FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why is it so hard to read a profile before messaging?
Why is it so hard to read a profile before messaging?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To all straight guys, seriously why is so hard for you to take a little time to read a profile before messaging and wasting everyone’s time? "
+ 🙋♀️
Trixie
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"To all straight guys, seriously why is so hard for you to take a little time to read a profile before messaging and wasting everyone’s time? "
I’ll be dead honest and say I’m sometime that taken with someone’s pictures/videos, the urge get the better of me and then I read the profile text and realise I’ve made a mistake by doing it in that order.
Lesson learned |
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Tbh, if somebody has a wall of text on their profile I don't even bother engaging.
I prefer to get to know somebody by talking to them, I don't want to read your biography before I speak to you.
Each to their own. I find there is a level of arrogance behind that expectation (that a person read everything you wrote before speaking), so it's win win for both parties if we don't speak. |
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"To all straight guys, seriously why is so hard for you to take a little time to read a profile before messaging and wasting everyone’s time?
I’ll be dead honest and say I’m sometime that taken with someone’s pictures/videos, the urge get the better of me and then I read the profile text and realise I’ve made a mistake by doing it in that order.
Lesson learned "
You say lesson learned, yet the phrasing implies you still do it sometimes 💜 |
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"Tbh, if somebody has a wall of text on their profile I don't even bother engaging.
I prefer to get to know somebody by talking to them, I don't want to read your biography before I speak to you.
Each to their own. I find there is a level of arrogance behind that expectation (that a person read everything you wrote before speaking), so it's win win for both parties if we don't speak. "
It is arrogant to message knowing you have not read their profile. |
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"Tbh, if somebody has a wall of text on their profile I don't even bother engaging.
I prefer to get to know somebody by talking to them, I don't want to read your biography before I speak to you.
Each to their own. I find there is a level of arrogance behind that expectation (that a person read everything you wrote before speaking), so it's win win for both parties if we don't speak. "
If by expecting people to read bios to understand what we look for is viewed as being arrogant then we’d be ok with that from people who are clearly ignorant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its not just single guys, I always ask if the person has read my profile before the chat gets to far. Many a conversation has turned sour because "i should have told them".
Its always good to read someone's profile before messaging, but it must be said, some are easier to read than others. 🫤😂 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they havnt bothered to read any of it at all i find it annoying but if they havnt read every word i wouldnt be that upset as if i didnt want to reply i just wouldnt and if if did then hopefully during the chat they would learn more about me anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tbh, if somebody has a wall of text on their profile I don't even bother engaging.
I prefer to get to know somebody by talking to them, I don't want to read your biography before I speak to you.
Each to their own. I find there is a level of arrogance behind that expectation (that a person read everything you wrote before speaking), so it's win win for both parties if we don't speak.
If by expecting people to read bios to understand what we look for is viewed as being arrogant then we’d be ok with that from people who are clearly ignorant. "
bang on  |
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"If they havnt bothered to read any of it at all i find it annoying but if they havnt read every word i wouldnt be that upset as if i didnt want to reply i just wouldnt and if if did then hopefully during the chat they would learn more about me anyway. "
Exactly, we're humans, not products on a shelf with specific stats.
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"Tbh, if somebody has a wall of text on their profile I don't even bother engaging.
I prefer to get to know somebody by talking to them, I don't want to read your biography before I speak to you.
Each to their own. I find there is a level of arrogance behind that expectation (that a person read everything you wrote before speaking), so it's win win for both parties if we don't speak.
If by expecting people to read bios to understand what we look for is viewed as being arrogant then we’d be ok with that from people who are clearly ignorant. "
Impressive mental gymnastics there, to accuse the person you're pushing expectations onto, of being arrogant.
Bravo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they havnt bothered to read any of it at all i find it annoying but if they havnt read every word i wouldnt be that upset as if i didnt want to reply i just wouldnt and if if did then hopefully during the chat they would learn more about me anyway.
Exactly, we're humans, not products on a shelf with specific stats.
"
You never read a word of mine im sure you called me bob at one point but i still like you 😘 |
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It's not just single guys but I'd say for us about 90% of single guys don't.
Maybe they trawl through profiles sending quick cut and paste generic messages hoping someone will bite or maybe they are bone idle or somewhere in between.
We do agree that some profiles are a chapter from war and peace but we would probably decide they are not for us after reading a few paragraphs.
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"If they havnt bothered to read any of it at all i find it annoying but if they havnt read every word i wouldnt be that upset as if i didnt want to reply i just wouldnt and if if did then hopefully during the chat they would learn more about me anyway.
Exactly, we're humans, not products on a shelf with specific stats.
You never read a word of mine im sure you called me bob at one point but i still like you 😘"
Bob? Probably a slip of the tongue related to boobs
I just enjoy getting to know people, it's good to have a little idea of their personality, but we're not playing top Trumps here, we're people with complex personalities which imo, cannot be reduced to two paragraphs.
Each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they havnt bothered to read any of it at all i find it annoying but if they havnt read every word i wouldnt be that upset as if i didnt want to reply i just wouldnt and if if did then hopefully during the chat they would learn more about me anyway.
Exactly, we're humans, not products on a shelf with specific stats.
You never read a word of mine im sure you called me bob at one point but i still like you 😘
Bob? Probably a slip of the tongue related to boobs
I just enjoy getting to know people, it's good to have a little idea of their personality, but we're not playing top Trumps here, we're people with complex personalities which imo, cannot be reduced to two paragraphs.
Each to their own. "
It was a poor joke lol glad to see it worked haha |
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"Tbh, if somebody has a wall of text on their profile I don't even bother engaging.
I prefer to get to know somebody by talking to them, I don't want to read your biography before I speak to you.
Each to their own. I find there is a level of arrogance behind that expectation (that a person read everything you wrote before speaking), so it's win win for both parties if we don't speak.
If by expecting people to read bios to understand what we look for is viewed as being arrogant then we’d be ok with that from people who are clearly ignorant.
Impressive mental gymnastics there, to accuse the person you're pushing expectations onto, of being arrogant.
Bravo."
Ignorant and arrogant name calling aside, if someone chooses to simply disregard a profile I wrote specifically to save repeating myself to everyone who wanders into my inbox, that tells me enough about how actually interested they are in me 💜 |
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I'd say 90% of people (not just guys) don't read my profile and immediately disqualify themselves from ever meeting me by doing so. Then they spend the next few messages coming up with various excuses about how they "did read it" but "got distracted/forgot/thought they'd be different". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The ones who didn't but clearly lie aboht having done so are pretty funny.
As soon as they ask "what are you looking" for we know that the conversation can stop there. |
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"Tbh, if somebody has a wall of text on their profile I don't even bother engaging.
I prefer to get to know somebody by talking to them, I don't want to read your biography before I speak to you.
Each to their own. I find there is a level of arrogance behind that expectation (that a person read everything you wrote before speaking), so it's win win for both parties if we don't speak.
If by expecting people to read bios to understand what we look for is viewed as being arrogant then we’d be ok with that from people who are clearly ignorant.
Impressive mental gymnastics there, to accuse the person you're pushing expectations onto, of being arrogant.
Bravo.
Ignorant and arrogant name calling aside, if someone chooses to simply disregard a profile I wrote specifically to save repeating myself to everyone who wanders into my inbox, that tells me enough about how actually interested they are in me 💜"
Agreed that's why I said "each to their own"
Not sure what the name calling bit is 🤣😂 |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
I do read profiles fully . As found especially with a couples profile . Can say be contradiction.
In profile details. Will say ‘straight’ for either . Yet in ‘bio’ . Normally near end. Categorically says males looking for must be ‘bi’ . Due to male, male play expected ?
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"The ones who didn't but clearly lie aboht having done so are pretty funny.
As soon as they ask "what are you looking" for we know that the conversation can stop there."
It’s a dead giveaway for me. The second I get asked this my reply is always the same “someone who can read” |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
It's not just men
I'm straight & I've had women message me and couples, who want that ffm..
It's people in general who don't read bios, or do and think they'd be an exception.
It's more obvious with me, due to how many there are on here though.
It's also a good filter, I get a message, I look at their bio and can tell straight away they've not read mine. So I delete the message unread. |
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It is infuriating because it's a waste of everyone's time.
I find it doesn't matter because single guys fall into two camps. They'll ignore it and expect you to spoonfeed them what's on your profile.
Or they'll read it and decide you don't know what you want and start attempting to change your mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The ones who didn't but clearly lie aboht having done so are pretty funny.
As soon as they ask "what are you looking" for we know that the conversation can stop there.
It’s a dead giveaway for me. The second I get asked this my reply is always the same “someone who can read” "
Top quality response. Might have to start using that. |
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"It is infuriating because it's a waste of everyone's time.
I find it doesn't matter because single guys fall into two camps. They'll ignore it and expect you to spoonfeed them what's on your profile.
Or they'll read it and decide you don't know what you want and start attempting to change your mind. "
Think that's a tad disingenuous to single guys.
Do they not bother reading profiles in full and then say they have and try to strike up a conversation.
Of course they do and that's fine, it's what would happen in a normal, face to face interaction or social meet.
Over the years and meeting loads of guys, couples and single ladies we have always found the single guys to be the most engaging, well behaved and thoughtful.
Many are socially and sadly sexually inept but their situation in life will only produce this result.
Couples are usually OK but unlike single guys sometimes booze can raise its ugly head and in a party or club can be embarrassing and most of the time it's the lady.
Been there, done that and for me in the early days it was down to nerves. Arrive at a house party or club, be wracked with nerves, down goes too many glasses of wine in a very short time.
Well that's my excuse !!!
Single ladies at parties and socials are wonderful but some who prop up the bar area in clubs are a nightmare.
Not so much to us but the way they speak and treat some single guys is a disgrace.
Maybe it's the Belle of the Ball syndrome as from the look of some they wouldn't get a second glance in a vanilla setting.
Heard one lady spout something to a single guy about having come from a shit relationship and she in someway wants her new guys to take up the slack.
I just smiled at the guy and spoke to him like he was a decent person.
He did point out to me that some people don't realise how nervous single guys get when in the swinging environment.
If in doubt, be nice, be kind, be engaging.
Never found the holiday swinging scene to be anything but friendly, funny, sexy and fun.
Can I also say that we have, overwhelmingly, met some lovely, lovely people but sadly, a few who are most definitely not lovely, inside or out. |
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Exactly why I just block and delete anyone who messages and doesn’t follow my simple rules, as they clearly haven’t read the profile, or if they have, can’t be bothered to follow instructions. A very easy way of filtering out the idiots without taking up any real time wasted reading messages |
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"To all straight guys, seriously why is so hard for you to take a little time to read a profile before messaging and wasting everyone’s time? "
Well looking at your pictures people probably look and in awe and can't function properly |
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"Some guys don’t have the ability to have blood flowing to both heads at the same time 🤣
Especially if they have big heads 🤷♀️"
Even more reason, there’s only so much blood a guy can have and if the big head needs it then the big head gets it |
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By *istr3ssWoman
over a year ago
Stockton-on-Tees |
"
Ignorant and arrogant name calling aside, if someone chooses to simply disregard a profile I wrote specifically to save repeating myself to everyone who wanders into my inbox, that tells me enough about how actually interested they are in me 💜"
Spot on |
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It's not even singles guys we find, even couples that message and then say they've read the profile but say they are looking for play which we clearly state we don't do  Don't understand why people waste time |
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"It is infuriating because it's a waste of everyone's time.
I find it doesn't matter because single guys fall into two camps. They'll ignore it and expect you to spoonfeed them what's on your profile.
Or they'll read it and decide you don't know what you want and start attempting to change your mind.
Think that's a tad disingenuous to single guys.
Do they not bother reading profiles in full and then say they have and try to strike up a conversation.
Of course they do and that's fine, it's what would happen in a normal, face to face interaction or social meet.
Over the years and meeting loads of guys, couples and single ladies we have always found the single guys to be the most engaging, well behaved and thoughtful.
Many are socially and sadly sexually inept but their situation in life will only produce this result.
Couples are usually OK but unlike single guys sometimes booze can raise its ugly head and in a party or club can be embarrassing and most of the time it's the lady.
Been there, done that and for me in the early days it was down to nerves. Arrive at a house party or club, be wracked with nerves, down goes too many glasses of wine in a very short time.
Well that's my excuse !!!
Single ladies at parties and socials are wonderful but some who prop up the bar area in clubs are a nightmare.
Not so much to us but the way they speak and treat some single guys is a disgrace.
Maybe it's the Belle of the Ball syndrome as from the look of some they wouldn't get a second glance in a vanilla setting.
Heard one lady spout something to a single guy about having come from a shit relationship and she in someway wants her new guys to take up the slack.
I just smiled at the guy and spoke to him like he was a decent person.
He did point out to me that some people don't realise how nervous single guys get when in the swinging environment.
If in doubt, be nice, be kind, be engaging.
Never found the holiday swinging scene to be anything but friendly, funny, sexy and fun.
Can I also say that we have, overwhelmingly, met some lovely, lovely people but sadly, a few who are most definitely not lovely, inside or out. "
This is the best, most informative and genuine comment in the thread. |
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By *Silver-Man
over a year ago
North Wales |
"It's the pictures they must get lost in. We clearly state we only meet guys in a club setting, but not many take much notice so we just ignore. "
But I have met people that say club only meets in their bio's outside of clubs. |
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"To all straight guys, seriously why is so hard for you to take a little time to read a profile before messaging and wasting everyone’s time? "
If it’s a wall of text, I usually go to the next user. I may do an exception if the pics are great and my interest is big.
Talk about wasting other people’s time: do you expect me to read that bible that some people call “profile”? Surely you can all make it skinnier. |
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Perhaps some people cannot read or digest information. Maybe to highlight the fact you cannot travel or accommodate you get a icon of a car and a house with a big red "X" covering it on your profile.
Same with anything else your not into, so for example, if your not into receiving anal, a icon of a "bum" with a red cross over it or if you don't want to meet males, and icon of a man with a red cross.
I think you get my jist |
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By *Silver-Man
over a year ago
North Wales |
"Perhaps some people cannot read or digest information. Maybe to highlight the fact you cannot travel or accommodate you get a icon of a car and a house with a big red "X" covering it on your profile.
Same with anything else your not into, so for example, if your not into receiving anal, a icon of a "bum" with a red cross over it or if you don't want to meet males, and icon of a man with a red cross.
I think you get my jist "
✅️ |
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"It's the pictures they must get lost in. We clearly state we only meet guys in a club setting, but not many take much notice so we just ignore.
But I have met people that say club only meets in their bio's outside of clubs."
Not us you wouldn't. |
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People in general are too horny to care on here I think. So therefore they bypass the profile and send something knowing they won’t get a response… but hoping they will.
The flip side is there are a lot of people who do take the time to read a profile, write a message tailored to that but then don’t get anything back. So frustration sets in. But that’s the nature of the site. |
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"It is infuriating because it's a waste of everyone's time.
I find it doesn't matter because single guys fall into two camps. They'll ignore it and expect you to spoonfeed them what's on your profile.
Or they'll read it and decide you don't know what you want and start attempting to change your mind.
Think that's a tad disingenuous to single guys.
Do they not bother reading profiles in full and then say they have and try to strike up a conversation.
Of course they do and that's fine, it's what would happen in a normal, face to face interaction or social meet.
Over the years and meeting loads of guys, couples and single ladies we have always found the single guys to be the most engaging, well behaved and thoughtful.
Many are socially and sadly sexually inept but their situation in life will only produce this result.
Couples are usually OK but unlike single guys sometimes booze can raise its ugly head and in a party or club can be embarrassing and most of the time it's the lady.
Been there, done that and for me in the early days it was down to nerves. Arrive at a house party or club, be wracked with nerves, down goes too many glasses of wine in a very short time.
Well that's my excuse !!!
Single ladies at parties and socials are wonderful but some who prop up the bar area in clubs are a nightmare.
Not so much to us but the way they speak and treat some single guys is a disgrace.
Maybe it's the Belle of the Ball syndrome as from the look of some they wouldn't get a second glance in a vanilla setting.
Heard one lady spout something to a single guy about having come from a shit relationship and she in someway wants her new guys to take up the slack.
I just smiled at the guy and spoke to him like he was a decent person.
He did point out to me that some people don't realise how nervous single guys get when in the swinging environment.
If in doubt, be nice, be kind, be engaging.
Never found the holiday swinging scene to be anything but friendly, funny, sexy and fun.
Can I also say that we have, overwhelmingly, met some lovely, lovely people but sadly, a few who are most definitely not lovely, inside or out.
This is the best, most informative and genuine comment in the thread. "
Thank you.
Very kind. |
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