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Cheated on
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I’m not sure if this is the correct forum section but il ask and somebody can let me know
So have you ever been cheated on I know this is fab I’m not talking about ones you set up or agreed too
I’m talking you didn’t know and what was your reaction ?
I have a morbid fascination to find out people’s reactions and what was the end result  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, she was the love of my life at the time...
But I have to admit, I was very arrogant and basically wanted her to live in my shadow.....
Eventually all the material gains she had gotten wasn’t enough and she wanted love plus a family.....
So she fell in love with a creative guy and I had to deal with failure for the first time in my life...
She left and even took the dog.....
I spent 1 year basically just going to work , the gym then sitting in my apartment all weekend.
I then spent the next year traveling to 15 countries solo...
I got my mojo back and became a better person.....
Then she comes back very stalkerish to the point I had to get a restraining order against her...
It’s funny but since this experience, I can’t give someone my heart 100%.... I think the most love a woman can get from me is about 60%...
I don’t think I could mentally go through that again... so I will always keep myself protected... |
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By *iReyWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire East |
Yep! Found out my ex fiance had cheated on me multiple times over the 10 years we were together. He left first then I found out later on. Destroyed me because I'd given 10 years of my life to someone who it seems didn't give a fuck and left me questioning why I wasn't enough. I'm a year on now and doing ok, but I still have trust issues |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hubby, yeah, it's a bastard, it's out of your control as the injured party, and I felt totally devastated.
Good things that came out if it?
Two beautiful kids, I made many new friends and had plenty of new experiences.
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
Yes. Husband.
He confessed his first adultery to me when he was d*unk and I was 5 months pregnant with our second child.
I forgave him, well probably not entirely.
The last time he cheated I realised I didn’t care. Ironically he was the paranoid one always accusing me of cheating... classic cheats behaviour.
I am more wary these days but I refuse to believe everyone is cheating. Even after having encountered so many on here. |
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"Yes. Husband.
He confessed his first adultery to me when he was d*unk and I was 5 months pregnant with our second child.
I forgave him, well probably not entirely.
The last time he cheated I realised I didn’t care. Ironically he was the paranoid one always accusing me of cheating... classic cheats behaviour.
I am more wary these days but I refuse to believe everyone is cheating. Even after having encountered so many on here."
.
That’s very good I’m surprised how many can’t let go and move on that has shocked me a little
But I do think there will be disproportion amount on sites like this as it exactly what it says.
Don’t think there will ever be a correct answer to this one  |
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Yes I've been cheated on and the end result was getting divorced.
Being cheated on does alot of emotional damage and it's a long time to recover, not to mention the trust issues it leaves you with. |
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By *euschMan
over a year ago
peterborough |
"I must not be that sensitive, My reaction was oh well see ya! It certainly didnt play on my mind any length of time. "
Just had a quick check of your pics, if he cheated on you the other woman must have been some sort of goddess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr- one of my exes cheated on me with her area manager, the manager had a terminally ill wife who had no idea what he was doing, the thought did come to find her on Facebook and tell her but I didn't want the woman's last remaining time to be a shattered betrayed mess like I was |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been cheated on (1st love) and I think it did changed me going forward. So has my partner. I admit I’ve been no angel since but Now I like the idea of a relationship where your so comfortable with each other that you can be open and have sex with others. Hence why my partner and I are on fabs and enjoying all that it has to offer 
You meet some great friends too |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"I must not be that sensitive, My reaction was oh well see ya! It certainly didnt play on my mind any length of time.
Just had a quick check of your pics, if he cheated on you the other woman must have been some sort of goddess"
I agree that you are looking lovely in your pics, but I doubt that the other woman was “better” than you. It’s more about the cheater being wrong in the head than you not being good enough!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep, by my ex.
Denied it and made out I was a crazy bitch. Heard it all, lies, excuses, was beaten & berated.
It's not just about being cheated on, a one night stand or d*unken fumble I could have forgiven. It was the lies, the choice to do something whilst fully aware of the hurt it could cause was done anyway.
I knew it was happening and to be honest I just wanted to catch him in the act so I had a legitimate reason to kick the cunt out.
What hurt the most was the person he was having an affair with knew about me, I had met her. His friends who I thought were my friends too knew.
That was the betrayal that hurt me the most. I already hated him so really didn't give a flying fuck if he went off with someone else, what hurt was the denial and continued lies not only from him but from those I considered friends.
That's where the being unable to trust comes from. That's why the wounds cut so deep.
I don't care that I was cheated on by a narcissistic abusive prick, but I do care that it showed me there's more people involved than met the eye and they were willing to let me continue being head fucked over it.
P |
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Most of my important long term relationships have ended up due to them cheating, added them up this week actually just one partner didn’t cheat, he was the best looking back
You feel so badly let down and at the time you question yourself endlessly you suffer badly for a long time and then trust is so hard to give again but I have always been able too until recently
I feel cursed by this now and the way I think about men and human kind has changed
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes.
By someone I was with for 3 years, I was 22.
He cheated with someone I didn’t know, but a mutual friend knew and that’s how I found out.
I had a feeling, I put it down to gut instinct, so when I was told it just confirmed what I already felt.
I confronted him and ended it there and then, he didn’t deny it, and apologised but that was that. He tried for years to get me back, contacting friends, my social media, my number even after I’d blocked him he’d use someone else’s.
Only recently he tried to add me on Facebook. We live in the same area and I’ve seen him out several times, I’m polite but that’s it. I have some of his friends on social media as I knew them from college and they have told me unsolicited how he tells them, I was the one, he made the biggest mistake of his life blah blah blah. 
I’ve been cheated on before that, but that one was a killer, and I am completely against meeting an attached person on here because I don’t agree with cheating and I know how it feels.
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"I’ve been cheated on (1st love) and I think it did changed me going forward. So has my partner. I admit I’ve been no angel since but Now I like the idea of a relationship where your so comfortable with each other that you can be open and have sex with others. Hence why my partner and I are on fabs and enjoying all that it has to offer
You meet some great friends too "
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"Yep, by my ex.
Denied it and made out I was a crazy bitch. Heard it all, lies, excuses, was beaten & berated.
It's not just about being cheated on, a one night stand or d*unken fumble I could have forgiven. It was the lies, the choice to do something whilst fully aware of the hurt it could cause was done anyway.
I knew it was happening and to be honest I just wanted to catch him in the act so I had a legitimate reason to kick the cunt out.
What hurt the most was the person he was having an affair with knew about me, I had met her. His friends who I thought were my friends too knew.
That was the betrayal that hurt me the most. I already hated him so really didn't give a flying fuck if he went off with someone else, what hurt was the denial and continued lies not only from him but from those I considered friends.
That's where the being unable to trust comes from. That's why the wounds cut so deep.
I don't care that I was cheated on by a narcissistic abusive prick, but I do care that it showed me there's more people involved than met the eye and they were willing to let me continue being head fucked over it.
P"
I am so sorry that this happened to you. It’s one thing being cheated on, but when your so called friends have colluded in his betrayal it’s so much more hurtful. You really do find out who Your friends are after a split and they aren’t always the ones who you thought.
I also now understand your hesitation in attempting single meets. |
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Yes, my ex wife (hence ex). Was devastating in so many ways and put me in the darkest time of my life ever. Nearly broke me and tore our lovely young family apart. Found my self alone with two young kids to raise. It was hard.
But in a strange way all worked out in the end (Well for me, maybe not so much her). I made a good life for me and the kids. I found this lifestyle. Got engaged to most amazing woman on here who is truly my soul mate. Plus me and the ex now have a good parenting relationship. Things are pretty sweet. Like in nature sometimes total destruction is the catalyst for fresh strong new creation. I just hope one day my ex can find the peace and happiness I have found. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, by my ex.
Denied it and made out I was a crazy bitch. Heard it all, lies, excuses, was beaten & berated.
It's not just about being cheated on, a one night stand or d*unken fumble I could have forgiven. It was the lies, the choice to do something whilst fully aware of the hurt it could cause was done anyway.
I knew it was happening and to be honest I just wanted to catch him in the act so I had a legitimate reason to kick the cunt out.
What hurt the most was the person he was having an affair with knew about me, I had met her. His friends who I thought were my friends too knew.
That was the betrayal that hurt me the most. I already hated him so really didn't give a flying fuck if he went off with someone else, what hurt was the denial and continued lies not only from him but from those I considered friends.
That's where the being unable to trust comes from. That's why the wounds cut so deep.
I don't care that I was cheated on by a narcissistic abusive prick, but I do care that it showed me there's more people involved than met the eye and they were willing to let me continue being head fucked over it.
P
I am so sorry that this happened to you. It’s one thing being cheated on, but when your so called friends have colluded in his betrayal it’s so much more hurtful. You really do find out who Your friends are after a split and they aren’t always the ones who you thought.
I also now understand your hesitation in attempting single meets. "
Yeah it did some damage! I'm determined not to let it rule my life though, and the act itself doesn't. The betrayal and inability to trust people I haven't got the measure of does though to a degree. What made it worse was I knew. In my gut I knew. That's why I feel I need to get to know people, suss their vibe.
All I ask for is understanding, and if people get to know me they will.
Thank you
P |
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"Yep, by my ex.
Denied it and made out I was a crazy bitch. Heard it all, lies, excuses, was beaten & berated.
It's not just about being cheated on, a one night stand or d*unken fumble I could have forgiven. It was the lies, the choice to do something whilst fully aware of the hurt it could cause was done anyway.
I knew it was happening and to be honest I just wanted to catch him in the act so I had a legitimate reason to kick the cunt out.
What hurt the most was the person he was having an affair with knew about me, I had met her. His friends who I thought were my friends too knew.
That was the betrayal that hurt me the most. I already hated him so really didn't give a flying fuck if he went off with someone else, what hurt was the denial and continued lies not only from him but from those I considered friends.
That's where the being unable to trust comes from. That's why the wounds cut so deep.
I don't care that I was cheated on by a narcissistic abusive prick, but I do care that it showed me there's more people involved than met the eye and they were willing to let me continue being head fucked over it.
P"
Likewise for me a blip, a one night stand, a mistake or call for change I could have forgiven. But it's totally devastating when you unravel a whole history of lies, deception and manipulation. It totally pulls the rug from under your feet and everthing you think is real just comes crashing down around you. Even worse even when I had discovered so much she would still refuse to admit it and make me feel I was going crazy and guilty for questioning the loyalty of the woman who I loved so much. I half thought I was crazy. Questioned my sanity so much. I kept digging and finally got to the point id have to catch them in the act for her to admit it. I did and finally she was forced to admit it. Why could she not be straight with me? Why did she have to play so many mind games and make me feel bat shit crazy and horrible? All I wanted was honesty and sort things out like mature adults split or stay. That's why she my ex wife, the lies and mind games.
Also throughout our time together she would accuse me of cheating all the time. Said that everyone has always cheated on her. I never did, I loved her more than anything. This is party why it was so hard for me to believe she was cheating on my. My therapist (she messes my head up good) said often people who can't trust them selves often can't trust others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, by my ex.
Denied it and made out I was a crazy bitch. Heard it all, lies, excuses, was beaten & berated.
It's not just about being cheated on, a one night stand or d*unken fumble I could have forgiven. It was the lies, the choice to do something whilst fully aware of the hurt it could cause was done anyway.
I knew it was happening and to be honest I just wanted to catch him in the act so I had a legitimate reason to kick the cunt out.
What hurt the most was the person he was having an affair with knew about me, I had met her. His friends who I thought were my friends too knew.
That was the betrayal that hurt me the most. I already hated him so really didn't give a flying fuck if he went off with someone else, what hurt was the denial and continued lies not only from him but from those I considered friends.
That's where the being unable to trust comes from. That's why the wounds cut so deep.
I don't care that I was cheated on by a narcissistic abusive prick, but I do care that it showed me there's more people involved than met the eye and they were willing to let me continue being head fucked over it.
P
Likewise for me a blip, a one night stand, a mistake or call for change I could have forgiven. But it's totally devastating when you unravel a whole history of lies, deception and manipulation. It totally pulls the rug from under your feet and everthing you think is real just comes crashing down around you. Even worse even when I had discovered so much she would still refuse to admit it and make me feel I was going crazy and guilty for questioning the loyalty of the woman who I loved so much. I half thought I was crazy. Questioned my sanity so much. I kept digging and finally got to the point id have to catch them in the act for her to admit it. I did and finally she was forced to admit it. Why could she not be straight with me? Why did she have to play so many mind games and make me feel bat shit crazy and horrible? All I wanted was honesty and sort things out like mature adults split or stay. That's why she my ex wife, the lies and mind games.
Also throughout our time together she would accuse me of cheating all the time. Said that everyone has always cheated on her. I never did, I loved her more than anything. This is party why it was so hard for me to believe she was cheating on my. My therapist (she messes my head up good) said often people who can't trust them selves often can't trust others."
Oh god I had that. Funnily enough he said all his exes had cheated on him too, I felt so fucking sorry for him.
Then it begins years down the line. They question your loyalty and accuse you of not loving them if you believe they could do it. I was apparently having an affair with a young lad at work 
You're so right about just wanting the truth. If he'd said "you know what, I'm seeing someone else and it's time to go our separate ways" then ok, but to flat out deny, tell me I was mad, unloving, crazy, psychotic and all that other shit was just cruel. You really start questioning your own sanity. He would say things happened when they didn't or that things didn't happen when they did. It got to the point I was secretly voice recording convos between us so I has stuff as evidence, coz he'd straight out tell me he never said something he just did!
I've said it before and I'll say it a thousand times....
I'd much rather be stung by the truth than stabbed in the back by a lie.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol. It's the story of my life. It's even why I've taken to swing.
My last ex cheated with my friends son.
The most hurtful thing to me was, I sat I took them for breakfast, sat them both down and asked them directly. They denied it.
I felt horrible for being so distrusting.
Then Boom! 2 months later they were caught.
But karma is my buddy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just felt inadequate! That's probably describing it best.
And it was just sex but still.
Forgiven but no improvement. Ditched in a big scene. 6 months later we met to pass on last of the things i left in our flat and i got apologies and tears and a karma story about his next girlfriend who did exactly same to him. With his father apparently saying to him thats his payback for treating me shit.   |
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"Just felt inadequate! That's probably describing it best.
And it was just sex but still.
Forgiven but no improvement. Ditched in a big scene. 6 months later we met to pass on last of the things i left in our flat and i got apologies and tears and a karma story about his next girlfriend who did exactly same to him. With his father apparently saying to him thats his payback for treating me shit. "
Revenge most wicked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't have to do a thing. Well, apart from pulling my shit together and making better choices next time;-)
So not exactly revenge but felt like a relief he finally understood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
Just had a quick check of your pics, if he cheated on you the other woman must have been some sort of goddess"
People don't cheat because there is something wrong with their partner. They cheat because there is something wrong with themselves. It's called a lack of integrity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm.. Yeh.. I guess I deserved it in the end. I had a 5 year affair with a married woman.. I got in too deep emotionally, and she eventually cheated on me with not one but two workmates half her age. She did other dodgy shit too afterwards. Still lives with hubby today - and he's still non the wiser to anything she's done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many people go through the "why wasn't I good enough for them?" thought process too. They rack their brains about what they did wrong, what they need to change about themselves for someone to love them, "if someone horrid can't love me, what hope do I have?" It can cut so deep, too deep to believe they didn't need to change, they don't need to change. They blame themselves when they aren't to blame because it's easier to point the finger at themselves than to accept some people really are just arseholes and they got taken in by one, because that tells them their judgement is flawed.
It can take an awful lot to recover from, especially when mind games are involved.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many people go through the "why wasn't I good enough for them?" thought process too. They rack their brains about what they did wrong, what they need to change about themselves for someone to love them, "if someone horrid can't love me, what hope do I have?" It can cut so deep, too deep to believe they didn't need to change, they don't need to change. They blame themselves when they aren't to blame because it's easier to point the finger at themselves than to accept some people really are just arseholes and they got taken in by one, because that tells them their judgement is flawed.
It can take an awful lot to recover from, especially when mind games are involved.
P"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was cheated on by my ex husband who had a few affairs before I found out then told me it was my fault for being fat, ugly and boring. He insisted he was going to stay and carry on having his own version of an open relationship but I wasn’t. I left with my 5 year old boy and years of hassle, grief and struggle followed. I’ve moved on emotionally now but i have difficulty trusting and although I love the intimacy and fun of dating I’ve never met anyone I could have a full committed relationship with again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After we separated and divorced, I found my ex had been sleeping with the local landlady. No wonder he found somewhere to stay so quickly.
By that point I really didn't care. It was not the worst thing he did during our marriage; not by a long way. |
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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago
trouble most likely, or creating it :) |
Yes with my previous partner.. it was soul destroying and when i actually discovered the true depth of his and other fabbers betrayal it hurt me beyond words.
Im very cynical now and wont put myself at risk of it again |
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I was cheated on multiple times by my ex & I knew it was happening but couldn`t prove it. Not knowing if I was right or not & being told it was all in my head messed me up at the time. I walked away & stayed away, I wouldn`t have minded if she had just been honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got a feeling of the hurt caused to people here
But would I like to be told from a friend or find out for yourself
In a position here now do I tell a friend he’s playing off side |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was pregnant first time I was cheated on. I forgave him too I saw loads of evidence on his phone a text came up while I was te ting a friend off his phone he was driving I wasnt snooping. And the second time I had just had my newborn (second baby to him) I don't know of any in between) you lose trust and faith in them and yourself. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Yup, with his so called ex who he got pregnant. Had separate phones for us both. I found her via a friend on FB and told her everything. We hatched a plan to catch him out and fell about laughing when he was still trying to deny it to our faces. We both dumped him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So many people on this site that have been cheated on
So the next question do you think there’s a connection ? "
Wouldn't say there's a connection as such, however we do come here hoping that people aren't liars, as the site is supposedly about being upfront about wants and desires, intentions and agendas.
Unfortunately this isn't always the case and there are plenty of bullshitting cockwombles from both sexes. There are also many cheats here too.
P |
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By *JCouple
over a year ago
Teesside |
"Consensual platonic hugs to all.
Absolutely so many touching stories "
Definitely this thread goes someway abliet just a snippet of highlighting the pain and devastation that is caused by cheaters. Both myself and my wife have been victims of cheating in our past relationships and the worst part is the bare face lies told to your face and how they make you feel like your going mad for suspecting them!
Before any user who signs up to fab so they can try and cheat on their partner should be made to give this thread a thorough read first.
KJ x |
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"Consensual platonic hugs to all.
Absolutely so many touching stories
Definitely this thread goes someway abliet just a snippet of highlighting the pain and devastation that is caused by cheaters. Both myself and my wife have been victims of cheating in our past relationships and the worst part is the bare face lies told to your face and how they make you feel like your going mad for suspecting them!
Before any user who signs up to fab so they can try and cheat on their partner should be made to give this thread a thorough read first.
KJ x "
Do you honestly think it will stop it ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must not be that sensitive, My reaction was oh well see ya! It certainly didnt play on my mind any length of time. "
Mine as well, the thing that upset was I wasn't asked to join in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me too but I wasnt cowed or beaten by it. In fact, by the time I actually got him to move out, it was a relief. He then refused to allow the sale of the house for another couple of years - that WAS trying. I locked him out, he burst down the door. He blocked my car in until I phoned The Police (who were brilliant by the way). I put all his things into an outhouse - he stole a lot of my jewelry, including a sovereign pendant which I later found for sale on ebay, and a gold watch. Like someone said above, it turned out many of my 'friends' knew long before me and were covering for him. His new partner was someone I knew and in fact I later discovered that HE had been the cause of HER previous relationship breaking up. To be honest, I couldnt have cared less about that - they deserved each other by then. I did eventually sell the house and moved. I established new social circles and retained some long-standing friends along the way. I LOVE my life now and answer to no-one. Looking back, it was the best thing that happened to me. I could have lived without the trauma caused by his intransigence and nastiness, but now I dont give a flying fig. I later discovered that he had massive debts which I'd known nothing about. Hey-Ho. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My marriage ended because my ex husband cheated on me. We were together 20 years and then once one lie was revealed to me, it became apparent that he cheated throughout our marriage.
Wouldn’t let it break me and never looked back but.... I also can’t see myself giving my heart to anyone again. Extremely guarded and have barriers up now and that means I come across as I have no empathy which isn’t the case at all |
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"So many people on this site that have been cheated on
So the next question do you think there’s a connection ? "
Nope, this is biased sample but if you go on netmums and start a thread about cheating, the fact it gets replies does not prove a causal effect that netmums users are prone to cheats.
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By *nlyme1978Man
over a year ago
Somewhere Near You |
I caught my ex having anal sex with my best friend as I got home early she was bent over the sofa and he was hammering away I was devastated not only had I never been let near her arse he was gifted in a department I am not, to add to the devastation my daughter was asleep in her cot upstairs as they realised I had walked in he ran upstairs and locked himself in the bathroom I said thanks for that and walked out they are now married no hard feeling anymore as I have two kids with her I need to be civil |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So many people on this site that have been cheated on
So the next question do you think there’s a connection ?
No connection but it does explain why so many people avoid cheaters on this site."
Exactly this. |
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A popular post OP and thanks ...Apologies for this but time for a cathartic outburst I think !
After many years of swinging I met and fell deeply in love with a beautiful woman. Was two years of bliss.
At her and her wretched mother's request I applied to become adoptive father to her two wonderful young daughters thinking that life could get no better.
Meanwhile they were all living in my house with me paying the bills....Must say I was blinded by love.
All fell apart just before Xmas 2013 when I was told at breakfast that I was not welcome anymore ....Being the eternal gent I spent Xmas in an hotel wondering what the hell just happenned ?
I was completely done over during that period ...£25000.00 went out of my Savngs Account and I fell into a big hole of depression ...Both her and her Mother were mutual friends of a good friend who shook me up and got me to see some sense.
I wanted so much revenge at the time but good friends and my work stopped that for all the right reasons. I was conned and then discovered she had been having an affair at my expense.
It was my ultimate humiliation especially as I deal with so much deception,fraud and trash with my work.
Am and always be angry with myself for falling for it. What I love about the Fab community is the honesty that comes with (idiots excepted).
Really wanted to get this off my chest. Dishonesty is the worst of all human traits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Consensual platonic hugs to all.
Absolutely so many touching stories
Definitely this thread goes someway abliet just a snippet of highlighting the pain and devastation that is caused by cheaters. Both myself and my wife have been victims of cheating in our past relationships and the worst part is the bare face lies told to your face and how they make you feel like your going mad for suspecting them!
Before any user who signs up to fab so they can try and cheat on their partner should be made to give this thread a thorough read first.
KJ x
Do you honestly think it will stop it ? "
Not the ones who don't care if their partner may never recover or have their mental health damaged from it no, but those who have compassion it may.
I think for most the act itself isn't the worst of the betrayal, the lies and deception are.
If this thread can stop one person being put through what many of us here have not only endured, but suffered... well, that's one less person who's world has been destroyed.
If it encourages one person to talk to their partner openly, have honest communication with them, that's one more person who's relationship may not be saved, but at least ended with civility, respect, mutual understanding and agreement that they're wanting different things and possibly still love each other but the gap between them is too big. Break ups can be painful but they don't have to be viscous and ugly, and if both still care for the other in some way then with compassion and an adult mindset things can be done to end the relationship with the common goal being the happiness of each other as well as themselves.
P
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The ex husband cheated on me. I blatantly knew but he kept denying it, he was a squaddie they all did it and everyone on the pad knew everyone else’s business - tolerated it for so long but walked out eventually.
My ex partner I lived with also did, again I knew but he denied it for so long, I asked him to leave and he wouldn’t and eventually when his bit on the side rang me to have a go at me over hurting him because I decided enough was enough and if he could do it then so could I - only difference was I told him it was gonna happen, I ended up changing the locks.
Ironically I do play with attached men, if it’s not me they play with it will be someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ironically I do play with attached men, if it’s not me they play with it will be someone else. "
But when they’re not playing with you, they’re likely playing with someone else anyway.
Each to their own. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I must not be that sensitive, My reaction was oh well see ya! It certainly didnt play on my mind any length of time. "
Same here, Found out & within two hours she was out the door "Off you fuck then, See ya, have a good life". Think those were pretty much my exact words. Seven years together & married for four of them.
S (Mr). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Am I the only one who’s forgiven cheating?? "
Not at all, I didn't care about the cheating, it was the fucking lying, manipulation and deception I'll not ever forgive
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We met each other as I (mr) cheated on my wife with Mrs S (current wife) on here. It was awful all round. I nearly broke her because of it. I genuinely never intended too but that’s what they all say.
I should have left first and then gone on with the new relationship. When we did break up and told her what had been happening she wasn’t surprised. Broken naturally but she new something was up.
That was 12 years ago now, up until having our first child just over 5 years ago I regretted the whole cheating thing, deeply, everyday. Not breaking up with her, but cheating.
She’s seems to be doing well now but has trust issues. I honestly regret it so much, while I would never do it again. I wouldn’t have ended the relationship that way. Though it was doomed without me cheating anyway.
As it turned out, she’d cheated on me before I did on her, I had a suspicion at the time when she was seeing another guy (it turned out) but I couldn’t pin it down to anything.
Either way, the now Mrs S and I fell very much in love and have a great young family. Only problem being, I wish she’d have sex with other people more! |
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Happened to me twice unfortunately,
10 years engaged, loved each other so much, gave her everything I had, a job, holidays, clothes, house everything.
Then I realised she was pregnant but it wasn't my child.
I thought wtf is going on.
She threw the engagement ring back at me and was told that she been fucking my only and best mate I had.
I was sick, fuming, and was left all alone, and still am.
Broke my heart in bits, not only did I lose my true love but my best friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Am I the only one who’s forgiven cheating??
Not at all, I didn't care about the cheating, it was the fucking lying, manipulation and deception I'll not ever forgive
P"
Exactly! The lying was the thing.
But I have forgiven though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
yes. husband cheated.
I had long suspected cheating on top of everything else. he made me think i was crazy. he accused me of cheating until i stopped going out, seeing friends etc then he accused me of cheating with work colleagues.
we regularly separated & reconciled. on one occasion I asked his sister if she knew if he'd cheated. with a smile she told me a woman wanted a DNA test
that woman was the nursery worker I handed my baby to daily before i went to work, my friend and the person encouraging me to leave him as I deserved better.... he denied everything
It was all in my head according to him and people were stirring trouble as they were jealous.
I found face book messages etc from other women but he always had an explanation
eventually I had enough. I divorced him
he said i destroyed his life divorcing him so he was going to destroy mine. he stalked me, tried to get me sacked, so many other things - this went on for years
last year after 8 years divorced he confessed all. the nursery worker had been involved with him all our marriage and there were so many others
do I care about the physical act of cheating .... nope
it's the mind games, lies, self doubt, low self esteem, confidence issues, humiliation, trust issues due to so alleged friends/family covering up and in my case his revenge because I dared stand up to him and leave
|
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"yes. husband cheated.
I had long suspected cheating on top of everything else. he made me think i was crazy. he accused me of cheating until i stopped going out, seeing friends etc then he accused me of cheating with work colleagues.
we regularly separated & reconciled. on one occasion I asked his sister if she knew if he'd cheated. with a smile she told me a woman wanted a DNA test
that woman was the nursery worker I handed my baby to daily before i went to work, my friend and the person encouraging me to leave him as I deserved better.... he denied everything
It was all in my head according to him and people were stirring trouble as they were jealous.
I found face book messages etc from other women but he always had an explanation
eventually I had enough. I divorced him
he said i destroyed his life divorcing him so he was going to destroy mine. he stalked me, tried to get me sacked, so many other things - this went on for years
last year after 8 years divorced he confessed all. the nursery worker had been involved with him all our marriage and there were so many others
do I care about the physical act of cheating .... nope
it's the mind games, lies, self doubt, low self esteem, confidence issues, humiliation, trust issues due to so alleged friends/family covering up and in my case his revenge because I dared stand up to him and leave
"
Oh lord what a disgusting man, |
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By *rufinWoman
over a year ago
notts |
"yes. husband cheated.
I had long suspected cheating on top of everything else. he made me think i was crazy. he accused me of cheating until i stopped going out, seeing friends etc then he accused me of cheating with work colleagues.
we regularly separated & reconciled. on one occasion I asked his sister if she knew if he'd cheated. with a smile she told me a woman wanted a DNA test
that woman was the nursery worker I handed my baby to daily before i went to work, my friend and the person encouraging me to leave him as I deserved better.... he denied everything
It was all in my head according to him and people were stirring trouble as they were jealous.
I found face book messages etc from other women but he always had an explanation
eventually I had enough. I divorced him
he said i destroyed his life divorcing him so he was going to destroy mine. he stalked me, tried to get me sacked, so many other things - this went on for years
last year after 8 years divorced he confessed all. the nursery worker had been involved with him all our marriage and there were so many others
do I care about the physical act of cheating .... nope
it's the mind games, lies, self doubt, low self esteem, confidence issues, humiliation, trust issues due to so alleged friends/family covering up and in my case his revenge because I dared stand up to him and leave
"
V sorry. I went thro similar. You are v resilient. Tough cookie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"yes. husband cheated.
I had long suspected cheating on top of everything else. he made me think i was crazy. he accused me of cheating until i stopped going out, seeing friends etc then he accused me of cheating with work colleagues.
we regularly separated & reconciled. on one occasion I asked his sister if she knew if he'd cheated. with a smile she told me a woman wanted a DNA test
that woman was the nursery worker I handed my baby to daily before i went to work, my friend and the person encouraging me to leave him as I deserved better.... he denied everything
It was all in my head according to him and people were stirring trouble as they were jealous.
I found face book messages etc from other women but he always had an explanation
eventually I had enough. I divorced him
he said i destroyed his life divorcing him so he was going to destroy mine. he stalked me, tried to get me sacked, so many other things - this went on for years
last year after 8 years divorced he confessed all. the nursery worker had been involved with him all our marriage and there were so many others
do I care about the physical act of cheating .... nope
it's the mind games, lies, self doubt, low self esteem, confidence issues, humiliation, trust issues due to so alleged friends/family covering up and in my case his revenge because I dared stand up to him and leave
V sorry. I went thro similar. You are v resilient. Tough cookie "
Yes the stalking, revenge crap stuff is unforgivable. A bloke that never grew up by the sounds of it. If you cheat and get caught, come clean and if you are lying to yourself and your partner tell them you need to split up because it is just so mean to continue the charade. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"yes. husband cheated.
I had long suspected cheating on top of everything else. he made me think i was crazy. he accused me of cheating until i stopped going out, seeing friends etc then he accused me of cheating with work colleagues.
we regularly separated & reconciled. on one occasion I asked his sister if she knew if he'd cheated. with a smile she told me a woman wanted a DNA test
that woman was the nursery worker I handed my baby to daily before i went to work, my friend and the person encouraging me to leave him as I deserved better.... he denied everything
It was all in my head according to him and people were stirring trouble as they were jealous.
I found face book messages etc from other women but he always had an explanation
eventually I had enough. I divorced him
he said i destroyed his life divorcing him so he was going to destroy mine. he stalked me, tried to get me sacked, so many other things - this went on for years
last year after 8 years divorced he confessed all. the nursery worker had been involved with him all our marriage and there were so many others
do I care about the physical act of cheating .... nope
it's the mind games, lies, self doubt, low self esteem, confidence issues, humiliation, trust issues due to so alleged friends/family covering up and in my case his revenge because I dared stand up to him and leave
V sorry. I went thro similar. You are v resilient. Tough cookie
Yes the stalking, revenge crap stuff is unforgivable. A bloke that never grew up by the sounds of it. If you cheat and get caught, come clean and if you are lying to yourself and your partner tell them you need to split up because it is just so mean to continue the charade."
his behaviour continues. any communication from him is just abuse.
he continues with his lies and own made up version of events
I'm amazed at the things he tells everyone I've been doing
|
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My last boyfriend cheated on me repeatedly. I stuck it out for a while but it pretty much destroyed me. I know that it was nothing to do with me because he did it to his wife before me and is still doing it with the girl he left me for, but it broke me and I can’t face another relationship. Hence why I’m on here and not on Match.com. I just couldn’t go through that again. The lingering effects of feeling worthless are pretty devastating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm confused isn't fab about encouraging this behaviour? "
Encouraging cheating, lying, destruction, manipulation and mind games? Not if you're a decent human.
P |
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"My last boyfriend cheated on me repeatedly. I stuck it out for a while but it pretty much destroyed me. I know that it was nothing to do with me because he did it to his wife before me and is still doing it with the girl he left me for, but it broke me and I can’t face another relationship. Hence why I’m on here and not on Match.com. I just couldn’t go through that again. The lingering effects of feeling worthless are pretty devastating. "
Makes me sad for you to read those words..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My last boyfriend cheated on me repeatedly. I stuck it out for a while but it pretty much destroyed me. I know that it was nothing to do with me because he did it to his wife before me and is still doing it with the girl he left me for, but it broke me and I can’t face another relationship. Hence why I’m on here and not on Match.com. I just couldn’t go through that again. The lingering effects of feeling worthless are pretty devastating. "
women's centres usually offer counselling services.
I know it's not for everyone
I can't speak highly enough of counselling to allow you vent and put you back together
x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm confused isn't fab about encouraging this behaviour? "
No. Otherwise it'd be called fabcheaters.com
There's a distinction between swinging and cheating that, sadly, many users just don't get |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes, twice that I know of. Completely shattered my self confidence and broke me for a while. I'm good now but wont put myself in a situation where someone could hurt me again. I still like men and dont think they are all the same but my trust has been fractured, it's actually quite sad really but that's why I'm here looking for a flirtationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...
Just had a quick check of your pics, if he cheated on you the other woman must have been some sort of goddess
People don't cheat because there is something wrong with their partner. They cheat because there is something wrong with themselves. It's called a lack of integrity."
what about people in abusive relationships? |
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"My last boyfriend cheated on me repeatedly. I stuck it out for a while but it pretty much destroyed me. I know that it was nothing to do with me because he did it to his wife before me and is still doing it with the girl he left me for, but it broke me and I can’t face another relationship. Hence why I’m on here and not on Match.com. I just couldn’t go through that again. The lingering effects of feeling worthless are pretty devastating.
Makes me sad for you to read those words....."
Thanks. Me too |
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"My last boyfriend cheated on me repeatedly. I stuck it out for a while but it pretty much destroyed me. I know that it was nothing to do with me because he did it to his wife before me and is still doing it with the girl he left me for, but it broke me and I can’t face another relationship. Hence why I’m on here and not on Match.com. I just couldn’t go through that again. The lingering effects of feeling worthless are pretty devastating.
women's centres usually offer counselling services.
I know it's not for everyone
I can't speak highly enough of counselling to allow you vent and put you back together
x
"
That is actually brilliant advice, therapy can help in so many ways, can stop self blame, recover and see a healthy happy future with a more trust worthy partner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...
Just had a quick check of your pics, if he cheated on you the other woman must have been some sort of goddess
People don't cheat because there is something wrong with their partner. They cheat because there is something wrong with themselves. It's called a lack of integrity. what about people in abusive relationships?"
The same applies.
Although there is something wrong with their partner (abusive), there is also something wrong with themselves as in they can’t escape the abusive relationship, so feel that cheating is better, I can imagine if said abusive partner found out, it wouldn’t end well at all. |
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"My last boyfriend cheated on me repeatedly. I stuck it out for a while but it pretty much destroyed me. I know that it was nothing to do with me because he did it to his wife before me and is still doing it with the girl he left me for, but it broke me and I can’t face another relationship. Hence why I’m on here and not on Match.com. I just couldn’t go through that again. The lingering effects of feeling worthless are pretty devastating.
women's centres usually offer counselling services.
I know it's not for everyone
I can't speak highly enough of counselling to allow you vent and put you back together
x
That is actually brilliant advice, therapy can help in so many ways, can stop self blame, recover and see a healthy happy future with a more trust worthy partner "
It’s a nice thought. Hopefully one day I’ll want to give it a try. For now this will have to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I must not be that sensitive, My reaction was oh well see ya! It certainly didnt play on my mind any length of time. "
i was the same when i got me of both my cheating exes.good riddance.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"yes. husband cheated.
I had long suspected cheating on top of everything else. he made me think i was crazy. he accused me of cheating until i stopped going out, seeing friends etc then he accused me of cheating with work colleagues.
we regularly separated & reconciled. on one occasion I asked his sister if she knew if he'd cheated. with a smile she told me a woman wanted a DNA test
that woman was the nursery worker I handed my baby to daily before i went to work, my friend and the person encouraging me to leave him as I deserved better.... he denied everything
It was all in my head according to him and people were stirring trouble as they were jealous.
I found face book messages etc from other women but he always had an explanation
eventually I had enough. I divorced him
he said i destroyed his life divorcing him so he was going to destroy mine. he stalked me, tried to get me sacked, so many other things - this went on for years
last year after 8 years divorced he confessed all. the nursery worker had been involved with him all our marriage and there were so many others
do I care about the physical act of cheating .... nope
it's the mind games, lies, self doubt, low self esteem, confidence issues, humiliation, trust issues due to so alleged friends/family covering up and in my case his revenge because I dared stand up to him and leave
V sorry. I went thro similar. You are v resilient. Tough cookie
Yes the stalking, revenge crap stuff is unforgivable. A bloke that never grew up by the sounds of it. If you cheat and get caught, come clean and if you are lying to yourself and your partner tell them you need to split up because it is just so mean to continue the charade.
his behaviour continues. any communication from him is just abuse.
he continues with his lies and own made up version of events
I'm amazed at the things he tells everyone I've been doing
"
Sorry to see you are still suffering. If someone is cheating regularly then they need to have a cold hard look at themselves as to why you are exhibiting this sort of behaviour and stop blaming their partner or other people for it. It is an addictive behaviour pattern and needs some therapy.
The definition of addiction is any behaviour or habit that causes or potentially causes harm to other people. In your case hopefully he will see sense and stop being a twat one day. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I was cheated on by my ex husband. I could have forgiven a one night stand . But he went for a drink to celebrate our babies birth ( I was still in hospital) . Went with work colleagues and slept with one. Continued to have an affair with her for 18months even taking our son to her flat and plonking him in front of the TV while they went into her bedroom !
When I was told about it by the woman's brother phoning me at work ,ex husband denied everything. Told me it was post natal depression making me paranoid and the woman fancied him and was causing trouble.
It was the length of the affair, taking our little boy along, mind games that utterly destroyed me. I still can't trust men 20 years on.
Also had a guy I was engaged to 5 years ago cheating on me despite us being on here and happy to have other partners. But he was meeting one girl repeatedly behind my back and talking about having a future together . Men are cruel idiots at times.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"yes. husband cheated.
I had long suspected cheating on top of everything else. he made me think i was crazy. he accused me of cheating until i stopped going out, seeing friends etc then he accused me of cheating with work colleagues.
we regularly separated & reconciled. on one occasion I asked his sister if she knew if he'd cheated. with a smile she told me a woman wanted a DNA test
that woman was the nursery worker I handed my baby to daily before i went to work, my friend and the person encouraging me to leave him as I deserved better.... he denied everything
It was all in my head according to him and people were stirring trouble as they were jealous.
I found face book messages etc from other women but he always had an explanation
eventually I had enough. I divorced him
he said i destroyed his life divorcing him so he was going to destroy mine. he stalked me, tried to get me sacked, so many other things - this went on for years
last year after 8 years divorced he confessed all. the nursery worker had been involved with him all our marriage and there were so many others
do I care about the physical act of cheating .... nope
it's the mind games, lies, self doubt, low self esteem, confidence issues, humiliation, trust issues due to so alleged friends/family covering up and in my case his revenge because I dared stand up to him and leave
V sorry. I went thro similar. You are v resilient. Tough cookie
Yes the stalking, revenge crap stuff is unforgivable. A bloke that never grew up by the sounds of it. If you cheat and get caught, come clean and if you are lying to yourself and your partner tell them you need to split up because it is just so mean to continue the charade.
his behaviour continues. any communication from him is just abuse.
he continues with his lies and own made up version of events
I'm amazed at the things he tells everyone I've been doing
Sorry to see you are still suffering. If someone is cheating regularly then they need to have a cold hard look at themselves as to why you are exhibiting this sort of behaviour and stop blaming their partner or other people for it. It is an addictive behaviour pattern and needs some therapy.
The definition of addiction is any behaviour or habit that causes or potentially causes harm to other people. In your case hopefully he will see sense and stop being a twat one day."
p.s. I come from this as being a Twat too for a while and I am eternally sorry to my ex wife for being said twat, though I know she will never read this, but we weren't compatible and I tried to paper over the cracks for many years. When we finally separated I treated her and my kids as well as I could and luckily they still love me and I think we are all pretty happy as we possibly can be under the circumstances though I suspect there are scars. So as a course of action do not be a twat and maybe just maybe you will be able to live with yourself after. |
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