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By *ust OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
Im in a long term relationship and we have recently dipped our toes into swinging and both very much enjoy it though he isn't keen on me being with other men. He's allowing it so far as it gains him access to other women and so far I'm fine with this...just looking further down the line I would love to play with other men alone, I've no problem if he does the same. It just seems so far away from his current mindset I'm getting frustrated so wondering if he will ever change?? Hoping exposure to other couples with more open relationships wil help him realise how strong they can be then I lose hope and think we'll never get there. Anyone any experience of someone changing in this way?? Or is that the way he's wired: end of, sharing will never be something he's comfortable with? |
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Could you ever have imagined at the beginning of your relationship that you would even be dipping your toe in?
Hopefully that is a sign that change is in the air, give him a little time to get his head around sharing you. Afterall if it gives hime access to his desires it's not such a big leap....gooduck I hope that you both figure it out.
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It sounds like at this point, your partner is "allowing" you to enjoy something because it gets him what he wants - in other words, his agreement is not about doing something nice for you so that you get to enjoy sex elsewhere, but rather the price he currently is willing to pay for his own wants. If he gets bored with what he is getting elsewhere, he may well ask you to stop. Trust, control, and perhaps fear of losing you may all be factoring in here.
Are you saying that he plays alone with other women but doesn't want you to play alone with other men? Or is it all couples-couples to date?
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By *ust OP Woman
over a year ago
Dublin |
Just couples to couples so far (he gave up on the unicorn lol). He won't play alone, I've told him he could but he said no. And thanks so much too, already feel a weight lifting... |
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Hmm. Ok.
I tried 3 times to write this out and it'll just end up massively long.
Based on my own personal experiences, the circumstances we've gone through during our 23 years together and our on / off dabbling with swinging...
Sometimes it takes time and change is possible but don't count on it.
Took us a looooong time to get to it but I like sharing her now just as she has always liked sharing me with other women and have no hang ups about it. |
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