So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs? |
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"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?"
Its normal at swingers clubs you are all there to have sex after all, but if single men arent your thing just go on a night when they arent allowed. Most clubs allow them in on Fridays only. Make sure you check their website before going to an event as sometimes single men will be invited to certain events.
Mrs x |
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We have been to a lot of clubs and never had anyone do that. When guys approach and ask if we are looking for guys we just say no and they are generally respectful.
We do like nights when single guys are allowed though as it satisfies our exhibitionist kink. |
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By *avidNPMan 17 weeks ago
manchester |
"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?"
That’s awful I would not like that at all. It’s such a lack of respect for you both as a couple. |
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By *avidNPMan 17 weeks ago
manchester |
"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?
Its normal at swingers clubs you are all there to have sex after all, but if single men arent your thing just go on a night when they arent allowed. Most clubs allow them in on Fridays only. Make sure you check their website before going to an event as sometimes single men will be invited to certain events.
Mrs x"
I can’t say it’s normal for guys to give women their phone numbers. That’s not acceptable in a club situation when you are there as a couple. |
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"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?"
We're veterans of clubs over 9 years and have never experienced that. Maybe try couples nights, or don't be put off by a handful of Men. |
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We've been to lots of clubs all over the country and abroad and never had this happen...men do have a chat and ask if they can play, but we make it very clear that I don't meet alone. There will be guys who push their luck but in our experience this is the minority for sure. I don't think it's the norm to give phone numbers and ask to meet alone outside of the club.
Maybe give clubs another go but attend a couples only evening where you will find a different vibe xx |
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"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?"
Maybe missing something here, but why would that spoil your experience? Where were you when they were chatting up your partner? If they would not take no for an answer, they should have been reported to the club staff.
If they were respectful with their approach, it sounds like you may have had a visit from the little green jealousy devil…. |
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I'm sorry you had such a negative experience.
I've attended around 30 clubs with my husband and this isn't something I've experienced. I have experienced poor behaviour from individuals, usually men, but most clubs deal with this well. |
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Never been to a swingers event but if single guys are allowed surely there is an expectation they can talk to men and women there and try their luck? …. Common decency and respect plus club rules not withstanding I’m not sure what can be expected….. as experienced people here have said … if they overstepped report them …. You didn’t say if you and partner had fun with other couples as if you did I’d be surprised you wouldn’t go back…..
Write it off as experience and go again on couples night only and see if you fair better … good luck |
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"Never been to a swingers event but if single guys are allowed surely there is an expectation they can talk to men and women there and try their luck? …. Common decency and respect plus club rules not withstanding I’m not sure what can be expected….. as experienced people here have said … if they overstepped report them …. You didn’t say if you and partner had fun with other couples as if you did I’d be surprised you wouldn’t go back…..
Write it off as experience and go again on couples night only and see if you fair better … good luck "
I agree with you mate, men will approach women at swingers clubs, it is expected. All you need to do is tell them you arent interested and they move on. It happens to me all the time, I politely say no thanks and the conversation ends.
More context would be great as the OP is making it sounds like men were approaching his partner, ignoring him, handing her their number, suggesting she neets them solo and then walking off. I have never had that happen and neither has anyone I know in this lifestyle. Its safe to assume a conversation took place first and then numbers were offered, I just wouldn't have gotten into a conversation with them in the first place.
Mrs x
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The vital part of visiting a swingers club when you're starting out is finding the right event.
Something like a newbie or couples and single ladies only event has a much softer feeling whilst you find your feet.
I was the same the first time we went to a club where everyone was welcome, it had a very different feeling and it wasnt for me.
I hope you get to give it another try. |
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By *ounmacCouple 17 weeks ago
Market Harborough |
When chatting just make sure you cover what your looking for
Like we don’t swap numbers only telegram etc
We only play together
We have never had anyone try to play on there own outside the club tho |
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By *arand25Couple 17 weeks ago
Crowborough |
We went to Pleasures on a Friday, never again. Guys followed us around all evening, pretty creepy really. One sat down between us both at one point ffs 
Saturdays only from now on. Don't let it put you off though, go to a club when it's couples only & have some fun! |
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Only been to one, once! It was a couple and female only however it was a fantastic evening and very relaxed.
We have had the thoughts that we wouldn’t go to any other event with males but we just have very strong boundaries set and will be very firm. All club staff say that you should report any pests etc!
If they’re not being horrid or rude then I’d just take it on the chin, say thanks for offering, thanks for the compliments etc but no thanks.
Or if it’s a massive issue just go to a couples and females only night x |
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"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?"
Can honestly say we have never experienced that on any night, nevermind multiple times on one night. What was the context? Had you popped to the toilet/bar ect?
Seems pretty brazen of them if you where stood right there next to her.. |
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Why do some guys ruin it for the rest, it's really not fair and I hate to hear that some women and guys are made to feel uncomfortable by others actions. Yes we might be on here or swingers etc but everyone deserves respect.
Rant over, for now. |
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Just a little bit of advice for when at a club when you have to leave each other.
I tend to leave M in the bar chatting to bar staff if I need to go to the loo, or pop out for a vape. Or leave her chatting with someone we know and will look after her.
To be fair I have more trouble keeping men away in a normal bar/club.
Other week I popped out for a vape, just as I got back a young guy was stood next to her, ordered a drink turned round to her and said “I’m xxxxx, What’s your name?” He then looked over her shoulder and saw me approaching and made a sharp exit back to his mates 🤣 |
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I think you need to have a think if clubs are for you & maybe grow a thicker skin.
I've NEVER come across this in 9 years going to clubs and if you drop into a conversation that your not looking for single men word soon gets around amongst them.
Maybe try a different club.  |
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By *imzjimCouple 17 weeks ago
South Lakes, Cumbria |
There was a very thirsty guy at a club we went to last night. I wasnt drinking so was watching him go around and try and infiltrate every woman regardless of if they were in a couple. Tried it with us and I didnt like it. Just got to forget about it and move on. It was only him the rest of the men no issues at all. Had about 3 or 4 people like this over the times |
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By *abulincsCouple 17 weeks ago
near a bridge |
We have never experienced anything like this at all and if it was to happen I would simply step in and explain the situation that she has no intention of meeting solo at all and to leave us alone |
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We’ve never had this problem before. Bex has been ‘chatted up’ by a single guy, and we’ve been approached by single guys but the second we’ve said no, they’ve always been sound.
Report it. If it repeatedly happens, then it’s a problem with the club not keeping single guys in check. - Azz |
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Genuinely surprised by the op, but wholly sympathetic, we attended clubs , mainly in and around Manchester for many years and never encountered anything like that. Single guys would for sure follow a bit around the rooms hoping for a chance, and frankly I can’t blame them for that. But Jane was never harrassed directly. Guys were almost always polite and respectful . If we’d had that experience early on I doubt if Jane would have continued either . So completely self defeating for the men involved. |
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By * and BCouple 17 weeks ago
Durham |
"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?
We're veterans of clubs over 9 years and have never experienced that. Maybe try couples nights, or don't be put off by a handful of Men."
Same as us, 10 years and never experienced that |
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Thanks for the advice all, she can definitely hold her own and so can I. It was only when we got into the car on our way home that she mentioned it. It seems there were men that were a bit persistent, I explained that it happens but she felt too uncomfortable after telling them it was her first time and we were there as a couple, she’s read some of your comments and does feel better about the experience this morning
thank you x
Al |
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"Thanks for the advice all, she can definitely hold her own and so can I. It was only when we got into the car on our way home that she mentioned it. It seems there were men that were a bit persistent, I explained that it happens but she felt too uncomfortable after telling them it was her first time and we were there as a couple, she’s read some of your comments and does feel better about the experience this morning
thank you x
Al"
We've never experienced this but would suggest if it happens again she lets you know straight away so that it can be handled appropriately at the time. |
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"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?"
Yes on occasion, but in general we've found guys in clubs to be pretty decent and respectful. Also we've travelled to many clubs over the years and many events. We've found some clubs and/or events tend be less behaved than others. Some to the point we've found the general behaviour disgusting too. So it may just be a case of wrong club or event. But like I said most clubs the guys are pretty decent. Some clubs are particularly well run in terms of the guys they let in. For example Purple Mamba Nottingham takes a keen intrest in everyone it allows to be members. Not in an elitist way, they just want to check you have the right attitude and mindset for safe consensual swinging. So they do a mini interview with everyone before they grant membership. So I would say do your research and maybe try somewhere else?
But where ever you go there's a chance of one or two who are not respectful. Which is stupid on their behalf because they just cock block themselves. If one tried this with Mrs Misfit she'd be the first to tell them to F off. You do have to have a certain level of assertiveness in the club scene. And although not a hanging offence you can still have a word with the owners. Just so they maybe able to have a word with the individual about etiquette and the basics of respect. |
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"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?"
Marked under Something that never happened |
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By *CExeCouple 16 weeks ago
Hong-Kong/Exeter |
"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?
Marked under Something that never happened "
What a helpful contribution |
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"So after a visit to a swingers club with my partner for the first time, it’s safe to say we won’t be going again, which is a shame really as most of the people we met were lovely but it was spoiled by a handful of men chatting up my partner and offering to meet her alone and give her their phone numbers! has anyone else experienced this or is this the norm at Swingers Clubs?
Marked under Something that never happened
What a helpful contribution "
Well to be fair he's not wrong is he  |
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" It was only when we got into the car on our way home that she mentioned it. "
Where were you when the men were giving her their phone numbers ? Were they business cards or written on scraps of paper ? |
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We been to many club nights and not experienced that. If you prefer then just visit thr couples and single ladies nights. Or maybe try a different club. It's not like that in all clubs. There are decent respectful singles guys out there that won't do that. |
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