So as a returning member from a few years ago, the behaviour of the community here seems to have changed. I think of myself as a thoughtful and respectful guy, I personalise my messages and always send a face pic as requested.
We all know that we like what we like, different strokes for different folk and all that but nobody seems to interact on here anymore even if its just to chat.
I always take no reply as a reply when messages get read and I know that women and couples get spammed with 100s of messages a day etc but some of messages that are sent dont even get read.
This is genuinely not intended to be a negative post, just intrigued to hear it from couples and womens perspective when they receive messages from guys
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Guys think there is a perfect message, there isn't. It all comes down to attraction, even the basic of messages can be pursued if the person fancies them enough. Sure some messages are more intriguing than others but it isnt about the message, it's about the person.. shallow as it may seem. |
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There's no magic formula. Never has been.
We'll reply to a good, personal and individual message even if we're not interested in the sender.
We'll ignore one word/one line dull 'hey' or 'how are you?' ones and just delete.
We view profiles before opening, so even a really good message from someone we'd never be interested in will go in the bin after a 'no thanks' response.
An average message from a profile we like the look of will always stand more of a chance of a reply than a superb message from a dull, largely blank profile, one that's not at all what we look for, or one full of nothing but dick pics or loads centering on faceless women and previous conquest.
Focus more on your profile and worry less about crafting the perfect message will always be our advice. 🤷♂️ |
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"Guys think there is a perfect message, there isn't. It all comes down to attraction, even the basic of messages can be pursued if the person fancies them enough. Sure some messages are more intriguing than others but it isnt about the message, it's about the person.. shallow as it may seem."
Thats for that honest answer, I know there is no magic formula. I agree to an extent that the physical attraction is the human instinct that kicks in first with it all, but I tend to read the profiles too about what people are looking, but if it is based on initial attraction my aging looks could be the source of my frustration lol  |
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"We are always happy if someone just wants to chat but it soon leads to when can we meet. So, it's not just a chat then is it. "
Yeah I absolutely get that, and I know that you cannot answer every single message that would be impossible |
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Thanks for the constructive comments here, I have tried to cover the bases with my profile by being descriptive about me and what I am here for, but I totally get what you are saying about one liners and no effort messages which is the reason I dont send those, the interaction just feels very different to a few years ago, almost guarded if that makes sense! |
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"Guys think there is a perfect message, there isn't. It all comes down to attraction, even the basic of messages can be pursued if the person fancies them enough. Sure some messages are more intriguing than others but it isnt about the message, it's about the person.. shallow as it may seem.
Thats for that honest answer, I know there is no magic formula. I agree to an extent that the physical attraction is the human instinct that kicks in first with it all, but I tend to read the profiles too about what people are looking, but if it is based on initial attraction my aging looks could be the source of my frustration lol "
I'm not gonna say that age is just a number, but.......
Yeah, it is. 🤷♂️
It'll block you from messaging some due to filters, sure.
People will sometimes have strict age preferences stated on profiles, of course.
If you're still trying to contact the kind of people of an age you were 20 years ago then yeah, you're making life hard for yourself if you expect the same level of responses.
But line up a dozen guys of different ages from late 30's to over 50's in real life or a club setting and it's often hard to work out who is what age.
It's not always about age. It's more complex than that. It's about attraction, personality, mentality and a whole lot more. |
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absultely agree- a well constructed profile always wins over messages. and then theres the chatrooms whch we use often
"There's no magic formula. Never has been.
We'll reply to a good, personal and individual message even if we're not interested in the sender.
We'll ignore one word/one line dull 'hey' or 'how are you?' ones and just delete.
We view profiles before opening, so even a really good message from someone we'd never be interested in will go in the bin after a 'no thanks' response.
An average message from a profile we like the look of will always stand more of a chance of a reply than a superb message from a dull, largely blank profile, one that's not at all what we look for, or one full of nothing but dick pics or loads centering on faceless women and previous conquest.
Focus more on your profile and worry less about crafting the perfect message will always be our advice. 🤷♂️"
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"There's not a perfect message but you need that first line that can be read without opening, to be good. Then your location needs to match our requirements.
It's not easy I know."
Thanks guys, maybe I need to drum up a slogan lol, or sales pitch 
I dont generally message people who's requirements I dont meet, I would find that frustrating if people were doing that too me to be fair!
Appreciate the feedback |
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"Guys think there is a perfect message, there isn't. It all comes down to attraction, even the basic of messages can be pursued if the person fancies them enough. Sure some messages are more intriguing than others but it isnt about the message, it's about the person.. shallow as it may seem.
Thats for that honest answer, I know there is no magic formula. I agree to an extent that the physical attraction is the human instinct that kicks in first with it all, but I tend to read the profiles too about what people are looking, but if it is based on initial attraction my aging looks could be the source of my frustration lol
I'm not gonna say that age is just a number, but.......
Yeah, it is. 🤷♂️
It'll block you from messaging some due to filters, sure.
People will sometimes have strict age preferences stated on profiles, of course.
If you're still trying to contact the kind of people of an age you were 20 years ago then yeah, you're making life hard for yourself if you expect the same level of responses.
But line up a dozen guys of different ages from late 30's to over 50's in real life or a club setting and it's often hard to work out who is what age.
It's not always about age. It's more complex than that. It's about attraction, personality, mentality and a whole lot more. "
Hi guys, thanks for adding your thoughts, I respect all the filters that people put in to.reduce the amount of messages they get especially when 95% of the male population on here dont seem to pay attention to anyone's profile.
Very interesting to read about the line up of different ages, ive never been to a club but I understand what you mean about it, again it comes down to personal preference i guess. My silver locks will give the age gane away lol |
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"absultely agree- a well constructed profile always wins over messages. and then theres the chatrooms whch we use often
There's no magic formula. Never has been.
We'll reply to a good, personal and individual message even if we're not interested in the sender.
We'll ignore one word/one line dull 'hey' or 'how are you?' ones and just delete.
We view profiles before opening, so even a really good message from someone we'd never be interested in will go in the bin after a 'no thanks' response.
An average message from a profile we like the look of will always stand more of a chance of a reply than a superb message from a dull, largely blank profile, one that's not at all what we look for, or one full of nothing but dick pics or loads centering on faceless women and previous conquest.
Focus more on your profile and worry less about crafting the perfect message will always be our advice. 🤷♂️"
Thanks for your thoughts the theme definitely points to me needing a marketing person to write me a better profile as I know my is extremely long winded.......
Ive popped in and out of the chat rooms at different times but never usually anyone on there other than a load of blokes, feels like the nerds in the school disco lol |
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