on hear ,he seems to have stoped ,advice just dont invite anyone up till tthey invite you to theres"
You honestly thought you could trust a married man?!! Really?!!
I agree with you on one point though, I don't invite anyone to my home who won't invite me to theirs, no exceptions. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No phone numbers that you actually need to keep, no home address unless you are really really long term friends, play at a club, play a long way from your hometown, dont ever meet alone, look over your shoulder regularly, ring the SAS... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
