FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do you ever wish you'd started earlier?
Do you ever wish you'd started earlier?
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As the big 5-0 appears on the horizon, I've been doing some reflecting on my life so far and one of the things is that I wish I'd started the lifestyle earlier.
I started at 40 after my marriage broke down but, in hindsight, I was seduced by a couple when I was on holiday when I was 23. Went back to their apartment after a few drinks, nipped to the loo and when I came out she was blowing him and he invited me in - who was I to refuse. Haha.
Best sex of my life at that point but didn't consider that kind of lifestyle may be available so didn't seek it out. Maybe it was the lack of internet to make it easy for me!
What about you lovely lot? Could/should you have gone earlier? |
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My ex wife brought it up a couple of times. She'd been to a club a couple of times with a guy when she was 19 and suggested a 3 some with a female freind of hers when we were dating. Plus we met that guy from her past one night for a drink and on reflection it was obvious she was angling for a 3some. I was in the Forces and away a lot. I liked the idea but just never seemed the time to get round to it and something about it didn't feel right about it with her. So I never pushed the point from my side and we never did. I think in hindsight I subconsciously knew we didn't have the relationship for it.
Anyway I divorced her. Without going into details my reasons vindicated my gut feeling about swinging with her not being a good idea. So I still liked the idea of swinging and was questioning monogamy. So I started on the scene as a single male. Did fairly well and also found the club scene. I felt I was living a life that felt like home. So naturally I was a bit gutted I missed all those years.
But then I met Mrs Misfit on Fab. Of which I also found the relationship I didn't understand was possible. She is my best everything. We can be comfortable in our own skins for the first time. We can be completely honest and open with each other, no conversation too hard. We have a love, strength, security and communication I never had before. And it's this that allows us to thrive in the lifestyle and be truly ourselves.
So on reflection No, I don't regret not starting sooner. I'm so happy that I didn't do this with my ex wife. That I started this journy as a couple afresh and new with Mrs Misfit. That I got to share this world with her untainted from that which had gone before. In simple terms she was every bit worth the wait because I get to experience the best version of this lifestyle.
Mr
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Definitely. I'm 57 and just starting to explore the scene. I'm already over the maximum tolerated age of most women and couples here it seems, and of course I don't have either the body, energy or daft confidence I used to have. So yes, I wish I'd started 25 years ago. 🙄 |
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Definitely.
I was curious about cock from my early 20’s, wish I had tried it earlier, I think I’d have felt much happier and more comfortable with myself, and it would have opened up a whole world of sexual exploration which I missed out on.
Too late for regrets now though. |
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We came onto the scene about a decade ago but had some experiences which put us off at the time. Eventually we found our way back onto fab but since rejoining life has forced us to take some quite long breaks. We sometimes think if we had maybe stuck with it back then we would have found out what worked for us and what didn't sooner, and perhaps stayed on the scene rather than leave. |
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100%
I think we are relatively new compared to most, as we've only been on the scene for around 15 months ish. Wish I would have bitten the bullet 18 years ago when the conversation was first raised. |
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Joined the site when I was 31 and haven't looked back . Like you in hindsight wish I knew more about the lifestyle when I was younger .
I've always been quite liberated when it comes to views about sex and the practices that go on but social convention dictated otherwise or so I thought.
Definitely the lack of knowledge on my part saw too this. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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Id never have dreamed of doing it when married, but after divorce aged 37 and single at the time started to explore and then started meeting, really wished id tried when married and involving the wife. |
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For me OP which is similar to yourself it’s not so much that I feel I didn’t start earlier it’s more the fact that I didn’t continuously pursue it and had a massive gap between my first experiences and more recently (well the last ten years ish) actively looking to pursue the scene/dynamic or whatever we want to call it.
I’m just glad I did as I would hate to have that feeling of regret looking back wishing I had tried. The reality of it for me was, I just couldn’t stop thinking about things from years before and it took me a while to realise that the reason I couldn’t put it to the back of my mind wasn’t because it was wrong but because I liked it. If that makes sense. Once I realised that I’ve never looked back. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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I’ve always loved piss sex. But only started owning it with certain partners in my twenties but it was only Covid that made me realise I could live like this. |
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Yes we both do. We have been together 11 years and only been playing 18 months. In that time we have gone from vanilla to nude swinging holidays to MFMF to MFM to MMF to MF with another guy. Open house has a lot to answer to. |
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By *SCouple81Couple 50 weeks ago
Between Edinburgh and Scottish Borders |
No, we have started when we were ready and both wanted to do it. Slowly at the beginning and pushing boundaries together. We are talking a lot and communication is extremely important. If we started earlier it could have been for wrong reasons. |
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Our dynamic requires a level of trust.
I’m not sure it would have worked for us earlier in our marriage.
Plus having young children would have made organising anything very difficult.
Glad we found it when we did. |
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