FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Can half a couple swing alone?......
Can half a couple swing alone?......
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Popeye(M) here!
Myself and my wonderful wife "Olive" have been swinging for a number of years now, but since last year Olive has not been into it so we've not been on the scene.
However...last weekend, unprompted, she said she would be very happy if I wanted to swing without her. I told her I would not be happy if she did this, but she said she would still be happy if I did! She would prefer if I would go to a club - we normally go to Chams.
So multiple questions, and I'm not asking for permission, validation or contempt. Just the wit and wisdom of the fab forum 
1. Should I go for it, or stop thinking about it now. We have a very solid relationship.
2. I'm not very competitive or forward so I prefer going on couples nights. Does that sound feasible if I can find a buddy?
3. Have any other couples done this, and how did it work out?
I throw myself on your insight
 Popeye x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if ur a cpls profile u play as a cpl on it but if she ok with playing on ur own then put a singles profile up we wud never play with guy on his own if on cpls profile |
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"if ur a cpls profile u play as a cpl on it but if she ok with playing on ur own then put a singles profile up we wud never play with guy on his own if on cpls profile"
That sounds fair. I wouldn't want to trade on the verifications we have as a couple. Thanks  |
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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago
south coast |
Personally (male half here) i'm not into club scene but we do swing alone due to work family lack of sitters etc if the trust is there and nothing is done behind anyones back then I dont see a problem only you can tell if olive will be ok with things once u agree to start good luck n hope it works out for you guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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all you can do is try it, male plays alone with my blessing, this came around due to my illness i watched a few times but preferred not too watch now, but love it when Mr tells me what happened and goes into details we have fantastic sex after, i trust him and we organise the meets together so i know all and am still apart of it so that helps me.
Mr did say it took abit to get used to it and its not the same but he enjoys it, its just different for him alone.
So we dont see a issue with it and we know lots of couples wont meet him and some will and some singles will, but it is very hard to arrange meets as a single playing bloke so be patient and good luck
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"but love it when Mr tells me what happened and goes into details we have fantastic sex after, i trust him and we organise the meets together so i know all and am still apart of it so that helps me.
"
Olive and I both like to discuss things after, so that could be fun.
I think I would be prepared to wait a long time to find a buddy, especially if I create a new single profile with no verification. Still, might be a surprise If I get a response one day.
I like your idea of organising things together. Typically I organise all the couples meets we have, and Olive does the entertaining and chatting. We do what we're each good at. But I like your ideas.
Cheers!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to ask... Why wouldn't you be happy for her to have the same freedoms you are being given....?
It can work but personally I had this set up before in a relationship and it led to resentment on my part.
Cali |
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"I have to ask... Why wouldn't you be happy for her to have the same freedoms you are being given....?
"
I trust my wife 100% but I worry she may get with an agressive bloke. She does'nt like hard agressive guys, and I worry she could get into a difficult situation.
I would really need to know and trust the guy she went with very well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's working for us. Couples profile Absolutebeginners1). My wife & I had some fun at clubs (albeit on our own), we visited kestrels a fair bit last year (when we had bit of a summer). But she decided that she didn't want to anymore but may come back to it again.
Anyway, she told me the same, to play on my own but only with couples & that she wanted to know address of where I was going (just in case).
Had 2 meets at other couples homes & visited Abfabs twice now. All is ok, but I miss my wife being with me, not quite the same.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my honest answer to this is your should never do anything you woulnt be happy for your partner to do, even tho your mrs said she dont mind i just feel that because you wouldnt let her do it you should be thinking twice about why you will do it knowing you woulnt allow like wise
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"my honest answer to this is your should never do anything you woulnt be happy for your partner to do, even tho your mrs said she dont mind i just feel that because you wouldnt let her do it you should be thinking twice about why you will do it knowing you woulnt allow like wise
"
I would be happy if she went with a guy I really trusted, I already trust mmy wife 100%. To be honest she's never wanted too, despite some guys asking.
We don't have many rules, and we don't often say no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been meeting people alone for some time due to us both having work kids etc and would be very much ok with hubby going and meeting someone on his own.
So much he has sent up an account on here, hasnt had any meets as such but dont think it will be too long before he does
He says it will seem funny without me there but maybe its slightly different for men and women to meet as a single when part of a couple xx |
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Honestly, if your other half is good with it then go for it.
If I were you I'd hope that she might dip her toe back in the water after you have been telling her what you have been doing.
Sounda good to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isn't it lovely to see how much the male half misses their wife need the heart but I don't know how to type it 
Personally I either play with single males or couples, I have not yet decided that I am happy to play with one half of a couple, and I may never be comfortable with it
For you, if you trust each other and are happy with it, go for it |
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Even though you don't like the idea of going to Chams on your own very much, it might be worth trying it just to see how you both feel at the end of the evening.
You may decide it doesn't feel right without your partner. She may decide it doesn't feel right letting you go once you've been gone for an hour. or you both might really enjoy it being something different and have a great shag whilst talking about it.
At least you'll be testing the water without dragging someone else in the deep end and then realising you want to be back in the boat.
With regards to suggestions about having a single's profile.... the flip side is... it may look like you have that profile to keep things from your partner. I am not saying you would, but at least your couple's profile shows it is all out in the open.... which may also be a benefit to how you both feel further down the line. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well just depends on you both, only you can know if its a good idea.
if things arnt right though it could be the start of the end, it sounds a lot like one of my friends who i used to see as a couple, then her guy started letting her play alone and not long after they split
althought i do think his motives were more xbox time if im honest haha, but yeah i was a bit of a signal of the end as he wasnt that into swinging as much as she was so let her get on with it but not long after they split.
everyones different but if you have to ask everyone else on something which should be a gut decision then maybe its not right choice as you should really be sure enough not to ask!
sounds good to have your cake and eat it though, but can always go wrong in the long run |
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Go for it. My partner and I are each on here with single accounts as well as our couples one (this obviously being my single one).
As for meeting as a single from a couples account because you want to keep your verifications though, that's against the rules and I'm surprised the moderator hasn't changed your account type or removed your verifications or something as a result.
Set up a new, single account which makes it clear you're attached but playing with permission, ask people who have verified your couples account to verify you and go have some fun  |
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Oh I forgot the most important thing....
It is one thing for a person to say they are OK with something like this, but it is another to know why they are saying it.
Is it because she thinks she should?
Is it because she thinks it will keep you happy?
Is it because she thinks it's not fair on you if she isn't so interested in swinging anymore?
Is it because she thinks it will be horny for her knowing what you are up to and not being there?
Those are not the questions to ask by the way... the question is... what's in it for her?
You already have a pretty good idea of what is in it for you.... but if that's all there is to it, is that good enough reason to do it?
I know a lot of couples where one or both swing seperately because it works for both of them.... and only works whilst it works for both of them. |
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On another note, my partner is spending 8 months of next year in France and there are plenty of situations like ours where one half of a couple will be unable to take part in swinging for a while. As long as everyone's happy, knows what's happening and talks about any potential issues there's no reason you should have a falling out over it |
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Thanks tho x