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Do women prefer dominant men?
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By *ord11 OP Man
over a year ago
limerick, Clare |
Society puts so much expectation on women to be "powerful", "equal" and "strong" but do women in reality just want the man to take charge, make the decisions and be confident? Is this then why so many women jump at the chance be their real submissive self and be with a dominant man in the bedroom? |
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By *igwilly2kMan
over a year ago
The Land of Kink! |
"Yes I do
I need a break of being the boss elsewhere
If I know a man has a weakness and I can dominate him in the bedroom
Then my attention wanders
"
And would you consider a kinky Scouse slave that in the south west to use abuse and humiliate for your pleasure X   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a natural inclination for women to submit to men in the bedroom I think. Just like it’s natural for a man to dominate ..well that’s how it feels to me ..like something that’s an inherent part of me.
There are well documented exceptions of course - just like with anything ..but even those women let go of control from time to time in my experience.
TLT |
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Some very interesting but wrong assertions being put forward here, and nearly all by the men.
The Dom/sub, Master/slave relationship where one of the participants is under the control of the other is not recognised for what it is of how it occurs.
This relationship is negotiated and agreed beforehand, it's not that the Dom has taken control, it's the sub who hands over control with the understanding that there are limitations on what is allowed,and what they expect to receive in exchange for the handover of control.
It's similar to a business contract, an offer is put forward, a consideration is offered for its acceptance and the offer is then either accepted or rejected.
And it's the same in the bedroom.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, not at all. I'm naturally attracted to more dominant men but I prefer to be in control in the bedroom or we are equals. I've only submitted to one guy ever and even then I topped from the bottom slightly. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
" Society puts so much expectation on women to be "powerful", "equal" and "strong" but do women in reality just want the man to take charge, make the decisions and be confident? Is this then why so many women jump at the chance be their real submissive self and be with a dominant man in the bedroom? "
I think there are some huge generalisations and assumptions in there, although do, to an extent, understand why you may make them - the thing is though, sexuality and sexual desires and needs are an individual thing and can't be generalised.
Yes, some women like men to take control and be assertive in the bedroom and not necessarily in a D/s way either.
Some women like to be in control and some like a level of equality.
Just as equally, some men like to be in each of those roles too - regardless of gender it's not always a constant either and may be very situational.
All of which is a longwinded way of saying some will, some won't I know but it's not quite as simple or "across the board" as your OP suggests |
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Nothing to do with expectation. I am naturally dominant, someone who is submissive is no challenge, and after half a day, I'm bored. Guys are very attracted to a strong woman, and then try to dominate to control her, not having any of that. An equal would be great, but really difficult to find. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with Gemini Man above, you can’t generalise. I’m not into BDSM dynamics at all (for various reasons I have a bad history with D/s dynamics so I don’t use those terms). A man trying to “dominate” me is a bit of a turn off tbh (unless we’ve talked about it a LOT beforehand, and also only if he’s not very much stronger/bigger than me, so I feel safe).
That said I do describe myself as quite toppy and I enjoy playing the role that a man would in a “regular” MF interaction. In relationships I like to be the partner who is physically stronger/with the money/in charge etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I do
I need a break of being the boss elsewhere
If I know a man has a weakness and I can dominate him in the bedroom
Then my attention wanders
"
Would put manners on you.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In every day life we’re very much equal in our relationship. I’m a feminist with an issue with authority, I don’t take well to be told what to do in every day life. However when the clothes come off he naturally takes the lead and I fucking love it. I’ve given up trying to rationalise it.
I know one thing though. Dominance is not a gender stereotype! I’ve met and played with females who are INCREDIBLY dominant and similarly males who are very submissive. It’s not a gender thing, it’s personal preference.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s a natural inclination for women to submit to men in the bedroom I think. Just like it’s natural for a man to dominate ..well that’s how it feels to me ..like something that’s an inherent part of me.
There are well documented exceptions of course - just like with anything ..but even those women let go of control from time to time in my experience.
TLT"
So this is where I’ve been going wrong all these years, I’ve always thought women would like a co-conspirator so sex could ebb and flow neither party taking overall control nor being submissive - plainly I’m wrong  |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
I would echo the comments of GMan and Squirrel.
I think the issue with OP's comments is that: (a) it is not clear whether he is referring to bedroom activities or specifically to a D/S dynamic; and (b) in terms of a D/S dynamic OP seems not to have heard of Dommes, Mistresses, and Switches.
However in the case of (a) you cannot generalise, some people look for a specific role and for some people the role is situational (switches).
Also the term submissive is time and time again seen as exchangeable for weakness. In modern D/S being submissive is not being weak, and although some people are by nature submissive, in D/S terms this means they take the submissive role in a negotiated power exchange relationship. It does not mean they are or have to be a door mat.
Also sometimes people fail to see that if "the submissive" controls the relationship, they are in fact the dominant. There is the phrase "power slave".
The biggest issue is people make assumptions and fail to talk about roles as it is seen as taking away from the magic of the moment.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like being submissive in the bedroom, but I disagree that you think I'm not in full control. I only submit to certain men, and those men know exactly what I want, don't want and will do. They can read my body, understand my needs and desires and know what to "make" me do. I haven't given away any control though, it's a partnership. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"No woman on here as ever messaged me asking to be dominant, spanked, restrained, whipped etc "
That doesn't mean there aren't dominant women though - just means they've not contacted you, or have read your profile and seen that it hints at being a dominant/assertive and have not seen the need to contact you as dominants themselves.
There are plenty of dominant women here - the difference between them and dominant men though is they tend to be a little more subtle in their approach and not quite as out there with their dominance from the outset. |
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By *usybee73Man
over a year ago
in the sticks |
"No woman on here as ever messaged me asking to be dominant, spanked, restrained, whipped etc
That doesn't mean there aren't dominant women though - just means they've not contacted you, or have read your profile and seen that it hints at being a dominant/assertive and have not seen the need to contact you as dominants themselves.
There are plenty of dominant women here - the difference between them and dominant men though is they tend to be a little more subtle in their approach and not quite as out there with their dominance from the outset."
Erm I'm not interested in dominant women though  |
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By *yphodMan
over a year ago
London |
One of my observations from life in general is that naturally dominant women (especially executive types in the work place) generally go for even more domineering men.
Then I have met the quiet shy ladies, who given half the chance love to take control in an out of the bedroom.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
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Erm I'm not interested in dominant women though "
Sorry I obviously misunderstood your opening line that said "No woman on here as ever messaged me asking to be dominant"
Either way, the other way round doesn't tend to happen due to the number of "dominant" men who see "dominance" as being a licence to do what they want both in and out of the bedroom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Puts hand up! I do! As much as I can switch it up & can Domme as well, I far prefer it when the man takes the lead.
I absolutely love an assertive man who is in control. Swoons.  |
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"It’s a natural inclination for women to submit to men in the bedroom I think. Just like it’s natural for a man to dominate ..well that’s how it feels to me ..like something that’s an inherent part of me.
There are well documented exceptions of course - just like with anything ..but even those women let go of control from time to time in my experience.
TLT"
It’s really not, and that’s quite a sexist assumption. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s a natural inclination for women to submit to men in the bedroom I think. Just like it’s natural for a man to dominate ..well that’s how it feels to me ..like something that’s an inherent part of me.
There are well documented exceptions of course - just like with anything ..but even those women let go of control from time to time in my experience.
TLT
It’s really not, and that’s quite a sexist assumption."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do...i like to give complete control in complete contrast to my work/day life... But any chink is enough to completely pop the spell for me - there are not many who can do it |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
" Society puts so much expectation on women to be "powerful", "equal" and "strong" but do women in reality just want the man to take charge, make the decisions and be confident? Is this then why so many women jump at the chance be their real submissive self and be with a dominant man in the bedroom? "
Nah doesn't appeal to me at all. Im fact one of the biggest turn offs on here for me is guys messaging me wanting to dom me. It also quite often shows from their messages they don't actually understand the whole dom/sub relationship as quite a few who messaged me thought it meant I should be there just to please them. When it is a lot more intricate than that.
I don't mind a guy at times taking control but always would just bore me.
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
To me, and this is only me, D/s is a dynamic play, a verb, not two nouns at play.
Korzybski coined the phrase,”the map is not the territory”.
To me it is best explained by the simile of people entering a wood.
If it was two lovers, they would see the wood completely different to an ornithologist, who in turn would see it completely different a lumberjack.
Same wood, different perspectives.
Odd that different perspectives are not often accepted in D/s play.
So my advice is, if you want a lover to enter the woods with, a person with an axe might not be your thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Society puts so much expectation on women to be "powerful", "equal" and "strong" but do women in reality just want the man to take charge, make the decisions and be confident? Is this then why so many women jump at the chance be their real submissive self and be with a dominant man in the bedroom? "
Absolutely not! I only like switches or subs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No woman on here as ever messaged me asking to be dominant, spanked, restrained, whipped etc "
No submissive would message a random stranger on here, or anywhere else, asking for such. There has to be a level of understanding, trust and familiarity before submission of that kind. Anything else could lead to degradation which is not the same as being submissive in bed.
Submission has many different forms and probably no two D/S relationships are identical. Understanding your partner's desires and levels of submission are key. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do prefer a confident man but.... My 'real submissive self' lol have a word with yourself
I think both genders slip in and out of both mindsets, its about being with someone who understands that and can read the situation for me. |
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"I organise my home, so in charge there but I like a man to take the lead in the bedroom, not actually had a dom yet but things might be changing in that direction  "
I think I know just the man you're thinking of  |
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I think women prefer confident men.
C loves my dominant side and has brought it out a lot more and we both enjoy that aspect.
But as to whether women prefer a dominant man, then I think it depends on how they like to play...
K |
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By *usybee73Man
over a year ago
in the sticks |
"No woman on here as ever messaged me asking to be dominant, spanked, restrained, whipped etc
No submissive would message a random stranger on here, or anywhere else, asking for such. There has to be a level of understanding, trust and familiarity before submission of that kind. Anything else could lead to degradation which is not the same as being submissive in bed.
Submission has many different forms and probably no two D/S relationships are identical. Understanding your partner's desires and levels of submission are key."
Depends, as last few subs I have had, have been from vanilla sites rather from here or well known fetish social network sites.
Of cause its all about trust and understanding hence been a member, and attendee at fetish clubs and events.
What I find frustrating in a way is those who play around and think they are ... without no experience, which doesn't do any good to the scene whats so ever. Actually puts curious and newbies off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Society puts so much expectation on women to be "powerful", "equal" and "strong" but do women in reality just want the man to take charge, make the decisions and be confident? Is this then why so many women jump at the chance be their real submissive self and be with a dominant man in the bedroom? "
I do, and I need it x
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"I wouldn't say dominant as I'm not submissive...but I do like men who are confident and have the strength of will to handle me, especially if I'm in a feisty mood. "
same here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m quite bossy and in control in my day to
Day life- one of my colleagues called me a control freak! I like things a certain way. So when I can hand the baton to someone else and zone out and just enjoy then that’s better for me hence dominant men are my choice. I also enjoy a good spanking and like tall manly men |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"I’m quite bossy and in control in my day to
Day life- one of my colleagues called me a control freak! I like things a certain way. So when I can hand the baton to someone else and zone out and just enjoy then that’s better for me hence dominant men are my choice. I also enjoy a good spanking and like tall manly men "
Think the juxtaposition works both ways. |
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" Society puts so much expectation on women to be "powerful", "equal" and "strong" but do women in reality just want the man to take charge, make the decisions and be confident? Is this then why so many women jump at the chance be their real submissive self and be with a dominant man in the bedroom?
Absolutely not! I only like switches or subs. "
Love Your profile sorry to hear about the bodystocking |
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By *ess37Woman
over a year ago
Nantwich |
I do believe that truly ‘dominant’ people (men or women) are dominant by nature and they are the ones who want to take control in and out of the bedroom - there aren’t many around.
BUT
Also I trust dominance is the wrong word - taking control, managing, having a high level of intelligence both emotional and otherwise, understanding, being an amazing psychologist and many many more traits make a good leader - in and outside of bedroom.
If you think, domination isn’t really a domination because you actually obey to someone’s wishes and so to me it’s not dominance - true domination is when you do what is completely unexpected but with respect and all the other traits I’ve mentioned above.
I’m a naturally born leader and I do want to be surrounded by strong men, men on my level of confidence and men who have the characteristics I have mentioned. |
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I consider myself a strong woman in many aspects, but giving up myself to a dominant man, being his, submitting to his desire and pleasure, its just naturally in me to serve and please sexually. The right man understands that its a gift to him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me. life in general if someone feels the need to be dominant then they aren’t. Things fall into place naturally, I’ve got no interest in being in charge but It seems to happen without trying |
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"It’s a natural inclination for women to submit to men in the bedroom I think. Just like it’s natural for a man to dominate ..well that’s how it feels to me ..like something that’s an inherent part of me.
There are well documented exceptions of course - just like with anything ..but even those women let go of control from time to time in my experience.
TLT"
... and they all like to be called Kajira 
What nonsence |
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" Society puts so much expectation on women to be "powerful", "equal" and "strong" but do women in reality just want the man to take charge, make the decisions and be confident? Is this then why so many women jump at the chance be their real submissive self and be with a dominant man in the bedroom? "
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" Society puts so much expectation on women to be "powerful", "equal" and "strong" but do women in reality just want the man to take charge, make the decisions and be confident? Is this then why so many women jump at the chance be their real submissive self and be with a dominant man in the bedroom? "
So much bullshit, so little time. |
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Much to some mens surprise, all women are different...
I am not particularly submissive at all and want an equal dynamic in the bedroom.
As for the gentleman who believes most women are naturally submissive and men dominant... this sort of thinking is why women are still not treated as equals and men often still struggle to ask for help  |
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That’s a good question that I don’t know the answer to.
What I do know though is that many of the women I have been lucky enough to meet here have enjoyed me taking charge more than I expected. Does that say something about them or me? Probably both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s a good question that I don’t know the answer to.
What I do know though is that many of the women I have been lucky enough to meet here have enjoyed me taking charge more than I expected. Does that say something about them or me? Probably both "
Just let control relax now and then and enjoy the moment ,Just be your lovely self |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"It’s a natural inclination for women to submit to men in the bedroom I think. Just like it’s natural for a man to dominate ..well that’s how it feels to me ..like something that’s an inherent part of me.
There are well documented exceptions of course - just like with anything ..but even those women let go of control from time to time in my experience.
TLT
... and they all like to be called Kajira
What nonsence"
Someone has escaped the planet Gor!
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By *ngman70Man
over a year ago
Between Christcrch and New Forest |
I'm sure it varies considerably based on ladies mood at the time and general preferences.
There is also a wide scale between taking the lead and clapping someone in chains in the first moment |
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