FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Tricky finding couple where I fancy both
Tricky finding couple where I fancy both
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *errywild OP Woman 3 weeks ago
It's a Secret |
I'm beginning to think I'm just too fussy and hard to please. Either I fancy only one of the couple, or if I do both, I'm out of their age bracket or not their type, they live too far or something else.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You can never be too fussy if the attraction isn’t there then that can’t be helped. It allways turns out that the ones you do like are the ones out of range it’s Sod’s Law but don’t give up you will find that elusive person/ people you are looking for eventually |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm beginning to think I'm just too fussy and hard to please. Either I fancy only one of the couple, or if I do both, I'm out of their age bracket or not their type, they live too far or something else.
"
To be fair to you Berry Wild, we swapped face pics with you a year ago and you were openenough to say you didn't feel the vibe on both of us...which was a shame as we both thought you were gorgeous. Still, much better than being ghosted...so we appreciated it. Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have found the same OP, very difficult to find or its a female just taking one for the team, which is even more unattractive
Im no longer looking for couples, I would play if I saw them at a club/party and had attraction.
There are plenty of gorgeous couples out there, just some ruin it for others.
🤷♀️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yeah we have the same problem with couples.
A lot of couples profiles either have no pics of the man or if they do, it’s generally his cock only, like his body or anything else doesn’t matter.
It gets conversations off on the wrong foot if you’re having to ask for something that should be standard on a couples profile, if they are both looking to meet.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *aomilatteCouple 3 weeks ago
Midlanders on Tour |
"I'm beginning to think I'm just too fussy and hard to please. Either I fancy only one of the couple, or if I do both, I'm out of their age bracket or not their type, they live too far or something else.
"
Could you meet singles with your husband? Then you only have to fancy one extra person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *eyeYCouple 3 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"We have the added stumbling block of not sending face pics on here. We are occasionally happy to send via another platform (depending on the vibe) but that doesn't always work out!"
Can we ask your reasons there, no judgement, we come across it regularly and honestly without attraction we don't take it to another platform 😘 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *eyeYCouple 3 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"I have found the same OP, very difficult to find or its a female just taking one for the team, which is even more unattractive
Im no longer looking for couples, I would play if I saw them at a club/party and had attraction.
There are plenty of gorgeous couples out there, just some ruin it for others.
🤷♀️"
25 January 2022.. Still a favourite picture on Fab 😘 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We have the added stumbling block of not sending face pics on here. We are occasionally happy to send via another platform (depending on the vibe) but that doesn't always work out!
Can we ask your reasons there, no judgement, we come across it regularly and honestly without attraction we don't take it to another platform 😘"
Yes of course. We have had issues in the past after sending so just decided to stop. We attend clubs quite regularly so those we have met know how we look 😉 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *eyeYCouple 3 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"We have the added stumbling block of not sending face pics on here. We are occasionally happy to send via another platform (depending on the vibe) but that doesn't always work out!
Can we ask your reasons there, no judgement, we come across it regularly and honestly without attraction we don't take it to another platform 😘
Yes of course. We have had issues in the past after sending so just decided to stop. We attend clubs quite regularly so those we have met know how we look 😉"
Appreciate you taking the question as it was intended 👍
What kind of issues out of interest, your trust being abused or their pictures not truthful or forthcoming?
As OP asked we struggle with 4 way attraction and have occasionally miscommunicated between ourselves, (more my side 🤦) so clubs don't always work that well for us. Y Xx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Two way attraction or more can be really tricky.
I really like couples but it isn't always easy finding them where all are on the same page.
I typically find the women really take my fancy but the guy not so much.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *tms1xCouple 3 weeks ago
Chelmsford |
We have been on the scene a while but still very inexperienced and I think what your saying is the main reason we are probably a bit fussy and not found the right people where everyone at least half fancies the others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *eyeYCouple 3 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"Yeah we have the same problem with couples.
A lot of couples profiles either have no pics of the man or if they do, it’s generally his cock only, like his body or anything else doesn’t matter.
It gets conversations off on the wrong foot if you’re having to ask for something that should be standard on a couples profile, if they are both looking to meet.
"
Agreed, the first thing I ask D if he even mentions a couple have messaged us.
Think it's indicative of the scene in general unfortunately, unless he's a 6' plus Adonis the guys get little attention from ladies or couples here, so understand why many would shy away, just imagine it vice versa ladies #confidencekiller.
I like a little eye candy and a handsome face to sit on 😉😈
Luckily I have one, partly the reason we're so sporadic 🤷😘 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We are in thr same boat. It's very difficult to find someone with some level of attraction. Mrs is a little more picky than me.
Happy to chat or share pics if needed.
We are actively looking to expand our horizons...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Think this can be a same for a lot of people on the site. We've had the same issue where one of us isn't feeling it and I'm sure we've had rejections for the same reason.
Getting a 4 way attraction when trying to meet another couple is especially hard. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm beginning to think I'm just too fussy and hard to please. Either I fancy only one of the couple, or if I do both, I'm out of their age bracket or not their type, they live too far or something else.
"
Yep exactly the same here too 😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's even more difficult as a couple. Made yet more difficult when also seeking couples. However it is what it is and when you find that awesome mutual chemistry and attraction its well worth the wait  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's even more difficult as a couple. Made yet more difficult when also seeking couples. However it is what it is and when you find that awesome mutual chemistry and attraction its well worth the wait "
Totally agree , I’m in a couple too as well as my hotwife account and it’s extremely hard to find good matches |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *eyeYCouple 3 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"It's even more difficult as a couple. Made yet more difficult when also seeking couples. However it is what it is and when you find that awesome mutual chemistry and attraction its well worth the wait
Totally agree , I’m in a couple too as well as my hotwife account and it’s extremely hard to find good matches "
You pair have problems?! There's no chance here then.. 😉😉
Your both hot and go to the best nights going (SH) so maybe we'll get to meet up sometime 😘 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm beginning to think I'm just too fussy and hard to please. Either I fancy only one of the couple, or if I do both, I'm out of their age bracket or not their type, they live too far or something else.
"
Hi OP, you're not fussy, what's the point of being on Fab, running the risk of being exposed / judged as a swinger, if you have to settle for less than you want.
Anyway, not only is this a conundrum of Fab but also of life. And even when everything aligns for you, they have to fancy you too.
It does mean that when you do find what you're looking for and you're what they are looking for, a lot of great fun will be had - it doesn't happen that often for me, which makes those times that it does, even more memorable. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah we have the same problem with couples.
A lot of couples profiles either have no pics of the man or if they do, it’s generally his cock only, like his body or anything else doesn’t matter.
It gets conversations off on the wrong foot if you’re having to ask for something that should be standard on a couples profile, if they are both looking to meet.
Agreed, the first thing I ask D if he even mentions a couple have messaged us.
Think it's indicative of the scene in general unfortunately, unless he's a 6' plus Adonis the guys get little attention from ladies or couples here, so understand why many would shy away, just imagine it vice versa ladies #confidencekiller.
I like a little eye candy and a handsome face to sit on 😉😈
Luckily I have one, partly the reason we're so sporadic 🤷😘"
Agreed, women get much more attention on here. It’s why we have more pics of C now - it used to much more equal but as you say, it becomes a bit disheartening when guys get so little attention.
But there should be some pics of Mr, at least to determine an attraction or whether you are at least intrigued. We used to reach out and ask for a pic but now we just move on as it becomes a bit of a back and forth to get a pic and then when you get one, it’s awkward saying there’s no attraction, after so much effort.
K
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *bi HaiveMan 3 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We are in thr same boat. It's very difficult to find someone with some level of attraction. Mrs is a little more picky than me.
Happy to chat or share pics if needed.
We are actively looking to expand our horizons...
"
My top tip would be to get a couples profile. Meeting as a couple is generally a lot easier that way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We have the added stumbling block of not sending face pics on here. We are occasionally happy to send via another platform (depending on the vibe) but that doesn't always work out!
Can we ask your reasons there, no judgement, we come across it regularly and honestly without attraction we don't take it to another platform 😘
Yes of course. We have had issues in the past after sending so just decided to stop. We attend clubs quite regularly so those we have met know how we look 😉
Appreciate you taking the question as it was intended 👍
What kind of issues out of interest, your trust being abused or their pictures not truthful or forthcoming?
As OP asked we struggle with 4 way attraction and have occasionally miscommunicated between ourselves, (more my side 🤦) so clubs don't always work that well for us. Y Xx
"
Trust being abused. We don't make definite meet plans before a club visit as who knows how everyone will feel on the night and then it can become quite awkward 🫣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm beginning to think I'm just too fussy and hard to please. Either I fancy only one of the couple, or if I do both, I'm out of their age bracket or not their type, they live too far or something else.
"
I understand all of this. When looking for a couple (on my couples account) there always seems to be one of those things that means it’s a no. It’s slightly frustrating at times.
Either that or everything looks great but then they aren’t into me or my partner lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Finding any kind of mutual attraction is difficult, it’s even harder when you add in other people and the vagaries of lack of pictures and other online issues.
We haven’t managed to find people to get naked with yet. It’s frustrating at times |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yeah this can be a tricky one and you're not alone for sure! It can be hard enough being attracted to one person but as soon as you start adding numbers then it gets increasingly difficult.
No problem with sticking to what you like and being firm with that x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Ffs.
It's always the good looking couples that moan on about finding it hard to get that '4 way" attraction.
What about us plain couples?
If we waited for you good looking ones to decide,we would be drawing our pensions.
It's only sex,ffs. Not love,or a lifelong attraction.
You put it in, you pull it out, finished.
I know a lot of you will be up in arms after this,but as we're unlikely to meet you in the flesh.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For most people, sex is an intimate act and not something many enter into lightly or with just anyone who's willing.
That said, I do wonder if the people who complain about how difficult it is to find others to have sex with on here, are holding onto unrealistic expectations |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ffs.
It's always the good looking couples that moan on about finding it hard to get that '4 way" attraction.
What about us plain couples?
If we waited for you good looking ones to decide,we would be drawing our pensions.
It's only sex,ffs. Not love,or a lifelong attraction.
You put it in, you pull it out, finished.
I know a lot of you will be up in arms after this,but as we're unlikely to meet you in the flesh...."
Pretty sure there would be people who you wouldn't find sexual my attractive and would break that "it's just sex ffs" statement.
Unless you literally will enter into it with quite literally anybody, regardless of age, size, looks etc and if that's the case, you should at least be self aware enough to know you're in a tiny minority there.
Not giving you grief, just saying |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm beginning to think I'm just too fussy and hard to please. Either I fancy only one of the couple, or if I do both, I'm out of their age bracket or not their type, they live too far or something else.
"
I'm sure you'd like both of us. We're very nice people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ffs.
It's always the good looking couples that moan on about finding it hard to get that '4 way" attraction.
What about us plain couples?
If we waited for you good looking ones to decide,we would be drawing our pensions.
It's only sex,ffs. Not love,or a lifelong attraction.
You put it in, you pull it out, finished.
I know a lot of you will be up in arms after this,but as we're unlikely to meet you in the flesh....
Pretty sure there would be people who you wouldn't find sexual my attractive and would break that "it's just sex ffs" statement.
Unless you literally will enter into it with quite literally anybody, regardless of age, size, looks etc and if that's the case, you should at least be self aware enough to know you're in a tiny minority there.
Not giving you grief, just saying "
So your not agist, sexist or sizeist?
As long as they're beautiful with rippling muscles and a body a model would die for!
Of course that statement would come from one of the 'beautiful' ones.
I'm not saying you have to jump into bed with Quasimodo or someone with supplicating boils all over their body,but when you've got the body and the goods,don't moan on about finding it hard to get 4 way compatability.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ffs.
It's always the good looking couples that moan on about finding it hard to get that '4 way" attraction.
What about us plain couples?
If we waited for you good looking ones to decide,we would be drawing our pensions.
It's only sex,ffs. Not love,or a lifelong attraction.
You put it in, you pull it out, finished.
I know a lot of you will be up in arms after this,but as we're unlikely to meet you in the flesh....
Pretty sure there would be people who you wouldn't find sexual my attractive and would break that "it's just sex ffs" statement.
Unless you literally will enter into it with quite literally anybody, regardless of age, size, looks etc and if that's the case, you should at least be self aware enough to know you're in a tiny minority there.
Not giving you grief, just saying "
I tend to agree.
I think that often people dislike boundaries when it excludes them but encourage those boundaries when it includes them or keeps them safe.
Having a baseline of attraction is a prerequisite for most of the people around here (ourselves included) and shouldn’t be disregarded or dismissed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We have spent many nights in clubs, looking for and waiting for, the ideal, perfect couple to show up (very rare) and sat and watched loads of other couples going off to play in foursomes and groups every two minutes on the spur of the moment... and sometimes wish we were more like that, when eventually going home without playing with anyone at all...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Such a weird argument.
Totally normal to need to find sexual partners in some way attractive, and to also point out that as the number of people involved in a meet increases, it becomes harder to ensure that the attraction is there for all.
I don't think that is in anyway controversial 🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We have spent many nights in clubs, looking for and waiting for, the ideal, perfect couple to show up (very rare) and sat and watched loads of other couples going off to play in foursomes and groups every two minutes on the spur of the moment... and sometimes wish we were more like that, when eventually going home without playing with anyone at all... "
This seems to be us too. I think a lot is the fact we aren’t regular club goers due to having to drive an hour. Also my partner is older (14 years) than me and has a beard, plus we are both a little shy in clubs, we always just seem to play with one another then go home. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t often fancy as such both parties in coupkes but as long as people are cool fun and reasonably attractive to me I’ll enjoy having a bash at sex all round Humour and banter always trump physical for me anyway |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We have spent many nights in clubs, looking for and waiting for, the ideal, perfect couple to show up (very rare) and sat and watched loads of other couples going off to play in foursomes and groups every two minutes on the spur of the moment... and sometimes wish we were more like that, when eventually going home without playing with anyone at all... "
I think there is a middle ground.
When we started we were probably a little too picky, looking for the perfect hookup. We left a few club nights without playing (tho that's totally fine in itself).
There was a realisation that we aren't trying to find a life partner here, and good sex could be had with people who fit 'some' but not all our preferences and we accepted that we should put ourselves out there more - still needs to be some attraction though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *eyeYCouple 3 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"Yeah we have the same problem with couples.
A lot of couples profiles either have no pics of the man or if they do, it’s generally his cock only, like his body or anything else doesn’t matter.
It gets conversations off on the wrong foot if you’re having to ask for something that should be standard on a couples profile, if they are both looking to meet.
Agreed, the first thing I ask D if he even mentions a couple have messaged us.
Think it's indicative of the scene in general unfortunately, unless he's a 6' plus Adonis the guys get little attention from ladies or couples here, so understand why many would shy away, just imagine it vice versa ladies #confidencekiller.
I like a little eye candy and a handsome face to sit on 😉😈
Luckily I have one, partly the reason we're so sporadic 🤷😘
Agreed, women get much more attention on here. It’s why we have more pics of C now - it used to much more equal but as you say, it becomes a bit disheartening when guys get so little attention.
But there should be some pics of Mr, at least to determine an attraction or whether you are at least intrigued. We used to reach out and ask for a pic but now we just move on as it becomes a bit of a back and forth to get a pic and then when you get one, it’s awkward saying there’s no attraction, after so much effort.
K
"
Nail and head!! Yes deliberate choices as we all hope for but many time's it's more a case of stone and blood 😉😜😘 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *eyeYCouple 3 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"We have the added stumbling block of not sending face pics on here. We are occasionally happy to send via another platform (depending on the vibe) but that doesn't always work out!
Can we ask your reasons there, no judgement, we come across it regularly and honestly without attraction we don't take it to another platform 😘
Yes of course. We have had issues in the past after sending so just decided to stop. We attend clubs quite regularly so those we have met know how we look 😉
Appreciate you taking the question as it was intended 👍
What kind of issues out of interest, your trust being abused or their pictures not truthful or forthcoming?
As OP asked we struggle with 4 way attraction and have occasionally miscommunicated between ourselves, (more my side 🤦) so clubs don't always work that well for us. Y Xx
Trust being abused. We don't make definite meet plans before a club visit as who knows how everyone will feel on the night and then it can become quite awkward 🫣"
Oh yeah! Been there before and Christ it's awkward when it's been assumed and on meeting the conversation is more drying than an hour in the Sahara! 😉😂🤷 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think this a challenge faced by many on here. We recently got chatting to a local couple and mentioned we like to social first to ensure compatibility in terms of attraction and social interaction. Their message back was that they didn’t want to social as to them it was just about the sex. Fair enough but for us there needs to be mental and physical attraction. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *egnMaxCouple 3 weeks ago
Nottingham |
A threesome should never be 2️⃣ + 1️⃣.
It should be a scenario where everybody likes everyone who is involved.
Where everyone’s desires are considered equally.
And respect and kindness shared all ways, always.
I know with the amount of complicated variables involved that it can be difficult, but stick to your standards and guns OP, you’ll get there and find the couple just right for you.
Good luck.
😘 Max |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *errywild OP Woman 3 weeks ago
It's a Secret |
I don't need perfection, as in body size or build. What is perfection anyway, does it exist?
Our tastes vary and are so subjective.
For me facial attraction is the most important physical aspect, without it it won't work. I am perhaps picky, but at the same time not desperate to have sex with just anyone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It is difficult to find people that everyone is attracted so your not being too fussy, because sex does need attraction.
We find it difficult to find couples and single females.
We haven't looked for single males as couple so don't know how difficult that is. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Of course it’s going to be tricky. We find we are attracted to approximately 5-10% of people after playing this game in vanilla settings & actually quantifying things.
You are halving that possibly at least by being equally attracted to both halves so of a couple, and that assumes on the bi side you are still attracted to a similar percentage of people.
Meeting singles is obviously going to be easier. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We are very much of the opinion that nobody in either couple should be ‘taking one for the team’. It just sets the whole scenario off on the wrong foot in what is a complex mix of feelings already.
It’s certainly opened our eyes to what each of us look for and find attractive and not attractive. The amount of times I would definitely have said that Jay would be very interested in a person and she’s not….for a reason I’ve never even considered usually. And the same in reverse where I’ve almost ruled someone out in my own head only to be surprised.
A mine field for us all! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't need perfection, as in body size or build. What is perfection anyway, does it exist?
Our tastes vary and are so subjective.
For me facial attraction is the most important physical aspect, without it it won't work. I am perhaps picky, but at the same time not desperate to have sex with just anyone."
This is me (mr) for sure
It’s been hard to find d that four way attraction so we’ve decided to take a step back from meets and just be happy to get out the house and hit a club |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic