FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Would you accept sex criticism?
Would you accept sex criticism?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Before fab I had only been with one person all my life and not for 15 years were we physical. This was certainly a turn on for my first few meets, virgin territory.
However I’ve often wondered, am I any good? Well maybe a bit harsh as I have had compliments but still felt the lack of experience.
There have been times a guy has told me to stop or tell me to do thing differently. I actually find this helpful. I’ve also had someone refuse to verify me (not that I’m bothered) because he didn’t think we were sexually compatible. 
Would you rather constructive criticism for performance or rather they keep quiet? |
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Constructive criticism should be a good thing, I’d happily accept is and it surely makes the next experience that much more enjoyable. However, what one partner likes might be the complete opposite for another.
The only request I’ve had to make to more than one partner is; no teeth with the blowjob thanks! I mean really |
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"I’ve also had someone refuse to verify me (not that I’m bothered) because he didn’t think we were sexually compatible. "
Wtf?!
I guess how they go about it is everything, but I need the feedback. I hate it if someone is loudly faking it or just lying there inert, then says it was the best thing ever afterwards and begs for more. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve also had someone refuse to verify me (not that I’m bothered) because he didn’t think we were sexually compatible.
Wtf?!
I guess how they go about it is everything, but I need the feedback. I hate it if someone is loudly faking it or just lying there inert, then says it was the best thing ever afterwards and begs for more. "
He actually did something (not sexual) during sex that was way out of my comfort zone. It frightened me as I didn’t know what it was and he hadn’t discussed it beforehand  |
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Everyone is different, so a little guidance as to what feels best to them personally is absolutely fine the first couple of times.
I think if I'd been seeing someone for a while and they were still trying to direct me a certain way I'd take it as a base incompatibility and stop seeing them. |
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Everyone likes different things, a little nudge in the right direction is always appreciated, what I like and what another woman likes will be totally different, the way my man likes his cock sucked and others like theirs sucked again will be totally different, I think communication is key.
To be honest I rarely orgasm at meets.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is different and we like things done differently. There are certain things that really turn some people on and not others. I like some guidance when we have a couple swap with a new couple. I know exactly what J wants and likes but a new person can have a completely different set of likes and dislikes.
Guidance is great but criticism could be a passion killer. |
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"I’ve also had someone refuse to verify me (not that I’m bothered) because he didn’t think we were sexually compatible.
Wtf?!
I guess how they go about it is everything, but I need the feedback. I hate it if someone is loudly faking it or just lying there inert, then says it was the best thing ever afterwards and begs for more.
He actually did something (not sexual) during sex that was way out of my comfort zone. It frightened me as I didn’t know what it was and he hadn’t discussed it beforehand "
Apologies if you don't want to discuss it, but I wondered what the nonsexual thing was that he did.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind men telling me how they want me to do stuff during sex... different men like different things.
I would not like it if a man told me I was doing it wrong or no good at it though .. |
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I think sometimes this comes down to confidence, too. I once met somebody (for the first time) who at the mere suggestion of ‘I may be into you’ sat me down, stood over me, pulled her dress and knickers down, grabbed my fingers and shoved them up to her G spot and said “if we’re gonna do this, you got to hit me there”! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before fab I had only been with one person all my life and not for 15 years were we physical. This was certainly a turn on for my first few meets, virgin territory.
However I’ve often wondered, am I any good? Well maybe a bit harsh as I have had compliments but still felt the lack of experience.
There have been times a guy has told me to stop or tell me to do thing differently. I actually find this helpful. I’ve also had someone refuse to verify me (not that I’m bothered) because he didn’t think we were sexually compatible.
Would you rather constructive criticism for performance or rather they keep quiet? "
I always want a partner, even a one-off, to have a good time, so if a lady has a way that gets her off and I'm not doing it naturally, I'm happy to be given advice. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
Ach. So, it's a tricky one. I'm happy to to a certain extent. If they need to give me a running commentary, I don't think we're that compatible sexually. It would actually make me lose interest in sex. I like things to be more natural, instinctual.
I do love watching people wank and that's a good way of learning how someone likes to be touched. But I'd rather not have verbalised instructions, I like paying attention to the non-verbal cues. Like the change in breathing, the tense/evidently more aroused state a person enters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A friend of mine told me that if a guy is going down on her and not pressing her buttons she takes his hand and traces her finger against his palm in the pattern she wants his tongue to explore her pussy. That sounds to me like a nice way to do it. |
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Same as a lot of people have said, happy for some guidance if they need/ want something a specific way. But as others have mentioned if they need to constantly change/ alter how I’m doing it then we probably aren’t compatible and should prob just shake hands and move along 
Mrs c x |
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"Before fab I had only been with one person all my life and not for 15 years were we physical. This was certainly a turn on for my first few meets, virgin territory.
However I’ve often wondered, am I any good? Well maybe a bit harsh as I have had compliments but still felt the lack of experience.
There have been times a guy has told me to stop or tell me to do thing differently. I actually find this helpful. I’ve also had someone refuse to verify me (not that I’m bothered) because he didn’t think we were sexually compatible.
Would you rather constructive criticism for performance or rather they keep quiet? "
If im doing something wrong then i want to be told, then i can do it right |
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By *4bimMan
over a year ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
"Before fab I had only been with one person all my life and not for 15 years were we physical. This was certainly a turn on for my first few meets, virgin territory.
However I’ve often wondered, am I any good? Well maybe a bit harsh as I have had compliments but still felt the lack of experience.
There have been times a guy has told me to stop or tell me to do thing differently. I actually find this helpful. I’ve also had someone refuse to verify me (not that I’m bothered) because he didn’t think we were sexually compatible.
Would you rather constructive criticism for performance or rather they keep quiet? "
if helpful and your happy with it then fine.
as for the one who wouldnt leave you a verification just block.
selfish tbh and im sure someone else will be hapy to meet you.
good luck  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
The difference between feedback, guidance and criticism is sometimes minimal and entirely down to the tone of voice, choice of words and what spurred the person to need to speak in the first place.
What seems like criticism to the receiver may just be feedback.
What seems like an instruction may simply be guidance.
Context is key.
If you're someone who gets over excited , caught in the moment or is one of those people that's experienced something with someone else that went well and you assume that will be the same for another, then you should expect it to be pointed out if your porn taught frantic finger blast technique with the sole aim of making her squirt is too rough for her and a total turn off.
Likewise if someone is in the mood for something more frantic than gentle kisses and soft touches.
Communication is key. In advance, during and after.
Else what one thinks was a great experience and extremely pleasurable will be viewed completely differently by the other.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before fab I had only been with one person all my life and not for 15 years were we physical. This was certainly a turn on for my first few meets, virgin territory.
However I’ve often wondered, am I any good? Well maybe a bit harsh as I have had compliments but still felt the lack of experience.
There have been times a guy has told me to stop or tell me to do thing differently. I actually find this helpful. I’ve also had someone refuse to verify me (not that I’m bothered) because he didn’t think we were sexually compatible.
Would you rather constructive criticism for performance or rather they keep quiet? "
We think there's a difference between criticism and communication, how it's handled is important, with guidance is always better. It's better to communicate but it can be difficult for both parties to say that something isn't what they like and to try something different. |
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with the right guidance shown in the right way 