FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > bdsm experts please.
bdsm experts please.
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I am currently doing something for the dominant that has me under consideration. I however don't know one of the terms being asked about.
My instructions were to look on the sites if I didnt understand... however I have looked and can not find anything, so I am turning to you good people.
Boxing and closeting... I am kinda guessing its something like being put in a box etc????
Help..
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You're on the right track.
My take on it is this, if he has the knowledge and you don't, then he should teach you, and instil in the you the idea that he knows what he is doing.
Go google it and report back to me bitch would instil in me a belief that the person in question was winging it and really had no more idea than you.
I may have *entirely* the wrong end of the stick about what is going on, but the business of prospecting isn't like trying to win the apprentice or dancing on crap by completing a series of tasks.... rather it is a case of managing to NOT do something that would mark you out as not being that which you would claim to be...
either way, good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
it to be fair is to give him a good idea of what I am already experienced in.. my hard limits, my soft ones..
I just had not heard of a few things before.. and I love to go and learn new things..and actually dont like being told like a stupid child. lol
He seems very experienced.. to be honest to have me even thinking about it he must be.. as I was all set to never ever ever ever submit again.. till he had that affect over me...
I am sure if I was really stuck I could ask him... but I would rather do well all by myself.. If I had been told NOT to ask others then I would have been googling all day  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
He seems very experienced.. to be honest to have me even thinking about it he must be.. as I was all set to never ever ever ever submit again.. till he had that affect over me... "
Baby, contrary to what most being write, which is bullshit, being sub / dom is not a matter of choice, any more than being straight / gay.
You is what you is, and the only questions are how long you fight that reality, and whom you choose to associate with, and it is THOSE two factors that determine whether you have a life of strife or a life of pleasure.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Oh I know its not something you choose.. lol.. as if I could choose I would not put myself through it again.. but it just snuck up on me."
There is the secret right there.
Alcoholics who haven't touched a drop for 10 years still call themselves alkies and still use coping strategies when near booze.
You should be the same with your sub tendencies.
If they sneak up on you they are in control, you aren't, not good for you or the prospective dom. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The problem is that boxing and closeting are two entirely different things though in the BDSM world seem to come under bondage.
On one website that seemed to be where people could ask questions, I got the following comments:-
'I love boxing, closeting and cages as a form of reflection, to go deeep into myself and my submission, as a learning tool. It's very meditative to me.'
'To be kept dressed only for your master pleasure for days weeks fed fucked bound tortured trained broken down and rebuilt in his mold for you, objectified molested degraded humiliated kept in closets for when he seeks to use you only or to be a pretty object for his viewing pleasure'
I also found this comment:-
'I would place her in these situations where she was bound so that she was also being stimulated aroused constantly while hooded and closeted and then listen to her moans and orgasms even though she'd try to prevent or fight them her body and mind would betray her'
But this one, I think gives a slightly better idea:-
'i'm up to closeting too, but only the other way around, i.e. to be kept dressed for the pleasure of the Mistress, to be boxed, bound and fucked by Her and to be used as a viewing object for Her pleasure'
Therefore I would deduce that perhaps boxing or being boxed and closetted are one and the same, especially from this comment from a sub/slave:-
'For me boxing/closeting/cages are simply comfortable, relaxing, calming....I was put in them to be left alone to think of my submission to him, to feel his control over me.' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am currently doing something for the dominant that has me under consideration. I however don't know one of the terms being asked about.
My instructions were to look on the sites if I didnt understand... however I have looked and can not find anything, so I am turning to you good people.
Boxing and closeting... I am kinda guessing its something like being put in a box etc????
Help..
Cali "
i think it is a form of seclusion whilst you are in another form of bondage,gives sensory dep , but google will probably have more, or the forums in fet, good luck xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am currently doing something for the dominant that has me under consideration. I however don't know one of the terms being asked about.
My instructions were to look on the sites if I didnt understand... however I have looked and can not find anything, so I am turning to you good people.
Boxing and closeting... I am kinda guessing its something like being put in a box etc????
Help..
Cali "
Cali, please be careful......one sub to another.....xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I am currently doing something for the dominant that has me under consideration. I however don't know one of the terms being asked about.
My instructions were to look on the sites if I didnt understand... however I have looked and can not find anything, so I am turning to you good people.
Boxing and closeting... I am kinda guessing its something like being put in a box etc????
Help..
Cali
Cali, please be careful......one sub to another.....xx"
Always am. Once bitten. Twice shy as they say. I'm no longer green. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am currently doing something for the dominant that has me under consideration. I however don't know one of the terms being asked about.
My instructions were to look on the sites if I didnt understand... however I have looked and can not find anything, so I am turning to you good people.
Boxing and closeting... I am kinda guessing its something like being put in a box etc????
Help..
Cali
Cali, please be careful......one sub to another.....xx
Always am. Once bitten. Twice shy as they say. I'm no longer green. X"
It's not necessarily the green I am worried about.....it's the black and blue...lol..Have fun but mind out for that heart of yours......x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am currently doing something for the dominant that has me under consideration. I however don't know one of the terms being asked about.
My instructions were to look on the sites if I didnt understand... however I have looked and can not find anything, so I am turning to you good people.
Boxing and closeting... I am kinda guessing its something like being put in a box etc????
Help..
Cali
Cali, please be careful......one sub to another.....xx
Always am. Once bitten. Twice shy as they say. I'm no longer green. X
It's not necessarily the green I am worried about.....it's the black and blue...lol..Have fun but mind out for that heart of yours......x"
+1  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Interesting to hear an earlier post saying you don't choose to be sub or dom in the same way as being straight or gay, you are just born that way. Have to confess I find the whole scene incredibly strange but as long as everyone involved is safe than each to their own.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Don't worry. My heart isn't on offer. This is very different for me as last time my submission was given because of love. This time it's given because I want to. Big difference. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I hate that phrase "under consideration"
All the benefits without the responsibilities.
"
Not really. As I am considering him too. Under the protection of i guess is a better way of putting it. And I asked him.
However I completed my little task for today and now we can work out if we are on the same level. As there is no point any submissive or dominant picking someone that is wanting different things.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not that I'm an expert but a brief chat with a sado friend has told me that these are isolation, edgeplay techniques only generally used for severe punishment with a sub or slave that you have an established relationship with. Certainly not play.
I think small confined spaces, dirty, ballgagged, bound, blindfolded. No one cares if you need to pee. Only taken out to please the Dom.
I imagine the deprivation would only go on for a few hours but its meant to be maddening and there are lots of variations based on the theme.
A milder form of the whole thing would be to take you out of public life for so many days, keep you dressed or naked, only feed you scraps, withdraw all your email and telephone priviledges.
Ive known all this done, but didnt know it was called closeting and boxing.... So Im not 100%.
No way I'd ask this from a sub. Or offer it to a Dom.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Not that I'm an expert but a brief chat with a sado friend has told me that these are isolation, edgeplay techniques only generally used for severe punishment with a sub or slave that you have an established relationship with. Certainly not play.
I think small confined spaces, dirty, ballgagged, bound, blindfolded. No one cares if you need to pee. Only taken out to please the Dom.
I imagine the deprivation would only go on for a few hours but its meant to be maddening and there are lots of variations based on the theme.
A milder form of the whole thing would be to take you out of public life for so many days, keep you dressed or naked, only feed you scraps, withdraw all your email and telephone priviledges.
Ive known all this done, but didnt know it was called closeting and boxing.... So Im not 100%.
No way I'd ask this from a sub. Or offer it to a Dom.
"
I think that depends on your level of play... I know some people who would and have, spent weeks in a small dark damp place, chained to a wall etc...
Yes it needs a whole heap of trust, but I know they crave the next time it happens! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not that I'm an expert but a brief chat with a sado friend has told me that these are isolation, edgeplay techniques only generally used for severe punishment with a sub or slave that you have an established relationship with. Certainly not play.
I think small confined spaces, dirty, ballgagged, bound, blindfolded. No one cares if you need to pee. Only taken out to please the Dom.
I imagine the deprivation would only go on for a few hours but its meant to be maddening and there are lots of variations based on the theme.
A milder form of the whole thing would be to take you out of public life for so many days, keep you dressed or naked, only feed you scraps, withdraw all your email and telephone priviledges.
Ive known all this done, but didnt know it was called closeting and boxing.... So Im not 100%.
No way I'd ask this from a sub. Or offer it to a Dom.
"
I've found so many different things for it. I wasn't being offered. Just asked what I had done. And this came up lol. So I was thinking is it something I've done. I happen to love edge play but these things take trust.
I found out loads of things that I didn't know were out there. Some made me think oh my god. Others oh yes.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't worry. My heart isn't on offer. This is very different for me as last time my submission was given because of love. This time it's given because I want to. Big difference. "
xxxxxxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Cali,
Listen to what the other people on here the other submissive are telling you its very good advice. You can never put an older head on your shoulders but the advice is very sound in what they are saying and I do agree with them.
In repose to the poster of this I would like to add what Dick put, that there used to be a saying and its always stuck with me all these years it was Dim Doms as they are called would always ``say on your knees bitch’’ well those people we always give them a very wide berth.
It sounds to me like this person is the same a control freak, and you know how people become that because somewhere in their life they are insecure and it comes out like this, they think by ordering another one about that is being Dom nooo far from it.
I have found over the years to be honest that knowing real people that practice this compared to people who haven’t got a clue, I have come to this concussions about such people, they read something on the net watch a few x rated movies and this Dom is Domineering, a bully, like the egg story, like the people that make clover clamps from things they find in their glove compartment of there car, they haven’t got a clue.
I would say that Dick is correct it seems like he hasn’t got much of an idea about what a dominant is maybe he needs to go on goggle as well
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A note to Dick, I was reading that back please excuse me I didnt mean yourself I meant this guy thats got the small man syndrome
and the other thing i did forget to mention not one of us is an expert, we all are still leaning no matter how long we have been doing it and any one that says they are an expert is probably lying because no one on this planet knows everything about it  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Now Dick, that’s another storey altogether he was the moderator of that site sometimes a bit like God or liked to think he was, if you spoke out against him he made sure you paid for what ever, I recall having a run in with him myself, he tried but he didn’t not succeed.
So I think everyone’s had a lesion from him and that’s possibly why it folded or there may have been some other implications.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
So I think everyone’s had a lesion from him and that’s possibly why it folded or there may have been some other implications.
"
The person your referring to was not the easiest man in the world to get on with and yes could make a users life difficult if they upset him ( I did on at least two occasions over the years). Bit like some of the mods on other web sites lol
But having the vision and drive to build and maintain a website such as IC, that did more for the development of mainstream kink in the UK than any site or publication since shouldn't be denigrated.
I think he has decided the site is not about what he wants to be involved in and is moving on. IC's membership was growing so your theory on him losing his users doesn't stand up to scrutiny
I wonder how long before the trolls and fuckwits clutter other sites and drag them down? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I never said it was a bad wed site in fact it was the best web site, and yes your correct in what you have said, but what I am saying is that if you didn’t agree with him and he said it himself in his profile he would not get involved in disputes then he changed his own rules to suit that’s the point I was referring to us we all seem to have encountered at some point. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cali,
Listen to what the other people on here the other submissive are telling you its very good advice. You can never put an older head on your shoulders but the advice is very sound in what they are saying and I do agree with them.
In repose to the poster of this I would like to add what Dick put, that there used to be a saying and its always stuck with me all these years it was Dim Doms as they are called would always ``say on your knees bitch’’ well those people we always give them a very wide berth.
It sounds to me like this person is the same a control freak, and you know how people become that because somewhere in their life they are insecure and it comes out like this, they think by ordering another one about that is being Dom nooo far from it.
I have found over the years to be honest that knowing real people that practice this compared to people who haven’t got a clue, I have come to this concussions about such people, they read something on the net watch a few x rated movies and this Dom is Domineering, a bully, like the egg story, like the people that make clover clamps from things they find in their glove compartment of there car, they haven’t got a clue.
I would say that Dick is correct it seems like he hasn’t got much of an idea about what a dominant is maybe he needs to go on goggle as well
"
So correct after break up with 1st husband started "living" out my sub side and meet so-called Dom's from another site... Most have no idea what this life style is about and u end up black and blue... Then meet my "dream" he showed me that Domination needs not be just the "black and blue", but that 90% of it is in the mind and that the mind is the most powerfull sex organ of the body  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cali,
Listen to what the other people on here the other submissive are telling you its very good advice. You can never put an older head on your shoulders but the advice is very sound in what they are saying and I do agree with them.
In repose to the poster of this I would like to add what Dick put, that there used to be a saying and its always stuck with me all these years it was Dim Doms as they are called would always ``say on your knees bitch’’ well those people we always give them a very wide berth.
It sounds to me like this person is the same a control freak, and you know how people become that because somewhere in their life they are insecure and it comes out like this, they think by ordering another one about that is being Dom nooo far from it.
I have found over the years to be honest that knowing real people that practice this compared to people who haven’t got a clue, I have come to this concussions about such people, they read something on the net watch a few x rated movies and this Dom is Domineering, a bully, like the egg story, like the people that make clover clamps from things they find in their glove compartment of there car, they haven’t got a clue.
I would say that Dick is correct it seems like he hasn’t got much of an idea about what a dominant is maybe he needs to go on goggle as well
So correct after break up with 1st husband started "living" out my sub side and meet so-called Dom's from another site... Most have no idea what this life style is about and u end up black and blue... Then meet my "dream" he showed me that Domination needs not be just the "black and blue", but that 90% of it is in the mind and that the mind is the most powerfull sex organ of the body "
Your so right and not just in a D/S relationship  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I think I've done very well with my new dominant but it's early early days. We are still talking more than doing. It is more about the mind than anything else and it takes a lot for me to be able to give over any control
so for now I will enjoy the journey
But I have my head firmly screwed on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
with the whole Domination thing you have to be very very careful that the Dom isn't just a control freak rapist misogynist bastard that wants to take out his hate and rage on a woman.
In a D/s or M/s dynamic the s has all the power, we have safe words and limits, if the D or M over steps these, he (or she) isn't competent enough to have this position of gifted power. Its not all about what he wants.. its about what you want too..
best of luck Cali
stay safe, listen to your gut
XX
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
mine(linksjinxs) is correct...without the sub a Dom is not a Dom. first thing real Doms should do is tend to your safety needs before anything should happen.submission is a gift. the fakes do not understand the beauty in structured order or the strength and trust it takes for another person to lower to their knees. they dont understand that submission is not a sign of weakness, a lack or intelligence, or a desire to feel pain or humiliation. though..there are some that do like that but your Dom should never step outside your limits set out from the start in a Dom/sub contract. but in saying that..it is not fair to the Dom that the goal posts a constantly moved on him or her |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"with the whole Domination thing you have to be very very careful that the Dom isn't just a control freak rapist misogynist bastard that wants to take out his hate and rage on a woman.
"
and for the sake of balance...
... you have to be very careful, the sub isn't just a cluster B false rape accusing misandrist bitch that wants to take out her hate and rage on man.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
