FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Starting the conversation right
Starting the conversation right
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been on and off fab a few times, always come back because I’m intrigued. Now as a single guy it’s hard anyway but trying to get a conversation is literally maybe 1/100, what is the best way to approach females/ cpls? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a weird place. Im always very polite and mention something in their profile or about their pics.
And just say if they would like to chat anytime drop by. If not good luck.
Results in less deletes but still not much comeback. Way i see it if they cant be bothered to speak just delete and move on.
No big deal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read their profile and go from there. Everyone will want something different as we're all individuals. "
This.
A message you send might appeal to one woman but not the other.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been on and off Fab for years. Based on my experience I would say
First of all, make sure your profile is good. A lot of women and couples have said before they open a message they read the senders profile. If the profile is shit the message is not getting read. Some people may say my profile is shit but at the moment I am not looking to meet. I am only looking to get to know erotically minded women and couples.
Don’t think this website is called ishaganybodywhoaskme.com or freefucks.com. The women on here are not free prostitutes. If you are in a city on business don’t think women will love to come to your hotel as a free prostitute. Show some respect.
Be prepared to wait many months or even over a year before you get a meet. Actually be prepared to never get a meet. Sometimes I have chatted with a woman or couple for months and spending time getting to know them before we have met. I may be a single guy but I have to like and desire anybody I meet. I also want the people I meet to like me and want to meet me. Spending time getting to know somebody lets me find out if I like them and if we are sexually compatible. It also gives them time to see if they like me and we are sexually compatible. If you get to know somebody online first before you meet them in real life you avoid the awkward silences as you have already gotten to know each other online. Getting to know people online takes pressure off. You are just people getting to know each other. It may or may not lead to meet.
Remember you are one thousands of single guys on Fab. The women and couples have a lot of choice when it comes to single guys. Try to make yourself stand out from the thousands of single guys on here.
Don’t assume a guy is cuck because he likes seeing his wife with other men. By far the most common male fantasy is watching their partner being fucked.
Show respect to the women or couples. The may be on a swingers website but that doesn’t mean they will shag anybody who asks. Spend time getting to know them. Respect and humour will go a long way to getting you a meet.
If you email a couple show respect to the male half. Talk to them both. Get to know both of them. Don’t just talk to the woman and don’t assume it is the female half of the couple online. If you meet them they are allowing you into their relationship. Never try and ask the female of half of a couple to meet you alone without their partner. It shows a lack of respect for both of them. After saying that I know some women from couples do meet alone. If they do they will say so on their profile. Even if the woman does meet alone still show some respect to her partner and get to know him as well.
If you start seeing a couple regularly don’t blow it by asking her to meet you behind her partners back without his knowledge. Show him and her some respect.
Respect what people are and are not into sexually. If a woman says no arse play and you get to meet her then respect that. Spending time getting to know the woman or couple online before you meet them will help you find out their sexual like or dislikes. Knowing their sexual likes and dislikes means you can concentrate on doing things they like and not upset them by doing things they don’t like.
Just because this is swingers website it doesn’t mean you cannot woo a woman or couple. Entice them, make them feel sexy, make them desired and wanted, make them laugh, and give them reasons to want to meet you over the thousands of other single guys. We all love to feel desired and wanted. Some women on Fab are looking for a relationship. They just want to meet a guy who likes sex. It’s easier for a woman to find a guy who likes sex on a swinger’s website than it is on normal vanilla dating website. If a woman tells a guy on here she likes being gangbanged he will probably (not always) be ok with that. If she tells a guy from a vanilla dating website she likes being gangbanged he may like that or he may think you she is cheap slut with lots of sexual diseases and run a mile. Women are not sluts because they like sex. It’s much easier for a woman on Fab to find a guy who likes doing things sexually that she does than on a vanilla website. There is nothing wrong with looking for somebody who likes the same things sexually as you. In fact for obvious reasons you should look for people who like the same things as you sexually. Fab allows women to do that.
Just because a woman on here wants a relationship don’t assume she wants a swinging relationship. Some women are looking for a swinging partner and some are not. I know a woman on Fab looking for a relationship. She told me if she started dating somebody from here she would be upset if he wanted to swing. She said she would feel like she is not good enough for him and wonder why he wants to swing. She wants a future partner to only want her. She is here to find a sexual partner not to swing. I get that.
Never send a dick pic unless asked for one. Women and especially men know what a dick looks like as they have a dick themselves. Your dick is nothing special even if it is big. There are plenty of men on here with big cocks. In a way each cock is unique and special. That still doesn’t mean women and couples want you to send them a picture of yours. Of course some do want a dick pic. Some women want to see what they are potentially getting. They will state that in their profile if they want a dick pic. If the profile doesn’t say send a dick pic with your message then don’t send one. If a woman only wants big cocks don’t get upset or sulk because you don’t have one. Look for women or couples who are not only looking for big cocks.
Speaking of profiles read them. Read them properly. Don’t just masturbate over their profile pictures if they have any.
Don’t initiate sex chat. You come across as a timewaster looking to have a quick masturbation session. Once you have cum you are gone. If the male half of a couple asks you to describe what you would do to his wife he is probably masturbating. As soon as he cums he is gone and you are never getting a meet. His wife probably doesn’t know he set up a couples profile on Fab.
If you think saying things like you love to lick pussy for hours is going to get you a meet you are wrong. People are not stupid. Most people know what you are up to when you say bullshit like that. Also most women would get bored after a while. I doubt many or if any women are looking to have their pussy licked for hours.
If you do get a meet don’t be selfish sexually. The woman also wants to be pleasured and enjoy it. Being selfish sexually will not get you a repeat meet. Don’t say you love giving oral sex then go down on her for a minute or two. You show yourself up as a liar. Think of her pleasure as well as yours.
Only email women and couples who you are a fit to what they are looking for. Don't be a chancer. If a woman says she is looking for a 6 foot man with a 10 inch cock don't think well I am five foot 8 and have a 7 inch cock so I will email you. If a woman or couple says local people only don't think well I can book a local hotel and then email them. If you email people whose criteria you don't fit then don't be surprised when you get ignored or blocked. Just because you meet a woman’s or couples criteria don’t expect a reply to your email or expect a meet.
Tailor your email message to the woman or couples profile. Don’t have a standard message you copy and paste to everybody.
Remember now matter how good your message is some people with think it’s good, some will think it’s ok, and some will think it’s shit. There is no magic message you can send out that everybody will love. We are all unique individuals with all unique likes and dislikes.
Use humour in your email and profile. Everyone likes to laugh. When you email a woman or couple talk about what you like about them or what you liked about their profile. Show them you have actually read and understood their profile.
Don’t use text speak in your email. Write proper sentences and use something like grammarly or Microsoft Word to check your spelling and grammar.
Never send out one line emails saying things like wanna fuck?, meet now?, I will ruin you, etc. It shows a lack of respect to the woman or couple you emailed. It shows you are a disrespectful chancer.
Never show how stupid you are by emailing a woman saying how sexy she is when she has no profile pictures up. It shows you have clearly not read her profile.
Just because you think you meet somebody’s criteria don’t expect a reply you email. If you get don’t get a reply take it as a thanks for emailing but no thanks, I don’t want to meet you. They are NOT being rude if they don’t reply.
If you get a reply that says thanks but no thanks accept it. Don’t reply asking why not, or reply with I fit all your criteria so why not? Accept the thanks but no thanks. Don’t become an arsehole and reply with something stupid and childish like I didn’t want to shag you any way you ugly cow or fuck of fatty I only emailed you for laugh. You did want to shag them. You are a liar. Your ego is hurt. Don’t let your bruised ego let you become a nasty arsehole. Everyone gets rejected sometimes.
If you do get a reply don’t expect it is going to lead to a meet.
If woman or couple asks for a face pic and then blocks you don’t take it to heart. Nobody is fancied by everybody. We all have people we do and don’t fancy. The women and couples have probably had nasty messages in the past when saying no to somebody or they have had the why not messages. They don’t know if you are going to get nasty or send a why not email. Don’t get upset because they blocked you. They don’t want to meet you. Just accept that. By them blocking you it means you can never accidently email them again a few months or years later.
If you get a reply don’t blow it. Take your time getting to know the woman or couple. Show interest in them and show them you are not just another chancer looking for another notch on the bedpost. Never initiate sex chat unless asked to.
If you think if you send a woman an email describing what you would like to do her it will get her turned on and wanting to meet you then you are wrong. More than likely it will just get you ignored or blocked. Women who want dirty messages/emails will say so in their profile text. If the profile doesn’t ask for sex chat/dirty/erotic emails then don’t send one. Some women do like dirty emails, erotic stories, etc. Some women are very visual and get very turned on by erotic emails and stories. However, 99.9% of them who do like sex chat prefer to get to know you first. You may think your sexy email is great but the woman may get really turned off. You don’t know her sexual likes and dislikes. You may send an email describing how you would tongue her pussy. You may have emailed a woman who is not that fussed about receiving oral sex. A lot of women on here who do like sex/cyber chat say they only like with doing it with somebody they have gotten to know well online or have met in real life for meet.
Take time getting to know people. Use the forums as a way to get to know people and to show off your personality.
Use the chat rooms to get to know people and show off your personality. Don’t be one of the crass guys asking women or couples to do things on cam for you. If they are on cam just enjoy watching them and let them do what they want to do. Treat women and couples with respect. Don’t just talk about sex because you are in a sex chat room. As a single male expect to get blocked lots of times by people in chat. A lot of single guys block other single guys to stop them watching them masturbating on cam. As I am straight I never watch guys masturbating on cockovision. A lot of couples who don’t want to meet single guys block single guys in chat to stop them being able to watch their web cam. If somebody blocks you then you can no longer view their web cam or read what they type in chat. They can also no longer see what you type in chat or view your cam. You will you sometimes know somebody has blocked in chat by what is said in chat. For example people in chat may keep on referring to certain a couple or woman. When you read the text chat you can’t see the said couple or woman typing anything in the chat room. If you look for them in the list of people in the room and click on their profile you will see they have blocked you and that is why you can’t see their web cam or what they type in the chat room.
Speaking of blocking don’t take it to heart. If for example you live in Exeter and some couple in Dundee who you have never spoke to block you then why get upset? You have been blocked by two strangers who live miles away and who you would probably never have tried to contact anyway. If you are talking to someone via email and then suddenly get blocked don’t take it to heart. It happens. It may have been something you said or it may have been a man posing as a couple or woman. You will never know why you have been blocked so don’t waste time wondering why. However, if your last email said I would love to fuck your arse and you get blocked then you should consider that as a possible reason for being blocked lol. Consider what you say in your emails to people.
If you are in chat don’t get somebody else to ask the couple or woman why they have blocked you. Don’t ask anybody to ask the couple or woman to unblock you. They blocked you for a reason. Just accept it. You are not being childish by blocking them also.
Only tell women and couples what you would like to do with them if they ask you to.
Never turn up for a meet d*unk or on drugs. Well maybe Viagra is ok lol. Then again some women and couples state on their profile they don’t want to meet guys on Viagra. Again read the profile properly and don’t just look at the pictures.
Always turn up for a meet freshly showered and shaved. Put some deodorant and aftershave on. Brush your teeth. Wear clean clothes and underwear. Some women and couples have said some single guys have turned up stinking and they have had to tell them to leave. One couple once said a single guy turned up with a cheesy dick and it stank. He was of course asked to leave. Show some respect. If you have driven a long way to meet somebody and have become a little stale don’t be afraid to ask if you can have a quick shower. I would hope most people would respect you for wanting to be clean for them.
Unless the woman asks you if you want her to wear anything special for the meet don’t ask or tell her what you want her to wear. She is not a performing seal ready do as you wish. If she asks you what you want her to wear be a gentleman and say I want you to wear whatever you feel comfortable and sexy in. Surprise me.
Lastly never type a reply to a forum message when d*unk like I am lol.
In the past it has been my sense of humour that has got me talking to women and couples on Fab. It has been my sincerity, sense of humour and me respect for people on here that has gotten me meets. Respect and a good sense of humour goes a long way to getting you meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on and off fab a few times, always come back because I’m intrigued. Now as a single guy it’s hard anyway but trying to get a conversation is literally maybe 1/100, what is the best way to approach females/ cpls?"
I always start with hi maam unless it's a couple then hi sir, then I go on to say nice weather for this time of year, it's been great we go some rain for the grass and s, then I say night coz they've fell asleep by that time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on and off fab a few times, always come back because I’m intrigued. Now as a single guy it’s hard anyway but trying to get a conversation is literally maybe 1/100, what is the best way to approach females/ cpls?I always start with hi maam unless it's a couple then hi sir, then I go on to say nice weather for this time of year, it's been great we go some rain for the grass and s, then I say night coz they've fell asleep by that time "
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