FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Swingers clubs but im too scared
Swingers clubs but im too scared
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to join swingers clubs but dont have tha balls to go alone
Maybe meet someone first that can go with meeeee 
Missing out on joining couples too
Heeeeelp hehe"
I'd love to go to a club but also too nervious to go alone - I doubt that I'd be your type Hellby but if anyone else would like a club buddy... |
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or just inform the club that you will be coming alone they will look after you sweetheart and show you around and probably introduce you to some regulars.people that they know you will be in safe hands |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why the nerves check out social nights at clubs meets and events section and go with an open mind we are all a friendly bunch and most of us dont bite lol used to go with "buddies" but much prefer going on my own can do my own thing then x
VA, Jadeees, Tease 2 and Chameleons spring to mind all great clubs with great staff and you will be well looked after x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh we've been to a few clubs around the country and Lees view on clubs is ....it's a pub with lingerie the hardest part about going to a club is walking through the door ...once your in people are always friendly have fun and give us a shout if you want sumone to hold your hands xx cali n lee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get ready for loads of mail young lady...
Go it alone, I did and it was fine, the owners were welcoming and the clientele were friendly.
Make your own rules up before you go and stick to them, any issue report to management |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like others have alluded to. Let the club know you'll be alone and that it's your first time.
We had our first club experience recently and the hosts were awesome..........tour of facilities, introduced around, announced by very funny DJ........such a positive experience.
We felt comfortable and nerves disappeared in mere minutes and the night flew by in a haze of music, dances and flesh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I too have never been and would like too,
Are there many guys that go on their own who do not know anyone ? :S
Iv wanted to go for ao long now"
Come to Jaydees tonight
Loads single guys and singles girls and some couples too !!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We went to our first club about a month ago and we were very nervous beforehand, we sat in the carpark for about 40 minutes trying to build up courage. Once inside we really didn't regret it, the owners chatted with us, put us at ease and showed us round. We didn't really swap that first night but it was good just to experience and feel more comfortable with the scene. We're going back tonight and certainly plan to have a lot more fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You should come down to london on a nice sunny day ill take you to kestrels you can relax sunbathe us pool and tubs your nerves will soon disappear and you will be swinging in the dungeon before you know it if you want to stop over ill sort you a room x |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
People are rightly nervous when they think of trying anything new, its also the unknown that also intrigues and excites us, 
Treat it as a normal Pub / club venue, theres always social areas where you can talk and meet people, the staff and guests have always been very welcoming when I ve visited clubs, |
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By *zanyCouple
over a year ago
truro |
Get yourself to Chameleans in darleston. Great staff, it is the one club my wife said she would go on her own. Just let them know and explain your new. You don't have to do anything if you just want to see what goes on. Great place and with a body like yours you will not go short of attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have the same worry too. I'd be a little timid going (especially alone) as it would be a shock to the system kinda-thing. Very different from the norm!
I think you'll get a ton of offers though. Have no fear!
P.S. I'm scouting for potential tour guides myself, haha! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I am going to say the same as most people have said in this thread.... Go alone!
Any good club worth it's salt will know it is always nervy going on your own and will look out for you.. And contrary to belief all the regulars don't all just shout fresh meat and pounce on newbies...
Go, talk to people, have a look around, talk to people, relax, talk to people.....
Go with an open mind and no expectations... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am sure you will be inundated with offers from single men to accompany you. As a single female who has done clubs alone I will just say this: chose your companion wisely! Financially as well as sexually they will be motivated to go with you. Once you are there you are stuck with them. This may spoil your first experience of clubs. Personally I would go alone and tell the staff this is your first time and you are alone. Or buddy up with another female. Enjoy!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say maybe go to a social first. Somewhere in which your friends or those you know maybe going. I'm still a newbie at the club scene and i'm trying to get out there and show my face around.
...i'm starting off with socials and then may soon just go to clubs on my own. Best thing is try to get a feel of the clubs. And if it's your cup of tea. Then, you can always go again another time.
All the best.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get yourself to Chameleans in darleston. Great staff, it is the one club my wife said she would go on her own. Just let them know and explain your new. You don't have to do anything if you just want to see what goes on. Great place and with a body like yours you will not go short of attention. "
This you'll be fine as a single lady, we've met quite a few at chameleons, we've even met a lady from Gloucester there xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have to say, been to a club and it aint all that and a bag of chips lol.
unless you live in the playrooms, and let all and sundry have their way with you, socialising gets a little difficult when the dj turns the bloody music up too loud.
and, about the missing out on couples, tbh, the only thing stopping you meeting couples from of the site is, well, you.
accept an invitation or two and see how ya go lol |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
You're an hour or so from several great clubs - many if which have regular themed/social nights. I'm sure if you posted a meet asking for someone to meet prior to arriving or there - several regulars of the club would be happy to say hi.
Try Chams, Decadence - or our favourite - Xtasia. I'm sure they'll be a few Glos locals heading up for the Phukt weekend!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to say, been to a club and it aint all that and a bag of chips lol.
unless you live in the playrooms, and let all and sundry have their way with you, socialising gets a little difficult when the dj turns the bloody music up too loud.
and, about the missing out on couples, tbh, the only thing stopping you meeting couples from of the site is, well, you.
accept an invitation or two and see how ya go lol"
I don't go in play rooms and I socialise perfectly well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to join swingers clubs but dont have tha balls to go alone
Maybe meet someone first that can go with meeeee
Missing out on joining couples too
Heeeeelp hehe"
I go on my own... Was a bit scary at first but now I know a few people and have
made some friends..... It's great fun!  |
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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
We still remember our first club meet. It was very daunting because the club we went to was not the right choice. However not put off we tried others and now love them. We still remember what it is like.
Here is an option to get into the club scene with an anterior motive. We are running a second karaoke event at xtasia. One thing we found on the first one was newbies to the club scene used the karaoke as an excuse to go. They could have a bit of entertainment that was not based on sex. They had a wander round the club after the confidence built up and now we see them as regulars. You do not have to sing on the karaoke either as we need audience too. It is a very large room with dance floor in the middle so you can sit where you like and no pressure. So why not consider joining us on the karaoke night in June.
28th June. We even have a gust list running on fab for £5 off entry. So for members (couples) it is going to cost you £20
Non members (you will need admission) it will cost you £10 membership and £20 (if on guest list) and with your membership you will get free admission to all the standard nights at the club for one month, this means if you like the place but really did not get chance to explore you have a month after free.
Message us for details |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to say, been to a club and it aint all that and a bag of chips lol.
unless you live in the playrooms, and let all and sundry have their way with you, socialising gets a little difficult when the dj turns the bloody music up too loud.
and, about the missing out on couples, tbh, the only thing stopping you meeting couples from of the site is, well, you.
accept an invitation or two and see how ya go lol
I don't go in play rooms and I socialise perfectly well "
thats fine
and we are able to do so to, until the point in the evening when you are screaming down the ear of the person you are trying to communicate with.
i only meant staying in the play rooms as they are al together a lot more sereen and quieter. |
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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"have to say, been to a club and it aint all that and a bag of chips lol.
unless you live in the playrooms, and let all and sundry have their way with you, socialising gets a little difficult when the dj turns the bloody music up too loud.
and, about the missing out on couples, tbh, the only thing stopping you meeting couples from of the site is, well, you.
accept an invitation or two and see how ya go lol
I don't go in play rooms and I socialise perfectly well
thats fine
and we are able to do so to, until the point in the evening when you are screaming down the ear of the person you are trying to communicate with.
i only meant staying in the play rooms as they are al together a lot more sereen and quieter."
Don't worry we will not be deafening you. You will be able to speak fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to say, been to a club and it aint all that and a bag of chips lol.
unless you live in the playrooms, and let all and sundry have their way with you, socialising gets a little difficult when the dj turns the bloody music up too loud.
and, about the missing out on couples, tbh, the only thing stopping you meeting couples from of the site is, well, you.
accept an invitation or two and see how ya go lol
I don't go in play rooms and I socialise perfectly well
thats fine
and we are able to do so to, until the point in the evening when you are screaming down the ear of the person you are trying to communicate with.
i only meant staying in the play rooms as they are al together a lot more sereen and quieter.
Don't worry we will not be deafening you. You will be able to speak fine."
i know.
its bound to be different at the karaoke thing.
tbh i think its actually designed t oget people out of the communal area and into the play areas. |
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By *unPeteMan
over a year ago
Near Bristol |
I've never been but I've heard The Lodge is very good and I think it's in Gloucester.
Give it a go, nobody will expect or force you to do anything you're uncomfortable with.
Come on ... chest out, swallow hard, put on your biggest smile and walk through that door!
 |
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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"To be honest we like clubs with quiet areas so we can talk and get to know people "
Xtasia has the chill out area too. Just some really quiet back ground music. So if you don't like the music (or singing on karaoke night) that is the place to be. Comfortable too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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most clubs will keep an eye on you if you tell them your a fem alone , the staff will watch over and help you and even introduce you to regulars they know they can trust to help you in your first visit, don't be shy go and enjoy we think its safer to go to a club alone ,than alone to a pub,
or find a lady or guy escort from here and agree with him that he is there for friendship and company and no sex is expected , if you change your mind later in the evening then lucky him hee hee,
also socials are good as many single ladys attend these as they are on a guest list and introduced to the others on that list |
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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"most clubs will keep an eye on you if you tell them your a fem alone , the staff will watch over and help you and even introduce you to regulars they know they can trust to help you in your first visit, don't be shy go and enjoy we think its safer to go to a club alone ,than alone to a pub,
or find a lady or guy escort from here and agree with him that he is there for friendship and company and no sex is expected , if you change your mind later in the evening then lucky him hee hee,
also socials are good as many single ladys attend these as they are on a guest list and introduced to the others on that list"
We are quite happy to meet someone at xtasia, give them a tour round and chat with nothing at all expected. Then if you feel happy to wander off you candy so but if nerves come back to you just come and find us. Xtasia is such a non pressurising place that you may not find it long before you go for a wander.m we just like to chill out so we are always about for you to return to us when and if you need to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest we like clubs with quiet areas so we can talk and get to know people
Xtasia has the chill out area too. Just some really quiet back ground music. So if you don't like the music (or singing on karaoke night) that is the place to be. Comfortable too."
your idea of really quiet and ours differ somewhat lol |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
it feels like this thread has been taken over by people advertising certain nights at certain clubs...... 
want some advice....
don't trapse all over the country from the first visit... it may not be something you will be into and would resent spending all the money....
try somewhere local with a good reputation.. you have a few close by!
dont do it on a huge party night... sometimes that can be too intimidating, have that "rabbits in the headlights" feel and to be honest you dont get a great feel for the place just because it is so busy...
try a place on a not so busy night and get a much better feel for it... just sit and talk to people, regulars will know newbies and we were all new once!... dont go out setting out to do something, but just go with the flow...
then once you have done that feel free to explore..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it feels like this thread has been taken over by people advertising certain nights at certain clubs......
want some advice....
don't trapse all over the country from the first visit... it may not be something you will be into and would resent spending all the money....
try somewhere local with a good reputation.. you have a few close by!
dont do it on a huge party night... sometimes that can be too intimidating, have that "rabbits in the headlights" feel and to be honest you dont get a great feel for the place just because it is so busy...
try a place on a not so busy night and get a much better feel for it... just sit and talk to people, regulars will know newbies and we were all new once!... dont go out setting out to do something, but just go with the flow...
then once you have done that feel free to explore....."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi Guys interesting post. I am faced with the same problem as a middle age divorcee looking for someone to with.I live in west yorkshire if anyone would like to join me. Also if anyone can reccomend a good club in west yorkshire please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to join swingers clubs but dont have tha balls to go alone
Maybe meet someone first that can go with meeeee
Missing out on joining couples too
Heeeeelp hehe"
Same for me never got the never up to go on my own. I need someone to hold my hand on the first time lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I travel the uk on my own visiting clubs x have always had a friendly welcome even though I may not have fully liked the place in the end x ive a list in my profile x |
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"I travel the uk on my own visiting clubs x have always had a friendly welcome even though I may not have fully liked the place in the end x ive a list in my profile x "
Yeah, but you special Densol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been to chams loads but always with someone, however I will be going on my own as soon as I pass my test
Just see it as having a spa afternoon with 'extras' |
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Don't be nervous, I was like you and did exactly the same thing putting it on here...it's nerve wrecking the first time but honestly I've not looked back...I'm going to a club I've not been to tonight and meeting a couple there, I've found that the owners of the clubs and even people around look after you as a single woman which is brilliant...knock the nerves on the head and take the plunge, you won't regret it...if you were closer I would've asked you to come to partners tonight with me but unfortunately you're a bit out the way...try finding another single fem in your area that feels the same...when I put my thread on about being nervous to go to a club, I got a couple of single female friends offering to go with me...even met one of the gorgeous women again and attended another club with her...and plan to conquer more! Haha! Make club friends or plan to meet people there and you'll be fine...I'm nervous about tonight but they're excited nerves not scared nerves like I used to get! Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I travel the uk on my own visiting clubs x have always had a friendly welcome even though I may not have fully liked the place in the end x ive a list in my profile x
Yeah, but you special Densol xx"
He he thank you kind sir x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't be nervous, I was like you and did exactly the same thing putting it on here...it's nerve wrecking the first time but honestly I've not looked back...I'm going to a club I've not been to tonight and meeting a couple there, I've found that the owners of the clubs and even people around look after you as a single woman which is brilliant...knock the nerves on the head and take the plunge, you won't regret it...if you were closer I would've asked you to come to partners tonight with me but unfortunately you're a bit out the way...try finding another single fem in your area that feels the same...when I put my thread on about being nervous to go to a club, I got a couple of single female friends offering to go with me...even met one of the gorgeous women again and attended another club with her...and plan to conquer more! Haha! Make club friends or plan to meet people there and you'll be fine...I'm nervous about tonight but they're excited nerves not scared nerves like I used to get! Good luck! "
That's me! That's me Sofias talking about! Seriously there are fems out there that understand what you are going through. We need to look after each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been to few clubs now and still get a bit nervous, but like most others have said, people are generally really friendly. I can't see you having any trouble making friends, you are gorgeous, just wish I was a few years younger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first club visit was alone and I've been on my own a few times since. I can honestly say I've always been made to feel very welcome and wouldn't hesitate to go alone xx |
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"Don't be nervous, I was like you and did exactly the same thing putting it on here...it's nerve wrecking the first time but honestly I've not looked back...I'm going to a club I've not been to tonight and meeting a couple there, I've found that the owners of the clubs and even people around look after you as a single woman which is brilliant...knock the nerves on the head and take the plunge, you won't regret it...if you were closer I would've asked you to come to partners tonight with me but unfortunately you're a bit out the way...try finding another single fem in your area that feels the same...when I put my thread on about being nervous to go to a club, I got a couple of single female friends offering to go with me...even met one of the gorgeous women again and attended another club with her...and plan to conquer more! Haha! Make club friends or plan to meet people there and you'll be fine...I'm nervous about tonight but they're excited nerves not scared nerves like I used to get! Good luck!
That's me! That's me Sofias talking about! Seriously there are fems out there that understand what you are going through. We need to look after each other "
It is indeed you I'm talking about sexy! I'm very very glad I posted that thread about being nervous to go to a club otherwise I'd never have met you, fucked you, had the chance to meet you again, get you in a room, lock the door and do whatever I wanted with your gorgeous body, made a new friend with HUGE benefits and probably wouldn't have ended up going to a club as I'd have been too much of a wimp to go alone! Haha! The forums good for some things eh! |
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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"To be honest we like clubs with quiet areas so we can talk and get to know people
Xtasia has the chill out area too. Just some really quiet back ground music. So if you don't like the music (or singing on karaoke night) that is the place to be. Comfortable too.
your idea of really quiet and ours differ somewhat lol"
The chill out area at xtasia is the upstairs lounge that is pretty much as quiet as the playrooms but with some speakers in the corner playing a bit of background music. You can quite happily talk in that room. It is a room for people to be able to leave the main dance area and not have to go to the play rooms. It is actually a very social area. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"IM confused what the op is scared about?
are you scared to walk into a friendly pub?
social night in a club is just the same..."
this is the point that I say to men who always ask for some sort of "handholder" to go to a club.....
to me to be honest... if you are adult enough to be on the site,
and adult enough to set up a profile, and adult enough to talk to people,
you are adult enough to walk though a set of doors into a club.....
if you are not a sociable person and dont talk to people... then clubs and socials are probably not for you |
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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
As people have said. Just treat a club like a pub. Yes there is a chance you may get approached, a polite no thank you is all that is needed. Should someone not respond to a no thank you then you tell management as people who do not understand the word no are the people they do not want in their club. You can do as much or as little as you want in a club. You are in full control. So really do not worry.
Yes we both get a few nerves at the doors of a new club but they are also fun nerves too.
At least fab does not delete forums so after you have been to a club you can read this back and laugh thinking "what was I worried about"
My only reget about clubs was that I did not start earlier. There were nights when we were at home wondering what to do. Now we know
A club is also safer then most pubs as the majority of clubs have the personal details of all the members and are age verified. In our times at clubs we have never seen a fight or trouble like you can get in a pub.
Just go for it. You will be in a safe environment where you are the person who decides what you drink, what you wear, if you play, if you get up on the floor to dance. . . . EVERYTHING.
So rather then be getting nervous you should get on the reviews page and see WHAT club you are going to try and not IF you should go to a club.
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