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By (user no longer on site) OP 37 weeks ago
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Hey everyone,
I’m heading to my first club event tonight as a single male and could use some advice on how to approach it the right way.
Last week, I went to a social event and met quite a few people. I made an effort to introduce myself to everyone and even joined a few groups when I found myself standing alone. Everyone was polite and welcoming, which really helped ease the nerves.
I did notice that some couples only play with bi men, which I totally respect even though I’m not bi myself. I didn’t see it as a big deal but it did make me think about how to read situations better.
So my question is – how do you tell which couples or women might be interested and which ones aren’t? I can usually tell when someone’s not into me, but at clubs there seem to be so many different preferences – some only play with couples, others with single guys, or only bi men.
When’s the right moment to back off and give space versus when to stay and chat? I’d really appreciate any tips to make things smoother and keep things respectful.
Thanks in advance.  |
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By *bflirtyCouple 37 weeks ago
Leighton Buzzard |
Be bold and go and talk to the couples / singles you're interested in. That goes a very long way and you'll soon know if they are interested or not. If you stand in the background others will jump in. |
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Generally, if people are chatting with you and aren't standoffish chances are they are interested. If everything is going well just ask what they're play dynamic is, once thats out of the way you can decide whether to carry on chatting and try to join them, or make a polite exit.
I think clubs should have a colour coded wrist band system, at a swinging spa we went to they had coloured bands to wear with each band representing sexuality and or preference of play. For instance, yellow could mean bisexual, red straight and so on. Then you could have blue for single men, pink for ladies or purple for mf couples etc, etc. It would take out a lot of the awkward scouting out and trying to figure out what people want and save wasting time talking to people not looking for you.
Maybe I'll start my own club and use the system lol, would be a massive hit for neurodivergent people as we hate too much small talk x
Mrs x |
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"Generally, if people are chatting with you and aren't standoffish chances are they are interested."
Not sure this is correct? Lots of people will chat friendly at clubs and socials but wouldn't be interested in playing. It's up to people to judge if there may be some flirting or interest. Asking if someone wants to play is the best way to find out. |
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"Generally, if people are chatting with you and aren't standoffish chances are they are interested.
Not sure this is correct? Lots of people will chat friendly at clubs and socials but wouldn't be interested in playing. It's up to people to judge if there may be some flirting or interest. Asking if someone wants to play is the best way to find out. "
Obviously, a person having a conversation with you with you alone doesn't mean they want to have sex. Im saying if they spend time talking to you and seem genuinely engaged its a good start. At clubs people generally dont waste time talking to people they aren't interested in if they are actively seeking play. But obviously the quickest way to find out play dynamics is to ask, but there inevitably will be conversation before that.
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 37 weeks ago
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"Generally, if people are chatting with you and aren't standoffish chances are they are interested. If everything is going well just ask what they're play dynamic is, once thats out of the way you can decide whether to carry on chatting and try to join them, or make a polite exit.
I think clubs should have a colour coded wrist band system, at a swinging spa we went to they had coloured bands to wear with each band representing sexuality and or preference of play. For instance, yellow could mean bisexual, red straight and so on. Then you could have blue for single men, pink for ladies or purple for mf couples etc, etc. It would take out a lot of the awkward scouting out and trying to figure out what people want and save wasting time talking to people not looking for you.
Maybe I'll start my own club and use the system lol, would be a massive hit for neurodivergent people as we hate too much small talk x
Mrs x"
Thank you very much, makes it easier for me to manage my expectations and structure a conversation. I’ll definitely remember that. Appreciate it. |
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Just tell people you're new to clubs and just checking the place out, Ask if this is their first time at this club, if it isn't ask them about the venue/rooms etc
Tell them you're just going to mingle hopefully you will see them again and maybe they could show you around the club, Move on to the next couple, if they're interested they will look for you, Making swinger friends will be better long term then a random encounter
in my opinion |
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