FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Who's best to talk to in a couple?
Who's best to talk to in a couple?
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If it's only one person from a couple (or... from a "couple"...) talking in messages, who do you generally prefer it to be? I think it's fairly safe to say both is best, but if not, then what?
When it's only the man, there are various alarm bells that she doesn't even exist, or isn't really into it. But when it's the woman, it then makes us worry that the man is just awful, especially when there's so often little sign of them in their pics.
Certainly been caught out in person in the latter case, but so far the former ones never went anywhere, and just annoyed the hell out of us.
So who do you prefer? And is it influenced by your gender? I mean, would men obviously rather talk to the other woman etc? |
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I want to talk to both, because I want to know the woman actually exists and is fully on board. But more than anything I’d like to know which one I’m talking to at any given time. Too many couples don’t actually sign off their messages so you know who you’re talking to. |
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"I want to talk to both, because I want to know the woman actually exists and is fully on board. But more than anything I’d like to know which one I’m talking to at any given time. Too many couples don’t actually sign off their messages so you know who you’re talking to."
I'm guilty of that at times, sure. I try and make it clear but doesn't always happen! |
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I'm not sure who out of the two of us is better to talk to. But whoever is here chatting comes out of necessity for us as it depends on our shifts.
We often work completely opposite days/nights so if the fact we can't both be on here together upsets people it's hard luck! It certainly shouldn't ring alarm bells.
T xx
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We like to both chat with both halves of a couple. I'd quite like to genuinely like a gent that's going to possibly fuck the Mrs.
It's why kik group chats with both of us in and the other having just one account is always a bit suss. |
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We try and both participate in the chat...Steve usually starts the thread as I usually just get picture collectors! But then both add to the text. If it’s just one or the other then are they both wanting the swing pleasure? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer to chat to both there is certainly an alarm that goes off of its just a man.
If you can't verify with the site and haven'tet since 1645 would be very cautious as they tend to be men....wanking sorry but ita true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting to here that lack of a male chatting is an issue. In what way do you mean “awful”?
For us SjA (male) can’t stand Fab because of its horrible UX design so he takes on the duty of keeping the apps going and chatting on them. We give each other a nudge if we find someone interesting so we can make a decision together of where things go |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Like to chat to both really as we turned up at a house once on the guys invite and the female didn’t know we were coming, we had a fun night with them after initial shock of us at her door lol but rather we hadn’t surprised her  it was in our early Fab days, wouldn’t happen now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to chat the the female half of the very few I have had the pleasure to talk to. I had one couple were she was never available, then found several profiles with the same photos with different names and ages. When question the whole chat collapsed with myself being the bad person for doing basic due diligence. It was sad but probably for the best. |
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I (Mrs) tend to do all the messages on Fab. Mr doesn't like it and it's difficult when there are both people chatting. Once we know things are going somewhere we usually set up a Kik chat with all four of us. It rings alarm bells then if they say that they only have one account. Personally I prefer to talk to the female of a couple. I always think if the fems can't connect then it's probably not going to work, even if they aren't playing together x |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
Not really an option with us as Mrs N doesn't get involved until the meet, just how she likes it. A problem for some which 'I' understand but that's our set up, may have lost us a few meets but we've had many great times even with the set up we have. |
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We both will message people and those that are our friends on here know who is talking just by the way we phrase things for people that do not us we will sign off with our name .We like to talk to both from the couple as it’s very important that we all get along equally. |
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We try not to let on who's typing the messages (unless in the forum) because we don't think people should speak to either of us differently.
If you're having a nice respectful conversation, getting to know a couple the is there really a need to know Which is typing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On my couple's profile husband very rarely replies to messages but reads them all. So I do the chatting. As we always meet for social only first - he talks then. |
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"We try not to let on who's typing the messages (unless in the forum) because we don't think people should speak to either of us differently.
If you're having a nice respectful conversation, getting to know a couple the is there really a need to know Which is typing?"
This is our approach generally. It's interesting how things unfold and how assumptions are made on the initial approach (most of which assume only Mr KC is the one reading and replying). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it's only one person from a couple (or... from a "couple"...) talking in messages, who do you generally prefer it to be? I think it's fairly safe to say both is best, but if not, then what?
When it's only the man, there are various alarm bells that she doesn't even exist, or isn't really into it. But when it's the woman, it then makes us worry that the man is just awful, especially when there's so often little sign of them in their pics.
Certainly been caught out in person in the latter case, but so far the former ones never went anywhere, and just annoyed the hell out of us.
So who do you prefer? And is it influenced by your gender? I mean, would men obviously rather talk to the other woman etc?"
Both preferably.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure it's best to speak to one over the other,as both need to decide whether they want to take things further.
What I would advise is,don't assume it's the female, especially when the profile says it's the male half that answers most messsges,that's a sure way of bringing the conversation to an abrupt halt |
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By *pmsldCouple
over a year ago
kettering |
Messages tend to be male half initially, S (female) tends to prefer talking through KIK as a group chat as we both have accounts and it's easier to have a natural conversation between multiple people. We have sat down and done it together before but this is rare due to shift patterns. I dont think I have ever spoke to a profile and had replies from different people they have all appeared to have been 1 person (no change in how they talk/type etc) |
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Since Cal generally uses the couple profile, with me having this one. He usually responds to messages.
If we are looking at meeting we will both be involved in the conversation and expect the same from the other couple. |
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You need to communicate as if you’re talking to both of us at all times although it may be just one of us we both access the profile, sometimes together, sometimes not.
It’s true that I, J, do most of the fab admin but Becky sees it all.
We always insist on the ladies talking as well, and normally move to whatsapp or similar quite quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesn't bother me, I talk to them as a couple and it soon becomes clear which you are talking to, then clear if it's only a single guy pretending... I will talk to the male or female with equal respect and most genuine couples will sign off according to gender... |
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"Interesting to here that lack of a male chatting is an issue. In what way do you mean “awful”?
For us SjA (male) can’t stand Fab because of its horrible UX design so he takes on the duty of keeping the apps going and chatting on them. We give each other a nudge if we find someone interesting so we can make a decision together of where things go"
Well awful like he has all the charisma of a soggy cardboard cut out!
Awful UX?! I'm sure I've no idea what you mean! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great question. We’re figuring it out as we go. I (Mrs) like when everyone is involved in the chats, but also tend to let Mr take the lead. Agree with above point that (for us) the women clicking is key. |
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"We try not to let on who's typing the messages (unless in the forum) because we don't think people should speak to either of us differently.
If you're having a nice respectful conversation, getting to know a couple the is there really a need to know Which is typing?
This is our approach generally. It's interesting how things unfold and how assumptions are made on the initial approach (most of which assume only Mr KC is the one reading and replying)."
The guys will always assume it's the male replying when they get turned down  fed up of explaining that he's straight, hes not the one judging if they're attractive |
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By *ands09Couple
over a year ago
West London |
We generally prefer a social meet or cam chat with both prior to any meeting .. for us unless we both like the couples we don’t meet, after all we are in lifestyle for both of us to enjoy the encounters.... therefore we always prefer to chat with both |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
Have I hijacked a couples' thread? 
I prefer, ideally, to talk to both. That's the surest way to know whether both are "into" what we're about to do or not, as the case might be. But, I also don't mind talking to just one of the couple, as long as the other is fully updated... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's usually me (Mrs) who chats, I'm the worst flirt though if I'm interested, I then pass it across to the Mr, although I do prefer a group what's app just makes it easier to see if we all connect. |
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