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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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Anyone had experiences where they felt disrespected after? Leaving a bad taste in the mouth? (Not literally, of course, well, maybe!)
I had someone I would meet as and when, but would always do things I asked them not to do. They would slap my arse, despite me asking and then telling them not to. If they hurt me they would tell me not 'to be so silly'. Obviously my feelings did not matter.
Thought I was being overly sensitive, but when someone sticks their fingers in your bum after telling them not to (which I suffered with for some time after) then clearly my thoughts really are unimportant. I no longer meet with this individual, thankfully.
Just wanted to know if anyone had experienced anything similar?
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This hasn't happened to us but I will say the same you as I said to a woman recently. If they ignore what you're asking stop the meet and leave. Anybody telling you not to be silly after you've told them to stop is nasty at best and dangerous at worst. |
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You're not being over sensitive op, if you ask someone not to do something and they do it, that's them that's in the wrong.
They've totally gone against your comfort zone, on purpose.
I haven't had it happen to me thankfully in real life. I do chat for a good while first, so I have encountered people trying to overstep the mark on here with me.
Then I just stop talking or block them. |
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OP, if you're uncomfortable with anything happening during the meet, stop. Yes, they might be playing the "Dom", but as you discussed your boundaries beforehand, they shouldn't be pushing them. Stop the play, remind them of agreed boundaries and give them a warning that if they continue to ignore your boundaries, the meet would stop. If you're comfortable, then continue playing but make sure to stop if they overstep the boundaries again. Treat the first time as amber warning light, but 2nd as red light, complete stop.
Meets should be enjoyable for all the parties involved. |
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Had one guy tell me he only had 5 minutes and could we ‘get on with it’.
The look on his face when I showed him the door and said I’ll wait for the next guy instead.
It takes a few hours to get ready and you do expect some recognition that you’ve made an effort to look nice, rather than I’m just a mouth to orally pleasure him.
There wasn’t another guy I just went out instead.  |
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By *ayTVTV/TS 38 weeks ago
North Yorkshire |
"Had one guy tell me he only had 5 minutes and could we ‘get on with it’.
The look on his face when I showed him the door and said I’ll wait for the next guy instead.
It takes a few hours to get ready and you do expect some recognition that you’ve made an effort to look nice, rather than I’m just a mouth to orally pleasure him.
There wasn’t another guy I just went out instead. "
Done exactly in the same Steph...I'm worth more than a 2 minute shag! |
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No nothing like that has happened to me. Some people can be awkward I guess after.
some meets it has taken me longer to get ready which is horribly disappointing. I just never met them again I certainly wouldn't keep meeting someone if they tried to over rule my boundaries. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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"Sounds like you should stop meeting them mate. Boundaries are boundaries. As mentioned above one warning then kick them out. "
I have certainly stopped meeting or even made contact with them, just wish I had stopped seeing them the first time it happened. |
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I've told this story often enough so some will be bored with it but on my very first fab meet 9 years ago I met a woman socially on 2 occasions and we agreed to meet again in an hotel.
As soon as I got undressed she punched me full on in the face without any warning.
It was a wtaf moment and when I asked what she was doing she said it was her kink to have me retaliate.
I was getting dressed again to leave and told her she had picked the wrong guy and how disrespectful it was to make assumptions without any prior discussion.
She apologised profusely and begged me to stay so I did.
An hour later as I walked out of the bathroom she drove her knee into my balls.
I told her she was crazy, got dressed and left her in the room I had paid for.
I left fab a couple of days later thinking everyone was as much of a loon as she had been.
It's why I don't meet very often and am very fussy and selective who I get naked with.
If the roles had been reversed I know for a fact I would have been up on charges. |
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We've been swinging a few years. It happens quite a bit. Last time was in August in a club. Mr always advices the guys, "No, fingers inside".
I get thrush, if they are a smoker, caused by the bactria imbalance from their hands. I've had long finger nails catch and made me bleed from inside, it also makes me sore.
Any way, A guy in the cinema got hard, I (mrs) walked over to ask if I can join him? I started to bj him. I then asked if I could sit on him? He said yes, so as I got up, he reached forward. I moved his hand away, and said "no fingers inside". Ok he confirmed. I lined up ready to sit, and boom, fingers slid inside my pussy. I stood up, and said, no sorry, that's stopped play!
He then begged, claiming his inocence, did'nt realise his fingers had gone in me. He won't do it again. Come, back! Damage had been done. The one thing, he was told not to do, he did. So he sat there nursing a full on hard on. I went off, and played with others.
Stick to the rules, it's not hard. Some are quite simple. |
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I had a social meet and the guy shoved his tongue down my throat and groped my genital area. Happened very fast and very much without consent considering I'd only gone to meet him for a social. Needless to say I never met him again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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"It sounds like you repeatedly met this person. Surely after 1 less than satisfactory incident, it's normal to not repeat it. Isn't it? Or am I missing the point?"
I did and a fool for doing so. My naivity and forgiveness (and the solitude I have in life) and foolhardiness kept me going back. The last time was the last straw and it was time to just fond my bog boy pants (lonliness or not) and just never contact them ever again. And I have kept to my word. Still left me disappointed and trust-broken. |
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"Sounds like you should stop meeting them mate. Boundaries are boundaries. As mentioned above one warning then kick them out.
I have certainly stopped meeting or even made contact with them, just wish I had stopped seeing them the first time it happened."
Good on you mate |
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had a few where in a club she asked if wanted fun went to room had no condom said he would go buy some, from there we aint interested as why dressed down walking around playrooms if no condom.
another we took 3 men to a room 1 finished went out room, 5 minutes later a knock went to door to be told the lad who went told them to come to this room for a fuck , so told no thanks ,next time he was in club asked to play told no and why. |
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"had a few where in a club she asked if wanted fun went to room had no condom said he would go buy some, from there we aint interested as why dressed down walking around playrooms if no condom.
another we took 3 men to a room 1 finished went out room, 5 minutes later a knock went to door to be told the lad who went told them to come to this room for a fuck , so told no thanks ,next time he was in club asked to play told no and why."
While I agree everyone should be prepared as sexual health is a personal responsibility. This would not have been too much of an issue for us as in clubs we insist on using the condoms that we bring. We’ve never had any guy refuse ☺️ |
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