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new relationship
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Ok so I've been happily single for about 4 years but have recently started dating this really nice guy. its nothing serious and its official yet so im still free for play as i wish as we haven't got to that stage yet.
I was just wondering if any of you guys have been in this situation and wondered how long you waited till you started to talk about swinging as i don't want to stop, although i think he would be worth it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would have already told any man that I was how I am.... Because I would hate to pretend to be who I am not.
I am free now to play pretty much as I like ( within a few conditions) and yet my Master is the one man I could be totally faithful in the conventional sense too.. 
Hope that makes sense.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is all about you and how you feel you may be suprised and he may think wow a woman who loves lots of things. Test the water with him see what his reaction is and if it is in the negative you know what sort of response you are likely to get. At the end of the day if it don't work out you can always come back to your little family of swingers..... good Luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best to be honest and upfront from day one with him my advice, I am in the market to find a girlfriend ideal world from this site, though winning the lottery seems more likely. I met a lovely lady off POF some 8 months ago, and dated got on great but my life is swinging when I finally mentioned it I was subsiquently dumped and dubbed a pervo. I couldnt leave the scene have many friends I enjoy hooking up with and prefer to share a fun lifestyle. If you are in love simples, walk away from this or talk now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think I'd be careful how I brought it up. He may be up for it. But if he's not, he might tell all his mate's about you. I'd hate people knowing what I get up to!  |
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Bearing in mind a lot of men like to think that women are all virgins or have never had good sex until they met them telling him from the offset might get a bad reaction especially if he doesn't know a lot about the scene and assumes the stereotype view.
My advice would be to decide whether you can give up swinging even temporarily to pursue love and then approach the subject (but not your experience) at a later date when your relationship has matured and guage his reaction if positive then mention you had a few experiences years ago if negative drop the subject and continue in your hopefully mutual loving relationship besides if it doesn't work out with him your swinging friends will still be here.
On the otherhand if swinging is that important of an aspect of your life and you can't give up temporarily or permanantly then be open and honest with him before your both to emotionally attached and if he not game then he obviously not for you saves inevitable heartache in the long run.
To sum it up you need to decide how important swinging is to you and would you be truely happy in a loving but monogamous relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Told my new guy straight away as I didn't want to keep anything from him from the outset, and he was open minded enough to come on the site to see what it was all about.
We don't know yet what we want as a couple...but if Fabs is not for him/us, then I'll leave.
Way I see it is that Fab will always be here for fun in whatever form...but I'd hate to lose out on what could potentially be something quite special for the sake of a few nsa shags  |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Well the reason we got into swinging and ended up on here was the guy I was seeing suggested a 3sum but the fem he knew couldn't do it. We had discussed from the start things we had done or would like to do but this was about 2 months later and I was already on here. So told him about this and we set up a couple profile, rest as they say is history. Still together 5 months down the line and having fun.
Talk about your fantasies and see how it goes. Good Luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My opinion is if you like this guy and want to carry on swinging tell him as soon as possible, the longer you leave it the harder it will be and after a while he may see you keeping it from him as lying to him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure, last time I was starting to date someone, I felt too I couldn't hide it from him, and although the idea of a 3some or parties was very much exciting for him, I could see straight after my revelation that he was not serious abt us as he was before..leaving me very hurt....next time I feel like wanting to start a relationship again(!), I will wait until the relationship is more established and introduce it another way as men have double standards unfortunately and swinging for me is not something I really need when together with someone, just a nice add on, a way to fulfil more fantasies... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yeah there is a chance it does turn your relationship early on from being something about love to now just being about sex
its not easy for someone new to just get dragged into it and be able to deal with it like someone whos been doing it for a few years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you wish to have him and still swing you need to get this out in the open ... if he thinks your all his and your not shagging others could spit you up if not happy . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My gf actually brought it up on our first vanilla date. We'd chatted on the phone and exchanged loads of messages before we met and were really open with each other about all aspects of our lives. When we did meet the conversation turned to sex and she said she'd like to go to a swingers club. Not neccessarily to play but to have a look as she is intrigued by it. I then told her I was on here and showed her my profile. Lets just the say the end of the date went with a bang.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Best to be honest and upfront from day one with him my advice, I am in the market to find a girlfriend ideal world from this site, though winning the lottery seems more likely. I met a lovely lady off POF some 8 months ago, and dated got on great but my life is swinging when I finally mentioned it I was subsiquently dumped and dubbed a pervo. I couldnt leave the scene have many friends I enjoy hooking up with and prefer to share a fun lifestyle. If you are in love simples, walk away from this or talk now "
WOW...Im gobsmacked, someone who has actually managed to get a bloody date off POF  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so I've been happily single for about 4 years but have recently started dating this really nice guy. its nothing serious and its official yet so im still free for play as i wish as we haven't got to that stage yet.
"
By that I take it you mean you haven't slept with him yet then so you deem it totally acceptable to shag whoever you still want until you make it serious by shagging the new guy ? ??? Or have you both agreed that it dosent matter if either of you do shag around while you date each other? ??
If it's the first one then you're simply cheating on him and would have been berrated by most people on here if you were a Guy.
 |
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No I've not slept with him but i also haven't slept with anyone else so that isn't my point
my point was to get advice on when if at all to mention this part of my life. and i wouldn't say anything to a guy for sleeping with a woman if they weren't in a committed relationship as technically there both still single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I've not slept with him but i also haven't slept with anyone else so that isn't my point
my point was to get advice on when if at all to mention this part of my life. and i wouldn't say anything to a guy for sleeping with a woman if they weren't in a committed relationship as technically there both still single "
But if they are dating someone like yourself where do you draw the line as to when it becomes cheating by meeting others for sex?
I think you need to find out what he wants from you, either just friends or relationship and then tell him straight about what you like doing and see what response you get and take it from there.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you don't want to give up swinging ideally you'd need to find someone to either swing with you or be happy for you to do it without him. Not telling him is a bit mean really as it's cheating.
However I don't envy you having to decide what to do. I'd be scared to tell anyone new in case they went and blabbed to all my friends.
Think I'd mention swinging in passing and see what his reaction was before I said anything directly. Good luck!! xx |
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Well that's why im scared to tell him incase he does tell everyone but i wouldn't meet anyone until I've told him and he's happy for me too so if i have to give up swinging for a real relationship then that's what ill do. swinging isn't the be all and end all its just good fun |
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Well one week on and we officially as of this evening became a couple so for now I've decided i won't be meeting anyone for swinging. if our relationship gets to that point i may mention it if looks like could be a good reaction other wise ill see how all goes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well one week on and we officially as of this evening became a couple so for now I've decided i won't be meeting anyone for swinging. if our relationship gets to that point i may mention it if looks like could be a good reaction other wise ill see how all goes x "
well think thats lovely x x You get to know each other and trust and maybe love x And for alot of people one,, the right one is all thay need . xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well one week on and we officially as of this evening became a couple so for now I've decided i won't be meeting anyone for swinging. if our relationship gets to that point i may mention it if looks like could be a good reaction other wise ill see how all goes x well think thats lovely x x You get to know each other and trust and maybe love x And for alot of people one,, the right one is all thay need . xx "
 awww good luck!! |
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Love is worth far more than sex. When you feel the time is right, tell him. If he doesn't like the idea of it then it's your choice which path to take. Personally, it isn't even a decision for me. Love trumps all (Yeah, i'm a soppy git and proud! hehe) |
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By * starr -Woman
over a year ago
Burton on Trent. |
let him see your profile if you talk to him and he seems ok with it.
otherwise, test the water first and if he doesnt seem interested then dont say no more.
id love to find love with a partner who swings too.you can still have fun if the other is ill/not feeling well/menstruating etc etc.
i would want to know about the meets though as if not i would consider it cheating.
just talk, only way forward.xx |
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"let him see your profile if you talk to him and he seems ok with it.
otherwise, test the water first and if he doesnt seem interested then dont say no more.
id love to find love with a partner who swings too.you can still have fun if the other is ill/not feeling well/menstruating etc etc.
i would want to know about the meets though as if not i would consider it cheating.
just talk, only way forward.xx "
I was going to suggest something similar to this. At the very least, even if you don't show him your profile, I'd show him this site and say that when you were alone you'd brose or chat with people on here, see where it goes from there, you'll soon know from how he reacts if you will want to tell all and indeed whether he may want to take part. Good luck anyway |
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Hello.
You could have just met the man of your dreams that will love and care for you forever.
If you spill the beans you could lose everything.
Go out with him for 6 months and see how things go,im sure you will no by then if hes a keeper or a binner
Sometimes in life you cant have the best of both worlds
Lifes a bitch init
Best wishes |
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recently in2 new relationship so won't b meeting 4 time being at least
Woman in manchester, North West, UK
... "im horny as hell and its driving me mad!!!". 11 hours ago
Got to admit Sky, this made me smile when I checked your profile out after reading this thread.
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