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politeness and being kind
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion  |
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion "
What makes you believe this?
I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.
Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything either |
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Same, the world could do with more kindness, far too many people suffering especially the last few years that even a little kindness can go a long way to help lift others moods and make the day that bit brighter |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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"Same, the world could do with more kindness, far too many people suffering especially the last few years that even a little kindness can go a long way to help lift others moods and make the day that bit brighter"
mate I'm totally with you on that.
I try and put light in everything and everyone I meet.
Why wouldn't you |
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Obviously I don’t know how you interact with people and the level of politeness and manners you display, but at times there can be a very fine line between *excessive* politeness and simping etc.
Of course most rational people would agree that manners, politeness and respect are noble values to be admired. But sometimes if laid on a bit *too* thickly can appear insincere or false?
Maybe if sometimes you get “turned off” vibes from others from your politeness, it may be how this is perceived by them? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion
What makes you believe this?
I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.
Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything either"
ok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences |
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By *hmygodMan 35 weeks ago
Banbury Oxford |
There’s no point in being rude or aggressive it get you know where !! And life’s to short enjoy yourself and have fun
Respect and politeness all the way .. it would just be nice if the ladies felt they could respond to a compliment without men making them uncomfortable or sending dick pics … we all have feelings |
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion "
Yes, odd that it is frequently requested in profiles but rarely valued on here. |
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion "
How do you know your politeness and kindness puts people off? Personally we're only interested in polite people. |
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion
What makes you believe this?
I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.
Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences "
I tend to start messages regarding possible meets as follows:
“I’m polite, confident and comfortable with spontaneity (tonight would be good!) or a ‘no expectations’ social first, while ultimately looking to pamper tease and please you, of course!
I’m sensual, tactile and fun - experienced and happy with vanilla-ish, or to push boundaries if desired.”
Too polite? |
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion
What makes you believe this?
I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.
Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences "
I have. There's a level of extreme politeness I find horribly awkward. |
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion
What makes you believe this?
I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.
Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences
I have. There's a level of extreme politeness I find horribly awkward. "
Yes me too. Still not clear why OP think politeness is the turn off. I would assume that is not the reason. Rather that there is not a turn-on from other things?
Also I've found sometimes the people who makes the biggest deal about being polite and respectful can turn into the least polite and respectful people imaginable when something doesn't go as they wish. Not accusing you of this OP but a few experiences have made me wary. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 35 weeks ago
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion
How do you know your politeness and kindness puts people off? Personally we're only interested in polite people."
had people say you don't seem like a dom, because I've not been aggressive.
If your any kind of person you understand that you can do things more subtlety
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion
What makes you believe this?
I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.
Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences
I tend to start messages regarding possible meets as follows:
“I’m polite, confident and comfortable with spontaneity (tonight would be good!) or a ‘no expectations’ social first, while ultimately looking to pamper tease and please you, of course!
I’m sensual, tactile and fun - experienced and happy with vanilla-ish, or to push boundaries if desired.”
Too polite?"
Not too polite but too general and most people would say something similar. Doesn't make you stand out from hundreds of others. Better to start by highlighting something in the profile or status of the person who are writing to. |
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion
How do you know your politeness and kindness puts people off? Personally we're only interested in polite people.had people say you don't seem like a dom, because I've not been aggressive.
If your any kind of person you understand that you can do things more subtlety
"
I’ve been described as ‘sensually dominant’ and rather like that description. In the same way as I lead a team of people at work without having to shout at them, be rude, or abuse them.
Dominance has nothing to do with aggression. But some obviously like aggressive, I guess. |
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"Manners are definitely an attractive feature. Some people on Fab have impeccable manners. Others not so much. Like in real life. "
Yes but if you send a generic cut and paste message even if polite and well-mannered, then it’s unlikely to get you very far. |
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By *vilgasamWoman 35 weeks ago
The dot in the i |
Yes and no, I tend to return whatever energy they have
A lot of the time my politeness is taken as weaknesses
I start polite but they stop so I stop too, then I’m the problem, for mirroring them
Or the other is my politeness being taken as flirting, it’s just a smile, it’s not attraction
Politeness has a time and place yes but that goes two ways, I’ll be as polite as they are
But I’ll also stand up for myself if needed too, it’s a fine line to try ti walk but I suppose that’s just society these days |
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion
How do you know your politeness and kindness puts people off? Personally we're only interested in polite people.had people say you don't seem like a dom, because I've not been aggressive.
If your any kind of person you understand that you can do things more subtlety
"
Probably they don't fully understand the different ways of being a dom |
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By *elkieWoman 35 weeks ago
Durham |
Depends what you mean by polite.
If you think it’s only polite for me to reply to your message, despite the fact that my profile says club meets only and your says you don’t do clubs, you’re the person being rude. Not me.
If your politeness makes other people feel uncomfortable, it’s not politeness. I need a man to let me hold the door open for him sometimes.
And if you need to tell me you think you’re polite, I am immediately suspicious, because good manners are things that I largely take for granted in my circle of friends. They are the bare minimum that I expect from people, and not in any way exceptional or unusual. |
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By *host63Man 35 weeks ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion
What makes you believe this?
I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.
Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences
I tend to start messages regarding possible meets as follows:
“I’m polite, confident and comfortable with spontaneity (tonight would be good!) or a ‘no expectations’ social first, while ultimately looking to pamper tease and please you, of course!
I’m sensual, tactile and fun - experienced and happy with vanilla-ish, or to push boundaries if desired.”
Too polite?"
It implies that you are too eager to please. In Other words simping |
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"No I totally agree, and some see it as a sign of weakness.
I know who I am and what I am .
I don't need to be aggressive or rude to put my point across "
Are you saying people prefer aggressive and rude? |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.
It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.
Would be interested in other people's opinion "
If it turns them off that's their problem mate.
There is no need to be anything other than respectful and polite. I have received horrendous messages on here and the ladies must get even worse.
Courtesy costs nothing and I'd sooner be a nice guy that turns someone off than a fucking wanker |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"I think some people think because I’m respectful or polite I can’t be a deviant, I just think it’s a bit full on if my opening message is I want to bend you over and spank you! Lol
"
Oh I've had some that open with I'd love to lick your shitbox and fist you.. I mean seriously...... |
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By *mmAloneMan 27 weeks ago
South Cheshire / Staffs |
Totally agree - always treat people as you would hope they would treat you back.
My personal hate is people who get all short and angry if you fail to reply to their messages immediately. |
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