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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all! I’m looking to learn more about being dominant, and I don’t mean in the porn way of just physical abuse, I’m interested in the psychology of it all, ladies, what can men do outside the bedroom that can lay these foundations?
I’m looking at small actions, a leading hand on the small of your back, a small lip bite during a kiss, all of these little things that can drive up the tension.
And once in the bedroom, what can I do to be more dominant that doesn’t necessarily involve pounding you for 20 minutes?
Any good books on this matter anyone would recommend? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi
One of the best books when starting out is 'screw the roses, send me the thorns' as it looks both at practical bdsm and the sexual psychology of D/s relationships.
That said there is no one size fits all and when you have a partner you want to introduce an element of kink then discussion and comunication are critical.
Swinging and fetish exist in parallel with some crossover and when we can all socialise again, lots of fetish clubs and events/socials to explore |
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Are you naturally dominant - decisive , leading ? Are you confident choosing her meal and wine , clothes, make up and not worried you would fuck it up ? Do you plan for your / her future , protect her and take care of things ?
I’d start there. Once you get all that right she’ll will trust you. They way you touch her is just is an expression of how you feel |
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"
And once in the bedroom, what can I do to be more dominant that doesn’t necessarily involve pounding you for 20 minutes?
"
WTF ? Are you serious ?
She’s unlikely to let you tie up and deny her orgasms unless you know you are doing, in life, with her mind and then finally with a length of rope  ... probably the hardest part !!!!
I’ll set you 2 things to practice :
Buy her underwear , shoes and clothes - be brave, do you even know her sizes? . Many men don’t, are are surprised when even I know their partners sizes!!
Walk in underwear store (after lockdown) go straight up to the hottest assistant, look her in the eyes and tell her exactly what you want - sizes, fabric, colour, style - you don’t need to browse sheepishly like those betas who feel like perverts
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The best place to start in my opinion is with the woman you want to do this with. Read books together and discuss the dynamic that is personal to the two of you.
I recommend screw the roses send me the the thorns too.
Enjoy your journey  |
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