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How important is mutual attraction from the start?
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When looking at couples’ profiles, we sometimes find that only one of us is attracted to the other couple based on first impressions.
We imagine this is fairly common,whether only one partner is attracted to the other couple, or, for straight couples, attraction exists only for one half of the couple toward the opposite sex member of the other couple.
We’ve also seen profiles that say “Not taking one for the team.” That sounds a bit blunt, but we understand the reasoning, especially when all you have to go on is a profile.
How do you handle situations like this?
Would /Do you take a chance and hopefully allow personality, chemistry, conversation,etc lead to attraction developing over time?
Interested to hear how other couples navigate mismatched attraction. |
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TBH,as relative newbies, we’ve also found our thinking changing a little. In the beginning we were far more focused on attraction, whereas now we’re starting to appreciate how much socials, personality and chemistry can influence things too . |
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Its very important.
Its actually the reason why we both now have solo accounts.
Mr especially used to find it so frustrating that only one of us was ever really attracted to the couple.
You hear people say they take one for the team, its such a horrible thing. We never did it and never would.
Solo allows you to be more specific of what you want. It works much better this way for us. |
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This is generally why we use our single profiles mostly now.
It's very hard to find couples where we fancy both and them both of us.
It's me that's pickier than my other half and it's tough because so many couples don't even show the man in pics. Or just have a token cock pic, mind that's a good filter and we avoid those types of couple profiles.
We tend to have a social first, that's if there's some form of attraction there. But, if one of us isn't feeling it during /after the social, it wouldn't get to another meet for swaps.
My partner has his own profile top, as we met here. He has full permission to meet alone & I happily confirm this with anyone who wanted me to. |
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As others have said - as long as you’re not going “Bleurrrrghhh” at the profile, consider a social…
In our humble opinion, a few hours spent chatting, laughing, drinking great drinks and maybe eating wonderful food with like minded people is a good use of a few hours - more is a bonus, not a necessity….
Plus - profiles and photographs don’t really show personality…and it’s that that’s at least as important as looks… |
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In vanilla dating I wouldn’t meet someone or ‘swipe right ‘ I didn’t at least find them initially attractive in some way shape or form.
Now bring swinging into the mix, I’m already attached to someone I fancy and adore so anyone I’m going to consider sleeping with or being intimate with has to tickle my fancy looks wise. Personality is important too but since I’m not dating them so long as they can carry a conversation, attractive and polite then all good. Bonus if we have things in common but main thing is we are sexually compatible. |
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We hardly look for couples now.
I’d say 75% of couples profiles have pics of the lady and either nothing of the guy or just his dick.
Then trying to get a pic of Mr is too hard, so we don’t bother now.
We wouldn’t have a social with someone unless we were sure there was something already there. Not hoping to find something.
We have great sex with each other and that’s what we look for in others joining us, so we’d much rather wait than just go with something half hearted.
Singles are much easier for us. For establishing connections.
K |
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If one of us wasn't feeling attraction neither of us went ahead.
I have been in situations where it was very clear the guy wasn't attracted to me. It's depressing and humiliating. I would never put anyone else in that situation |
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By *aandLoCouple 2 days ago
Southampton |
Já isn't attracted physically to the woman in a couple 9/10 times online, so doesn't like to meet.
I go initially on a 'they look nice and normal,' then the attraction comes (or doesn't) from the in person conversation and flirting. But of course that's before you take into account the other couple have to feel attraction to us too....We've given up on trying to connect with couples on the whole.
It disappoints me as on the few occasions we've tried I've found watching him so hot. It also disappoints him as he'd like to have some fun for him. While he loves watching me with guys and we enjoy spit roast, DP etc together, it's a different fun.
Recently we've agreed to try to connect for an MFM for which he will make the initial contact with women he finds attractive - I know if he finds them physically attractive I will. |
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By *aandLoCouple 2 days ago
Southampton |
"If one of us wasn't feeling attraction neither of us went ahead.
I have been in situations where it was very clear the guy wasn't attracted to me. It's depressing and humiliating. I would never put anyone else in that situation "
I find that hard to believe. Your photos are gorgeous. xx |
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"If one of us wasn't feeling attraction neither of us went ahead.
I have been in situations where it was very clear the guy wasn't attracted to me. It's depressing and humiliating. I would never put anyone else in that situation
I find that hard to believe. Your photos are gorgeous. xx"
Thank you but I know nobody can be everyone's cup of tea. He should have been honest from the start but his wife was keen. |
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"If one of us wasn't feeling attraction neither of us went ahead.
I have been in situations where it was very clear the guy wasn't attracted to me. It's depressing and humiliating. I would never put anyone else in that situation "
This is pretty much how we have approached things until now. |
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As fickle as it may sound, for us a physical attraction is the starting point & without it we wouldn't move forward for a social,especially if there was any great distance involved, but a social connection is just as important, you can talk your way out of my knickers quicker than you can talk your way into them lol - in our experience without both a physical & social connection it'd just be sex & mediocre sex at that & tbh neither of us want or do mediocre!  |
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"When looking at couples’ profiles, we sometimes find that only one of us is attracted to the other couple based on first impressions.
We imagine this is fairly common,whether only one partner is attracted to the other couple, or, for straight couples, attraction exists only for one half of the couple toward the opposite sex member of the other couple.
We’ve also seen profiles that say “Not taking one for the team.” That sounds a bit blunt, but we understand the reasoning, especially when all you have to go on is a profile.
How do you handle situations like this?
Would /Do you take a chance and hopefully allow personality, chemistry, conversation,etc lead to attraction developing over time?
Interested to hear how other couples navigate mismatched attraction."
Meet them in a club that way you’re in a sexy environment, you will see a side to them you wouldn’t normally get to see and if it doesn’t work out, there’s other options |
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"Attraction to me doesn’t just mean physical but also having an appealing personality too. A woman who was physically stunning but had the personality of a paper bag would be a turn off."
Totally agree but from the reverse perspective! Can have a great body but he needs to be able to get in my head first xx |
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"Definitely has to be physical attraction from the outset, hopefully the personality etc follows too "
Sadly though some people set there age limits too low which sometimes make them miss out on potential playmates as they cant send messages to them lol;-)
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