FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > No thanks?
No thanks?
Jump to: Newest in thread
Just wondering what peoples thoughts on this are. Single males especially.
We get tons of messages and I always reply even if its just to say no thanks as I hate ignorance with a passion and I think honesty is the best policy. Iv had various responses from "thanks", "why not?" To "go fuck urself u ugly bitch"
What do people prefer? Wud u just take a no reply as a not interested and not bother about it. Or wud u prefer a no thanks (thinking the person was ignorant if they didnt reply) and realise its not me been a bitch its just different floats for different boats (ie some people are attracted to people others arent)
Confused.com  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wondering what peoples thoughts on this are. Single males especially.
We get tons of messages and I always reply even if its just to say no thanks as I hate ignorance with a passion and I think honesty is the best policy. Iv had various responses from "thanks", "why not?" To "go fuck urself u ugly bitch"
What do people prefer? Wud u just take a no reply as a not interested and not bother about it. Or wud u prefer a no thanks (thinking the person was ignorant if they didnt reply) and realise its not me been a bitch its just different floats for different boats (ie some people are attracted to people others arent)
Confused.com "
Bee good to have a reply, but not bothered if I dont get one, and I am never abusive when rejected  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Firstly there was a Big debate on even doing this the other day.
I think there were two camps.
1 I don't have to say no thanks and everyone is a prick when I do so I don't.
2 you don't has to but it is polite.
I don't mind being told no. Personally I like the feedback. Maybe it's preference. Maybe it's something I've said or done. So I would just say honesty is best. Not iterated? Tell em why.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just wondering what peoples thoughts on this are. Single males especially.
We get tons of messages and I always reply even if its just to say no thanks as I hate ignorance with a passion and I think honesty is the best policy. Iv had various responses from "thanks", "why not?" To "go fuck urself u ugly bitch"
What do people prefer? Wud u just take a no reply as a not interested and not bother about it. Or wud u prefer a no thanks (thinking the person was ignorant if they didnt reply) and realise its not me been a bitch its just different floats for different boats (ie some people are attracted to people others arent)
Confused.com "
I'd prefer a 'no thanks'
The people that get to me are the ones that contact me, message a while, say they want to meet & then just not message again but still remain on site.
Do I message them or am I then a stalker? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Considering most the mail - like 95% - we get are from guys who haven't had the decency to review our profile and dont match what we are looking for at all, I don't feel why it would be rude not to reply to them.
As it happens I reply to most but like you have had the odd nasty reply back. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics |
"Considering most the mail - like 95% - we get are from guys who haven't had the decency to review our profile and dont match what we are looking for at all, I don't feel why it would be rude not to reply to them.
As it happens I reply to most but like you have had the odd nasty reply back. "
This has been my experience too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Firstly there was a Big debate on even doing this the other day.
I think there were two camps.
1 I don't have to say no thanks and everyone is a prick when I do so I don't.
2 you don't has to but it is polite.
I don't mind being told no. Personally I like the feedback. Maybe it's preference. Maybe it's something I've said or done. So I would just say honesty is best. Not iterated? Tell em why.
"
There were not only two camps at all. To say so is disingenuous and reductive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Firstly there was a Big debate on even doing this the other day.
I think there were two camps.
1 I don't have to say no thanks and everyone is a prick when I do so I don't.
2 you don't has to but it is polite.
I don't mind being told no. Personally I like the feedback. Maybe it's preference. Maybe it's something I've said or done. So I would just say honesty is best. Not iterated? Tell em why.
"
But we don't have to give a reason why we're not interested |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
When visible my profile makes it perfectly clear the type of man I'm looking for. To save damaging fragile egos I make it perfectly clear, I will not reply to anyone outwith what I'm looking for.
If they can't read that's not my problem: I don't respond. However, any one matching what I'm looking for but doesn't appeal for whatever reason always gets a message. They're usually surprised to get a pleasant message to respond rudely. Some do become a pest though, so I block. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I reply to most. I get the 'but id be an exception' 'why bother mailing then', 'you're to fat/ugly/because i didn't want to wank' responses but they are a minority. The majority come back with thanks for responding but i also get the pleading ones which are worse.
I do blanket delete 'hi' or even 'hi, im xyz' & i don't feel guilty about it.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wondering what peoples thoughts on this are. Single males especially.
We get tons of messages and I always reply even if its just to say no thanks as I hate ignorance with a passion and I think honesty is the best policy. Iv had various responses from "thanks", "why not?" To "go fuck urself u ugly bitch"
What do people prefer? Wud u just take a no reply as a not interested and not bother about it. Or wud u prefer a no thanks (thinking the person was ignorant if they didnt reply) and realise its not me been a bitch its just different floats for different boats (ie some people are attracted to people others arent)
Confused.com "
Prefer to get some kind of reply than non at all x makes me feel as if they have taken the time to read your message and look at my profile x feel kinda wanted then |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ev-PMan
over a year ago
Hampshire |
"No reply is all the reply anyone needs!
Tells you all you need to know!  "
 agree, don't know what all the fuss is about. No reply ..no interest. Reply ...Yippyfuckingdoo  This thread is so repetitive |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Should be a `thanks for msg but no thanks` button you can use "
I've been on a site which had that. It was largely ignored. I would get repeat messages from people and each time hit the no thanks button. I'd have to fucking block them in the end.
Eventually I just stopped responding to those I had no interest in. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Firstly there was a Big debate on even doing this the other day.
I think there were two camps.
1 I don't have to say no thanks and everyone is a prick when I do so I don't.
2 you don't has to but it is polite.
I don't mind being told no. Personally I like the feedback. Maybe it's preference. Maybe it's something I've said or done. So I would just say honesty is best. Not iterated? Tell em why.
There were not only two camps at all. To say so is disingenuous and reductive. "
Or maybe it got really boring and fussy like most 'debates' on here and I switched off. Apologies. Spank me. Etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd prefer a 'no thanks'
The people that get to me are the ones that contact me, message a while, say they want to meet & then just not message again but still remain on site.
Do I message them or am I then a stalker?"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We always try to reply to messages, unless they are cut and pasted ones. With ones that clearly show that they haven't read our profile, we ask politely that they read it again, which we state in our tome. Politeness costs nothing and we haven't ( yet ) had a nasty one. That said, we're not a single gal, who from what we know would need a secretary to keep up with their correspondence!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Considering most the mail - like 95% - we get are from guys who haven't had the decency to review our profile and dont match what we are looking for at all, I don't feel why it would be rude not to reply to them.
As it happens I reply to most but like you have had the odd nasty reply back. "
We answer to 99% with either no thanks or yes might meet. But even if you are nice and give a polite no thanks loads come back giving abuse and nasty. Can understand some couples and girls that they just delete without reading... It puts shame to some very nice single guys on Fab  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We mailed you 10 months ago and still no reply. 
All honesty we are guilty of not replying also. You either fancy someone or you don't... never ever take it personally, if you do your in the wrong place. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You should be able to have a set ' auto response ' when you receive mail from either single males, couples etc ... It can be filtered so you don't actually have to block us wonderful 'singles' but not take the time to try explain the reasons why your not interested!!!
If there is a auto reply then it would stop 'abuse' or those who just don't understand from constantly messaging !!!
Just an idea?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had a guy message me before. I said no to meeting him and that I find scouse accents annoying ( I had to put up with one for 10 years while in school) and he got abusive and aggressive |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"You should be able to have a set ' auto response ' when you receive mail from either single males, couples etc ... It can be filtered so you don't actually have to block us wonderful 'singles' but not take the time to try explain the reasons why your not interested!!!
If there is a auto reply then it would stop 'abuse' or those who just don't understand from constantly messaging !!!
Just an idea?!"
I made a comment about this earlier. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Going back about 16 months ago as a single woman a single male messaged me on here he wasnt my type, not that i have a type as such lol i said no thanks , then he sent another message we chatted on phone and now u have been living with him for 4 months now but his still not my type lol and thought this was the last place i would meet someone xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I personally like to get a reply, i spend time time to construct a detailed message and its sometimes frustrating to be ignored and deleted but having said that, I do understand that people gets loads of messages from idiots and fakes etc.
I certainly dont lose any sleep if I get a 'no thanks' but do appreciate some kind of response and usually thank people for taking the time to reply whether it's a negative or a positive one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
People message me if they feel like it, when they feel like it and not if they don't.
I reply if I feel like it, when I feel like it and not if I don't.
That seems quite fair to me. Or do senders of messages have more rights than those they send them to, and nobody thought to tell me? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I used to answer every message but after so many guys getting nasty because i said no thanks i just delete those i am not interested in now. So much easier!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Forgot to add that I do not consider it ignorant not to answer a message, but it IS ignorant to start being nasty when rejected. Get over it and move on!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well from my point of view, if I don't get a reply I see that as part and parcel of the site.
If I get a polite turn me down I'd always say thanks for the reply then leave them be.
There is no need to get abusive if turned down.
For the record...You ain't fugly!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andd2Couple
over a year ago
The Dungeon |
Like someone else has said; we don't reply to those that obviously haven't read the profile ( both of the ones we have) or send genetic messages. Those that have read but we don't fancy we WILL send a thanks but no thanks reply.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have never been abusive to anybody on this site. Thanks but no thanks means just that..... Not that I send messages anymore, have learnt its not worth the bother |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We always reply
It's courteous
Even if its a bi wanna fuck me and he's 300 miles away
If we get a thanks for the reply we say no probs good luck
If they start to have a go
We just take the piss and they usually fuck off sharpish |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I used to answer every message but after so many guys getting nasty because i said no thanks i just delete those i am not interested in now. So much easier!
"
Snap...admittedly it was a small percentage that sent nasty replies back, but it was enough to make me consider leaving the site after a couple of particularly nasty messages. So now I only reply to those I may want to meet and have been much happier on the site since.
And an auto response, or even a no thanks response, doesn't stop repeated messages from the same guy over and over. If anything I'd expect the message from Fab saying that last time you messaged this person they didn't respond would stop them re-messaging but it doesn't - it really is a no win situation so I just keep deleting those of no interest and blocking those that bug me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We don't any more the last time we did the reply we got was "is it cuz ov my ethnicity" it was easier to block that tell him he was to "straight" for us  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just wondering what peoples thoughts on this are. Single males especially.
We get tons of messages and I always reply even if its just to say no thanks as I hate ignorance with a passion and I think honesty is the best policy. Iv had various responses from "thanks", "why not?" To "go fuck urself u ugly bitch"
What do people prefer? Wud u just take a no reply as a not interested and not bother about it. Or wud u prefer a no thanks (thinking the person was ignorant if they didnt reply) and realise its not me been a bitch its just different floats for different boats (ie some people are attracted to people others arent)
Confused.com "
I get nasty replies a lot.....obviously because I'm a big girl I am desperate and should be thankful.....
Getting replies like "stuck up fat slag" only endear me to these men and I immediately change my mind.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
unless its us, then just ignore.
if we message you, however, then all your filters, standards and preferences should immediately be cessated and you should organise to meet us at your earliest convenience lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I tend not to reply as its a full time job just keeping up with messages - save today as Ive had lots of get well messages wrapped up in the first message - so ive thanked all those x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago
Worcestershire |
For me it doesn't make much difference, as others have said a no reply is all the reply you need.
I have to say though I don't understand people getting abusive if someone does spend the time to send a 'thanks but no thanks' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would really like to reply to every message, but I soon discovered I just can't. Sometimes I would actually like to meet the sender, but again I just can't. I hate inefficiency but it has been the only way not to make this a full-time job. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
