FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Verifications - am I pathetic ??
Verifications - am I pathetic ??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just typing this I can feel myself going red - so slap my face and make me see sense! Its pathetic really to fret over this ......
Ive had three really good meets lately amongst others that HAVE veri'd me - I'm experienced to know good sex  Well three of the meets havent verified me yet despite a gentle reminder -I went first and gave them all very good well written veri's. None have bothered to reciprocate - its really pissing me off ! I want to snatch back my veri - course I cant !
Tips to deal and also prevent future situations or just man up and deal with it !! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just typing this I can feel myself going red - so slap my face and make me see sense! Its pathetic really to fret over this ......
Ive had three really good meets lately amongst others that HAVE veri'd me - I'm experienced to know good sex Well three of the meets havent verified me yet despite a gentle reminder -I went first and gave them all very good well written veri's. None have bothered to reciprocate - its really pissing me off ! I want to snatch back my veri - course I cant !
Tips to deal and also prevent future situations or just man up and deal with it !! X "
i know how u feel.i have had quite a few that dont veri.i sit there for ages thinking and writing all the compliments and what do i get bac? sweet f a.  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Happens to me, and bothers me too, which is silly because its not like I am short of verifications. But if someone doesn't verify me I always think they didn't enjoy the meet, which can be depressing.
Wait for them to verify you first, and if they don't then don't verify them. Then forget about it and meet someone who will.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing you can do about it so don't let it worry you, your verifications on your profile are great, what's more could they say?
But yes... There should be a way to take the verification you gave them back :P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe they have a perfectly valid reason not to verify you? Or they simply didn't want to? Or haven't got round to it yet?
Verifications are a bit like presents in so much as you don't give to receive. No entitlement nor expectation.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" There should be a way to take the verification you gave them back :P"
Why?
The idea of retracting a verification on a tit for tat basis is pathetic. Assuming that the vewi's she left were genuine why on earth should people be allowed to delete them because their ego has been damaged by not having had one back? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No you're not pathetic hun. It has happened to me in the past. Now, I don't verify until I have one from them, and if you block them, your verification will disappear. It depends whether or not you are going to see them again really.
Try not to fret over this, just be more wary in future.
Have fun xxxx |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I think I and going to look at this slightly differently to others....
it almost feels as if people are being forced into verifying people... however "subtle" is it...
well I have verified them, so they must verify me...... bit playground-ish for me!! like it is some unwritten rule
if people are verifying to get one back, I would suggest its being done for the wrong reasons......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't worry about it. Its all about the experiance when you had it,not the verification.Well I think so anyway.
And you seem to be doing ok for verifications so far anyway  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are a gorgeous lookng woman.Why so hung up on veri's
. Your inbox must be full on a daily basis, so stop stressing and enjoy yourself
xxxxx"
to be honest I was thinking the same, I doubt these 3 verifications will make any difference at all to the amount of offers she gets already |
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"On the other side of the coin I've met three who didn't want to be verified because they've "got enough""
we have verifications that we don't display and we have met people who we are in on-going communication with and neither of us have verified each other its no so much because we have enough but more that we feel that as long as we have fairly recent ones displayed that show we are genuine any more is over egging the custard.....and now I've typed all that I see it is nearly the same as having enough |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"On the other side of the coin I've met three who didn't want to be verified because they've "got enough"
No such thing! "
For heavens sake woman, will you stop reading my mind
OP, I tend to ask blokes if they want a verification (if I remember) as to be fair, it's probably a lot easier to get verifications as a single fem, I can think of a couple of times where I've verified and not received one back, it annoys me for a little while cos I try to put a bit of thought into what I send (and be subtle, rather than OTT regarding sexual skills if applicable). It's not something I lose any sleep over, but it is a bit irksome (that's my word of the week this week) when I've bothered for them. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Just don't let it bother you! I never have asked and never would, I only verify if someone I have met has asked me to, even then they haven't reciprocated, but hey, why let it bother you? x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you so much peeps and you are all so right !! - like I said I feel proper stupid over it ... If these were bog standard average meets I could understand ... But one veri I wrote was extensive and the guy was really really grateful - all these are generally non verified guys as they are youngsters - so I go first xx oh well ....
Cheers |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
In my opinion no one should be made to feel obligated to leave a veri. I have not verified everyone I have met and not everyone I have met has verified me. It has nothing to do with them being a bad meet or anything, I just don't feel the need to leave a veri for everyone. I would never ever expect one from someone else either. I think it's entirely up to them if they want to give me one.
It's like someone said above, I give someone a present because I want to, not so that they will buy me one back. It doesn't work like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just typing this I can feel myself going red - so slap my face and make me see sense! Its pathetic really to fret over this ......
Ive had three really good meets lately amongst others that HAVE veri'd me - I'm experienced to know good sex Well three of the meets havent verified me yet despite a gentle reminder -I went first and gave them all very good well written veri's. None have bothered to reciprocate - its really pissing me off ! I want to snatch back my veri - course I cant !
Tips to deal and also prevent future situations or just man up and deal with it !! X "
Ive had this. I would veri first and like you, nothing. I don't veri first anymore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer my veris to refer to me as a person not how the sex was....i dont know how i would feel as people have always written me one...ask them again why they havnt maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my opinion no one should be made to feel obligated to leave a veri. I have not verified everyone I have met and not everyone I have met has verified me. It has nothing to do with them being a bad meet or anything, I just don't feel the need to leave a veri for everyone. I would never ever expect one from someone else either. I think it's entirely up to them if they want to give me one.
It's like someone said above, I give someone a present because I want to, not so that they will buy me one back. It doesn't work like that."
This  |
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By *andACouple
over a year ago
glasgow |
I've always seen verifications as just that, something that verifies you are genuine so I've never really seen the need to get one for every meet.
I know some people use them as some sort of performance rating but I think that tends to be where the problems start... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happens to me, and bothers me too, which is silly because its not like I am short of verifications. But if someone doesn't verify me I always think they didn't enjoy the meet, which can be depressing.
Wait for them to verify you first, and if they don't then don't verify them. Then forget about it and meet someone who will. "
but thats not the case cos we ad people not verify s and still ask to meet us quite a few times after and even invite us o parties .some people just don't care about Verifications,they ay show thers but not give many out .if you thought the meet was good it probably was .it be worse if they blocked you stopped talking to you .then you would know you went their cup of tea.poppyx  |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"I got another user no longer on site today. That's one way of losing the bloody things 
Stop scaring them away then! "
Think you hit the nail on the head there. It was only a bloody bunny ffs |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I got another user no longer on site today. That's one way of losing the bloody things
Stop scaring them away then!
Think you hit the nail on the head there. It was only a bloody bunny ffs "
Causing abject terror is not a good meet strategy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I told someone not to bother the other day. I don't have verifications from all my meets. Surely all that counts is you had a good time"
My last 3 meets are unverified. The smile on their face, the continued meets and friendship are worth more than a veri |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Happens to me, and bothers me too, which is silly because its not like I am short of verifications. But if someone doesn't verify me I always think they didn't enjoy the meet, which can be depressing.
Wait for them to verify you first, and if they don't then don't verify them. Then forget about it and meet someone who will. but thats not the case cos we ad people not verify s and still ask to meet us quite a few times after and even invite us o parties .some people just don't care about Verifications,they ay show thers but not give many out .if you thought the meet was good it probably was .it be worse if they blocked you stopped talking to you .then you would know you went their cup of tea.poppyx "
I'm not saying the meet WAS crap, I'm saying lack of verification makes me think the meet was crap, and therefore I would be less likely to contact them for a repeat meet. It's silly I know, but that's how I feel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got another user no longer on site today. That's one way of losing the bloody things
Stop scaring them away then!
Think you hit the nail on the head there. It was only a bloody bunny ffs "
So thats where my bunny went!
Good job i dont scare easy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's bad manners not to reciprocate, but manners don't seem to matter to a lot of people these days."
Some just want to fuck not write about it |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Thank you so much peeps and you are all so right !! - like I said I feel proper stupid over it ... If these were bog standard average meets I could understand ... But one veri I wrote was extensive and the guy was really really grateful - all these are generally non verified guys as they are youngsters - so I go first xx oh well ....
Cheers "
Maybe them being youngsters could be something to do with it...they're maybe not as eloquent as those of us of more mature years (otherwise known as "owd gits"), an extensive verification may leave them feeling they can't adequately match your written expression...just a thought as I've sent veris and received messages along the lines of "I'm not very good with words" to which I've said that's not a problem, I don't mind if you don't veri, or just say she's a blonde and she's bonkers, but for fuck's sake don't tell anyone I'm a prop forward called Darren |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I and going to look at this slightly differently to others....
it almost feels as if people are being forced into verifying people... however "subtle" is it...
well I have verified them, so they must verify me...... bit playground-ish for me!! like it is some unwritten rule
if people are verifying to get one back, I would suggest its being done for the wrong reasons......
"
Totally agree. It is a personal choice whether to verify or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few not verify me...and all have asked for repeat meets so don't assume it's because they didn't enjoy the meet. Some I've met again, some I haven't but that's been nothing to do with them verifying/not verifying.
Some guys just have no idea what to put in a veri and some are just plain lazy!! I was meeting a guy for 18mths and he never verified me...claimed he did though!! Guess there is a possibility he did and it didn't go through but I didn't stop shagging him because of it.
If you think it's rude then don't verify anyone till they've verified you. Personally I'm usually looking for the next victim once I've left a veri not waiting to have one returned!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got another user no longer on site today. That's one way of losing the bloody things
Stop scaring them away then!
Think you hit the nail on the head there. It was only a bloody pineapple up my arse ffs "
Crikey. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe they didn't enjoy the meet as much as you and don't know what to write.
Thinking the same  "
One was a second meet ! Maybe he came back to check he didnt like it lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It used to bother me when people didn't verify me back but since I stopped showing them it doesn't matter to me anymore. I just look at my veri's when I need cheering up. |
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"Maybe they didn't enjoy the meet as much as you and don't know what to write.
Thinking the same
One was a second meet ! Maybe he came back to check he didnt like it lol x "
Lol! I doubt that. In all honesty the guys probably just haven't got round to it |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Maybe they didn't enjoy the meet as much as you and don't know what to write.
Thinking the same
One was a second meet ! Maybe he came back to check he didnt like it lol x "
Maybe he didn't like the second meet as much as the first or as much as you |
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"Just typing this I can feel myself going red - so slap my face and make me see sense! Its pathetic really to fret over this ......
Ive had three really good meets lately amongst others that HAVE veri'd me - I'm experienced to know good sex Well three of the meets havent verified me yet despite a gentle reminder -I went first and gave them all very good well written veri's. None have bothered to reciprocate - its really pissing me off ! I want to snatch back my veri - course I cant !
Tips to deal and also prevent future situations or just man up and deal with it !! X "
Choose your playmates more carefully |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just think it's respectful to acknowledge the meet - a few words or a short story ...it's obvious to anyone who is reading how good/ bad it was - it's just lazy if someone does not leave one |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"I got another user no longer on site today. That's one way of losing the bloody things
Stop scaring them away then!
Think you hit the nail on the head there. It was only a bloody pineapple up my arse ffs
Crikey. "
Hahaha I'll ave you Butler |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got another user no longer on site today. That's one way of losing the bloody things
Stop scaring them away then!
Think you hit the nail on the head there. It was only a bloody pineapple up my arse ffs
Crikey.
Hahaha I'll ave you Butler "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the worlds worst for verifying people and generally only do them if a guy doesn't have any. I don't ask or expect them and even if I do get them I don't show them.
The last one I did was I think 4 words long |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It use to p me off not getting veri's back when I had written them one,i like receiving them they make me smile.it dont bother me now tho,i dont look a rite old slut 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the worlds worst for verifying people and generally only do them if a guy doesn't have any. I don't ask or expect them and even if I do get them I don't show them.
The last one I did was I think 4 words long "
You owe me one from 20yrs ago |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the worlds worst for verifying people and generally only do them if a guy doesn't have any. I don't ask or expect them and even if I do get them I don't show them.
The last one I did was I think 4 words long
You owe me one from 20yrs ago "
Wasn't me I've only been here 5 years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you need a veri to validate a good meet then maybe that says more about you...absolutely no offence meant there. What difference does it make really. I have been asked to verify someone and that just makes me determined not to do it ...keep enjoying your meets and to hell with daft veris |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"I'm the worlds worst for verifying people and generally only do them if a guy doesn't have any. I don't ask or expect them and even if I do get them I don't show them.
The last one I did was I think 4 words long "
Don't forget the smiley |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the worlds worst for verifying people and generally only do them if a guy doesn't have any. I don't ask or expect them and even if I do get them I don't show them.
The last one I did was I think 4 words long
Don't forget the smiley"
I recounted its 6 including that and the x |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
We have never had a bad meet on here but the veri's are 50/50 if we get one from every person we meet.
In a way its handy because we have spoke to a few couples who are put off by to many verifications.
Just enjoy the site, meets etc & if you get a veri think of it as a bonus xx. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you so much peeps and you are all so right !! - like I said I feel proper stupid over it ... If these were bog standard average meets I could understand ... But one veri I wrote was extensive and the guy was really really grateful - all these are generally non verified guys as they are youngsters - so I go first xx oh well ....
Cheers "
Like you we believe in reciprocation for verifications.. otherwise why bother? We'd all be non verified.
If they are prepared to accept and show your verification then they should also return one to you.
Send a mail to them, be direct. Perhaps they have sent one, but for some reason you haven';t received it.. sometimes this happens - If they dont send one to you.. and it means that much to you, block them, it removes the verification you gave them (although they keep their tick), and move on.
chin up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you so much peeps and you are all so right !! - like I said I feel proper stupid over it ... If these were bog standard average meets I could understand ... But one veri I wrote was extensive and the guy was really really grateful - all these are generally non verified guys as they are youngsters - so I go first xx oh well ....
Cheers
Like you we believe in reciprocation for verifications.. otherwise why bother? We'd all be non verified.
If they are prepared to accept and show your verification then they should also return one to you.
Send a mail to them, be direct. Perhaps they have sent one, but for some reason you haven';t received it.. sometimes this happens - If they dont send one to you.. and it means that much to you, block them, it removes the verification you gave them (although they keep their tick), and move on.
chin up "
LOL - block = frantic text = veri = unblock ! X got one within 10 mins ..... I'm sad I know |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
I think blocking someone you had a good time with just because they didn't leave you a veri is a bit extreme. I would actually find that rude, not them not leaving a veri! But I find expecting, demanding or hassling for a veri a bit rude also. But that's just me.
People have their own reasons for not leaving a veri. Could be they simply haven't got around to it yet, or maybe they just don't want to! It isn't a rule of the site and it is up to the individual how they use the site and its features. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its just a veri at the end of the day. Dont let it get to you. Your beautiful, and your going to do well on here regardless of any veris.
Your profile text and your pictures are very ennticing..now I regret shaving my hair (by choice may I add lol)
 |
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"I think blocking someone you had a good time with just because they didn't leave you a veri is a bit extreme. I would actually find that rude, not them not leaving a veri! But I find expecting, demanding or hassling for a veri a bit rude also. But that's just me.
"
Agree wholeheartedly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do verify people. I know a few words aren't majorly important, but I just think its nice and polite to show appreciation. If I've been to a party I always message the hosts to thank them personally for inviting us to their home. I don't expect a veri back and I would never ask or hint for one, but when I receive one I do appreciate the thoughtfulness of that person.
I am more bothered though about feedback on eBay. I get miffed if I've sold an item, especially if it's a bargain for the purchaser and I know the item is good quality, if they don't leave feedback. I almost want to go to their house, give the money back and take the item off them.
Yes we all know these things are silly, as the OP herself has stated she knows this, but we all fall victim to silly things that aren't important at times |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do verify people. I know a few words aren't majorly important, but I just think its nice and polite to show appreciation. If I've been to a party I always message the hosts to thank them personally for inviting us to their home. I don't expect a veri back and I would never ask or hint for one, but when I receive one I do appreciate the thoughtfulness of that person.
I am more bothered though about feedback on eBay. I get miffed if I've sold an item, especially if it's a bargain for the purchaser and I know the item is good quality, if they don't leave feedback. I almost want to go to their house, give the money back and take the item off them.
Yes we all know these things are silly, as the OP herself has stated she knows this, but we all fall victim to silly things that aren't important at times "
Exactly and thank you xx Ive slapped myself hard - moved on and feel better for airing and listening to alternative _iews even if they are not with me - they are valuable to the debate x thanks x |
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By *ixmaMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Just typing this I can feel myself going red - so slap my face and make me see sense! Its pathetic really to fret over this ......
Ive had three really good meets lately amongst others that HAVE veri'd me - I'm experienced to know good sex Well three of the meets havent verified me yet despite a gentle reminder -I went first and gave them all very good well written veri's. None have bothered to reciprocate - its really pissing me off ! I want to snatch back my veri - course I cant !
Tips to deal and also prevent future situations or just man up and deal with it !! X "
That will teach you to only play with youngsters, lol. On a serious note though as good looking as you are I'm surprised it's bothering you so much but I do concede it would rile me a tad also |
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it pisses us of too, we have verified 3 people, even had a message to ask if it was ok for them to verify us and nothing, not going to do anymore.
getting a complex that perhaps we may be a crap shag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it pisses us of too, we have verified 3 people, even had a message to ask if it was ok for them to verify us and nothing, not going to do anymore.
getting a complex that perhaps we may be a crap shag "
ungrateful bastards think we are all grateful to just meet someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They must be on another planet not to verify you. Losers. But annoying as it is (and I don't blame you for being annoyed) you appear to have quite a few good veri's so I think it's safe to say it's not going to affect your fun in any way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get that too. Guys r quite happy for me to verify them, but then they dont want to return the favour. I then wont meet them anymore and file them in a box marked D for drongo and forget them lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to say I hate verifications I find them a little crass to be honest. I know I'm good lol and never had a complaint. Why would I want it plastered all over my page as to what happened on the meet. As long as you have been verified as genuine that's it. I am put off if someones got lots of verifications. But Ive got nearly 5000 veris on my ebay lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stopped doing verifications on the basis that i wasn't getting any back, happened 4x now, got email etc saying we had a great time etc but no verifications were left on my profile after me leaving them 1, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had to stop showing mine because of someone getting jealous and nearly losing a friend ( think we,re back on track nearly ) and I've decided not to write one first unless they haven't already got any |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just typing this I can feel myself going red - so slap my face and make me see sense! Its pathetic really to fret over this ......
Ive had three really good meets lately amongst others that HAVE veri'd me - I'm experienced to know good sex Well three of the meets havent verified me yet despite a gentle reminder -I went first and gave them all very good well written veri's. None have bothered to reciprocate - its really pissing me off ! I want to snatch back my veri - course I cant !
Tips to deal and also prevent future situations or just man up and deal with it !! X "
Learn from it, and revel in the knowledge that they've no chance of getting great sex from you again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personnally...aside from the main reason for having a verification...to verify you are REAL, I dont see what the fuss is about.
Lets be honest, after a while, a verification then becomes like a compliment, a boost to the ego.....we all love to recieve compliments but I would never ask for one! . The same goes for verifications. If I write one and they dont write one back....so what? Oh ok..it bruises the ego a bit but get over it! There are a million reasons why...some people cant be bothered, laziness, dont like writing, just forget, ......or they simply want to! Thats life! I write a verification if I choose to....and I do 99% of the time to be fair...but if someone presses me for one just to boost their ego....then I am less inclined. Someone wrote earlier than a verification is like a gift and that we dont give to recieve. I like that and agree wholeheartedly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Exactly to the above!
All this 'entitlement' attitude spoils what should be good fun!
People.....dont worry about it!!!! Xx
Once you have a few nice verifications to show you are real and genuine...move on and have fun....if someone is kind enough to write you a nice verification afterwards, then be happy!  |
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