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By *MandMMCouple 3 weeks ago
Welwyn |
Nerves are perfectly normal. Find a couple that a happy to go slowly and be patient. And don't be afraid to say stop if you're not comfortable. We had a fantastic first experience because of this. |
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"Nerves are perfectly normal. Find a couple that a happy to go slowly and be patient. And don't be afraid to say stop if you're not comfortable. We had a fantastic first experience because of this. "
Exactly this |
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Were nervous every time we meet, and thats perfectly natural.
Spend time finding the right people who are a genuine match and don't rush into anything.
4 years in, we've had some amazing meets and no regrets. |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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We’ve been in the lifestyle for almost 10 years together and honestly, not only do we remember how nervous we were the first time but we still get nervous even now, it’s just easier to manage and it’s more excited nerves than anxious!
Also, the one thing we’d say above all else is as long as you two communicate well between one another before, during and after, even if the experience doesn’t live up to expectations you’ll have a positive experience and outcome because you’re united on it. Honestly I think that’s a big reason why we’re still active. Communication is everything. Feel free to message if you ever need to ask anything else. |
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Think of it like the first pancake it's still tasty but it doesn't always come out right, then you use the spatula to toss the pancake, after awhile you try tossing the pancake, the first time it doesn't quite work, but with a better practice you are tossing perfect pancakes and trying different toppings/fillings.
The first time with nevers it may not turn out perfectly, if it doesn't don't let it put you off.
Just make sure you have discussed boundaries and have a safety work.
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The best advice I can give is remain in control. As the man we invited was more experienced than us he ran the show (no criticism of him- he thought it was helpful) and when we reflected back in it we didn't get out of it what we wanted to/expected.
The next time I was much more vocal, in control and specific- as harsh as this may sound i put our needs above the third and worked from there.
It wasnt a case of treating them like a live sex toy, but simply being very clear around what I expected. Any decent third should be receptIve to that, providing you listen to their needs too.
Enjoy! |
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That's an observation we made early on. There seemed to be pros and cons of inviting a guy to join us who had lots of experience, but we decided against it actually.
We have had one threesome experience so far and have said to ourselves that at least for the first few it would be nice to have a fellow beginner, just so we are all at a similar stage of our exploring journey together. |
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It's natural to be nervous.
But we treat any meets as a social event, and if there is mutual attraction and all wish to do more, it's then a case of going with the flow as what feels good.
At any point anyone is unhappy the play stops.. No means no.
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"Each one to their own… in our experience we both were nervous but speaking about Mimi specifically, she dived in and didn’t look back.
Did us both good in the end. 😇"
Nerves is good.. Sets your sex senses tingling too |
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