FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How do the single people do it?
How do the single people do it?
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Oh I’m 100% okay with being alone. I was with my child’s father for 9 years and dropped that dead weight before she was born. Been pretty much single the whole of the last 10 years. Have excellent support around me, family, my kids father has her a lot. Been able to go on holidays with my friends their kids with my daughter and the odd long weekend in Marbs with just the girls over the years. Socially I can pretty much do whatever, my child goes abroad with her father for 2 fortnights a year as well. I’m kind of used to being on my own, catch my own spiders, assemble my own flat pack, do my own decorating and odd jobs, alright a few door knobs might fall off here and there but I’m totally self sufficient. I can go months and months without sex or even speaking to guys but when you have it you think that you miss that little element that they provide. " Seems like your pretty self sufficient and prob feel like this after a meet or coz weathers so bad and just wanna stay under the covers for a cuddle, that’s what I miss x | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I sorted my relationship out with myself. I started seeing myself as whole (even with the tricky empty feelings) and stopped externalising my happiness. The idea that I needed a partner to 'complete' me fell away. I'm my own 'the one'. Once I put that perspective on things I began to attract loves. I'm polyamorous so that probably helps take away the 'singleton' feeling whilst still being single. Trust yourself OP, give out what you want to attract in .. and it will come x " I always love reading your posts. You're very wise. I could learn a lot from you | |||
"I sorted my relationship out with myself. I started seeing myself as whole (even with the tricky empty feelings) and stopped externalising my happiness. The idea that I needed a partner to 'complete' me fell away. I'm my own 'the one'. Once I put that perspective on things I began to attract loves. I'm polyamorous so that probably helps take away the 'singleton' feeling whilst still being single. Trust yourself OP, give out what you want to attract in .. and it will come x I always love reading your posts. You're very wise. I could learn a lot from you " Agreed, great post x | |||
"Before you all start about how long I’ve been here so should know my shit you need to understand that in 9 years I’ve met just 6 guys that have been sex meets. After each one I’ve tweaked things to to try and minimise the post meet blues. Like the most recent one couldn’t have got a more decent guy. Was no promising shit or telling me stuff they think I want to hear. Was completely clear it was a one off cos of distance, everything left friendly. No issues there but forget the guy cos it’s not really about that, it would be the same no matter who it was. Struggling to articulate what the fuck I’m on about but like say everything is good in your life. You love your jobs, you got your child/children, got your siblings, your friends, your house, your car, everything’s ticking over and smooth no worries, you wanna do something or go somewhere there’s an abundance of people on the end of the phone to go with or have a mate or your sister round to watch telly, you even enjoy your own company and find joy in simple shit like driving to the shop or driving to work with music on, got your free gym m_mbership so can go the gym or a fitness class whenever you want. Everything is good, no dramas. Still doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s a man shaped hole in my life. Like I wouldn’t want one around me all the time, can’t fart or take a comfy dump when you want but I did enjoy the cwtching (cuddling) having a dick to suck when you want and being fucked. It’s like a closeness that only a man type can provide and I don’t like feeling that I can’t meet all my needs is what I’m saying. To use an analogy, I’m a trivial pursuit playing piece, I need all my cheese slices. Got family, entertainment, employment, environmental factors, friendship, health but always a slot missing. I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? " I mostly feel the same but it's a woman shape hole, and I don't want to say it but I don't think you ever will get the balance, you just have to fill that void with something else or just get a fwb, Good luck OP. | |||
"I sorted my relationship out with myself. I started seeing myself as whole (even with the tricky empty feelings) and stopped externalising my happiness. The idea that I needed a partner to 'complete' me fell away. I'm my own 'the one'. Once I put that perspective on things I began to attract loves. I'm polyamorous so that probably helps take away the 'singleton' feeling whilst still being single. Trust yourself OP, give out what you want to attract in .. and it will come x " I live by LoA 
Like I know I’m alright, even an hour ago I bumped into one of the girls I haven’t seen for a while and was proper pissing myself belly laughing with her having a catch up. Got my daughter who has so many after school activities, we’re always running around after school, and when we’re home we just chill together. My little sister clings to me and always wants to be around me as well. Got wicked best mates. Love work as well.
It’s like a boyfriend is too much, had one that I ended things with at Xmas and it was too much, needed my peace but then you can’t really say to a boyfriend type, look I got shit to do through the week and two weekends out of the month I want to do stuff with my daughter so can you just be my boyfriend every other weekend Friday to Sunday! 
What’s the solution, have multiple friend with benefits type people, but then I can’t spread myself thinly, I can only give my attention to one person at a time.
It’s all this bull shit that makes me be like right fuck it, I won’t meet anybody. | |||
| |||
" can you just be my boyfriend every other weekend Friday to Sunday!
"This would be the perfect solution for me too, at the moment! You're not alone OP, I feel exactly the same. | |||
| |||
| |||
"‘Tis fucking hard. Like I think I’d be offended if a guy said I only want you around when I’ve got free time. For me it’s every other weekend, like how do you say to a guy, look I’ve got things to do but I’d rather be doing you when I’ve got free time. I’d gone almost 3 months without any male contact and even though you’re ok without it, when you do have it it makes you think yeah I miss the sex and the spooning shit. Yeah it’s just fucking hard like. " Agreed, thought the comment above was a bit harsh, need to find like minded people and then keep at arms length, nightmare! X | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Before you all start about how long I’ve been here so should know my shit you need to understand that in 9 years I’ve met just 6 guys that have been sex meets. After each one I’ve tweaked things to to try and minimise the post meet blues. Like the most recent one couldn’t have got a more decent guy. Was no promising shit or telling me stuff they think I want to hear. Was completely clear it was a one off cos of distance, everything left friendly. No issues there but forget the guy cos it’s not really about that, it would be the same no matter who it was. Struggling to articulate what the fuck I’m on about but like say everything is good in your life. You love your jobs, you got your child/children, got your siblings, your friends, your house, your car, everything’s ticking over and smooth no worries, you wanna do something or go somewhere there’s an abundance of people on the end of the phone to go with or have a mate or your sister round to watch telly, you even enjoy your own company and find joy in simple shit like driving to the shop or driving to work with music on, got your free gym m_mbership so can go the gym or a fitness class whenever you want. Everything is good, no dramas. Still doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s a man shaped hole in my life. Like I wouldn’t want one around me all the time, can’t fart or take a comfy dump when you want but I did enjoy the cwtching (cuddling) having a dick to suck when you want and being fucked. It’s like a closeness that only a man type can provide and I don’t like feeling that I can’t meet all my needs is what I’m saying. To use an analogy, I’m a trivial pursuit playing piece, I need all my cheese slices. Got family, entertainment, employment, environmental factors, friendship, health but always a slot missing. I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? " Maybe you havent met the right person When you meet someone who gives you that 'butterflies"feeling you do want them in your life imho. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"Assuming you're not looking for an actual relationship, which I suspect you might actually be, here is your dilemma: You've stated before that only 5% of men interest you, and you don't do sharing. That's fine as we all have our preferences; however this makes your objective nearly impossible. The top 5% will interest 80-90% of women similar to you. If they're not looking for a relationship, they will have no shortage of offer and therefore have no incentive to limit themselves to one person, regardless of who she might be. You've shown through your posts that you're often insecure and jealous and men smell that a mile away. Unless you're comfortable that the one guy you fancy will be seeing other women then an exclusive fwb is a pointless exercise. You might get lucky and find one, but odds are good you won't. If you can't come to grips with this then meeting people from fab is a pointless exercise. The fact you've been here that long and have met so few people and have been unable to keep one either in a relationship or a regular fwb speaks volumes." Do you have to be so nasty in the way you converse, there’s really no need for it. Yes I’m aware that what I want is impossible. Very few guys interest me that’s correct. I’m not gonna say I get jealous cos it’s not really jealousy it’s more the risk of contamination, like I fucking hate germs, you have no idea, it baffles me as I can eat an arse hole but if someone went to take something off my plate or breathed on my food or drank out of my bottle it makes me feel sick. Like if I had 1000% reassurance that a guy would tool up if he met another bird and would keep his bareback activities to me only the sharing wouldn’t be a problem. I know it’s weird, it’s misconstrued as me being insecure but it’s not. Like what someone does is their business, I’d just rather not know about it. Thinking about another person using a guy before me grosses me out so my preference would be someone that’s exclusive to me. I’M AWARE that asking for that is selfish and weird and is asking way too much of a person that’s not a boyfriend. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"After a meet I furiously masturbate over Boldylonglegs photos Cry Then repeat until I feel better "You say the sweetest things about me | |||
"In 9 years you have been intimate with 6 people on here. Or do you have other skeletons you haven't told us about outside of fab? This is very public so choose your words carefully. " 6 people that have been sex meets yes. I went through a phase of doing blow job and rim meets only with no sex. Actual guys I’ve slept with is 6 but they’ve all been recycled. First guy in August 2011, again in 2013. 2nd guy was from Hull but ended up seeing him for 18 months till he fucked it up by saying he was gonna move to Wales. 3rd guy was 2014, 2016, 2017, 4th guy 2017/2018 5th guy March 2019 and 6th guy this weekend just passed. | |||
"After a meet I furiously masturbate over Boldylonglegs photos Cry Then repeat until I feel better
You say the sweetest things about me "You are cum worthy | |||
"Assuming you're not looking for an actual relationship, which I suspect you might actually be, here is your dilemma: You've stated before that only 5% of men interest you, and you don't do sharing. That's fine as we all have our preferences; however this makes your objective nearly impossible. The top 5% will interest 80-90% of women similar to you. If they're not looking for a relationship, they will have no shortage of offer and therefore have no incentive to limit themselves to one person, regardless of who she might be. You've shown through your posts that you're often insecure and jealous and men smell that a mile away. Unless you're comfortable that the one guy you fancy will be seeing other women then an exclusive fwb is a pointless exercise. You might get lucky and find one, but odds are good you won't. If you can't come to grips with this then meeting people from fab is a pointless exercise. The fact you've been here that long and have met so few people and have been unable to keep one either in a relationship or a regular fwb speaks volumes. Do you have to be so nasty in the way you converse, there’s really no need for it. Yes I’m aware that what I want is impossible. Very few guys interest me that’s correct. I’m not gonna say I get jealous cos it’s not really jealousy it’s more the risk of contamination, like I fucking hate germs, you have no idea, it baffles me as I can eat an arse hole but if someone went to take something off my plate or breathed on my food or drank out of my bottle it makes me feel sick. Like if I had 1000% reassurance that a guy would tool up if he met another bird and would keep his bareback activities to me only the sharing wouldn’t be a problem. I know it’s weird, it’s misconstrued as me being insecure but it’s not. Like what someone does is their business, I’d just rather not know about it. Thinking about another person using a guy before me grosses me out so my preference would be someone that’s exclusive to me. I’M AWARE that asking for that is selfish and weird and is asking way too much of a person that’s not a boyfriend. " I wasn't being nasty but merely blunt in my assessment as i've also noticed you much rather prefer honest opinions. As to your reasons for not wanting to share, that is the weirdest explanation i've heard to date as i'm assuming the guy wouldn't do the someone else, then you back to back?? Regardless, they're your reasons and everyone is different. You're in an uncompromising situation then. You don't want a relationship, but instead want a guy around to use at your leisure and discretion without giving him the opportunity of doing similar. Good luck. | |||
| |||
"I can totally relate to you OP!" Sucks doesn’t it. If you were closer we could eat take aways and braid each other’s vaginas. | |||
"In 9 years you have been intimate with 6 people on here. Or do you have other skeletons you haven't told us about outside of fab? This is very public so choose your words carefully. 6 people that have been sex meets yes. I went through a phase of doing blow job and rim meets only with no sex. Actual guys I’ve slept with is 6 but they’ve all been recycled. First guy in August 2011, again in 2013. 2nd guy was from Hull but ended up seeing him for 18 months till he fucked it up by saying he was gonna move to Wales. 3rd guy was 2014, 2016, 2017, 4th guy 2017/2018 5th guy March 2019 and 6th guy this weekend just passed. " And all very lucky fuckers!!! | |||
| |||
"Assuming you're not looking for an actual relationship, which I suspect you might actually be, here is your dilemma: You've stated before that only 5% of men interest you, and you don't do sharing. That's fine as we all have our preferences; however this makes your objective nearly impossible. The top 5% will interest 80-90% of women similar to you. If they're not looking for a relationship, they will have no shortage of offer and therefore have no incentive to limit themselves to one person, regardless of who she might be. You've shown through your posts that you're often insecure and jealous and men smell that a mile away. Unless you're comfortable that the one guy you fancy will be seeing other women then an exclusive fwb is a pointless exercise. You might get lucky and find one, but odds are good you won't. If you can't come to grips with this then meeting people from fab is a pointless exercise. The fact you've been here that long and have met so few people and have been unable to keep one either in a relationship or a regular fwb speaks volumes. Do you have to be so nasty in the way you converse, there’s really no need for it. Yes I’m aware that what I want is impossible. Very few guys interest me that’s correct. I’m not gonna say I get jealous cos it’s not really jealousy it’s more the risk of contamination, like I fucking hate germs, you have no idea, it baffles me as I can eat an arse hole but if someone went to take something off my plate or breathed on my food or drank out of my bottle it makes me feel sick. Like if I had 1000% reassurance that a guy would tool up if he met another bird and would keep his bareback activities to me only the sharing wouldn’t be a problem. I know it’s weird, it’s misconstrued as me being insecure but it’s not. Like what someone does is their business, I’d just rather not know about it. Thinking about another person using a guy before me grosses me out so my preference would be someone that’s exclusive to me. I’M AWARE that asking for that is selfish and weird and is asking way too much of a person that’s not a boyfriend. I wasn't being nasty but merely blunt in my assessment as i've also noticed you much rather prefer honest opinions. As to your reasons for not wanting to share, that is the weirdest explanation i've heard to date as i'm assuming the guy wouldn't do the someone else, then you back to back?? Regardless, they're your reasons and everyone is different. You're in an uncompromising situation then. You don't want a relationship, but instead want a guy around to use at your leisure and discretion without giving him the opportunity of doing similar. Good luck." Was more the last paragraph, the fact you’ve been here so long and unable to keep one in a relationship or fwb speaks volumes. That’s nasty shit and implies there’s something wrong with me. An fwb thing I’ve never really tried so can’t I’ve never consented to one only been sold the promise of a relationship by guys who just wanted to fuck me. Now if a guy wants to fuck me and only fuck me then say so and I’ll either do it or I won’t, but don’t kiss my cheek to finger my arse. It’s the deception that I’ve kicked off about. Don’t say you want something you don’t. If people were honest with their intent I’d have no issue. Now relationships I’ve only had two since I’ve been on here and I ended them both so don’t appreciate the comment about not being able to keep one. But other than that I do appreciate your honesty and bluntness. | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
"Do you know what I want OP? I want a bf/partner/husband in a monogamous relationship with me who does stuff (weddings, parties, Christmas, days out, holidays etc) but just doesn't live with me. We'd see each other regularly and chat and message lots but just not live together. I know someone who does it with her husband. It's unconventional, but so am I. I just need to find someone else equally unconventional." And herein lies the biggest issue of the lot....distance! This is what I'd like but I'll be fuxked if I can ever see it happening especially when you factor in that every once in a while I'll look like i do on here. We can all live in hope eh | |||
 | |||
"Assuming you're not looking for an actual relationship, which I suspect you might actually be, here is your dilemma: You've stated before that only 5% of men interest you, and you don't do sharing. That's fine as we all have our preferences; however this makes your objective nearly impossible. The top 5% will interest 80-90% of women similar to you. If they're not looking for a relationship, they will have no shortage of offer and therefore have no incentive to limit themselves to one person, regardless of who she might be. You've shown through your posts that you're often insecure and jealous and men smell that a mile away. Unless you're comfortable that the one guy you fancy will be seeing other women then an exclusive fwb is a pointless exercise. You might get lucky and find one, but odds are good you won't. If you can't come to grips with this then meeting people from fab is a pointless exercise. The fact you've been here that long and have met so few people and have been unable to keep one either in a relationship or a regular fwb speaks volumes. Do you have to be so nasty in the way you converse, there’s really no need for it. Yes I’m aware that what I want is impossible. Very few guys interest me that’s correct. I’m not gonna say I get jealous cos it’s not really jealousy it’s more the risk of contamination, like I fucking hate germs, you have no idea, it baffles me as I can eat an arse hole but if someone went to take something off my plate or breathed on my food or drank out of my bottle it makes me feel sick. Like if I had 1000% reassurance that a guy would tool up if he met another bird and would keep his bareback activities to me only the sharing wouldn’t be a problem. I know it’s weird, it’s misconstrued as me being insecure but it’s not. Like what someone does is their business, I’d just rather not know about it. Thinking about another person using a guy before me grosses me out so my preference would be someone that’s exclusive to me. I’M AWARE that asking for that is selfish and weird and is asking way too much of a person that’s not a boyfriend. I wasn't being nasty but merely blunt in my assessment as i've also noticed you much rather prefer honest opinions. As to your reasons for not wanting to share, that is the weirdest explanation i've heard to date as i'm assuming the guy wouldn't do the someone else, then you back to back?? Regardless, they're your reasons and everyone is different. You're in an uncompromising situation then. You don't want a relationship, but instead want a guy around to use at your leisure and discretion without giving him the opportunity of doing similar. Good luck. Was more the last paragraph, the fact you’ve been here so long and unable to keep one in a relationship or fwb speaks volumes. That’s nasty shit and implies there’s something wrong with me. An fwb thing I’ve never really tried so can’t I’ve never consented to one only been sold the promise of a relationship by guys who just wanted to fuck me. Now if a guy wants to fuck me and only fuck me then say so and I’ll either do it or I won’t, but don’t kiss my cheek to finger my arse. It’s the deception that I’ve kicked off about. Don’t say you want something you don’t. If people were honest with their intent I’d have no issue. Now relationships I’ve only had two since I’ve been on here and I ended them both so don’t appreciate the comment about not being able to keep one. But other than that I do appreciate your honesty and bluntness. " If we're constantly failing or being unsuccessful at something isn't it normal to question if at least part of the problem lies with us? Any type of relationship is a two way street and there is often blame to be thrown around at both people when it ends. To be blunt again, if you've been unsuccessful for so long part of the reason lies with you. You need to nail down what the issues with you have been and take steps to correct them, if able. | |||
| |||
"Do you know what I want OP? I want a bf/partner/husband in a monogamous relationship with me who does stuff (weddings, parties, Christmas, days out, holidays etc) but just doesn't live with me. We'd see each other regularly and chat and message lots but just not live together. I know someone who does it with her husband. It's unconventional, but so am I. I just need to find someone else equally unconventional. And herein lies the biggest issue of the lot....distance! This is what I'd like but I'll be fuxked if I can ever see it happening especially when you factor in that every once in a while I'll look like i do on here. We can all live in hope eh "Where there's hope there's......dunno, I feel there's a saying .
I think up to an hour away works.
But yes, they have to tick my boxes and me theirs.
I'm quite nice, I should be able to find someone  | |||
| |||
"Do you know what I want OP? I want a bf/partner/husband in a monogamous relationship with me who does stuff (weddings, parties, Christmas, days out, holidays etc) but just doesn't live with me. We'd see each other regularly and chat and message lots but just not live together. I know someone who does it with her husband. It's unconventional, but so am I. I just need to find someone else equally unconventional. And herein lies the biggest issue of the lot....distance! This is what I'd like but I'll be fuxked if I can ever see it happening especially when you factor in that every once in a while I'll look like i do on here. We can all live in hope eh
Where there's hope there's......dunno, I feel there's a saying .
I think up to an hour away works.
But yes, they have to tick my boxes and me theirs.
I'm quite nice, I should be able to find someone "Dammit....2 hours away so that us out of the window hahaa You are nice from what I've seen of you in the forums so you definitely have that on your side  | |||
"In 9 years you have been intimate with 6 people on here. Or do you have other skeletons you haven't told us about outside of fab? This is very public so choose your words carefully. 6 people that have been sex meets yes. I went through a phase of doing blow job and rim meets only with no sex. Actual guys I’ve slept with is 6 but they’ve all been recycled. First guy in August 2011, again in 2013. 2nd guy was from Hull but ended up seeing him for 18 months till he fucked it up by saying he was gonna move to Wales. 3rd guy was 2014, 2016, 2017, 4th guy 2017/2018 5th guy March 2019 and 6th guy this weekend just passed. " So you have had more sexual activity than 6 times...this is not to judge you but an interested party might be put off by the idea of 6 in 9. I do think you need to learn to compromise and share your home spaces a bit more it would be healthy. If you have a close friend who you could invite over for a weekend here and there it would be good practice. | |||
| |||
"I can totally relate to you OP! Sucks doesn’t it. If you were closer we could eat take aways and braid each other’s vaginas. " We could sell tickets to that show | |||
"Before you all start about how long I’ve been here so should know my shit you need to understand that in 9 years I’ve met just 6 guys that have been sex meets. After each one I’ve tweaked things to to try and minimise the post meet blues. Like the most recent one couldn’t have got a more decent guy. Was no promising shit or telling me stuff they think I want to hear. Was completely clear it was a one off cos of distance, everything left friendly. No issues there but forget the guy cos it’s not really about that, it would be the same no matter who it was. Struggling to articulate what the fuck I’m on about but like say everything is good in your life. You love your jobs, you got your child/children, got your siblings, your friends, your house, your car, everything’s ticking over and smooth no worries, you wanna do something or go somewhere there’s an abundance of people on the end of the phone to go with or have a mate or your sister round to watch telly, you even enjoy your own company and find joy in simple shit like driving to the shop or driving to work with music on, got your free gym m_mbership so can go the gym or a fitness class whenever you want. Everything is good, no dramas. Still doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s a man shaped hole in my life. Like I wouldn’t want one around me all the time, can’t fart or take a comfy dump when you want but I did enjoy the cwtching (cuddling) having a dick to suck when you want and being fucked. It’s like a closeness that only a man type can provide and I don’t like feeling that I can’t meet all my needs is what I’m saying. To use an analogy, I’m a trivial pursuit playing piece, I need all my cheese slices. Got family, entertainment, employment, environmental factors, friendship, health but always a slot missing. I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? " From my point of view as a chap (and obviously prior to the large hole in my life that I wasn't fully aware of being filled by a very unlarge P, defying the very laws of physics) I had a small circle of fwbs that offered different things. I found Fab great for this and never had any problems finding such ladies despite the protests from some that Fab is hard work, I put that down to the fact that unlike some I adore chatting at length and understanding people, along with a love of the nuances of the human brain, sharing imaginings (especially those that can be made real) and putting thoughts across in a way that conveys the message and causes a yearning to know more? I've given it thought as to what I sought from this and came to the conclusions that I had the most needed aspect of a good friendship with each, the sexual compatibility too, but also the assured understanding that we didn't have a relationship as such, aside from this they differed in what I shared with them and what they wanted from me? It also became natural over time for both myself and each of them to be chosen mutually because we both wanted the same thing. Some I had shorter meets lasting a couple of hours or such like and they usually lived closer to me to make this easier, replicating in a swinging fashion the side of being attached where close proximity and primal lust just boils over and has to be sated quickly. Some I had club visits with, the more social butterfly kind of lady to replicate the socialising that couples tend to do together. Some I had overnight stays with to replicate as best without a relationship the need to cosy up now and again which is very therapeutic, especially when feeling a little blue or just craving a closeness of that kind. This circle was by no means constant during this time, some would leave the circle and others would join that were looking for the same regard that I was. Also of course there were those outside the immediate circle that I had the odd meet with, but distance, timing etc would limit it to just that which we both understood. And while this circle couldn't possibly be a substitute for the all encompassing warmth and love that a real relationship can bring (P, you're irreplaceable my sweet!  ) I've came to realise that it did at least minimise a sense of emptiness that something was missing. Perhaps in part due to this, when myself and my good lady finally encountered each other I had no vast hunger for a relationship that I knew of (and neither did she for that matter) It was more of a case that P is, well P, and we were just so right in that regard?
B | |||
" To be blunt again, if you've been unsuccessful for so long part of the reason lies with you. You need to nail down what the issues with you have been and take steps to correct them, if able." What do you mean by “unsuccessful for so long”? Is it because I’ve only had sex with 6 guys in 9 years? | |||
" To be blunt again, if you've been unsuccessful for so long part of the reason lies with you. You need to nail down what the issues with you have been and take steps to correct them, if able. What do you mean by “unsuccessful for so long”? Is it because I’ve only had sex with 6 guys in 9 years?" This place is unreal at times, I wouldn’t answer them, wear your heart on your sleeve and see what happens, good luck I say xxx | |||
"In 9 years you have been intimate with 6 people on here. Or do you have other skeletons you haven't told us about outside of fab? This is very public so choose your words carefully. 6 people that have been sex meets yes. I went through a phase of doing blow job and rim meets only with no sex. Actual guys I’ve slept with is 6 but they’ve all been recycled. First guy in August 2011, again in 2013. 2nd guy was from Hull but ended up seeing him for 18 months till he fucked it up by saying he was gonna move to Wales. 3rd guy was 2014, 2016, 2017, 4th guy 2017/2018 5th guy March 2019 and 6th guy this weekend just passed. So you have had more sexual activity than 6 times...this is not to judge you but an interested party might be put off by the idea of 6 in 9. I do think you need to learn to compromise and share your home spaces a bit more it would be healthy. If you have a close friend who you could invite over for a weekend here and there it would be good practice." What you on about? Why would the fact I’ve only met 6 guys for sex in the last 9 years be off putting? Why exactly do I need to compromise and learn to share my home a bit more? It’s my home that I share with my child. Rarely I’ll have someone there when she’s not there. That’s her home. | |||
" To be blunt again, if you've been unsuccessful for so long part of the reason lies with you. You need to nail down what the issues with you have been and take steps to correct them, if able. What do you mean by “unsuccessful for so long”? Is it because I’ve only had sex with 6 guys in 9 years?" No. You've been unsuccessful in attaining what you want; be it a relationship or an exclusive, long lasting fb arrangement. At no point have I mentioned the amount of people you've slept with or criticised it. | |||
" To be blunt again, if you've been unsuccessful for so long part of the reason lies with you. You need to nail down what the issues with you have been and take steps to correct them, if able. What do you mean by “unsuccessful for so long”? Is it because I’ve only had sex with 6 guys in 9 years? No. You've been unsuccessful in attaining what you want; be it a relationship or an exclusive, long lasting fb arrangement. At no point have I mentioned the amount of people you've slept with or criticised it. " You can’t have an exclusive fuck buddy though cos then it would be a relationship would it not? As for relationships I’ve had two in the time I’ve been here. One guy who was from Hull who suited me at the time as I only saw him every other weekend when I went up or he came down and that lasted 18 months. When he said he was going to move to South Wales I wasn’t prepared to have someone live with me AND my daughter who was only 4 years old at the time, they’d not even met as she was always with her Dad on the weekends I saw that dude. It’s not just me I have to consider. The other guy I started seeing last year was someone I’d known since he was a child (he was 8 and a half years younger) he also had a child and worked shifts 4 days on 4 off. He’d have his child on his time off and our schedules just weren’t aligning. Out of respect of the length of time we’d known each other we did it for about 5 months but he never made me orgasm once! No matter if he’d wanked beforehand he couldn’t last more than a couple of pumps and it was easy to tell him we’re better as friends. Think it’s a bit unfair to say that I’ve been unsuccessful in attaining what I want. It’s hard being a single parent as well. I’m under no illusions that a lot of guys wouldn’t even date a single parent so I’m not really considered to be a catch when up against younger women with no responsibilities. When you add to the fact that I like really handsome fit guys who are also desirable to loads of other women it’s not really fair to say that I’m doing something wrong every time. | |||
| |||
| |||
"I sorted my relationship out with myself. I started seeing myself as whole (even with the tricky empty feelings) and stopped externalising my happiness. The idea that I needed a partner to 'complete' me fell away. I'm my own 'the one'. Once I put that perspective on things I began to attract loves. I'm polyamorous so that probably helps take away the 'singleton' feeling whilst still being single. Trust yourself OP, give out what you want to attract in .. and it will come x " amazing perspective, not sure I can do it though | |||
"Good question and probably not a solution for you but I did hear of a couple who got together in their 40s and didn't want to lose their independence and time to themselves etc. that they were used to. So they bought houses right next to each other. Then they could just pop round to each others house when they wanted a cwtch or time together and also live independently when they wanted. Thought it was a good idea!" Sounds perfect to me | |||
" can you just be my boyfriend every other weekend Friday to Sunday!
This would be the perfect solution for me too, at the moment!
You're not alone OP, I feel exactly the same. "Goes for me too | |||
| |||
| |||
"I sorted my relationship out with myself. I started seeing myself as whole (even with the tricky empty feelings) and stopped externalising my happiness. The idea that I needed a partner to 'complete' me fell away. I'm my own 'the one'. Once I put that perspective on things I began to attract loves. I'm polyamorous so that probably helps take away the 'singleton' feeling whilst still being single. Trust yourself OP, give out what you want to attract in .. and it will come x amazing perspective, not sure I can do it though" Yeah I get that! It's not for everyone... and there's alot of unravelling to do around our cultural teachings around needs and relationships in order to get to the truth of what we actually want and desire from a healthy, authentic place. Really .. the overarching perspective is that this is where it's at for me now .. at one time I wouldn't have entertained it. And it may change again. What matters is how I take care of myself and others whilst I dance with it all. Life ay | |||
| |||
" To be blunt again, if you've been unsuccessful for so long part of the reason lies with you. You need to nail down what the issues with you have been and take steps to correct them, if able. What do you mean by “unsuccessful for so long”? Is it because I’ve only had sex with 6 guys in 9 years? No. You've been unsuccessful in attaining what you want; be it a relationship or an exclusive, long lasting fb arrangement. At no point have I mentioned the amount of people you've slept with or criticised it. You can’t have an exclusive fuck buddy though cos then it would be a relationship would it not? As for relationships I’ve had two in the time I’ve been here. One guy who was from Hull who suited me at the time as I only saw him every other weekend when I went up or he came down and that lasted 18 months. When he said he was going to move to South Wales I wasn’t prepared to have someone live with me AND my daughter who was only 4 years old at the time, they’d not even met as she was always with her Dad on the weekends I saw that dude. It’s not just me I have to consider. The other guy I started seeing last year was someone I’d known since he was a child (he was 8 and a half years younger) he also had a child and worked shifts 4 days on 4 off. He’d have his child on his time off and our schedules just weren’t aligning. Out of respect of the length of time we’d known each other we did it for about 5 months but he never made me orgasm once! No matter if he’d wanked beforehand he couldn’t last more than a couple of pumps and it was easy to tell him we’re better as friends. Think it’s a bit unfair to say that I’ve been unsuccessful in attaining what I want. It’s hard being a single parent as well. I’m under no illusions that a lot of guys wouldn’t even date a single parent so I’m not really considered to be a catch when up against younger women with no responsibilities. When you add to the fact that I like really handsome fit guys who are also desirable to loads of other women it’s not really fair to say that I’m doing something wrong every time. " People have exclusive fb's who manage to avoid the pitfalls of deeper emotional attachment. You see this often mentioned on the forums. How is it unfair? For whatever reason you clearly haven't been successful in attaining what you want. Otherwise you wouldn't have posted this. Is it unfair to call a spade a spade? It's not an accusation or attack, merely a statement of fact based on what you've put out there. I never said you did something wrong every time either. I merely stated that you're not entirely blameless in this whole scenario. In any case, i've said what I thought and though i'm being blunt and direct, it's not with a purpose of attacking you. I genuinely hope you get your issues sorted and find that elusive balance | |||
| |||
| |||
" To be blunt again, if you've been unsuccessful for so long part of the reason lies with you. You need to nail down what the issues with you have been and take steps to correct them, if able. What do you mean by “unsuccessful for so long”? Is it because I’ve only had sex with 6 guys in 9 years? No. You've been unsuccessful in attaining what you want; be it a relationship or an exclusive, long lasting fb arrangement. At no point have I mentioned the amount of people you've slept with or criticised it. You can’t have an exclusive fuck buddy though cos then it would be a relationship would it not? As for relationships I’ve had two in the time I’ve been here. One guy who was from Hull who suited me at the time as I only saw him every other weekend when I went up or he came down and that lasted 18 months. When he said he was going to move to South Wales I wasn’t prepared to have someone live with me AND my daughter who was only 4 years old at the time, they’d not even met as she was always with her Dad on the weekends I saw that dude. It’s not just me I have to consider. The other guy I started seeing last year was someone I’d known since he was a child (he was 8 and a half years younger) he also had a child and worked shifts 4 days on 4 off. He’d have his child on his time off and our schedules just weren’t aligning. Out of respect of the length of time we’d known each other we did it for about 5 months but he never made me orgasm once! No matter if he’d wanked beforehand he couldn’t last more than a couple of pumps and it was easy to tell him we’re better as friends. Think it’s a bit unfair to say that I’ve been unsuccessful in attaining what I want. It’s hard being a single parent as well. I’m under no illusions that a lot of guys wouldn’t even date a single parent so I’m not really considered to be a catch when up against younger women with no responsibilities. When you add to the fact that I like really handsome fit guys who are also desirable to loads of other women it’s not really fair to say that I’m doing something wrong every time. People have exclusive fb's who manage to avoid the pitfalls of deeper emotional attachment. You see this often mentioned on the forums. How is it unfair? For whatever reason you clearly haven't been successful in attaining what you want. Otherwise you wouldn't have posted this. Is it unfair to call a spade a spade? It's not an accusation or attack, merely a statement of fact based on what you've put out there. I never said you did something wrong every time either. I merely stated that you're not entirely blameless in this whole scenario. In any case, i've said what I thought and though i'm being blunt and direct, it's not with a purpose of attacking you. I genuinely hope you get your issues sorted and find that elusive balance "This is so true women are quick to pass the blame, sometimes ladies you are the problem you just can't see it or don't want to acknowledge it | |||
"Do you know what I want OP? I want a bf/partner/husband in a monogamous relationship with me who does stuff (weddings, parties, Christmas, days out, holidays etc) but just doesn't live with me. We'd see each other regularly and chat and message lots but just not live together. I know someone who does it with her husband. It's unconventional, but so am I. I just need to find someone else equally unconventional. And herein lies the biggest issue of the lot....distance! This is what I'd like but I'll be fuxked if I can ever see it happening especially when you factor in that every once in a while I'll look like i do on here. We can all live in hope eh
Where there's hope there's......dunno, I feel there's a saying .
I think up to an hour away works.
But yes, they have to tick my boxes and me theirs.
I'm quite nice, I should be able to find someone
Dammit....2 hours away so that us out of the window hahaa
You are nice from what I've seen of you in the forums so you definitely have that on your side "Thank you. That's really lovely. You've made me smile | |||
| |||
"Before you all start about how long I’ve been here so should know my shit you need to understand that in 9 years I’ve met just 6 guys that have been sex meets. After each one I’ve tweaked things to to try and minimise the post meet blues. Like the most recent one couldn’t have got a more decent guy. Was no promising shit or telling me stuff they think I want to hear. Was completely clear it was a one off cos of distance, everything left friendly. No issues there but forget the guy cos it’s not really about that, it would be the same no matter who it was. Struggling to articulate what the fuck I’m on about but like say everything is good in your life. You love your jobs, you got your child/children, got your siblings, your friends, your house, your car, everything’s ticking over and smooth no worries, you wanna do something or go somewhere there’s an abundance of people on the end of the phone to go with or have a mate or your sister round to watch telly, you even enjoy your own company and find joy in simple shit like driving to the shop or driving to work with music on, got your free gym m_mbership so can go the gym or a fitness class whenever you want. Everything is good, no dramas. Still doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s a man shaped hole in my life. Like I wouldn’t want one around me all the time, can’t fart or take a comfy dump when you want but I did enjoy the cwtching (cuddling) having a dick to suck when you want and being fucked. It’s like a closeness that only a man type can provide and I don’t like feeling that I can’t meet all my needs is what I’m saying. To use an analogy, I’m a trivial pursuit playing piece, I need all my cheese slices. Got family, entertainment, employment, environmental factors, friendship, health but always a slot missing. I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? " 100% get what you mean. My life is the same, except I really miss a regular guy in my life. Hope you find something that stops that ache x | |||
" 100% get what you mean. My life is the same, except I really miss a regular guy in my life. Hope you find something that stops that ache x" Hope you do too. It’s not so much an ache for me, was just a reminder that I like male company and regular sex but who doesn’t! Need to find an honest trustworthy local guy for my free weekends. | |||
| |||
" I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? " It is hard OP, I completely understand. I don't know if I have found the right balance, but I am happy. After my divorce I was adamant that I didn't want anything that came with feelings, my children are my priority and I actually like myself a lot more when I'm single. I have now realised that there is nothing wrong with feelings but I do have boundaries and discuss expectations in advance. I still don't want a traditional relationship, cannot think of anything worse (for me). I also get every other weekend off, some I spend with friends, some alone and when I'm lucky and the planets align I get the intimacy, the spooning and the best morning sex ever. Is it balanced? Probably not, but for me it is more than enough. Yes there is also the odd moment that I wish I had more of it all, but I chose this when I decided that this is the right lifestyle for me. Best of luck, I hope you will soon find what you're looking for! | |||
| |||
| |||
"Love how women get the blame and are considered the problem. " It's certainly a very convenient narrative. | |||
"Love how women get the blame and are considered the problem. It's certainly a very convenient narrative." Easier for them to blame the woman there is alot of selfish men on here tho | |||
"Love how women get the blame and are considered the problem. It's certainly a very convenient narrative. Easier for them to blame the woman there is alot of selfish men on here tho "Absolutely. I'm quite happy to look to my own role in my own happiness and relationships. I do. But discarding problems by saying it's a female problem is just... ugh cringe. It's 2020, responsibility goes in all directions nowadays. | |||
"Love how women get the blame and are considered the problem. It's certainly a very convenient narrative. Easier for them to blame the woman there is alot of selfish men on here tho " | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Just found this thread and it’s quite apt for where I am at the moment. Been on Fab for 4 years, have taken time out for Nilla relationships but they never fulfilled my needs. Something happened quite recently which left me so down, open to hurt and questioning my lifestyle decisions. Thankfully I’d just started seeing a new fwb and i’ll be totally honest... he’s come along at just the right time for me. He’s shown me so many good things, we’ve laughed til my face hurts and then laughed some more. The ‘click’ was almost instantaneous! As it stands at the moment I don’t want to meet anyone else, i’m in a really good place all round and I honestly never thought i would find that here x Sometimes people come along when you least expect it and by being amazingly kind and loving, they show you how bad you were treated previously! Fate? Maybe Life lessons? Definitely xx" | |||
| |||
"Love how women get the blame and are considered the problem. It's certainly a very convenient narrative. Easier for them to blame the woman there is alot of selfish men on here tho "I don’t think anyone has said women are to blame, more look at ourselves and realise what you really want, what works for you with the free time you have. Then be patient until someone comes along who suits that If you keep going for the wrong person, as they don’t really fit your criteria but it’s a quick fix, you’re never going to feel good about yourself and the meets you have. I’m a single mum and get every other weekend to myself and the odd day during the week. I’m very clear about this and what I’m looking for from this experience when I talk to someone; they have to be patient, as other friendships need my time too; if I know they are looking for regular it’s a no, as I can’t give them that, once a month is more realistic or a bigger time gap. The right person will understand your needs and fit with them, as long as it works for them too Same applies for men as well.... all be clear what you want and just maybe there wouldn’t be so many upset people on here That my tuppence worth | |||
" Sometimes people come along when you least expect it and by being amazingly kind and loving, they show you how bad you were treated previously! Fate? Maybe Life lessons? Definitely xx" Completely agree with you, beautifully said! The right person sometimes comes when you least expect it and everything just falls into place! | |||
"Love how women get the blame and are considered the problem. It's certainly a very convenient narrative. Easier for them to blame the woman there is alot of selfish men on here tho
I don’t think anyone has said women are to blame, more look at ourselves and realise what you really want, what works for you with the free time you have. Then be patient until someone comes along who suits that
If you keep going for the wrong person, as they don’t really fit your criteria but it’s a quick fix, you’re never going to feel good about yourself and the meets you have.
I’m a single mum and get every other weekend to myself and the odd day during the week. I’m very clear about this and what I’m looking for from this experience when I talk to someone; they have to be patient, as other friendships need my time too; if I know they are looking for regular it’s a no, as I can’t give them that, once a month is more realistic or a bigger time gap.
The right person will understand your needs and fit with them, as long as it works for them too
Same applies for men as well.... all be clear what you want and just maybe there wouldn’t be so many upset people on here
That my tuppence worth "Well yes. It's not really a question of "blame". It's up to each individual to decide what they want and what compromises you are willing to make. The laws of probability are a bitch though. If you want a very specific sort of person and aren't willing to compromise that, you're likely to stay single. | |||
| |||
"After being pissed about on here and the awful beings at swinger clubs sex toys are the key for me at least that way I will cum. I've found there are no decent guys out there for me be it an FWB set up or a long term relationship. I've been let down too often and I do not need any more of it. Despite all of that I do miss sucking on a hard cock. Oh well. " Well i think thats awful shame on the lot of them i say your great end of. | |||
Occasionally it gets me down but I understand it is a difficult need to fulfil. | |||
"I know exactly what you mean... I'm a single Mum, left an abusive relationship nearly a year ago now. I adore my independence but I miss intimacy... Not just sex, I've had great meets from here but someone to hug me when things have been shit and to say 'everything's going to be ok'. Someone to chill and watch a film with and enjoy a takeaway. Someone to be the big spoon occasionally... But at the same time I can't cope with needyness or wouldn't want something too regular.
Occasionally it gets me down but I understand it is a difficult need to fulfil. "isnt that what good friends do... or for me anyway. I have mates that I can go to when I'm having a bad day... or just chill and watch a movie. But I do prefer my own company for things like the cinema x | |||
"I know exactly what you mean... I'm a single Mum, left an abusive relationship nearly a year ago now. I adore my independence but I miss intimacy... Not just sex, I've had great meets from here but someone to hug me when things have been shit and to say 'everything's going to be ok'. Someone to chill and watch a film with and enjoy a takeaway. Someone to be the big spoon occasionally... But at the same time I can't cope with needyness or wouldn't want something too regular.
Occasionally it gets me down but I understand it is a difficult need to fulfil. isnt that what good friends do... or for me anyway. I have mates that I can go to when I'm having a bad day... or just chill and watch a movie. But I do prefer my own company for things like the cinema x "Well yeah, I've got great friends don't get me wrong but for me there's just something about a guy hug or spending time with a guy that's different to a female. X | |||
"I know exactly what you mean... I'm a single Mum, left an abusive relationship nearly a year ago now. I adore my independence but I miss intimacy... Not just sex, I've had great meets from here but someone to hug me when things have been shit and to say 'everything's going to be ok'. Someone to chill and watch a film with and enjoy a takeaway. Someone to be the big spoon occasionally... But at the same time I can't cope with needyness or wouldn't want something too regular.
Occasionally it gets me down but I understand it is a difficult need to fulfil. isnt that what good friends do... or for me anyway. I have mates that I can go to when I'm having a bad day... or just chill and watch a movie. But I do prefer my own company for things like the cinema x
Well yeah, I've got great friends don't get me wrong but for me there's just something about a guy hug or spending time with a guy that's different to a female. X"Yeah, cuddles off your child fill your heart completely but I still crave intimacy from a guy. Every aspect of my life is good and have amazing friends and family. Constantly around people but it’s not the same as having a guy to watch a movie with and spoon with in bed. It’s all that shit I miss. | |||
"I know exactly what you mean... I'm a single Mum, left an abusive relationship nearly a year ago now. I adore my independence but I miss intimacy... Not just sex, I've had great meets from here but someone to hug me when things have been shit and to say 'everything's going to be ok'. Someone to chill and watch a film with and enjoy a takeaway. Someone to be the big spoon occasionally... But at the same time I can't cope with needyness or wouldn't want something too regular.
Occasionally it gets me down but I understand it is a difficult need to fulfil. isnt that what good friends do... or for me anyway. I have mates that I can go to when I'm having a bad day... or just chill and watch a movie. But I do prefer my own company for things like the cinema x
Well yeah, I've got great friends don't get me wrong but for me there's just something about a guy hug or spending time with a guy that's different to a female. X
Yeah, cuddles off your child fill your heart completely but I still crave intimacy from a guy. Every aspect of my life is good and have amazing friends and family. Constantly around people but it’s not the same as having a guy to watch a movie with and spoon with in bed. It’s all that shit I miss. "Absolutely, I get you and feel the same. | |||
"I know exactly what you mean... I'm a single Mum, left an abusive relationship nearly a year ago now. I adore my independence but I miss intimacy... Not just sex, I've had great meets from here but someone to hug me when things have been shit and to say 'everything's going to be ok'. Someone to chill and watch a film with and enjoy a takeaway. Someone to be the big spoon occasionally... But at the same time I can't cope with needyness or wouldn't want something too regular.
Occasionally it gets me down but I understand it is a difficult need to fulfil. isnt that what good friends do... or for me anyway. I have mates that I can go to when I'm having a bad day... or just chill and watch a movie. But I do prefer my own company for things like the cinema x
Well yeah, I've got great friends don't get me wrong but for me there's just something about a guy hug or spending time with a guy that's different to a female. X
Yeah, cuddles off your child fill your heart completely but I still crave intimacy from a guy. Every aspect of my life is good and have amazing friends and family. Constantly around people but it’s not the same as having a guy to watch a movie with and spoon with in bed. It’s all that shit I miss.
Absolutely, I get you and feel the same. "Tell me you girls in this thread do realise that there are guys out there who miss this stuff too and would love nothing more than finding a woman to have this with? And no I dont mean the ones who turn a snuggle on the sofa to sex every time. | |||
" Tell me you girls in this thread do realise that there are guys out there who miss this stuff too and would love nothing more than finding a woman to have this with? And no I dont mean the ones who turn a snuggle on the sofa to sex every time." Sure. Finding them is the problem. | |||
| |||
| |||
"I know exactly what you mean... I'm a single Mum, left an abusive relationship nearly a year ago now. I adore my independence but I miss intimacy... Not just sex, I've had great meets from here but someone to hug me when things have been shit and to say 'everything's going to be ok'. Someone to chill and watch a film with and enjoy a takeaway. Someone to be the big spoon occasionally... But at the same time I can't cope with needyness or wouldn't want something too regular.
Occasionally it gets me down but I understand it is a difficult need to fulfil. "Yep totally get that myself miss the company. Glad you got out of your abusive relationship too any guy who abuses there partner should be put in jail in my view.
We all need someone to be there for us its shit being single sometimes | |||
| |||
"Thanks Randy... Just a suspended sentence for my ex unfortunately despite me being his 6th victim. "My god our justice system is just shocking hun  | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"It's the connection... Yes. Naturally, it's a different connection with a man I'm interested in than with friends." I find myself at an age where there’s nothing. So a connection is exactly what I want. I agree. A connection with a mate would mean slightly different things than with a woman, but essentially it’s the feeling of being something to them and them being something to me. That’s what’s missing. | |||
"Hi ppl I'm single been on here a while n get really nervous n my anxiety kick in about meeting new ppl I'm just looking for social meets to ease myself to meeting new ppl n get a social life please help any advice would be appreciated " I get anxiety myself especially when meeting someone new i find breathing exercises helps i have an app on phone for that and also playing meditation music helps. But Ultimately dont let anyone force to do anything your not comfortable with and go at your pace. | |||
"It's the connection... Yes. Naturally, it's a different connection with a man I'm interested in than with friends. I find myself at an age where there’s nothing. So a connection is exactly what I want. I agree. A connection with a mate would mean slightly different things than with a woman, but essentially it’s the feeling of being something to them and them being something to me. That’s what’s missing. " Yep same here so want that permanent connection in my life now just have to wait a bit longer than i thought for it | |||
| |||
"Before you all start about how long I’ve been here so should know my shit you need to understand that in 9 years I’ve met just 6 guys that have been sex meets. After each one I’ve tweaked things to to try and minimise the post meet blues. Like the most recent one couldn’t have got a more decent guy. Was no promising shit or telling me stuff they think I want to hear. Was completely clear it was a one off cos of distance, everything left friendly. No issues there but forget the guy cos it’s not really about that, it would be the same no matter who it was. Struggling to articulate what the fuck I’m on about but like say everything is good in your life. You love your jobs, you got your child/children, got your siblings, your friends, your house, your car, everything’s ticking over and smooth no worries, you wanna do something or go somewhere there’s an abundance of people on the end of the phone to go with or have a mate or your sister round to watch telly, you even enjoy your own company and find joy in simple shit like driving to the shop or driving to work with music on, got your free gym m_mbership so can go the gym or a fitness class whenever you want. Everything is good, no dramas. Still doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s a man shaped hole in my life. Like I wouldn’t want one around me all the time, can’t fart or take a comfy dump when you want but I did enjoy the cwtching (cuddling) having a dick to suck when you want and being fucked. It’s like a closeness that only a man type can provide and I don’t like feeling that I can’t meet all my needs is what I’m saying. To use an analogy, I’m a trivial pursuit playing piece, I need all my cheese slices. Got family, entertainment, employment, environmental factors, friendship, health but always a slot missing. I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? " The problem is after a meet you realise all the things you miss about being in a relationship such as kissing, cuddling, sex on tap kind of, having somebody to laugh with, having somebody to confide in, etc. You realise you are lonely. | |||
"‘Tis fucking hard. Like I think I’d be offended if a guy said I only want you around when I’ve got free time. For me it’s every other weekend, like how do you say to a guy, look I’ve got things to do but I’d rather be doing you when I’ve got free time. I’d gone almost 3 months without any male contact and even though you’re ok without it, when you do have it it makes you think yeah I miss the sex and the spooning shit. Yeah it’s just fucking hard like. " If you are upfront on your profile and say what you are looking for I think you will find what you want. Also if you are upfront about what you want no guy can complain as you are being clear what you want/are offering. | |||
"Before you all start about how long I’ve been here so should know my shit you need to understand that in 9 years I’ve met just 6 guys that have been sex meets. After each one I’ve tweaked things to to try and minimise the post meet blues. Like the most recent one couldn’t have got a more decent guy. Was no promising shit or telling me stuff they think I want to hear. Was completely clear it was a one off cos of distance, everything left friendly. No issues there but forget the guy cos it’s not really about that, it would be the same no matter who it was. Struggling to articulate what the fuck I’m on about but like say everything is good in your life. You love your jobs, you got your child/children, got your siblings, your friends, your house, your car, everything’s ticking over and smooth no worries, you wanna do something or go somewhere there’s an abundance of people on the end of the phone to go with or have a mate or your sister round to watch telly, you even enjoy your own company and find joy in simple shit like driving to the shop or driving to work with music on, got your free gym m_mbership so can go the gym or a fitness class whenever you want. Everything is good, no dramas. Still doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s a man shaped hole in my life. Like I wouldn’t want one around me all the time, can’t fart or take a comfy dump when you want but I did enjoy the cwtching (cuddling) having a dick to suck when you want and being fucked. It’s like a closeness that only a man type can provide and I don’t like feeling that I can’t meet all my needs is what I’m saying. To use an analogy, I’m a trivial pursuit playing piece, I need all my cheese slices. Got family, entertainment, employment, environmental factors, friendship, health but always a slot missing. I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? The problem is after a meet you realise all the things you miss about being in a relationship such as kissing, cuddling, sex on tap kind of, having somebody to laugh with, having somebody to confide in, etc. You realise you are lonely. " Totally this sex is good but you feel empty and lonely afterwards Just hope i can find someone in this year x | |||
| |||
"Before you all start about how long I’ve been here so should know my shit you need to understand that in 9 years I’ve met just 6 guys that have been sex meets. After each one I’ve tweaked things to to try and minimise the post meet blues. Like the most recent one couldn’t have got a more decent guy. Was no promising shit or telling me stuff they think I want to hear. Was completely clear it was a one off cos of distance, everything left friendly. No issues there but forget the guy cos it’s not really about that, it would be the same no matter who it was. Struggling to articulate what the fuck I’m on about but like say everything is good in your life. You love your jobs, you got your child/children, got your siblings, your friends, your house, your car, everything’s ticking over and smooth no worries, you wanna do something or go somewhere there’s an abundance of people on the end of the phone to go with or have a mate or your sister round to watch telly, you even enjoy your own company and find joy in simple shit like driving to the shop or driving to work with music on, got your free gym m_mbership so can go the gym or a fitness class whenever you want. Everything is good, no dramas. Still doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s a man shaped hole in my life. Like I wouldn’t want one around me all the time, can’t fart or take a comfy dump when you want but I did enjoy the cwtching (cuddling) having a dick to suck when you want and being fucked. It’s like a closeness that only a man type can provide and I don’t like feeling that I can’t meet all my needs is what I’m saying. To use an analogy, I’m a trivial pursuit playing piece, I need all my cheese slices. Got family, entertainment, employment, environmental factors, friendship, health but always a slot missing. I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? " In a nutshell... the short answer is, I don't. There are aspects of being single that I love but on the whole there is a female shaped hole in my life, but having said that I'm not desperate to fill it either. | |||
| |||
"Do you know what I want OP? I want a bf/partner/husband in a monogamous relationship with me who does stuff (weddings, parties, Christmas, days out, holidays etc) but just doesn't live with me. We'd see each other regularly and chat and message lots but just not live together. I know someone who does it with her husband. It's unconventional, but so am I. I just need to find someone else equally unconventional." Mr and I have been married 12yrs. He has his house I have mine. Normally we stay at mine and play at his but if we need time apart he goes home. We dont do the monogamous part as we enjoy sharing each other but to get to a point were we enjoy our life in an unconventional way it has taken compromise,trust and communication. Regardless of the type of relationship these things have to come into the dynamics. There is no such thing as the perfect man or women and no 1 is promised that there soul mate will fall into your lap. Nobody is suggesting sleeping with the whole site but maybe meeting with people out with your 5%. If your basing attraction on pictures maybe time to change things up you may find people personalities are more attractive than a few pictures xx | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Before you all start about how long I’ve been here so should know my shit you need to understand that in 9 years I’ve met just 6 guys that have been sex meets. After each one I’ve tweaked things to to try and minimise the post meet blues. Like the most recent one couldn’t have got a more decent guy. Was no promising shit or telling me stuff they think I want to hear. Was completely clear it was a one off cos of distance, everything left friendly. No issues there but forget the guy cos it’s not really about that, it would be the same no matter who it was. Struggling to articulate what the fuck I’m on about but like say everything is good in your life. You love your jobs, you got your child/children, got your siblings, your friends, your house, your car, everything’s ticking over and smooth no worries, you wanna do something or go somewhere there’s an abundance of people on the end of the phone to go with or have a mate or your sister round to watch telly, you even enjoy your own company and find joy in simple shit like driving to the shop or driving to work with music on, got your free gym m_mbership so can go the gym or a fitness class whenever you want. Everything is good, no dramas. Still doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s a man shaped hole in my life. Like I wouldn’t want one around me all the time, can’t fart or take a comfy dump when you want but I did enjoy the cwtching (cuddling) having a dick to suck when you want and being fucked. It’s like a closeness that only a man type can provide and I don’t like feeling that I can’t meet all my needs is what I’m saying. To use an analogy, I’m a trivial pursuit playing piece, I need all my cheese slices. Got family, entertainment, employment, environmental factors, friendship, health but always a slot missing. I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? " Regular FB x 3 only accept those who can snuggle all night, by morning you'll be cool to say bye til next time. | |||
| |||
"Before you all start about how long I’ve been here so should know my shit you need to understand that in 9 years I’ve met just 6 guys that have been sex meets. After each one I’ve tweaked things to to try and minimise the post meet blues. Like the most recent one couldn’t have got a more decent guy. Was no promising shit or telling me stuff they think I want to hear. Was completely clear it was a one off cos of distance, everything left friendly. No issues there but forget the guy cos it’s not really about that, it would be the same no matter who it was. Struggling to articulate what the fuck I’m on about but like say everything is good in your life. You love your jobs, you got your child/children, got your siblings, your friends, your house, your car, everything’s ticking over and smooth no worries, you wanna do something or go somewhere there’s an abundance of people on the end of the phone to go with or have a mate or your sister round to watch telly, you even enjoy your own company and find joy in simple shit like driving to the shop or driving to work with music on, got your free gym m_mbership so can go the gym or a fitness class whenever you want. Everything is good, no dramas. Still doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s a man shaped hole in my life. Like I wouldn’t want one around me all the time, can’t fart or take a comfy dump when you want but I did enjoy the cwtching (cuddling) having a dick to suck when you want and being fucked. It’s like a closeness that only a man type can provide and I don’t like feeling that I can’t meet all my needs is what I’m saying. To use an analogy, I’m a trivial pursuit playing piece, I need all my cheese slices. Got family, entertainment, employment, environmental factors, friendship, health but always a slot missing. I don’t want a boyfriend couldn’t cope and get bored but how do the single folk manage to fulfil that area of sex and human closeness without feeling a bit empty afterwards? Is the solution to always have your finger in multiple pies so you just get on with planning who to meet next cos that’s a hell of a lot of effort to continuously find people that tick all the boxes. Then there’s the risk of meeting too much that one person starts to get feelings. How do the single people amongst us get the right balance? " It is a tough one indeed. There are days I'm completely fine with it but then there are times I crave the company. Just to have another adult to talk to about work and to bounce some ideas off. I deal with it a lot better than I used to but I completely understand how you feel. You are not alone | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
" can you just be my boyfriend every other weekend Friday to Sunday!
This would be the perfect solution for me too, at the moment!
You're not alone OP, I feel exactly the same.
Goes for me too"Me three. I enjoy having my space but do enjoy female company sometimes. As said whether it's kissing and cuddling while watching a film or the full treatment, sometimes the first leads to the second
Had a fwb but timings never worked and she recently found her "one" | |||
