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People refusing social meets
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By *G Lana OP TV/TS 37 weeks ago
Gosport |
So this morning I was chatting with someone and I was sort of interested but not entirely comfortable with some of their answers. My suggestion a social meet in a neutral venue of their choice to which I get the response they don't really do "dates". Strangely at this point my interest just dissolved entirely if there is something that rings alarm bells for me it is not being prepared to have a quick social meet first. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"So this morning I was chatting with someone and I was sort of interested but not entirely comfortable with some of their answers. My suggestion a social meet in a neutral venue of their choice to which I get the response they don't really do "dates". Strangely at this point my interest just dissolved entirely if there is something that rings alarm bells for me it is not being prepared to have a quick social meet first. "
I totally understand things from your perspective but some people men/women/couples just prefer to meet up, fuck/play and leave. For me, i can meet socially and see how it goes but also no adverse to a good no speak play.
Go with your gut feeling, if something isn't right,move along to the next person/people.
Love and peace to all  |
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"So this morning I was chatting with someone and I was sort of interested but not entirely comfortable with some of their answers. My suggestion a social meet in a neutral venue of their choice to which I get the response they don't really do "dates". Strangely at this point my interest just dissolved entirely if there is something that rings alarm bells for me it is not being prepared to have a quick social meet first. "
Some people just want to fuck and run. Especially when it comes to tv/ts I find many don’t want a social
Each to their own. Personally if someone made me feel not entirely comfortable chatting I’d not even waste my time carrying on.
I do often think though for people don’t want a quick social or quick vud chat to confirm we are all whom we say and just get a quick few minutes vibe from that. Then I think how will they even meet.
Like these women supposedly up for meeting blind no chat etc  |
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By *G Lana OP TV/TS 37 weeks ago
Gosport |
"So this morning I was chatting with someone and I was sort of interested but not entirely comfortable with some of their answers. My suggestion a social meet in a neutral venue of their choice to which I get the response they don't really do "dates". Strangely at this point my interest just dissolved entirely if there is something that rings alarm bells for me it is not being prepared to have a quick social meet first.
Some people just want to fuck and run. Especially when it comes to tv/ts I find many don’t want a social
Each to their own. Personally if someone made me feel not entirely comfortable chatting I’d not even waste my time carrying on.
I do often think though for people don’t want a quick social or quick vud chat to confirm we are all whom we say and just get a quick few minutes vibe from that. Then I think how will they even meet.
Like these women supposedly up for meeting blind no chat etc "
I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. They had stated that it would have been their first time with anyone other than a cis woman, so I understand them being a little awkward.
Having stated that though there was no way I would just go to their place blind. I need them to have seen me, I the flesh, hear me speak, frankly get past the initial things that can suddenly trigger men to attack trans women. |
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I do enjoy social meets.. it gives me a chance to get to know someone a bit better.. plus, it gives people a chance to see my eccentricities earlier on so if they need a head start to run away, they can 🤣🤣 |
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By *CExeCouple 37 weeks ago
Hong-Kong/Exeter |
Chels is crazy shy, so we don't do social meets. Once the fun is over, she's absolutely fine chatting, but she'd be like a church mouse at a social. Most couples and singles like us put a disclaimer on their profile saying no to socials which means you can swerve if you're inclined to a meetup before play. |
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By *unx2019Couple 37 weeks ago
Lossiemouth |
We don't normally have the time for social meets so pretty much our meets are just fun. We do like to have chat and coffee first at ours, at least to see if the attraction is there and chance for anyone to say no  |
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"So this morning I was chatting with someone and I was sort of interested but not entirely comfortable with some of their answers. My suggestion a social meet in a neutral venue of their choice to which I get the response they don't really do "dates". Strangely at this point my interest just dissolved entirely if there is something that rings alarm bells for me it is not being prepared to have a quick social meet first.
Some people just want to fuck and run. Especially when it comes to tv/ts I find many don’t want a social
Each to their own. Personally if someone made me feel not entirely comfortable chatting I’d not even waste my time carrying on.
I do often think though for people don’t want a quick social or quick vud chat to confirm we are all whom we say and just get a quick few minutes vibe from that. Then I think how will they even meet.
Like these women supposedly up for meeting blind no chat etc
I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. They had stated that it would have been their first time with anyone other than a cis woman, so I understand them being a little awkward.
Having stated that though there was no way I would just go to their place blind. I need them to have seen me, I the flesh, hear me speak, frankly get past the initial things that can suddenly trigger men to attack trans women."
I tend not to waste my time meeting guts for first time experiences it’s inevitably a waste of my time I found. Though I am a very brutally direct / blunt human being with things Joys of a logical brain rather than emotive one .
I’d always tell first timers / experimentation types to meet at a club so as not to waste time / safe space etc |
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"My suggestion a social meet in a neutral venue of their choice to which I get the response they don't really do "dates"."
Seems entirely reasonable to me, but then I'm NOT looking for that one off "wham bam", that lots in these parts are. As I actively want a connection (and something regular) I'm certainly very up for a meal or something social (i.e. outside of the bedroom), as it ultimately enhances the scenario and puts all at ease.
That said, I'm actually happy to go with the flow either way (I'd not refuse to meet if someone said 'No' to a social meet due say to time constraints etc), but I'd certainly be very wary if things seemed in anyway awkward before we'd even met (as you say is the case here).
" if there is something that rings alarm bells for me it is not being prepared to have a quick social meet first. "
You need to be happy and comfortable with meeting, whatever your criteria. If you want a social first and the other party doesn't, it's not for you.
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A social meet is important for me, I need to check that chemistry in person.
I make this very clear on my profile but so many don't seem to actually want to make a plan for one. I'm not asking for a date lol it's just a quick drink to make sure. A flat still image and a few messages isn't enough.
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I've read this top to bottom and I'm really bemused by those who are averse to social meets (of course your preferences and prerogative).
Am I to understand that 'you' exchange messages to establish a connection/chemistry, put a date in the diary and then turn up for the fun and leave? Assuming that any chemistry and connection is solely established via messaging and a few perfunctory photographs?
It's always a social for. It's part of my overall due diligence. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"So this morning I was chatting with someone and I was sort of interested but not entirely comfortable with some of their answers. My suggestion a social meet in a neutral venue of their choice to which I get the response they don't really do "dates". Strangely at this point my interest just dissolved entirely if there is something that rings alarm bells for me it is not being prepared to have a quick social meet first.
Some people just want to fuck and run. Especially when it comes to tv/ts I find many don’t want a social
Each to their own. Personally if someone made me feel not entirely comfortable chatting I’d not even waste my time carrying on.
I do often think though for people don’t want a quick social or quick vud chat to confirm we are all whom we say and just get a quick few minutes vibe from that. Then I think how will they even meet.
Like these women supposedly up for meeting blind no chat etc
I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. They had stated that it would have been their first time with anyone other than a cis woman, so I understand them being a little awkward.
Having stated that though there was no way I would just go to their place blind. I need them to have seen me, I the flesh, hear me speak, frankly get past the initial things that can suddenly trigger men to attack trans women.
I tend not to waste my time meeting guts for first time experiences it’s inevitably a waste of my time I found. Though I am a very brutally direct / blunt human being with things Joys of a logical brain rather than emotive one .
I’d always tell first timers / experimentation types to meet at a club so as not to waste time / safe space etc "
maybe there embarrassed to go out with a tv In person and just like the thought of fucking one bad really x |
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By *ugby 123Couple 37 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I've read this top to bottom and I'm really bemused by those who are averse to social meets (of course your preferences and prerogative).
Am I to understand that 'you' exchange messages to establish a connection/chemistry, put a date in the diary and then turn up for the fun and leave? Assuming that any chemistry and connection is solely established via messaging and a few perfunctory photographs?
It's always a social for. It's part of my overall due diligence."
Talking on a vid call helps.You can still get a connection before you meet up or the people who do socials first wouldn't be chancing a social at all.
When we used to meet we didn't have socials the day/ week before etc.
We decided after exchanging messages and a vid call whether we wanted to meet to play. We met up in a neutral place, decided if we all still wanted more and played on the same night or walked away if we were not feeling it.
It suited us as we had limited time for meets
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Personally, I resist socials because I don’t enjoy being perceived (autism thing). I take time getting to know a guy before we meet, and then when we do meet there’s no pressure but there’s a bed right there if we want it. A social feels like an hour or two of just sitting there and being judged, and who wants that? 🤣 |
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"I've read this top to bottom and I'm really bemused by those who are averse to social meets (of course your preferences and prerogative).
Am I to understand that 'you' exchange messages to establish a connection/chemistry, put a date in the diary and then turn up for the fun and leave? Assuming that any chemistry and connection is solely established via messaging and a few perfunctory photographs?
It's always a social for. It's part of my overall due diligence.
Talking on a vid call helps.You can still get a connection before you meet up or the people who do socials first wouldn't be chancing a social at all.
When we used to meet we didn't have socials the day/ week before etc.
We decided after exchanging messages and a vid call whether we wanted to meet to play. We met up in a neutral place, decided if we all still wanted more and played on the same night or walked away if we were not feeling it.
It suited us as we had limited time for meets
"
•
That's fair. 🩶 |
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"I know it doesn't help that I am really insecure about how other people perceive me so giving them an easy option to run away feels to most fair thing to do."
I’m really sorry you feel that way about yourself. It’s a burden you don’t need to carry, you are a fabulous, warm, vibrant person. I hope you learn to see yourself with the admiration others hold for you |
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"So this morning I was chatting with someone and I was sort of interested but not entirely comfortable with some of their answers. My suggestion a social meet in a neutral venue of their choice to which I get the response they don't really do "dates". Strangely at this point my interest just dissolved entirely if there is something that rings alarm bells for me it is not being prepared to have a quick social meet first. "
I think you have to heed the alarm bells when they ring. I find if I have doubts then asking for a phone chat or social usually results in them being perennially busy. Saves a lot of time in the long run. |
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We don’t do purely social meets because if we have a free evening we’d rather use it for “fun”😊 If it’s a guy we are meeting for the first time we will have a few drinks in the hotel/local bar to establish chemistry/attraction etc If it’s a guy we’ve met before we have no issue with him coming directly to the room ☺️ |
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When I was single and meeting, I always assumed people who didn't want a social, were playing away & couldn't be seen out with another woman.
Or they just wanted to get straight down to it, neither were for me. So, if they wouldn't do a social, I'd just not meet them. |
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I definitely prefer a social as a means of establishing whether there is a connection even after chatting online. Otherwise it would all feel too transactional. For me there does have to be some attraction which extends beyond the physical. |
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I get that some people don’t want the social meet first
It’s all about the sex sometimes
Don’t get me wrong you should Vet people before meeting and a quick hello
It can work out that way in a club
You end up playing with people without even knowing there names |
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By *andSxxCouple 37 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"We don't normally have the time for social meets so pretty much our meets are just fun. We do like to have chat and coffee first at ours, at least to see if the attraction is there and chance for anyone to say no "
We feel exactly the same way. We don’t enjoy social meetups. We used to do them before, but they were always just a waste of time. We don’t want to meet couples who are only experimenting or whose main idea of fun is drinking alcohol in a pub. |
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"A social with a view to play is what we'd be interested in, not just a social. "
That is what I do, I don't see the point in meeting just for a social I only want the social if I'm initially interested but some people are weird in person haha. |
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"A social meet is important for me, I need to check that chemistry in person.
I make this very clear on my profile but so many don't seem to actually want to make a plan for one. I'm not asking for a date lol it's just a quick drink to make sure. A flat still image and a few messages isn't enough.
"
Exactly this. Aside from the safety aspect, I have no idea if I’m physically attracted to a guy until I’ve met him. Results in most of my conversations going nowhere because there’s usually an easier option for them, or they’d rather have a wank than meet somewhere public. |
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Tbh we’re not that into social meets. More of a come to ours for a drink (tea, coffee or something stronger) then if it’s going well some fun if not then no harm done enjoyed getting to know you , obviously everyone is different |
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Sometimes I can find socials a bit awkward (because I'm a bit awkward), I mean, sitting in a quaint coffee house talking about my love of spanking really puts the old dears off their Eccles cakes.... |
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"A social meet is important for me, I need to check that chemistry in person.
I make this very clear on my profile but so many don't seem to actually want to make a plan for one. I'm not asking for a date lol it's just a quick drink to make sure. A flat still image and a few messages isn't enough.
Exactly this. Aside from the safety aspect, I have no idea if I’m physically attracted to a guy until I’ve met him. Results in most of my conversations going nowhere because there’s usually an easier option for them, or they’d rather have a wank than meet somewhere public. "
Indeed, I think it's easy for men and couples to forget that a single woman is going to be more cautious due to the safety aspects of meeting people off the internet. I mean meeting a total random person by going to their house or accommodating sounds like a bad movie plot haha.
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By *G Lana OP TV/TS 37 weeks ago
Gosport |
"Sometimes I can find socials a bit awkward (because I'm a bit awkward), I mean, sitting in a quaint coffee house talking about my love of spanking really puts the old dears off their Eccles cakes...."
But your not really responsible for their jealousy. |
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