Hey, we are sounding this out and trying to workout our dos and don'ts. We are interested in what rules other couples set themselves when swinging.
Also interested in reviews on London based clubs. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
and another biggie for us no alcohol when having meets that includes social or play meets that not just us the the other .others if you need booze to loosen yourselves then theres something wrong as sex should get the adrenaline going nothing worse than when you see d*unks making a ass of themselves at clubs/meets it of blurs the consent line and for some theres no consent at all |
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"Hey, we are sounding this out and trying to workout our dos and don'ts. We are interested in what rules other couples set themselves when swinging.
Also interested in reviews on London based clubs."
We aren’t full swap so for us our rules are no penetrative sex for either of us, N doesn’t want to kiss anyone and I only kiss other women. No means no is the main one. We only speak to couples that we are both interested in speaking to, we keep everything to FAB messaging where we can both see everything or on a group chat through Kik. We have an immensely trusting relationship so it just depends on your own boundaries really.
We’ve only been to one club in London which was Our Place 4 Fun, it was a nice club although very small. Our favourite club is Penthouse which isn’t too far from London.
C x |
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We don't think of them as rules, we just want to do things a certain way.
We don't kiss passionately on the mouth. I (f) don't like receiving oral. We're soft swing. We don't knowingly meet married single men.
We put all this on our profile so that only people who are happy to play the same way contact us...If they've read our profile  |
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"We don't think of them as rules, we just want to do things a certain way.
We don't kiss passionately on the mouth. I (f) don't like receiving oral. We're soft swing. We don't knowingly meet married single men.
We put all this on our profile so that only people who are happy to play the same way contact us...If they've read our profile "
We have the same feelings regarding married people.
C x |
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"We don't think of them as rules, we just want to do things a certain way.
We don't kiss passionately on the mouth. I (f) don't like receiving oral. We're soft swing. We don't knowingly meet married single men.
We put all this on our profile so that only people who are happy to play the same way contact us...If they've read our profile
We have the same feelings regarding married people.
C x"
We try to avoid it but we're certain we've been fooled a couple of times. |
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"We don't think of them as rules, we just want to do things a certain way.
We don't kiss passionately on the mouth. I (f) don't like receiving oral. We're soft swing. We don't knowingly meet married single men.
We put all this on our profile so that only people who are happy to play the same way contact us...If they've read our profile
We have the same feelings regarding married people.
C x
We try to avoid it but we're certain we've been fooled a couple of times. "
No doubt it happens. We just don’t feel comfortable partaking in that sort of deception.
C x |
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"We don't think of them as rules, we just want to do things a certain way.
We don't kiss passionately on the mouth. I (f) don't like receiving oral. We're soft swing. We don't knowingly meet married single men.
We put all this on our profile so that only people who are happy to play the same way contact us...If they've read our profile
We have the same feelings regarding married people.
C x
We try to avoid it but we're certain we've been fooled a couple of times.
No doubt it happens. We just don’t feel comfortable partaking in that sort of deception.
C x"
Neither do we. We don't pass judgement we just don't want to be involved.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was thinking more like rules for playing. Eg No kissing etc"
Every couple is different. You need to discuss and put your own boundaries in place.
Only you will know as a couple what you both find acceptable and what you’re looking for when you meet others. |
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"Was thinking more like rules for playing. Eg No kissing etc
Every couple is different. You need to discuss and put your own boundaries in place.
Only you will know as a couple what you both find acceptable and what you’re looking for when you meet others."
This 100% you and only you can only decide what's right for you, no one else can decide what you both want from swinging so just talk to each other and set your own boundaries. |
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1. Never with anyone from our Vanilla friends.
We know at least 3 couples that were friends before we began swinging and we have gone clubbing with them but won't play with them as we value the friendship more than sex.
2. No work colleagues.
We don't need to muddy waters or bring drama into our lives at work or home.
3. All communication is on here and can be viewed by us both. She has full access to this account and we share access on our couples account.
4. We try to avoid married men and women who are cheating on their partner.
It's not a judgement on them as it isn't up to us to do so, we just don't choose to be involved in causing anyone any pain or heartache plus we have worked hard to enjoy this lifestyle ourselves and don't need the inevitable drama that will come when their partners find out.
Partners always find out in the end.
5. When playing no rules as such. Sex should feel natural and evolve on its own.
We are both human and rarely but sometimes something we do can make our partners jelous. For example a little sigh or or excited yelp. It can be anything really and completely unforeseeable but we are both pretty good at reminding ourselves that without each other permission they wouldn't be having that little bit of extra pleasure so in another way it is us that is giving them that pleasure if that makes sense.
6. Safe sex for intercourse. No judgement on the bare backers here at all but our preference is to play safe. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"and another biggie for us no alcohol when having meets that includes social or play meets that not just us the the other .others if you need booze to loosen yourselves then theres something wrong as sex should get the adrenaline going nothing worse than when you see d*unks making a ass of themselves at clubs/meets it of blurs the consent line and for some theres no consent at all"
Many adults can enjoy alcohol without becoming ‘d*unks making a ass of themselves’! It doesn’t mean there is ‘something wrong’ with them if they do.  |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"
We’ve only been to one club in London which was Our Place 4 Fun, it was a nice club although very small. Our favourite club is Penthouse which isn’t too far from London.
C x"
I'd echo this about Penthouse. 
OP4F is tiny but nice, only other London club is Le Boudoir but personally I'd not go to to a club that will make a completely subjective decision on how attractive you are before allowing you to attend.
OP if you want to explore clubs you probably need to look outside the M25 where there are plenty |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
Amd as you are probably realising already from this thread, whatever your rules some won't agree with them!
Which is fine, find your rules and boundaries but remember others may not want to meet you based on them and that's okay too. Don't expect other couples to relax their rules to meet yours in the same way you wouldn't relax your own |
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Boundaries - not rules. For us rules implies some sort of absolute, when it’s not always the case. Boundaries can shift and change - rules get broken.
When we first started swinging, our list of boundaries was long. Very long. But we (as a couple) were new to swinging. Over time our boundaries have changed, with more experience and communication, and as our desires shift or we are comfortable experiencing more. You can see our current boundaries on our profile. We’ve not many these days  |
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More boundaries rather than rules, generally if it's a no from one of us then it's a no go, no taking on for the team that's not fair on anyone.
We've not met with another couple yet mainly because I'm (Mrs) yet to meet a male half that I can either see (pics on profile) or click with, but same with couples unless there's 4 way attraction it's a no.
Kissing we both like.
Bareback is a no.
That's about it.
Mrs
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As soft swing couple we merely say own partner penetation only. Is it a rule or a boundry doesnt really matter. It is however something we as a couple have decided been here since 2013 and it hasnt changed much. Basically if we enjoy an act and wish take pleasure in sharing that we we will discuss it before and if both are comfortable with we try it. Knowing that once youve done something youll never be able to undo it. Makes sure we are 100% into sharing that act. Make your boundiares before to share and only change them if whilst your not in the play envioment and wigh the fullest consent of one another no one should get hurt.
Mostly enjoy thr adventure!! |
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We are soft swing but that is about our only rule. We also tend to be almost constantly in contact physically when playing, whether that be kissing, bodies touching or just hands touching so it never feels like swapping but rather sharing others with each other, ideally everyone being bi and happy with whoever’s fingers, lips and tongue are kissing and caressing them. That just evolved and we decided that felt right for us. We have been to Le Boudoir which can’t be that judgemental on looks as they let me, the male half, in! She of course is beautiful and was always going to make the cut. It is pricy but a beautiful venue. It could do with a quieter place, with more sofas to socialise earlier in the evening for us. We have also been to The Hellfire Club (which was before Covid) and it was a nice venue but not very busy, and mainly single men wandering about staring, the Saturday night we went, but it was friendly. |
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"Hey, we are sounding this out and trying to workout our dos and don'ts. We are interested in what rules other couples set themselves when swinging."
They're more agreements (or what we can expect from each other), than rules.
One of the few that remains is "No exes." This is really more about no one that might cause a problem for the relationship.
So, e.g. if I have a colleague that I spent more time with each week than Alice - and Alice didn't know her or ever socialise with her - but Alice had seen photos and found her threatening (for whatever reason), it would be a no.
Or anyone that we felt we could develop feelings for would be a no. We are very much an open/hot-wife/swinger couple, not poly.
I'm not sure I worded that very well! |
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Unless we all click then no
If one says stop we stop
Anal is for Marc only with me
All need to chat together
We're only just starting to dip our toes in and had one meet so they may change or may be added to as we go on.
Tg x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have no set rules aslong as every party is having fun and at ease anything goes. We normally discuss with the other party/parties prior to make sure everyone is happy then its time to get down to business 
Bareback fine
Kissing the more the better,
Spanking and hair pulling crack on
Aslong as everyone is happy and connecting we have no issues.
Although poo and pee will always be a no go but we have never been with anyone that has ever been in to this anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Boundaries - not rules. For us rules implies some sort of absolute, when it’s not always the case. Boundaries can shift and change - rules get broken.
When we first started swinging, our list of boundaries was long. Very long. But we (as a couple) were new to swinging. Over time our boundaries have changed, with more experience and communication, and as our desires shift or we are comfortable experiencing more. You can see our current boundaries on our profile. We’ve not many these days "
Perfectly put. |
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