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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've read about it and interested in it. Do you all live together? Or live with just one partner. Do you love the other person or persons the same as your partner? Bit confused about it all. Any advice welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm looking into whether I might be polyamorous myself and it might work for me.
I don't quite know how it might work but I feel I could fall into that bracket. Building intense relationships but not being monogamous and feeling love for more than one person.
I too am open to any input on this subject |
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"I've read about it and interested in it. Do you all live together? Or live with just one partner. Do you love the other person or persons the same as your partner? Bit confused about it all. Any advice welcome "
Not an expert in this, only went to uni. Polytechnic wouldn't have me haha
I darnt comment on what I think it is, as the forum police wil get me haha, more or less an open relationship, with more than one person all 3 or 4 sharing life's experiences, committed to each other but just not 1 person but all together and in a realationship I think x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There’s a girl that does a blog called boldly grow she is very knowledgeable and answers millions of questions you may not even have thought of. xx "
Thanks for the advice. I'll google it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"poly is our nature and dream.. lockdown sucks
d
Why can't you form a bubble with a single person ? "
I guess u can if it's just one person. Not sure on rules of bubbles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"cos bubbles tend to be family members
I thought it could be anyone who lives alone or just with children under 18. "
i thought you were just allowed one bubble.. Two maximum.. most people would use them for family.. anyone confirm?
when this started the dutch created an actual sex partner bubble... never get that here
d |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
"I've read about it and interested in it. Do you all live together? Or live with just one partner. Do you love the other person or persons the same as your partner? Bit confused about it all. Any advice welcome "
There are so many different set ups - it's about finding what's right for you. I live with my fiance, my other partner lives a few hundred miles away. A good friend of mine is solo poly and has several partners but doesn't live with any of them. It's such a personal thing, it's about finding what works for you all.
I love them both. Slightly differently, it's hard to explain really. You know how you can really love cherries and satsumas. Well they don't taste the same, they don't look the same or whatever but you know you love both. Crap analogy but best I can come up with! You can feel love for more than one person, whether it's the same type or slightly different - there's no wrong or right way to do it (as long as it's ethical).
More Than Two is a helpful website if you want to read up more on any of this! It will probably explain things far better than I have as well. |
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Guess it varies from person to person - we have poly friends who have a live in relationship with each other, but each have seperate relationships elsewhere too
Whereas we're looking for an extra person long term, with the hope of possibly all living together eventually (happy to play with others until that day comes however...!!) |
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By *lowhands7Man
over a year ago
South Leicestershire / Burton on Trent |
Have been in a poly relationship before. My advice is that there are no hard and fast rules that apply to all, it is up to you to make the rules to suit those within the relationship and your respective circumstances. Get that right and it makes for a fun and happy relationship
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had friends a while ago now but he lived with his wife (their kids were all adults and lived away), his concubine and their young child and his girlfriend and they all lived together happily ... aside from the usual grumbles! |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
My advice research research research
There are lots of books, blogs and sites covering poly.
Try and be clear in your mind what you want, what you have to offer, and what you may be prepared to fo without.
Then its a case of finding people with similar outlooks, and making it work.
Envy and jealousy will end this rather quickly. |
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"I've read about it and interested in it. Do you all live together? Or live with just one partner. Do you love the other person or persons the same as your partner? Bit confused about it all. Any advice welcome "
There is no one way to be poly. Some have a primary 'nesting' part er they live with like a 'normal' couple while one or both have outside partners. Some have more than one partner living together (polygamy or polyandry). It's possible to have a group who share and share alike. Some just sleep around and others are stuck in a 1:1 relationship and have secret lovers - what is generally known as cheating. It is what you want it to be, not how how someone else defines it. |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
Got to have good comunication between all parties open honesty no secrets no breeding ground for jelousey .any boundarys have to be agreed and respected to many think its about playing the field |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Got to have good comunication between all parties open honesty no secrets no breeding ground for jelousey .any boundarys have to be agreed and respected to many think its about playing the field "
Yes agreed. My primary partner we talk all time about how were feeling and making sure were both happy with everything that's going on. Guessing wont be easy for sure. Finding someone that gets on with him and he likes also. Well when were allowed that is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happy to chat. I am slow to respond. Apologies in advance.
Key point to note. Polyamory is a massive catch all term. We have never met anyone who does it the same way as anyone who else. So just sit down. Work something out. For example, we don’t aim to find other partners and let it naturally progress. Other like then pokemon ‘gotta catch them all’ style of as many partners as possible. Neither is wrong.
Other key point is honesty and openness ss. We literally have zero lies or secrets. If you can’t do honesty, it’s going to suck hard.
But the begat feeling. Expressing how you’ve got/developing feeling for someone and having support. You’re not having to lie to yourself or them and no one should get hurt.
|
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Poly like people is completely individual. I’m polyamorous, and for me it’s about being connected emotionally to my partners. I swing as well, but that is just sex.
The Ethical slut and More than two are excellent books for anyone who is interested in polyamory.
Sass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lThe Ethical slut and More than two are excellent books for anyone who is interested in polyamory."
The ethical slut is on my bookcase, but I I could t take it too seriously when it started talking about sexual energy and stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*Their message. Not there. Bigger"
Wanted to privately message to say thank you for your post. I’ve recently accepted being bi Poly and have faced loads of intrusive and judgemental questions. This has helped enormously and I love the graceful humour throughout.
Wonderful thoughts from beautiful people xxx |
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Swinging with connection & feelings. For me accepting that one lover can’t fulfil all my needs. Wife, girlfriend and occasional FB/FWB works but ideally all out in the open although it would be a little weird if they all knew each other.
Problems arise when one or more aren’t truly Poly and they get insecure, jealous or possessive and try to dictate who you can see, they just go along with it. |
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" The ethical slut is on my bookcase, but I I could t take it too seriously when it started talking about sexual energy and stuff. "
New Relationship Energy is definitely a thing for me. That heady, awesome feeling when you have a connection with someone new, and the mindfulness you need to pay to ensure any other partners don’t feel it means you love them any less. NRE is an ambrosia of hormones and chemicals that give you the same high drugs do. But I also experience limerence, when a partner of mine finds that with someone else. I love that about poly. Sharing in everyone else’s joy and connection. Even if you’re not in their relationship. And the bond between metamours is beautiful.
More than two is more about the practical implications of poly.
I have both on audiobook and i dip in and out when dickheads like whoever messaged you try to make me doubt myself. You gave them a lot more of your time in replying than they deserved.
Sass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" New Relationship Energy is definitely a thing for me"
He’s got alexithymia.. so processing/recognising that is pretty much impossible. Sex + love = not Linked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He got a 2day forum ban for sharing that message he got :p
Probably not long enough to chance his outdated brain unfortunately. "
I meant my fiancée got a 2 day ban. Not the person who sent the message. |
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"Happy to chat. I am slow to respond. Apologies in advance.
Key point to note. Polyamory is a massive catch all term. We have never met anyone who does it the same way as anyone who else. So just sit down. Work something out. For example, we don’t aim to find other partners and let it naturally progress. Other like then pokemon ‘gotta catch them all’ style of as many partners as possible. Neither is wrong.
Other key point is honesty and openness ss. We literally have zero lies or secrets. If you can’t do honesty, it’s going to suck hard.
But the begat feeling. Expressing how you’ve got/developing feeling for someone and having support. You’re not having to lie to yourself or them and no one should get hurt.
"
Great profile guys x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happy to chat. I am slow to respond. Apologies in advance.
Key point to note. Polyamory is a massive catch all term. We have never met anyone who does it the same way as anyone who else. So just sit down. Work something out. For example, we don’t aim to find other partners and let it naturally progress. Other like then pokemon ‘gotta catch them all’ style of as many partners as possible. Neither is wrong.
Other key point is honesty and openness ss. We literally have zero lies or secrets. If you can’t do honesty, it’s going to suck hard.
But the begat feeling. Expressing how you’ve got/developing feeling for someone and having support. You’re not having to lie to yourself or them and no one should get hurt.
Great profile guys x "
He says thanks. He’s still got a 2 day forum ban. The other person did get an account deletion though.
Poly for me (and him) just works. No jeaslousu. So
Worrying about developing feelings. |
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"Happy to chat. I am slow to respond. Apologies in advance.
Key point to note. Polyamory is a massive catch all term. We have never met anyone who does it the same way as anyone who else. So just sit down. Work something out. For example, we don’t aim to find other partners and let it naturally progress. Other like then pokemon ‘gotta catch them all’ style of as many partners as possible. Neither is wrong.
Other key point is honesty and openness ss. We literally have zero lies or secrets. If you can’t do honesty, it’s going to suck hard.
But the begat feeling. Expressing how you’ve got/developing feeling for someone and having support. You’re not having to lie to yourself or them and no one should get hurt.
Great profile guys x
He says thanks. He’s still got a 2 day forum ban. The other person did get an account deletion though.
Poly for me (and him) just works. No jeaslousu. So
Worrying about developing feelings. "
Oh dear that sounds like he's been bad boy getting a ban.i agree should be no jealousy that's distructive not constructive as long as everyone's honest and content the way it should be x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hoping my GF and my best friend get together romantically and he regularly fucks her and they fall in love "
How realistic do you think that actually is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not Poly but we are interested in Ethical Non-Monogamy. We are open to dates as well as sex but probably wouldn't bring a third person into our marriage long term. |
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By *andRCouple
over a year ago
barry |
We have had a few poly relationships. One lasting years that ended when we married as she stepped away but has returned a few times over the years and is our long term goal to be all living together.
Others have been a bit more limited , mainly gfs of Ry that have occasionally joined us but our last was a long term ish 7 to 8 months full blown poly with dates between all or just 2 that was amazing.
As others have said Honesty is paramount and each poly arrangement is different so you all need to talk and agree on how things progress.
Ditto to wanting lockdown to end so we can all get back out there and love each other.
Xx G |
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By *inranWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
There are so many different forms of poly.
Personally I find multiple individual relationships easier than triads or groups because the more intertwined the more complicated the management.
But that's purely personal. Communication and trust is key though. The only issue hubs and I have ever had with poly is when we have seen the other person being decided or treated badly.
But sadly that's a part of dating however you do it at times. |
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I'm a single dad who still has his kids living with so a poly dynamic as a non primary partner is one of the scenareos that I'd give serious consideration with the right person/couple.
Covid has somewhat focused my mind so the above or a long term relationship with a cuckold couple are two very appealing dynamics that I would give serious consideration. |
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By *andRCouple
over a year ago
barry |
"Benefits far out way the negatives, 2 cooks, 2 cleaners, 2 ironers, perfect haha, sorry I cdnt resist x "
Don't forget the 2 mouth blow jobs that are a daily legal obligation in any mff poly arrangement.
No one tell Ry different Haha
Xx G |
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