FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Meeting single men
Meeting single men
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We’ve just had a social meet earlier today, actually our first meeting of a single fella as it’s always been couples until now. A very pleasant meet it was too. We kept reading about no shows and them turning up that look nothing like their profile pics but guess we got lucky. MrsJ is happy to meet a second time but possibly somewhere a bit more private.
Keep looking and choose carefully.
J&Jx |
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"Are any other couples finding it hard lately to meet genuine single men or are we being too picky"
No you’re not being picky - we’re finding it a struggle, too 🙄 all we want is a genuinely single, genuinely bi guy, for some nsa fun! |
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"Are any other couples finding it hard lately to meet genuine single men or are we being too picky
No you’re not being picky - we’re finding it a struggle, too 🙄 all we want is a genuinely single, genuinely bi guy, for some nsa fun!"
Single bi guy for meets with couples |
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"Are any other couples finding it hard lately to meet genuine single men or are we being too picky"
No, you're not being picky at any level! It's your perogative!
Having been on FAB for over 15 years out of 35 in this life choice, I've heard this comment numerous times by Ladies and Couples.
There ARE real Single Males out there but inevitably, it comes down to sifting through to not only the profiles on offer, but also the style and attitude on display and within the approach message content from each individual!
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It can be really hard to know whether you've found the right single man, for many reasons. It's very difficult for them to showcase themselves, in the ways that we all want and need, when they don't know us. And when they may want or have to leave some of their physical attributes off their public profile. When you can clearly see someone, such as in public, you can more easily evaluate them.
We could be seeing lots of their profiles but just be left with enormous uncertainty about them. And when in doubt, if nothing gave us lots of confidence in liking them, we'll err towards no. Situational limitations exacerbate the difficulty.
That said, the vast majority of people will just not be mutually compatible. There will be huge chasms between many and those who you would like.
If you can, getting to clubs and socials makes meeting with a large array of different men potentially less cumbersome. |
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We we're out and looking the other week. We put it on status, and dropped messages to some on line and near. 3 of them said, yes & they we're on way. 1 said they we,re at our location and could'nt see us. All 3 we're no shows!
NO, we don't need messages saying, ask you next time, or you would'nt let us down. I'm posting to show, couples get let down by single men too. |
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By *hechonkyduoCouple 7 weeks ago
Alphabet Mafia HQ, Dudleyish. |
We put as a status last week that we were looking, sent winks and messages too.
Most who contacted us back were not what we were looking for and clearly didnt read our profile first (as we kindly asked in the status) and 99% of the messages we sent left us on read.
It's so hard for single guys though. |
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By *obboMan 7 weeks ago
Lincoln |
I have found a few times I get s good connection with female side of a couple on chat and then it goes from there for a while and then suddenly will get blocked or deleted off snap etc. Out of nowhere. So it does go both ways! |
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I'm guessing you're just too picky OP? This site is overrun with solo guy profiles, it shouldn't be that difficult to meet one every now and then?
That being said, I don't message profiles who demand a face pic with my opening message, not when most messages are simply ignored, or read, then left unanswered. It's just too impersonal!
Here's a random thought though; why don't you message a profile you are interested in, instead of just sitting back and waiting for offers to roll in...? |
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"OP if you are relying solely on FAB to find meets it will be harder. Organised socials are the way to go, just by turning up any single guys there are in the top 5%"
We find this a good rule in general with everone too to befair. I think anyone who puts skin in the game at a club or organised event is far more likely to be serious and know the ropes to some extent. Far less flaky than the Internet and far less pretenders. Plus its far easier to get an instant feel for people and chemistry in person. This is why we pretty much exclusively look for people out in the real world than online. |
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Nothing wrong with being "Picky" as we are very "Picky" but there are some good ones on here but agree on best way to meet males is at socials events though as then you sort of know they know the rules/score ! |
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By (user no longer on site) 7 weeks ago
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"Nothing wrong with being "Picky" as we are very "Picky" but there are some good ones on here but agree on best way to meet males is at socials events though as then you sort of know they know the rules/score ! "
Fab profile alert  |
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"Nothing wrong with being "Picky" as we are very "Picky" but there are some good ones on here but agree on best way to meet males is at socials events though as then you sort of know they know the rules/score ! "
All well and good if you have a social event local to you, but who wants to travel miles to enter a room full of strangers? The only benefit I can see from that, is getting your profile verified, but verifications do not necessarily lead to actual meets... |
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"Nothing wrong with being "Picky" as we are very "Picky" but there are some good ones on here but agree on best way to meet males is at socials events though as then you sort of know they know the rules/score ! "
if we were looking for a single guy this is where we would start.. or at least finding one with social verifications...
Or regular club verifications especially with good feedback from club regulars.
To be fair we apply this to couples and ladies too. |
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By (user no longer on site) 7 weeks ago
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"Are any other couples finding it hard lately to meet genuine single men or are we being too picky"
Nothing wrong with being picky but for me there’s picky and there’s realistic/unrealistic and that applies to everyone’s searches/wants and needs. For me as a rule I won’t meet without verifications but its what works for you OP |
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"Well it's always more fun if there is some attraction and fun vibes between everyone who is playing, so yeah got tobe a little picky."
I think this is a point that lots of guys miss, especially with a straight male couple. The platonic chemistry between the guys is also really important. It's team work after all and something for everyone to enjoy. So it's not all about impressing the woman, you need to gel well with the guy too. So you can't go about ignoring the guy, you have to gel with him too. Seen this a few times in clubs. Genrally guys don't like it and neither to their women. And even if the female likes you if the guy isn't getting the right vibes off you he's going to veto you out. 3 way chemistry is so important, even in a straight male couple. Which of course will always be more difficult to find than a one on one situations.
(Obviously this may be a little different in some dynamics) |
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"Are any other couples finding it hard lately to meet genuine single men or are we being too picky"
I’ve found that once you get stuck in a rut of choosing not to meet people, sometimes it’s hard to get out of it.
You’re not being too fussy. You’re probably used to being selective and have subconsciously lost confidence in men, so now have a mental barrier preventing you wanting to meet. |
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Good single guys are out there. It's just that the majority of couples and single women are wary of the bad ones and (by and large) are either bombarded by those who put in a poor effort in their first contact, or think actually reaching out to a single guy is beneath them. |
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By *il-widgeMan 1 week ago
Stone Staffordshire |
I agree with a social event is a good place to meet couples (and singles too) and I always chat to both of the couple, if they are going to invite me into their relationship its only right to check we all get on outside of the bedroom or wherever... occasionally I have been able to arrange a couple meet via fab directly, just a little harder to find and actually happen... |
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"Are any other couples finding it hard lately to meet genuine single men or are we being too picky"
Women/couples have it tricky, there’s just so much choice.
There’s reason to be picky, of course. You think it’s hard getting a meet being a woman/couple? Trying being the genuine attractive single guy 😂 |
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Unfortunately I do not think it's just men, I think it's swinging in general, it really does seem to be dying a death. Too many arrogant self entitled people making ridiculous demands. I think people have lost sight of what swinging is actually about  |
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I’ve been approached by a few couples and it can be a bit hard to find a balance. They generally want me to fill a particular role which is fine I like the idea of helping fulfil a fantasy.
What I don’t like is the job interview process that makes me feel like a bit of a whore. Also if I wouldn’t get on with the guy in real life as in would happily go for beer or whatever, I’ve probably no interest in being a stunt cock in a threesome fantasy for him.
You are also probably best ignoring the desperate pleas in your inbox and searching for the candidates you agree on. |
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I think its getting harder in general for everyone on here. Lots of profiles demanding things/boosting their only fa*s account, then there are the ones having a quick wank and want a meet now, etc
I know im getting fussier as im getting older, but it really is hard.
If I find you attractive and think more could happen then im open to have a social.
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"We we're out and looking the other week. We put it on status, and dropped messages to some on line and near. 3 of them said, yes & they we're on way. 1 said they we,re at our location and could'nt see us. All 3 we're no shows!
NO, we don't need messages saying, ask you next time, or you would'nt let us down. I'm posting to show, couples get let down by single men too. "
Had 2 single guys no show in the past year.... |
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Being picky is the best strategy in this lifestyle. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes why shouldn't that apply to this scene. Shame you've had some rubbish experiences with single guy's, but not all are bad there's some good guys out there. |
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It's not just couples that it's hard for. I'm a single lady and it's hard for me too. So many time wasters or guys who want to get off on you.
Plus you meet a guy who you think yes this could work and they can be so inconsistent and blow hot and cold.
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I think it’s getting much harder.
We are looking for someone fairly regular who we can build a connection with.
We went to a social at a club a couple of months back and chatted to several gents. All fancied C, couldn’t stop staring at her.
We’ve met one once - trying to get a second date in the diary has proven hard and the chat is none existent.
Another guy lives 5 miles away but will he give us a date - always an excuse why he can’t do dates - he’s 5 mins away 🙄
It makes it so you can’t be bothered with the excuses, the lack of contact. So you become less tolerant the more you go on.
We’d much prefer people just being honest - we aren’t looking for anyone to be exclusive to us, so it’s strange that people feel they can’t be honest.
I think that’s the general crux of the problem for a lot of people in this lifestyle - too many people not telling the truth about their intentions.
K
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Finding for a male is bad enough .From chatting with couples. Yes I am looking for couples . I have not looked at OP profile.
Let’s say the criteria they are looking for , age range , where to meet ? Plus yes then see if attraction , chemistry between all ? Stacks the odds about finding a meet. Add to that no shows . Arranging date all can do. Makes wonder if anyone gets to meet ? |
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I suppose that you've not found the one that ticks your boxes. There are plenty to choose from but if it's anything like my experience as a single fella I'm generally at the other end of the country to those expressing an interest
Ce la vie |
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By *il-widgeMan 1 week ago
Stone Staffordshire |
"Are any other couples finding it hard lately to meet genuine single men or are we being too picky"
To be fair it doesn't help when chatting to a couple and then they block you because I said I was off out om a fab meet that night...🙄🤦♂️😢 |
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"Are any other couples finding it hard lately to meet genuine single men or are we being too picky"
Yes incredibly hard on here as either flakey or fakey lol
Not even many club nights that allow single guys either |
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By *bi HaiveMan 1 week ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Unfortunately I do not think it's just men, I think it's swinging in general, it really does seem to be dying a death. Too many arrogant self entitled people making ridiculous demands. I think people have lost sight of what swinging is actually about "
We're very choosy on the couples profile. Why would anyone not want to stick to their preferences and lower them just to get a meet?
I think this is the common misconception some men have on swinging sites, that because there's an abundance of them that it should be easy for women and couples to find company. It's not.
There could be double the number of men, but if all those extra people still don't fit what a woman or couple wants then the extra bodies just make for more work searching for the right people.
I don't think people have lost sight of what swinging is about. I think many have joined the site with preconceived notions and high expectations that simply being here will somehow get them meets and sex. It won't.
People being choosy is not a negative, especially when it comes to couples. They don't need to find someone else to enjoy sex. They have eachother. Adding someone else to their sex life is an additional element, not their entire sex life, so waiting to find the right person and not just settling should come as no real surprise. |
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"Unfortunately I do not think it's just men, I think it's swinging in general, it really does seem to be dying a death. Too many arrogant self entitled people making ridiculous demands. I think people have lost sight of what swinging is actually about
We're very choosy on the couples profile. Why would anyone not want to stick to their preferences and lower them just to get a meet?
I think this is the common misconception some men have on swinging sites, that because there's an abundance of them that it should be easy for women and couples to find company. It's not.
There could be double the number of men, but if all those extra people still don't fit what a woman or couple wants then the extra bodies just make for more work searching for the right people.
I don't think people have lost sight of what swinging is about. I think many have joined the site with preconceived notions and high expectations that simply being here will somehow get them meets and sex. It won't.
People being choosy is not a negative, especially when it comes to couples. They don't need to find someone else to enjoy sex. They have eachother. Adding someone else to their sex life is an additional element, not their entire sex life, so waiting to find the right person and not just settling should come as no real surprise. "
Absolutely 100% this!! |
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By *bi HaiveMan 1 week ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I think have seen on posts ?
Treat Fab as a social ‘ hobby ‘ . Bonus if find friends to meet and yes enjoy company with. Plus added sex ? "
As someone who started life on Fab as a single guy I'd 💯% endorse this approach.
I never used it as the sole approach to finding company and sex. Swinging has always been a social activity. Whether you're a single or a couple. It's hugely different from just nsa hook ups. Of course people can use the site for those if they choose, but understanding that for many (couples and singles) their swinging lives are just a part of their life and not the sum of it, that it's not simply a means to get laid and that however small, there needs to be an element of connection with others and most definitely attraction to both someone's physical features AND their personality, will go a long way to realising why some people come across to them as choosy, picky, fussy or whatever they want to call it when they find it hard to meet others.
Meeting people shouldn't be easy in my mind. That to me would indicate a mindset of being happy to settle for whatever is available at the time just to find a body to have sex with. 🤷♂️ |
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"I think have seen on posts ?
Treat Fab as a social ‘ hobby ‘ . Bonus if find friends to meet and yes enjoy company with. Plus added sex ?
As someone who started life on Fab as a single guy I'd 💯% endorse this approach.
I never used it as the sole approach to finding company and sex. Swinging has always been a social activity. Whether you're a single or a couple. It's hugely different from just nsa hook ups. Of course people can use the site for those if they choose, but understanding that for many (couples and singles) their swinging lives are just a part of their life and not the sum of it, that it's not simply a means to get laid and that however small, there needs to be an element of connection with others and most definitely attraction to both someone's physical features AND their personality, will go a long way to realising why some people come across to them as choosy, picky, fussy or whatever they want to call it when they find it hard to meet others.
Meeting people shouldn't be easy in my mind. That to me would indicate a mindset of being happy to settle for whatever is available at the time just to find a body to have sex with. 🤷♂️"
There is another thread on forums about attraction , difficult getting meets . This yes couples . I look at couples and females profiles. If have photo’s then check them . Some meet criteria say mine and profile . But I do not like what I see. Just move on . Yes even at my age . |
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"I think have seen on posts ?
Treat Fab as a social ‘ hobby ‘ . Bonus if find friends to meet and yes enjoy company with. Plus added sex ?
As someone who started life on Fab as a single guy I'd 💯% endorse this approach.
I never used it as the sole approach to finding company and sex. Swinging has always been a social activity. Whether you're a single or a couple. It's hugely different from just nsa hook ups. Of course people can use the site for those if they choose, but understanding that for many (couples and singles) their swinging lives are just a part of their life and not the sum of it, that it's not simply a means to get laid and that however small, there needs to be an element of connection with others and most definitely attraction to both someone's physical features AND their personality, will go a long way to realising why some people come across to them as choosy, picky, fussy or whatever they want to call it when they find it hard to meet others.
Meeting people shouldn't be easy in my mind. That to me would indicate a mindset of being happy to settle for whatever is available at the time just to find a body to have sex with. 🤷♂️"
Yep, this.  |
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