I am not a fan of the word "real" attached to "Doms" or "subs". It usually indicates that someone has not met what they wanted.
What counts as "D/s" has changed over the last 30 years. So when looking for a "Dom" or "sub" you have to be clear as to what you want. As another contributor said there is a wide spectrum of Domhood. These days it ranges from "pleasure doms" to " property owners". Some are high protocol some are low protocol. Some love impact some love psychological control.
Saying that there are no genuine doms is like a petrolhead saying there are no genuine cars in an era of electric cars and family cars. The Dom or sub has to be clear what kind of vehicle floats their boat and look for that. Without a full description the word 'Dom' is meaningless.
I would suggest the only way genuineness applies, is whether the Dom is committed to consent in any of the standard models from FRIES to RACK to PRICK. The Dom has the skills they said they have from impact to rope to the soft psychological skills. They understand safety from the physical aspects and the psychological aspects, and are committed to the submissive's well being.
I tend to think that when people say they want a Dominant,in fact they want a Top. I would suggest D/s requires a power or authority exchange. It is not just a matter of being pleasured in the bedroom,it goes beyond that. Whereas Topping and bottoming tends to be lead by the sub who sets out the scenario and sets out the parameters.
Anyway that's my tuppence, others will have a different view. |
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