FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Can a swinger cheat?
Can a swinger cheat?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If there was an agreement in place and it wasn't agreed then of course it's wrong.
Cheating may be a bit strong but everyone will have their own definition of that word |
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If you’re both swingers then there’s no need to sneak out for a meet whilst the other is sleeping.
They should be able to go with your full blessing. So yes, it’s cheating in my eyes.
But as we’re on lockdown still, I’m presuming this is hypothetical?  |
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The sneaking part is a total lack or respect 
Even if no sex has taken place yet , the intention is there ...why would anyone jeopardise a relationship for the sake of a drink ???
It is my opinion that there are serious issues that need to be addressed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
Reply in forum please "
Without a shadow of doubt...yes |
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"The sneaking part is a total lack or respect
Even if no sex has taken place yet , the intention is there ...why would anyone jeopardise a relationship for the sake of a drink ???
It is my opinion that there are serious issues that need to be addressed "
Well said. |
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I'd see meeting someone off here without prior discussion as off limits unless it was someone you already consider a mate and there wasn't going to be and never had been anything other than friendship.
Sneaking about it... Low blow and not on.
Swinging is can be a tightrope to walk and lines need to be adhered to or someone will tumble, sometimes it can be rectified with a discussion and reiteration of expectations, boundaries and rules but other times that one "little" thing is enough to cast seeds of doubt and set the brain into overdrive. |
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To cheat is to act dishonestly or unfairly to gain an advantage over another. All swingers will have rules of engagement that are agreed to between them. They widely vary, but if one party breaks those rules they have cheated.  |
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"If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
Reply in forum please "
Don’t know if going for a drink with someone is classes as cheating, but total disrespect for the agreement and limits is vile in itself.
Sex is sex, lying, cheating or sneaking around is vile. Weather it’s a drink, a text or sex!
If you feel the need to hide it then why would you do it. Gross. xx |
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"If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
Reply in forum please "
Wouldn't call a drink cheating. But many questions...
1. Did they deliberately wait for the partner to fall asleep to sneak out?
2. Did they meet someone both halfs already know or someone new?
3. Were they planning this behind unsuspecting partners back?
4. Did the half that went out for a drink tell where they were right away or did they keep it quiet and got busted?
Answers to all of those questions can either make it innocent or turn it into potential cheat.
That said, from personal experience way too many fabbers confuse a simple social drink with play. Those two things should not be confused with each other as it does bring many misunderstandings to all parties.
Missus |
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"If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
Reply in forum please "
Yep, agreeing something together then going against that and being dishonest is cheating x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The sneaking part is a total lack or respect
Even if no sex has taken place yet , the intention is there ...why would anyone jeopardise a relationship for the sake of a drink ???
It is my opinion that there are serious issues that need to be addressed "
I’ve kind of come to that conclusion.... never been in a swinging relationship before so it’s weird...and too much hassle as the trust has gone xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For a drink, personally I wouldn't class that as cheating. Sneaking out though, thats a different story!"
Whilst I’m asleep.... the more I think about it it’s wrong! |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
Reply in forum please "
Obviously it's cheating as it's breaking the agreement which the two as a couple have or had |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd see meeting someone off here without prior discussion as off limits unless it was someone you already consider a mate and there wasn't going to be and never had been anything other than friendship.
Sneaking about it... Low blow and not on.
Swinging is can be a tightrope to walk and lines need to be adhered to or someone will tumble, sometimes it can be rectified with a discussion and reiteration of expectations, boundaries and rules but other times that one "little" thing is enough to cast seeds of doubt and set the brain into overdrive."
So well put thank u x |
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"For a drink, personally I wouldn't class that as cheating. Sneaking out though, thats a different story!
Whilst I’m asleep.... the more I think about it it’s wrong!"
Just because you invite other people into your sex life doesn’t mean it’s a free for all to do what you want.
If it’s clearly against what was agreed then what’s the point of having the conversation in the first place.
Exact reason I’ll only ever club with someone, fab and single meets will be an absolute no go xx |
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"If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
Reply in forum please "
anything sneaky or behind their partners back is cheating.. swinger or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldnt class it as cheating as such, i guess it depends on the dynamic, like was it a date ect
But doesnt mean its not an extremely extremely shitty thing to do |
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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago
S. Northants |
For us, that would be yes. All play has to be consented to even if it is arranged for only DR to play with a lady.
Even if a regular lady that he is meeting, sneaking out or behind the back is not acceptable.
The only exception would be to fulfil a particular scenario/fantasy that has been agreed before hand but maybe without any times, dates or partners set. This would still need to be something that is agreed in principle. And even then, ONLY with complete honesty of what's happened.
If there's no trust its dangerous to swing. Cheating is dishonest, swinging within the rules you and your partner agreed to is not. |
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Yes, if not physically cheating it’s certainly breaking emotional trust between the couple.
If you have agreed to only meet people off this website as a couple then that’s an agreement that’s clearly been broken |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for your opinions on this one, got a bit lost in the grey areas but after hearing your wise words.... there was no grey area as we had discussed no meeting unless we are together, HIS idea so....oh well I’m sure I’ll have more fun as a unicorn! |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I think it's totally disrespectful and I wouldn't be happy if my other half did it. Not when we are on here as a couple.
If he wanted you to meet as a couple only, sounds like he wants his cake and eat it. |
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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago
S. Northants |
"Thank you for your opinions on this one, got a bit lost in the grey areas but after hearing your wise words.... there was no grey area as we had discussed no meeting unless we are together, HIS idea so....oh well I’m sure I’ll have more fun as a unicorn!"
Sorry to hear that. Hope all will be OK, as a unicorn or as a couple. X |
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"it's not cheating if they only had to drink. Cheating is actually shagging. "
I wouldn't class it as cheating, but I would have a problem with the sneaking part, it breaks trust and you do need that when swinging, seriously would you be happy if you woke up your partner had sneaked out?? |
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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago
S. Northants |
"it's not cheating if they only had to drink. Cheating is actually shagging. actually I'd argue that cheating does not need to be a physical act"
Agreed. It just needs to be something outside the pre-agreed boundaries. Sneaking anywhere is a big way to lose trust and ruin what you had. |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
Depends completely on the individual boundaries, if it was just a drink and they have agreed to only play together then you should be fine? But if it's a drink and it's agreed that dates need to be together.. then yes?
As a rule if you have to lie about it, or you want to immediately lie about it, then you probably shouldn't be doing it |
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I wouldn't class it as cheating but definitely it is wrong if it's not what has been agreed on and would be a trust issue.
If they feel the need not to tell the partner then it would make me think there are intentions to do something other than just a drink or they know that the partner wouldn't be happy about it.
Kx |
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By *1bttmMan
over a year ago
Shoreditch east London |
Sneaking out would concern me as it implies there's something to hide. Yr doing it behind someone's back and not being open and honest and more importantly breaking someone's trust.
However under the terms of yr swinging agreement did u both agree u would share what u'd been upto as individuals, was it u would only do it together, or a totally open agreement giving each other a free reign to do anything at anytime? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sneaking out would concern me as it implies there's something to hide. Yr doing it behind someone's back and not being open and honest and more importantly breaking someone's trust.
However under the terms of yr swinging agreement did u both agree u would share what u'd been upto as individuals, was it u would only do it together, or a totally open agreement giving each other a free reign to do anything at anytime?"
Strictly together as ‘he’ would get jealous and I am loyal.... Great ass by the way...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you for your opinions on this one, got a bit lost in the grey areas but after hearing your wise words.... there was no grey area as we had discussed no meeting unless we are together, HIS idea so....oh well I’m sure I’ll have more fun as a unicorn!"
Really sorry to hear this. If you need a female friend to have a drink with and want to talk to someone, I'm close by (and I don't mean that in a sleazy/presumptive way at all) xx |
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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago
S. Northants |
"Thank u xxx anyone know if I can change my profile to a singles one?
If you contact admin I think they can do it for you.
And good luck with your single profile. Hope you're ok."
We're looking forward to the single profile if we're honest. 
Keep smiling!  |
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By *aked2sumCouple
over a year ago
every where |
"If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
Reply in forum please "
100% cheating if your lucky enough to be in a swinging relationship you should know what each other think is right from wrong and respect each other’s boundaries |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank u xxx anyone know if I can change my profile to a singles one?"
Just delete it and create a new one. You have no veris to lose.
Hope you are ok. Xx |
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By *ogueAngelMan
over a year ago
Near Bath / Bristol |
"If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
Reply in forum please "
The fact that someone has to sneak out suggests it all really. Whilst it may only have been a drink, there would have been no reason to not be open about it if they felt it okay. And this is before exploring intent or anything like that.
Having read through a bit it seems you're going solo! All the best - you've got a community around you that's got your back. X |
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Twice now I’ve met couples and the lady has approached me privately afterwards..
One found me on Facebook, the other made a single profile on here ..
And just for information I refused to meet either on there own..
Very true story |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If one of a swinging couple sneaks out at night to only have a drink with someone from this website while the other is sleeping ..... when an agreement had been made to only play together..... Cheating right?
Reply in forum please "
Yes it’s cheating .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on the dynamic and the agreements. Dadt may demand a little sneaking
You obviously didn’t read the thread "
I did, I just have a different perspective. If it's a generally open relationship. Ie nsa and fwb is OK just be discreet but don't swing apart. Then is meeting for drinks with someone cheating on the relationship? Meeting a couple for play surely is. Not ideal in todays post poly society where everyone's floodlit... |
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"Depends on the dynamic and the agreements. Dadt may demand a little sneaking
You obviously didn’t read the thread
I did, I just have a different perspective. If it's a generally open relationship. Ie nsa and fwb is OK just be discreet but don't swing apart. Then is meeting for drinks with someone cheating on the relationship? Meeting a couple for play surely is. Not ideal in todays post poly society where everyone's floodlit... "
I think cheating isn’t the actual act, it’s doing something ie chatting to or meeting someone without the other person’s involvement in any way ..
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100% cheating.
If it's not within the agreed parameters of the relationship and violates trust.
My husband and I have rules in place and neither of us break them. It's about respect and sneaking anywhere is definitely not respectful. |
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