FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Would it be a dealbreaker that...
Would it be a dealbreaker that...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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... I've never had a boyfriend? I turned 26 a couple of days ago and obviously all my friends are settling down, getting married, buying houses, having babies etc. I've dated a little but it's just never gone beyond that for me... Dating is incredibly difficult as it is as 99% of men just seem to want sex, and then most of those aren't attracted to big girls. Or they'd sleep with big girls but wouldn't date them. Obviously it's not my top priority at the moment as I have far more important goals to work on, but I'd be lying if I said it's not something I worry about. I feel like the longer I stay single for the more of a dealbreaker it will become that I haven't had any experience with relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not in the slightest! Most of the people I know are doing further ahead in their lives but as long as you’re having fun and confident with it then you do you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nay worry lass. Just because someone has had a few relationships doesn't mean they are any good at them.
There's someone for everyone out there you'll find what your looking for when your not even looking for it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I share your fears although my circumstances are a bit different. I got married at 17 because I was pregnant. I was in a miserable marriage for 10 years until I got divorced. I've been single almost 11 years. Now that my sons are older I realise I do want a relationship but the sad reality is I have no clue how. I've spent the last 10 years either being a friend, a fuck buddy or the other woman. Which has suited me in many ways because I didn't want to bring anyone in to my boys lives.
Now I think it might be too late |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is never a deal breaker. People start relationships with people they like instead of their body/relationship count.
This is a thought you have of how others see you, which is far from the truth.
Happy birthday and stay awesome  |
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"... I've never had a boyfriend? I turned 26 a couple of days ago and obviously all my friends are settling down, getting married, buying houses, having babies etc. I've dated a little but it's just never gone beyond that for me... Dating is incredibly difficult as it is as 99% of men just seem to want sex, and then most of those aren't attracted to big girls. Or they'd sleep with big girls but wouldn't date them. Obviously it's not my top priority at the moment as I have far more important goals to work on, but I'd be lying if I said it's not something I worry about. I feel like the longer I stay single for the more of a dealbreaker it will become that I haven't had any experience with relationships. "
A deal breaker on fab? Most people aren't looking for a relationship on fab so no, I don't think it would hinder your chances.
In wider life I don't see why it should either. You do have experience of relationships, you're a daughter, a friend,a colleague, you were part of a class at school that all involved relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I share your fears although my circumstances are a bit different. I got married at 17 because I was pregnant. I was in a miserable marriage for 10 years until I got divorced. I've been single almost 11 years. Now that my sons are older I realise I do want a relationship but the sad reality is I have no clue how. I've spent the last 10 years either being a friend, a fuck buddy or the other woman. Which has suited me in many ways because I didn't want to bring anyone in to my boys lives.
Now I think it might be too late "
Its never too late.
Your how old?  |
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"I share your fears although my circumstances are a bit different. I got married at 17 because I was pregnant. I was in a miserable marriage for 10 years until I got divorced. I've been single almost 11 years. Now that my sons are older I realise I do want a relationship but the sad reality is I have no clue how. I've spent the last 10 years either being a friend, a fuck buddy or the other woman. Which has suited me in many ways because I didn't want to bring anyone in to my boys lives.
Now I think it might be too late "
You do know how, you know how to be a friend, a romantic relationship is a deep friendship with sex.  |
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By *ubsteffTV/TS
over a year ago
Portsmouth |
"I share your fears although my circumstances are a bit different. I got married at 17 because I was pregnant. I was in a miserable marriage for 10 years until I got divorced. I've been single almost 11 years. Now that my sons are older I realise I do want a relationship but the sad reality is I have no clue how. I've spent the last 10 years either being a friend, a fuck buddy or the other woman. Which has suited me in many ways because I didn't want to bring anyone in to my boys lives.
Now I think it might be too late "
Never too late sweetheart. Never give up hope!
Ps. Cracking boobs x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for your kind words everyone.
I guess what I was trying to say (without actually saying it) was that I'm finding it hard to envisage anyone ever wanting me for more than just sex, because it hasn't exactly happened so far. |
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"Thank you for your kind words everyone.
I guess what I was trying to say (without actually saying it) was that I'm finding it hard to envisage anyone ever wanting me for more than just sex, because it hasn't exactly happened so far. "
Then you need to stop having sex with people until you know each other a bit. Not for any old fashioned reasons of saving yourself or anything like that but to learn that people will value you for yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you for your kind words everyone.
I guess what I was trying to say (without actually saying it) was that I'm finding it hard to envisage anyone ever wanting me for more than just sex, because it hasn't exactly happened so far. "
Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't. Be patient. Good things will happen to you don't worry |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you for your kind words everyone.
I guess what I was trying to say (without actually saying it) was that I'm finding it hard to envisage anyone ever wanting me for more than just sex, because it hasn't exactly happened so far.
Then you need to stop having sex with people until you know each other a bit. Not for any old fashioned reasons of saving yourself or anything like that but to learn that people will value you for yourself."
That's so much easier said than done though... Even on the traditional dating apps and sites I could talk about my interests, hopes and dreams until I'm blue in the face but all guys ever want to know about is sex. Even arranging drinks etc they expect you to be up for going back to theirs after. Besides it's not like I don't want to have sex. I'm still meeting off here (pre/post lockdown obviously) because I enjoy sex and connecting with people. I know I won't find a partner off here, it's just difficult in general to know who likes you for you, you know? I don't know, I'm rambling now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your 26 plenty of time.
I'm 46. Last time I had a boyfriend I was 25 and I worry I'm not "dateable", never been in love, never been told I'm loved but I have plenty of friends so I know I'm not awful lol. I hope there is someone out there for me
And if not so what, life is so short and I have spent too many years wondering am I good enough, hiding the real me to fit in. To hell with that anymore.
Enjoy your 20s girl. I was a single mum at 19 and literally put my life on hold till last year. |
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"Thank you for your kind words everyone.
I guess what I was trying to say (without actually saying it) was that I'm finding it hard to envisage anyone ever wanting me for more than just sex, because it hasn't exactly happened so far.
Then you need to stop having sex with people until you know each other a bit. Not for any old fashioned reasons of saving yourself or anything like that but to learn that people will value you for yourself.
That's so much easier said than done though... Even on the traditional dating apps and sites I could talk about my interests, hopes and dreams until I'm blue in the face but all guys ever want to know about is sex. Even arranging drinks etc they expect you to be up for going back to theirs after. Besides it's not like I don't want to have sex. I'm still meeting off here (pre/post lockdown obviously) because I enjoy sex and connecting with people. I know I won't find a partner off here, it's just difficult in general to know who likes you for you, you know? I don't know, I'm rambling now "
I
Ok. I'm really out of touch with dating apps because I don't need to use them but it was no different when I was your age, guys still encouraged you to go back to theirs and have sex, most of the time I did  . But I didn't go because they expected it I went because I wanted to. What I'm saying is if you feel that all men want you for is sex you need to break the cycle. If you're using fab just for sex though and not expecting a relationship aren't you meeting just for sex too? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you for your kind words everyone.
I guess what I was trying to say (without actually saying it) was that I'm finding it hard to envisage anyone ever wanting me for more than just sex, because it hasn't exactly happened so far.
Then you need to stop having sex with people until you know each other a bit. Not for any old fashioned reasons of saving yourself or anything like that but to learn that people will value you for yourself.
That's so much easier said than done though... Even on the traditional dating apps and sites I could talk about my interests, hopes and dreams until I'm blue in the face but all guys ever want to know about is sex. Even arranging drinks etc they expect you to be up for going back to theirs after. Besides it's not like I don't want to have sex. I'm still meeting off here (pre/post lockdown obviously) because I enjoy sex and connecting with people. I know I won't find a partner off here, it's just difficult in general to know who likes you for you, you know? I don't know, I'm rambling now I
Ok. I'm really out of touch with dating apps because I don't need to use them but it was no different when I was your age, guys still encouraged you to go back to theirs and have sex, most of the time I did . But I didn't go because they expected it I went because I wanted to. What I'm saying is if you feel that all men want you for is sex you need to break the cycle. If you're using fab just for sex though and not expecting a relationship aren't you meeting just for sex too?"
I'd definitely be open to taking it further and dating someone off here, I'm just saying I'm under no illusion that I'll find that on here, where the majority is just trying to have sex. That's why I'm using dating apps too. I don't want to put my sex life totally on hold while I try to find a relationship, I still have needs haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your 26 plenty of time.
I'm 46. Last time I had a boyfriend I was 25 and I worry I'm not "dateable", never been in love, never been told I'm loved but I have plenty of friends so I know I'm not awful lol. I hope there is someone out there for me
And if not so what, life is so short and I have spent too many years wondering am I good enough, hiding the real me to fit in. To hell with that anymore.
Enjoy your 20s girl. I was a single mum at 19 and literally put my life on hold till last year."
That's a very good point about life being short. I am trying to enjoy my 20s but I feel like I'm not having the experiences I should be. |
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"I share your fears although my circumstances are a bit different. I got married at 17 because I was pregnant. I was in a miserable marriage for 10 years until I got divorced. I've been single almost 11 years. Now that my sons are older I realise I do want a relationship but the sad reality is I have no clue how. I've spent the last 10 years either being a friend, a fuck buddy or the other woman. Which has suited me in many ways because I didn't want to bring anyone in to my boys lives.
Now I think it might be too late "
You are only 36 it is not too late. Never give up on finding what you want |
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"... I've never had a boyfriend? I turned 26 a couple of days ago and obviously all my friends are settling down, getting married, buying houses, having babies etc. I've dated a little but it's just never gone beyond that for me... Dating is incredibly difficult as it is as 99% of men just seem to want sex, and then most of those aren't attracted to big girls. Or they'd sleep with big girls but wouldn't date them. Obviously it's not my top priority at the moment as I have far more important goals to work on, but I'd be lying if I said it's not something I worry about. I feel like the longer I stay single for the more of a dealbreaker it will become that I haven't had any experience with relationships. "
There is somebody out their for everybody. You are still young. Don't give up hope. |
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"... I've never had a boyfriend? I turned 26 a couple of days ago and obviously all my friends are settling down, getting married, buying houses, having babies etc. I've dated a little but it's just never gone beyond that for me... Dating is incredibly difficult as it is as 99% of men just seem to want sex, and then most of those aren't attracted to big girls. Or they'd sleep with big girls but wouldn't date them. Obviously it's not my top priority at the moment as I have far more important goals to work on, but I'd be lying if I said it's not something I worry about. I feel like the longer I stay single for the more of a dealbreaker it will become that I haven't had any experience with relationships. "
If you put on your profile your are looking for a relationship anyone who contacts you knows what you are looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... I've never had a boyfriend? I turned 26 a couple of days ago and obviously all my friends are settling down, getting married, buying houses, having babies etc. I've dated a little but it's just never gone beyond that for me... Dating is incredibly difficult as it is as 99% of men just seem to want sex, and then most of those aren't attracted to big girls. Or they'd sleep with big girls but wouldn't date them. Obviously it's not my top priority at the moment as I have far more important goals to work on, but I'd be lying if I said it's not something I worry about. I feel like the longer I stay single for the more of a dealbreaker it will become that I haven't had any experience with relationships. "
You are still very young also with your friends not all of there marriages will work out etc as that’s how life goes sometimes.
Your meet someone when you least expect it x |
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"Thank you for your kind words everyone.
I guess what I was trying to say (without actually saying it) was that I'm finding it hard to envisage anyone ever wanting me for more than just sex, because it hasn't exactly happened so far. "
Please don't think like that. One day (I don't know when) a guy is going to fall head over heels for you. You will find love. |
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"Thank you for your kind words everyone.
I guess what I was trying to say (without actually saying it) was that I'm finding it hard to envisage anyone ever wanting me for more than just sex, because it hasn't exactly happened so far.
Then you need to stop having sex with people until you know each other a bit. Not for any old fashioned reasons of saving yourself or anything like that but to learn that people will value you for yourself.
That's so much easier said than done though... Even on the traditional dating apps and sites I could talk about my interests, hopes and dreams until I'm blue in the face but all guys ever want to know about is sex. Even arranging drinks etc they expect you to be up for going back to theirs after. Besides it's not like I don't want to have sex. I'm still meeting off here (pre/post lockdown obviously) because I enjoy sex and connecting with people. I know I won't find a partner off here, it's just difficult in general to know who likes you for you, you know? I don't know, I'm rambling now "
Then change how you do things.
Make guys woo you, make guys get to know you before you meet them, use that time to get rid of guys who only want to fuck you, etc.
If a guy only wants you for sex fuck them off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... I've never had a boyfriend? I turned 26 a couple of days ago and obviously all my friends are settling down, getting married, buying houses, having babies etc. I've dated a little but it's just never gone beyond that for me... Dating is incredibly difficult as it is as 99% of men just seem to want sex, and then most of those aren't attracted to big girls. Or they'd sleep with big girls but wouldn't date them. Obviously it's not my top priority at the moment as I have far more important goals to work on, but I'd be lying if I said it's not something I worry about. I feel like the longer I stay single for the more of a dealbreaker it will become that I haven't had any experience with relationships. "
I can’t see it being a dealbreaker; not having any relationships means you won’t have any bad ones to leave you with bad memories and believe me, there are a few I could have done without!
I didn’t settle down until I was in my 30s, don’t rush it. Don’t hang too much on the timing of sex either; it’s exciting to be intimate with someone new but if it’s going to work out with them, it either will or it won’t.
I’ve had a relationship where I held off on sex to so I didn’t ruin it pushing too quickly; it was over in a couple of months. Others sex was there in the first week or so and they lasted. |
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"
That's a very good point about life being short. I am trying to enjoy my 20s but I feel like I'm not having the experiences I should be. "
What should we be doing in our 20s? There's no rule book! In my 20s, my son's age ranged from 4-13, so I wasn't doing the traditional things really. Graduated uni when he was 6, went to work, married S when I was 23 and have done the work/mum thing ever since. Your life is yours, don't try and be the same as others because there's no right way to do life and we are all different! |
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Dont worry you looking fine and dandy in my eyes,i find a larger lady much more of a turn on and have have always gone for your sexy type of body.
If they love you then the past dont matter anyway.xx
Please feel free to contact me.x |
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