FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Red flags for couples.
Red flags for couples.
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I do not meet the male of a male/female couple on his own, whatever his excuse that his partner is busy/ill/away. Too many men pretending to be couples, if he is lying about that, about what else is he lying? Oh, and if the couple want gifts, 420, or snow, or Kik. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Biggest red flag for us is when Kath starts the conversation and then I'll continue for whatever reason and then silence falls, this is why we prefer groups etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those up for meeting couples, what are your red flags when initially interacting with them on here or when you move to texting etc?"
When the female half of the couple can never chat because they are busy at work! Complete red flag there. Block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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should never discus what put us off others or people will fake it to get around you ... keep em guessing we are not here to help others affectively try to be someone else to get around our red flags... |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
99 pics of her and one just of his cock and toes.
The conversation is just sex orientated, or they want to know exactly what I want to do to them.
They only message when they're obviously horny, late at night and show no interest in replying any other time.
You arrive and Mrs is out.
 |
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"Those up for meeting couples, what are your red flags when initially interacting with them on here or when you move to texting etc?"
When people say they are a couple on a S/M’s account.
420 friendly.
No pics or just one.
When they message with only one liners.
When they wink you chat and your not compatible, they wink again you chat again and your still not compatible, they wink again block.
Luckily they are the minority in our experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No pictures of the male half, as the fictitious female can't take pictures.
Haven't had a meets despite being on fab for over a year.
Or the last meeting was years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No pics of the male half of a couple is off putting. Unless it’s only the female that plays. "
That's 90% of couples profiles. Excluding 1 or 2 dick pics. |
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"When they send instructions and demands with their introductory message. "
Haha.
Wish we had some instructions or demands, it would be hilarious.
What do they instruct or demand for a meet?
Actually showing up is a decent enough demand and directions to the pub a decent enough instruction but what else.
I'm intrigued... 
Go on, make some |
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Not a list of red flags as such but our way to avoid wasting time is relying heavily on veris (quality, frequency and by who), we look for those who have met someone we have and while not always possible you will be surprised how small local swinging circles can be. Profiles with no recent veris and those claiming to be "returning", "back after a break" are the ones we avoid. Ofcourse there are exceptions so we ask for video call with both m and f. |
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"When they send instructions and demands with their introductory message.
Haha.
Wish we had some instructions or demands, it would be hilarious.
What do they instruct or demand for a meet?
Actually showing up is a decent enough demand and directions to the pub a decent enough instruction but what else.
I'm intrigued...
Go on, make some "
I've been told to lose the beard or I wouldn't get to fuck the wife.
I've been told I'm too old and too straight to have any success here but if i agree to play bi and/or bring a sexy woman along they will consider adding me to their to-do list for future meets.
I've been told my bio is bs and just for show and that men don't have options so why would I want to meet for a social? I was to book an hotel in their area for the following weekend and they would then tell me how it was going to work.
These were all from couples with 80-100 veries and when I said no to all of them I was then told I was an idiot and should be grateful.
I was asked if I didn't know who they were and their standing in the community and how they could end my fab journey with just a few messages.
Bearing in mind I haven't sent a single introductory message in 4 years so each of these couples had contacted me and not the other way around.
I couldn't make it up if I tried. |
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We have winked and messaged couples and no interest back as a couple, then 6 months later we get a message we have split up, ur profile and pics are absolutely amazing, would lve to meet you both ha ha yeah i bet you would. Then we have the odd one where the female is always working abroad but the male is chatting to set up future meets fpr them both and wants pics errr NO ! We get same single guys messaging every day and we tell them same every day, no thanks ! Some get nasty and we block. Had profile, not paid up, no pics, no profile pic, but sends a phone number ? No gonna happen, well watch my cams and you will change your mind, errrr NO ! Then you get couples where both male and female just want to play with the female and try to push the male out and refuse him any fun. There are lots of nice genuine couples like ourselves on here, its talking that finds what you want with the right couples xxx |
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"When they send instructions and demands with their introductory message.
Haha.
Wish we had some instructions or demands, it would be hilarious.
What do they instruct or demand for a meet?
Actually showing up is a decent enough demand and directions to the pub a decent enough instruction but what else.
I'm intrigued...
Go on, make some
I've been told to lose the beard or I wouldn't get to fuck the wife.
I've been told I'm too old and too straight to have any success here but if i agree to play bi and/or bring a sexy woman along they will consider adding me to their to-do list for future meets.
I've been told my bio is bs and just for show and that men don't have options so why would I want to meet for a social? I was to book an hotel in their area for the following weekend and they would then tell me how it was going to work.
These were all from couples with 80-100 veries and when I said no to all of them I was then told I was an idiot and should be grateful.
I was asked if I didn't know who they were and their standing in the community and how they could end my fab journey with just a few messages.
Bearing in mind I haven't sent a single introductory message in 4 years so each of these couples had contacted me and not the other way around.
I couldn't make it up if I tried."
That’s disgusting, well done for saying NO. |
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"we look for those who have met someone we have and while not always possible you will be surprised how small local swinging circles can be"
We have seriously considered this, messaging people that have given a veri to people we have played with adds a layer of authentication. Also helps with group play. |
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"we look for those who have met someone we have and while not always possible you will be surprised how small local swinging circles can be
We have seriously considered this, messaging people that have given a veri to people we have played with adds a layer of authentication. Also helps with group play."
It's also a blockable offence where I'm concerned. I've had people message others I've verified in the past to ask about me even though we have never spoken so anyone who does that gets blocked.
Any form of networking without consent is a major red flag. |
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"99 pics of her and one just of his cock and toes.
The conversation is just sex orientated, or they want to know exactly what I want to do to them.
They only message when they're obviously horny, late at night and show no interest in replying any other time.
You arrive and Mrs is out.
"
200 PC this
Although I only go to clubs to interact with people |
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"we look for those who have met someone we have and while not always possible you will be surprised how small local swinging circles can be
We have seriously considered this, messaging people that have given a veri to people we have played with adds a layer of authentication. Also helps with group play.
It's also a blockable offence where I'm concerned. I've had people message others I've verified in the past to ask about me even though we have never spoken so anyone who does that gets blocked.
Any form of networking without consent is a major red flag. "
Why are you so bothered about people finding out if you’re safe/genuine etc? |
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"Those up for meeting couples, what are your red flags when initially interacting with them on here or when you move to texting etc?
When the female half of the couple can never chat because they are busy at work! Complete red flag there. Block "
This is why we make it clear we reply as a couple at weekends. During the week we have family stuff to occupy our time |
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We don’t get anywhere with couples online - either only one is chatting and so there’s no connection built up or you wonder whether they actually know their partner is chatting to us.
Even for singles we take the chat to Telegram so we can all get involved and they can see how much both of us chat/interact. That way they can see that we are both in this together rather than one of us.
K
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"we look for those who have met someone we have and while not always possible you will be surprised how small local swinging circles can be
We have seriously considered this, messaging people that have given a veri to people we have played with adds a layer of authentication. Also helps with group play.
It's also a blockable offence where I'm concerned. I've had people message others I've verified in the past to ask about me even though we have never spoken so anyone who does that gets blocked.
Any form of networking without consent is a major red flag.
Why are you so bothered about people finding out if you’re safe/genuine etc?"
I'm not. I'm bothered about them asking for my name and personal details as they have done.
I'm also bothered by the fact that they don't have the ability to make their own minds up about me and take the time to message and get to know me. Instead they decide to message another fabber who they don't know either or have never met to get their opinion. |
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"we look for those who have met someone we have and while not always possible you will be surprised how small local swinging circles can be
We have seriously considered this, messaging people that have given a veri to people we have played with adds a layer of authentication. Also helps with group play.
It's also a blockable offence where I'm concerned. I've had people message others I've verified in the past to ask about me even though we have never spoken so anyone who does that gets blocked.
Any form of networking without consent is a major red flag.
Why are you so bothered about people finding out if you’re safe/genuine etc?
I'm not. I'm bothered about them asking for my name and personal details as they have done.
I'm also bothered by the fact that they don't have the ability to make their own minds up about me and take the time to message and get to know me. Instead they decide to message another fabber who they don't know either or have never met to get their opinion. "
Fair point about finding out your name and such but some people have perhaps had bad experiences in the past and like to be more thorough.
Your red flags are your red flags though. |
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"we look for those who have met someone we have and while not always possible you will be surprised how small local swinging circles can be
We have seriously considered this, messaging people that have given a veri to people we have played with adds a layer of authentication. Also helps with group play.
It's also a blockable offence where I'm concerned. I've had people message others I've verified in the past to ask about me even though we have never spoken so anyone who does that gets blocked.
Any form of networking without consent is a major red flag.
Why are you so bothered about people finding out if you’re safe/genuine etc?
I'm not. I'm bothered about them asking for my name and personal details as they have done.
I'm also bothered by the fact that they don't have the ability to make their own minds up about me and take the time to message and get to know me. Instead they decide to message another fabber who they don't know either or have never met to get their opinion.
Fair point about finding out your name and such but some people have perhaps had bad experiences in the past and like to be more thorough.
Your red flags are your red flags though."
I also have a couples profile here and would never think of messaging a complete stranger to ask their opinion on another complete stranger.
I've never met a couple due to everything I listed above in a previous post and never will as a single. |
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"When they send instructions and demands with their introductory message.
Haha.
Wish we had some instructions or demands, it would be hilarious.
What do they instruct or demand for a meet?
Actually showing up is a decent enough demand and directions to the pub a decent enough instruction but what else.
I'm intrigued...
Go on, make some
I've been told to lose the beard or I wouldn't get to fuck the wife.
I've been told I'm too old and too straight to have any success here but if i agree to play bi and/or bring a sexy woman along they will consider adding me to their to-do list for future meets.
I've been told my bio is bs and just for show and that men don't have options so why would I want to meet for a social? I was to book an hotel in their area for the following weekend and they would then tell me how it was going to work.
These were all from couples with 80-100 veries and when I said no to all of them I was then told I was an idiot and should be grateful.
I was asked if I didn't know who they were and their standing in the community and how they could end my fab journey with just a few messages.
Bearing in mind I haven't sent a single introductory message in 4 years so each of these couples had contacted me and not the other way around.
I couldn't make it up if I tried."
That's why we hardly meet couples from FAB.
To be fair, ones we met have been really nice, no drama queens, no baggage, no grief.
To be fair to single guys, any problems at parties is always from couples, never had any experience of single guys misbehaving.
In couples, generally the lady and most times alcohol is a big driver and sometimes, hilarious.
I'd say stick to socials, clubs and parties forget 121.
We've never been rude to any single guy who has contacted us and always respond to messages.
When we say messages, we mean a message, maybe a short message but a message nevertheless.
We don't consider "want to meet up" a message.
Don't be put off by the masses of timewasters on here, there is a percentage of fabulous people.
Good luck.
 |
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"When they send instructions and demands with their introductory message.
Haha.
Wish we had some instructions or demands, it would be hilarious.
What do they instruct or demand for a meet?
Actually showing up is a decent enough demand and directions to the pub a decent enough instruction but what else.
I'm intrigued...
Go on, make some
I've been told to lose the beard or I wouldn't get to fuck the wife.
I've been told I'm too old and too straight to have any success here but if i agree to play bi and/or bring a sexy woman along they will consider adding me to their to-do list for future meets.
I've been told my bio is bs and just for show and that men don't have options so why would I want to meet for a social? I was to book an hotel in their area for the following weekend and they would then tell me how it was going to work.
These were all from couples with 80-100 veries and when I said no to all of them I was then told I was an idiot and should be grateful.
I was asked if I didn't know who they were and their standing in the community and how they could end my fab journey with just a few messages.
Bearing in mind I haven't sent a single introductory message in 4 years so each of these couples had contacted me and not the other way around.
I couldn't make it up if I tried.
That's why we hardly meet couples from FAB.
To be fair, ones we met have been really nice, no drama queens, no baggage, no grief.
To be fair to single guys, any problems at parties is always from couples, never had any experience of single guys misbehaving.
In couples, generally the lady and most times alcohol is a big driver and sometimes, hilarious.
I'd say stick to socials, clubs and parties forget 121.
We've never been rude to any single guy who has contacted us and always respond to messages.
When we say messages, we mean a message, maybe a short message but a message nevertheless.
We don't consider "want to meet up" a message.
Don't be put off by the masses of timewasters on here, there is a percentage of fabulous people.
Good luck.
"
I'm not put off at all. I've been here 7 years and met lots of people in that time but I refuse to speak to anyone who doesn't treat me as an equal and thinks I should be grateful for their attention.
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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire/Northwest |
"Those up for meeting couples, what are your red flags when initially interacting with them on here or when you move to texting etc?
When the female half of the couple can never chat because they are busy at work! Complete red flag there. Block "
This!
We always end up with an excellent 3 way dynamic because I chat, Mrs Cherry will chat and the guy from the couple will chat but the woman wont say a word. |
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"Those up for meeting couples, what are your red flags when initially interacting with them on here or when you move to texting etc?"
biggest red flags are keeping on messaging after a meet is arranged with them telling you what they are going to do to you constantly and the death nail word ..yeah not yes
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"should never discus what put us off others or people will fake it to get around you ... keep em guessing we are not here to help others affectively try to be someone else to get around our red flags..."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Entitlement.
Some couples have a complex where they believe that they, in their infinite virtue as a couple, have bestowed upon me, a lowly peasant, the opportunity of a lifetime.
It's like, I'm sorry but even if you didn't look like extras from Corrie, I'd still block and move on. |
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Any hint that the guy is coercive or the woman's not totally into it or needs 'convincing'; massive age gaps or creepy language around age; any suspicion that she doesn't know he's on here. More generally 'couple' profiles which haven't been verified for years and could just be the guy still running the profile after they've split, or anyone who's been on here more than a week and still isn't photo verified. |
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"we look for those who have met someone we have and while not always possible you will be surprised how small local swinging circles can be
We have seriously considered this, messaging people that have given a veri to people we have played with adds a layer of authentication. Also helps with group play.
It's also a blockable offence where I'm concerned. I've had people message others I've verified in the past to ask about me even though we have never spoken so anyone who does that gets blocked.
Any form of networking without consent is a major red flag.
Why are you so bothered about people finding out if you’re safe/genuine etc?
I'm not. I'm bothered about them asking for my name and personal details as they have done.
I'm also bothered by the fact that they don't have the ability to make their own minds up about me and take the time to message and get to know me. Instead they decide to message another fabber who they don't know either or have never met to get their opinion.
Fair point about finding out your name and such but some people have perhaps had bad experiences in the past and like to be more thorough.
Your red flags are your red flags though.
I also have a couples profile here and would never think of messaging a complete stranger to ask their opinion on another complete stranger.
I've never met a couple due to everything I listed above in a previous post and never will as a single. "
I think you have totally misrepresented what we said. We don't ask for people's personal details, a veri from someone we know and trust is worth more than a veri from someone we don't know. They may still not be interested in us, but if they are then they could also get reassurance we were legit the same way. |
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"Those up for meeting couples, what are your red flags when initially interacting with them on here or when you move to texting etc?"
All their pictures are from 2016 with two meet veris when he managed to convince the missus to have that couple and their friends over from the new estate but she didn’t really enjoy it and he’s kept the profile going, trying to convince her to give it another go.. |
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"we look for those who have met someone we have and while not always possible you will be surprised how small local swinging circles can be
We have seriously considered this, messaging people that have given a veri to people we have played with adds a layer of authentication. Also helps with group play.
It's also a blockable offence where I'm concerned. I've had people message others I've verified in the past to ask about me even though we have never spoken so anyone who does that gets blocked.
Any form of networking without consent is a major red flag.
Why are you so bothered about people finding out if you’re safe/genuine etc?
I'm not. I'm bothered about them asking for my name and personal details as they have done.
I'm also bothered by the fact that they don't have the ability to make their own minds up about me and take the time to message and get to know me. Instead they decide to message another fabber who they don't know either or have never met to get their opinion.
Fair point about finding out your name and such but some people have perhaps had bad experiences in the past and like to be more thorough.
Your red flags are your red flags though.
I also have a couples profile here and would never think of messaging a complete stranger to ask their opinion on another complete stranger.
I've never met a couple due to everything I listed above in a previous post and never will as a single.
I think you have totally misrepresented what we said. We don't ask for people's personal details, a veri from someone we know and trust is worth more than a veri from someone we don't know. They may still not be interested in us, but if they are then they could also get reassurance we were legit the same way."
I understand what you are saying but I'm really uncomfortable with the whole idea of approaching a third party before approaching the person themselves.
I know of men who have received messages from women and couples claiming they had been recommended by someone they had met before.
They were not impressed that they were being discussed behind their backs. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Only pics of one half, if both play. If it's all the woman in the pics I tend to think he won't be that involved and it's all about her.
If it's just pics of male and old veries I'm always suspicious they've split up and he's still using that profile to try and get meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've seen some 'couple profiles' with dick pics only....& Even the way the bio is written you can kinda tell there's no woman present in these profiles at all.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No pics of the male half of a couple is off putting. Unless it’s only the female that plays.
That's 90% of couples profiles. Excluding 1 or 2 dick pics. "
so true!! |
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"
I understand what you are saying but I'm really uncomfortable with the whole idea of approaching a third party before approaching the person themselves.
I know of men who have received messages from women and couples claiming they had been recommended by someone they had met before.
They were not impressed that they were being discussed behind their backs. "
We don't approach a 3rd party, we read their veri. If we trust that person it's good enough for us. We also don't bring up who we know in any communication. If they look at our veris and see the same people then they can choose to not say anything either.
But we don't namedrop people.
I think you are over-analysing it, a known veri is more trusted than a stranger's veri, simple as that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No photo verification
No meet verification in a year
No photos
Can't Travel & Can't Host ??
A bucketlist of fantasies is better than a list of NO's
BS legal notice on profile  |
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The most recent red flag for me are the number of couples profiles where the male half has been removed from the profile details or more likely didn't exist at all.
It clearly states MF couple but where the male details should be there is just () and all verifications are as a single woman.
I normally ignore them as they have nothing to do with me but when they are well outside my age filters and use this as a way to get around those filters and send me a message that in itself is a major red flag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"should never discus what put us off others or people will fake it to get around you ... keep em guessing we are not here to help others affectively try to be someone else to get around our red flags..."
|
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By *ossann OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"No pics of the male half of a couple is off putting. Unless it’s only the female that plays.
That's 90% of couples profiles. Excluding 1 or 2 dick pics.
so true!!"
Speaking to this couple who have several pics of her and a couple where you can see a Black guy I the pic. Assumed the male person is the Black guy pictured. Nope. He's some white guy. He sent a vague picture of himself. Asked him for more pictures and he hasn't replied back.
They're highly verified so I have no idea what's going on but it's incredibly weird. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When the bloke is overly keen and she’s shaking with worry when you meet
Time to get up and leave
More like a massive red flag this one .I’ve probably missed other red flags before this |
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"When the bloke is overly keen and she’s shaking with worry when you meet
Time to get up and leave
More like a massive red flag this one .I’ve probably missed other red flags before this"
This one for the single guys
The wife having been bullied / coerced into it or maybe just not confident. The good guys will be polite, not create any drama and leave. |
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we are only seeking females (not couples) but its still effectively the same issue; the obvious red flag for us is a non-verified account who messages us saying they are interested and then tell us they will get verified when they have time....in a day or two....and never do....  |
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Some interesting points above.
Silhouettes, they usually end up disappearing.
Couples who don't seem to communicate with each other about meeting, acting separately.
Couples who don't read a profile before arranging a meeting.
To name a few. |
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When you can tell it's just the woman pulling a fast one. Often don't think the man actually knows his wife is using his pics on fab and probably has no interest in swinging. Always the way sorry the husband is I'll or away. These women will do anything to get cock picks I tell you |
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Not even swinging related but just trying to make friends with couoled people has always been so difficult or felt off where the male always seems to make little effort or is stand offish like im a threat or of little interest :/ really does suck.
Was only recently I met a couple who happened to be in the life style and similar minded that it felt so nice and inclusive to just be and all chill together without that feeling of something being off |
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By *ossann OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"When you can tell it's just the woman pulling a fast one. Often don't think the man actually knows his wife is using his pics on fab and probably has no interest in swinging. Always the way sorry the husband is I'll or away. These women will do anything to get cock picks I tell you "
I believe you |
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