FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Swingers, you have a problem!
Swingers, you have a problem!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We had a convo with a chap who turned out to be uncomfortable with male to male contact. Not talking bi or gay contact but the normal contact in dp, MFM, etc. Ok, personal preference. (cliche no. 1)
We said we would move on and it all seemed amicable until, in his parting shot, he said I had problem because I "let other men fuck my lady".
Which part of Fab-SWINGERS do some not understand? Do you good folk feel you have a "problem" because you like your partner to express their sexuality and enjoy other people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A guy said this to me too, thankfully we didn't meet (Mrs) although we were chatting for a while. He was fascinated with the fantasy of group sex and I was discussing a night out where a lady had 5 guys and he said 'skank, that's gross' his justification was that in porn it was sexy, if people actually do it it's all too real.
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"We had a convo with a chap who turned out to be uncomfortable with male to male contact. Not talking bi or gay contact but the normal contact in dp, MFM, etc. Ok, personal preference. (cliche no. 1)
We said we would move on and it all seemed amicable until, in his parting shot, he said I had problem because I "let other men fuck my lady".
Which part of Fab-SWINGERS do some not understand? Do you good folk feel you have a "problem" because you like your partner to express their sexuality and enjoy other people?"
Oh dear, I think he's what's medically classified as a nutter.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hey this also happens with single women...the straight ones who cannot understand they can meet the same sex and not have actual sexual encounters with them...
When I've had two women, who were straight..I never in the slightest thought they needed to do some lesbo-bi stuff for me..I was pretty much happy at them both sucking my cock from each side  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hey this also happens with single women...the straight ones who cannot understand they can meet the same sex and not have actual sexual encounters with them...
When I've had two women, who were straight..I never in the slightest thought they needed to do some lesbo-bi stuff for me..I was pretty much happy at them both sucking my cock from each side "
Can you bring them London next time please?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP the guys attitude isn't uncommon. I've seen several remarks over the years in forums from guys and ladies, saying exactly the same thing. Clearly some people can't understand the concept of swinging. One guy said the husbands were inadequate on here 
Thankfully never met anyone like this ourselves though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP the guys attitude isn't uncommon. I've seen several remarks over the years in forums from guys and ladies, saying exactly the same thing. Clearly some people can't understand the concept of swinging. One guy said the husbands were inadequate on here
Thankfully never met anyone like this ourselves though. "
We wondered if he was using Fab as a free dating site? He had veris but when chatting about seeing a couple it was a cuck experience. The husband sat in the corner.
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP the guys attitude isn't uncommon. I've seen several remarks over the years in forums from guys and ladies, saying exactly the same thing. Clearly some people can't understand the concept of swinging. One guy said the husbands were inadequate on here
Thankfully never met anyone like this ourselves though.
We wondered if he was using Fab as a free dating site? He had veris but when chatting about seeing a couple it was a cuck experience. The husband sat in the corner.
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
"
I am surprised that you didn't realise these types of people exist. Lots think like that. They let slip their attitudes at some point.
This is what I mean when I say some single people ARE swingers. They understand and have the right attitude. Some don't...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP the guys attitude isn't uncommon. I've seen several remarks over the years in forums from guys and ladies, saying exactly the same thing. Clearly some people can't understand the concept of swinging. One guy said the husbands were inadequate on here
Thankfully never met anyone like this ourselves though. "
We do try and "vet" potential players carefully for this reason. Some guy standing in the corner disgusted at what we are doing is not condusive to having fun.
Thankfully the vetting worked on this occasion. Kat has however had a guy she saw as a single in the past call her a "Fab whore". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex FB had this same attitude. After each group session he'd always say to me 'but I wouldnt do that with my real girlfriend' It was like he was justifying it in his head. It eventually split us up when he said I was sleeping with too many women and therefore out of control. (I'm a swinger ffs is that supposed to be a problem lol)
Some people just don't get the lifestyle. (or are fucktards) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP the guys attitude isn't uncommon. I've seen several remarks over the years in forums from guys and ladies, saying exactly the same thing. Clearly some people can't understand the concept of swinging. One guy said the husbands were inadequate on here
Thankfully never met anyone like this ourselves though.
We wondered if he was using Fab as a free dating site? He had veris but when chatting about seeing a couple it was a cuck experience. The husband sat in the corner.
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
I am surprised that you didn't realise these types of people exist. Lots think like that. They let slip their attitudes at some point.
This is what I mean when I say some single people ARE swingers. They understand and have the right attitude. Some don't... "
We knew they existed, but what is funny is he joins a swingers site and is then disparaging about the members. How does he feel after a meet? Like he has visited an prostitute? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of the say 20,000 profiles online every night, how many do you think are actually 'swingers' ?
I have no hard n fast facts, but I would guess it was less than 50 %
The majority cannot comprehend the site is just another meeting point for those who enjoy a liberated sexual lifestyle : they just see it as an opportunity to secure themselves some sex that is free and regular and diverse in its content, or a partner.
Then reality bites.
How many on here have ever been to a club ? How many on here have ever been to a social ? How many on here would ever do either ?
How many on here are established couple profiles ?
How many on here would continue to 'swing' if they were in a relationship ?
That's not saying that a single can't be a swingle (cos I know many are), but again, my suspicion is that many singles are here to shag or date, not swing.
'Swinging' is a means to an end for them, not an acceptance of a lifestyle
That is where the difference in mindsets comes into play.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people just don't get what swinging is about , luckily we've only encountered that attitude once, and it was just on the messages stage so didn't get any further ! but we've seen this type of comments on the forums too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP the guys attitude isn't uncommon. I've seen several remarks over the years in forums from guys and ladies, saying exactly the same thing. Clearly some people can't understand the concept of swinging. One guy said the husbands were inadequate on here
Thankfully never met anyone like this ourselves though.
We wondered if he was using Fab as a free dating site? He had veris but when chatting about seeing a couple it was a cuck experience. The husband sat in the corner.
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
I am surprised that you didn't realise these types of people exist. Lots think like that. They let slip their attitudes at some point.
This is what I mean when I say some single people ARE swingers. They understand and have the right attitude. Some don't...
We knew they existed, but what is funny is he joins a swingers site and is then disparaging about the members. How does he feel after a meet? Like he has visited an prostitute?"
A lot use people like free prostitutes.... No doubt he feels superior. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
We knew they existed, but what is funny is he joins a swingers site and is then disparaging about the members. How does he feel after a meet? Like he has visited an prostitute?
A lot use people like free prostitutes.... No doubt he feels superior. "
Sad but true.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At least by chatting to him you ed him out prior to a meet.
Definately some "issues" with him "
Absolutely true but in his blind arrogance it is the Members who have the problem not him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My ex FB had this same attitude. After each group session he'd always say to me 'but I wouldnt do that with my real girlfriend' It was like he was justifying it in his head. It eventually split us up when he said I was sleeping with too many women and therefore out of control. (I'm a swinger ffs is that supposed to be a problem lol)
Some people just don't get the lifestyle. (or are fucktards)"
We understand not getting the lifestyle but why join a site dedicated to swinging and then sit in judgement? (Fuctards!!?  )
We think of sex as a very pleasant pass time. We attach no great importance to it as a measure of emotional commitment yet society views this so differently and they come into our home to criticise us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (Mr J) tend to meet single guys for a coffee & a chat before a meet is arranged involving Mrs J. Just to get a feel for the guy's personality.
A few years ago I met a guy who seemed agreeable at first but then called me nuts as I let other guys fuck my wife & then went on to say it was something he would NEVER allow!!
Needless to say that was the end of any possibility of meeting for fun.
His mindset was so far from a swinger that he could not even imagine why I wrote & told him we would not be meeting him.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have had this attitude from guys we have turned down.
And sadly we have also had it from a guy we have met....
Demanded that he meet Gal alone after our second meet...like he was in charge!!
Wanker.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
"
And this is the exact reason we haven't done MMF yet. Seeing her with another guy isn't a problem but I'd need to know he understood the dynamics, I'm in no way a cuck and I'd need to call the shots, if we met a guy like this I'd end up wanting to punch his lights out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
And this is the exact reason we haven't done MMF yet. Seeing her with another guy isn't a problem but I'd need to know he understood the dynamics, I'm in no way a cuck and I'd need to call the shots, if we met a guy like this I'd end up wanting to punch his lights out."
and that IS another problem...calling the shots?
some couples also need to understand that swinging is a SHARING experience of each persons OWN attributes(mental and physical.
In my thinking if I heard something about "I'll call the shots"(or indeed something that sounds where it could sound threatening), I give the profile a wide berth...
perhaps ur lack of MMF experience, horror stories has led u to beliiveve this is how to act in the swinging world..its only urselves in the long run when eventually looking for that elusive single man,that u will have many failed potential meet ups..
and thats no matter how hot ur wife is..
swinging is about being friendly, it appears its an art that is getting lost by many groups on fab....and the ability to communicate in non-offensive manners sometimes shocks me...oh...and some should grow up too and leave the dramas they bring to something else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
And this is the exact reason we haven't done MMF yet. Seeing her with another guy isn't a problem but I'd need to know he understood the dynamics, I'm in no way a cuck and I'd need to call the shots, if we met a guy like this I'd end up wanting to punch his lights out.
and that IS another problem...calling the shots?
some couples also need to understand that swinging is a SHARING experience of each persons OWN attributes(mental and physical.
In my thinking if I heard something about "I'll call the shots"(or indeed something that sounds where it could sound threatening), I give the profile a wide berth...
perhaps ur lack of MMF experience, horror stories has led u to beliiveve this is how to act in the swinging world..its only urselves in the long run when eventually looking for that elusive single man,that u will have many failed potential meet ups..
and thats no matter how hot ur wife is..
swinging is about being friendly, it appears its an art that is getting lost by many groups on fab....and the ability to communicate in non-offensive manners sometimes shocks me...oh...and some should grow up too and leave the dramas they bring to something else"
Well said, from a couple who have mutual partnerships, not power trips! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP the guys attitude isn't uncommon. I've seen several remarks over the years in forums from guys and ladies, saying exactly the same thing. Clearly some people can't understand the concept of swinging. One guy said the husbands were inadequate on here
Thankfully never met anyone like this ourselves though.
We wondered if he was using Fab as a free dating site? He had veris but when chatting about seeing a couple it was a cuck experience. The husband sat in the corner.
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
I am surprised that you didn't realise these types of people exist. Lots think like that. They let slip their attitudes at some point.
This is what I mean when I say some single people ARE swingers. They understand and have the right attitude. Some don't... "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
and that IS another problem...calling the shots?
some couples also need to understand that swinging is a SHARING experience of each persons OWN attributes(mental and physical.
In my thinking if I heard something about "I'll call the shots"(or indeed something that sounds where it could sound threatening), I give the profile a wide berth...
perhaps ur lack of MMF experience, horror stories has led u to beliiveve this is how to act in the swinging world..its only urselves in the long run when eventually looking for that elusive single man,that u will have many failed potential meet ups..
and thats no matter how hot ur wife is..
swinging is about being friendly, it appears its an art that is getting lost by many groups on fab....and the ability to communicate in non-offensive manners sometimes shocks me...oh...and some should grow up too and leave the dramas they bring to something else"
What's wrong with a guy calling the shots if the couple invite a single guy to join them?
If I let another guy drive my car I'd expect him to do it in a manner I wanted him to, and if he started driving it like an idiot, I'd take it as disrespectful.
Yes swinging is a sharing experience ,but ultimately ,the individual has the say in what happens.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
And this is the exact reason we haven't done MMF yet. Seeing her with another guy isn't a problem but I'd need to know he understood the dynamics, I'm in no way a cuck and I'd need to call the shots, if we met a guy like this I'd end up wanting to punch his lights out."
We have done a few MFM and have thankfully never had one of these fucktards in our house yet. If i saw any disrespect though I think I would feel very very annoyed. I have the very highest respect for my lady. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
and that IS another problem...calling the shots?
some couples also need to understand that swinging is a SHARING experience of each persons OWN attributes(mental and physical.
In my thinking if I heard something about "I'll call the shots"(or indeed something that sounds where it could sound threatening), I give the profile a wide berth...
perhaps ur lack of MMF experience, horror stories has led u to beliiveve this is how to act in the swinging world..its only urselves in the long run when eventually looking for that elusive single man,that u will have many failed potential meet ups..
and thats no matter how hot ur wife is..
swinging is about being friendly, it appears its an art that is getting lost by many groups on fab....and the ability to communicate in non-offensive manners sometimes shocks me...oh...and some should grow up too and leave the dramas they bring to something else
What's wrong with a guy calling the shots if the couple invite a single guy to join them?
If I let another guy drive my car I'd expect him to do it in a manner I wanted him to, and if he started driving it like an idiot, I'd take it as disrespectful.
Yes swinging is a sharing experience ,but ultimately ,the individual has the say in what happens.
"
You equate your wife to a car??
Crikey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot think you cant love your other half if you let them have sex with others ..... Its sad but some singles think that here about couples who swing. They think they are lacking in the bed- room and bored with each other some do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
and that IS another problem...calling the shots?
some couples also need to understand that swinging is a SHARING experience of each persons OWN attributes(mental and physical.
In my thinking if I heard something about "I'll call the shots"(or indeed something that sounds where it could sound threatening), I give the profile a wide berth...
perhaps ur lack of MMF experience, horror stories has led u to beliiveve this is how to act in the swinging world..its only urselves in the long run when eventually looking for that elusive single man,that u will have many failed potential meet ups..
and thats no matter how hot ur wife is..
swinging is about being friendly, it appears its an art that is getting lost by many groups on fab....and the ability to communicate in non-offensive manners sometimes shocks me...oh...and some should grow up too and leave the dramas they bring to something else
What's wrong with a guy calling the shots if the couple invite a single guy to join them?
If I let another guy drive my car I'd expect him to do it in a manner I wanted him to, and if he started driving it like an idiot, I'd take it as disrespectful.
Yes swinging is a sharing experience ,but ultimately ,the individual has the say in what happens.
You equate your wife to a car??
Crikey."
Nope, it's an analogy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A lot think you cant love your other half if you let them have sex with others ..... Its sad but some singles think that here about couples who swing. They think they are lacking in the bed- room and bored with each other some do."
That about sums it up perfectly! Some cannot stand back from society's and religious indoctrination and view sex as a pleasant passtime and not the ultimate measure of love, respect and affection. |
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"
The slightly disturbing matter is you can invite a man like that to join you and during your play he is thinking the lady is a slut and the man a fool. He would be better on E Harmony.
And this is the exact reason we haven't done MMF yet. Seeing her with another guy isn't a problem but I'd need to know he understood the dynamics, I'm in no way a cuck and I'd need to call the shots, if we met a guy like this I'd end up wanting to punch his lights out."
Ditto |
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"A lot think you cant love your other half if you let them have sex with others ..... Its sad but some singles think that here about couples who swing. They think they are lacking in the bed- room and bored with each other some do."
Those are the ones that on our opinion have no understanding or concept of what swinging is. Those are generally the exact people we try to avoid. |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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Being real there's many many guys on these sites for 'sex'.
There is a big difference between someone coming here for sex and someone coming here for swinging.
Many many behaviors and personalities hide behind the 'swinger' title and it doesnt take mucho to work them out.
Give them a slack rope and if they hang themselves sorted, if they dont then great  |
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"We have had this attitude from guys we have turned down.
And sadly we have also had it from a guy we have met....
Demanded that he meet Gal alone after our second meet...like he was in charge!!
Wanker...."
Yep to the first, block.
Yes to the second, repeatedly, including inviting himself and Hotlips to a swingers party, as she was his in and "that sort of woman".
Happens a lot, double wankers!  |
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I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success... "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success... "
If you hold those views may I politely ask why you are on a Swingers site?
I know you two (i include cheeky) have the right, etc. etc. To be here but surely you find yourself meeting people who get involved in behaviour you do not agree with, even if you do not do it yourself.
Do you find yourself feeling uncomfortable in the company of people who do not share your views? |
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"I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success...
If you hold those views may I politely ask why you are on a Swingers site?
I know you two (i include cheeky) have the right, etc. etc. To be here but surely you find yourself meeting people who get involved in behaviour you do not agree with, even if you do not do it yourself.
Do you find yourself feeling uncomfortable in the company of people who do not share your views?"
Of course I don't feel uncomfortable being in the company of people that don't agree with me...I'm open minded to the world...I'm on fab because I like sex...I like the socials and I love the fantastic people I've met on here...I don't judge those who are on here the same as I would not expect anyone to judge me...I never said I didn't agree with the lifestyle so not sure where you got that from |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success...
If you hold those views may I politely ask why you are on a Swingers site?
I know you two (i include cheeky) have the right, etc. etc. To be here but surely you find yourself meeting people who get involved in behaviour you do not agree with, even if you do not do it yourself.
Do you find yourself feeling uncomfortable in the company of people who do not share your views?
Of course I don't feel uncomfortable being in the company of people that don't agree with me...I'm open minded to the world...I'm on fab because I like sex...I like the socials and I love the fantastic people I've met on here...I don't judge those who are on here the same as I would not expect anyone to judge me...I never said I didn't agree with the lifestyle so not sure where you got that from "
I only thought you did not agree because of youre clearly expressed personal preference. It is good however to hear you do not judge swingers as this is what many others appear to do. Thank you for your comment. |
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"I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success...
If you hold those views may I politely ask why you are on a Swingers site?
I know you two (i include cheeky) have the right, etc. etc. To be here but surely you find yourself meeting people who get involved in behaviour you do not agree with, even if you do not do it yourself.
Do you find yourself feeling uncomfortable in the company of people who do not share your views?
Of course I don't feel uncomfortable being in the company of people that don't agree with me...I'm open minded to the world...I'm on fab because I like sex...I like the socials and I love the fantastic people I've met on here...I don't judge those who are on here the same as I would not expect anyone to judge me...I never said I didn't agree with the lifestyle so not sure where you got that from
I only thought you did not agree because of youre clearly expressed personal preference. It is good however to hear you do not judge swingers as this is what many others appear to do. Thank you for your comment. "
Not sure how expressing personal preference equates to disagreeing with something...any how have fun on here and don't over think the minds of others on here...you would be here all day lol |
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"OP the guys attitude isn't uncommon. I've seen several remarks over the years in forums from guys and ladies, saying exactly the same thing. Clearly some people can't understand the concept of swinging. One guy said the husbands were inadequate on here
Thankfully never met anyone like this ourselves though. "
Us too, it's a very common attitude from men and women. We dropped.a couple like a hot when the guy said that he wouldn't want the people he met from here as friends or words to that effect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My view is that my other half is not my property, I don't control her ( couldn't if I wanted to ) and part of the excitement we've enjoyed from the swinging scene over the last two years has been sharing the nerves, thrills and orgasms as we continue along our journey of discovery.We always play together and for us its the sharing element that makes it all work. We think we are lucky. We would run a mile from anyone having the attitude that the Op describes!!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP the guys attitude isn't uncommon. I've seen several remarks over the years in forums from guys and ladies, saying exactly the same thing. Clearly some people can't understand the concept of swinging. One guy said the husbands were inadequate on here
Thankfully never met anyone like this ourselves though.
Us too, it's a very common attitude from men and women. We dropped.a couple like a hot when the guy said that he wouldn't want the people he met from here as friends or words to that effect. "
We have met some lovely people from fab. They seem more relaxed and tolerant than many others and we enjoy their company as well as the sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My view is that my other half is not my property, I don't control her ( couldn't if I wanted to ) and part of the excitement we've enjoyed from the swinging scene over the last two years has been sharing the nerves, thrills and orgasms as we continue along our journey of discovery.We always play together and for us its the sharing element that makes it all work. We think we are lucky. We would run a mile from anyone having the attitude that the Op describes!!!
"
That is our opinion in a nutshell. We do however recognise the right of others to have different views as long as they do not seek to criticise us or those like us based on the infallible correctness of their own opinion. |
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"Of the say 20,000 profiles online every night, how many do you think are actually 'swingers' ?
I have no hard n fast facts, but I would guess it was less than 50 %
The majority cannot comprehend the site is just another meeting point for those who enjoy a liberated sexual lifestyle : they just see it as an opportunity to secure themselves some sex that is free and regular and diverse in its content, or a partner.
Then reality bites.
How many on here have ever been to a club ? How many on here have ever been to a social ? How many on here would ever do either ?
How many on here are established couple profiles ?
How many on here would continue to 'swing' if they were in a relationship ?
That's not saying that a single can't be a swingle (cos I know many are), but again, my suspicion is that many singles are here to shag or date, not swing.
'Swinging' is a means to an end for them, not an acceptance of a lifestyle
That is where the difference in mindsets comes into play.
"
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"Some people just don't get what swinging is about , luckily we've only encountered that attitude once, and it was just on the messages stage so didn't get any further ! but we've seen this type of comments on the forums too."
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"and that IS another problem...calling the shots?
some couples also need to understand that swinging is a SHARING experience of each persons OWN attributes(mental and physical.
In my thinking if I heard something about "I'll call the shots"(or indeed something that sounds where it could sound threatening), I give the profile a wide berth...
perhaps ur lack of MMF experience, horror stories has led u to beliiveve this is how to act in the swinging world..its only urselves in the long run when eventually looking for that elusive single man,that u will have many failed potential meet ups..
and thats no matter how hot ur wife is..
swinging is about being friendly, it appears its an art that is getting lost by many groups on fab....and the ability to communicate in non-offensive manners sometimes shocks me...oh...and some should grow up too and leave the dramas they bring to something else
What's wrong with a guy calling the shots if the couple invite a single guy to join them?
If I let another guy drive my car I'd expect him to do it in a manner I wanted him to, and if he started driving it like an idiot, I'd take it as disrespectful.
Yes swinging is a sharing experience ,but ultimately ,the individual has the say in what happens.
You equate your wife to a car??
Crikey.
Nope, it's an analogy"
Yes, and a very bad one. People are not objects or property. That, however, usefully leads me to my next point:
The problem with the male of a couple "calling the shots" is that single men are not here at your beck and call.
Obviously us single men need to be respectful of a couples wishes and boundaries but we're not here to be ordered around. I would hope men on here have more self respect that that. |
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Think Respect is the word! We are a very tight/ close couple who enjoy swinging togetha and all that brings... Are some things in the swinging/ sex world that we don't get or indulge in. However we respect others! And wouldn't question or bitch about it.. Don't think anyone here needs justify their exsistance ,we cirtainly don't . We are here for fun! Easy and simple... Met some great people and had many a good time.. Spose the bottom line is, just cos we have swinging in common, it don't mean everyone is gonna be a nice person.. By some accounts there are some strange people lurking about... Thats life! And thankfully we have yet to meet such people  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My view is that my other half is not my property, I don't control her ( couldn't if I wanted to ) and part of the excitement we've enjoyed from the swinging scene over the last two years has been sharing the nerves, thrills and orgasms as we continue along our journey of discovery.We always play together and for us its the sharing element that makes it all work. We think we are lucky. We would run a mile from anyone having the attitude that the Op describes!!!
"
Ditto xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success... "
From what you describe I think you do 'get' swinging, even though you don't call yourself a swinger.
I don't think swinging is just 2 couples swapping partners. It's that and also can be any combination of 3somes, groups, clubs, parties, full swap, soft swap. Some like the social side, some prefer fuck n go. I think that whatever people are into it's good- as long as they are happy. |
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"I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success...
From what you describe I think you do 'get' swinging, even though you don't call yourself a swinger.
I don't think swinging is just 2 couples swapping partners. It's that and also can be any combination of 3somes, groups, clubs, parties, full swap, soft swap. Some like the social side, some prefer fuck n go. I think that whatever people are into it's good- as long as they are happy. "
I totally agree.... |
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"I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success...
From what you describe I think you do 'get' swinging, even though you don't call yourself a swinger.
I don't think swinging is just 2 couples swapping partners. It's that and also can be any combination of 3somes, groups, clubs, parties, full swap, soft swap. Some like the social side, some prefer fuck n go. I think that whatever people are into it's good- as long as they are happy.
I totally agree.... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't call myself a swinger...I don't meet couples, I don't meet multiple men at the same time...I just like to meet like minded people with a bit of sex and banter thrown in...I do think you need to be in the right mind frame to allow and see your partner getting fucked by someone..I do believe in cases this scene can make or break a couple...I do believe communication is key to success... "
Top top comment x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find so many single men and women on here are looking for the wrong things a quick shag or a date type night out which muddies the water for genuine swingers  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Nope, it's an analogy
Yes, and a very bad one. People are not objects or property. That, however, usefully leads me to my next point:
The problem with the male of a couple "calling the shots" is that single men are not here at your beck and call.
Obviously us single men need to be respectful of a couples wishes and boundaries but we're not here to be ordered around. I would hope men on here have more self respect that that."
Did I say anything about expecting anyone to be at our beck and call? No.
Did I say one person is another's object or property? No.
I do however think that if a loving couple invite a single (man or woman) to join them, then it's their porogative to call the shots.
Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Nope, it's an analogy
Yes, and a very bad one. People are not objects or property. That, however, usefully leads me to my next point:
The problem with the male of a couple "calling the shots" is that single men are not here at your beck and call.
Obviously us single men need to be respectful of a couples wishes and boundaries but we're not here to be ordered around. I would hope men on here have more self respect that that.
Did I say anything about expecting anyone to be at our beck and call? No.
Did I say one person is another's object or property? No.
I do however think that if a loving couple invite a single (man or woman) to join them, then it's their porogative to call the shots.
Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping."
Im afraid I disagree totally. I don't want anyone to feel they should be grateful for being invited in to our bed, or like a second class citizen, or to have to follow behind like an obedient dog because we're calling the shots.
Having never invited a guy into your relationship you've no experience to go at But I fear your destined to have a less satisfying experience if you 'own' the situation. How do you expect a man to relax and get the best of one another if it's all about you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Nope, it's an analogy
Yes, and a very bad one. People are not objects or property. That, however, usefully leads me to my next point:
The problem with the male of a couple "calling the shots" is that single men are not here at your beck and call.
Obviously us single men need to be respectful of a couples wishes and boundaries but we're not here to be ordered around. I would hope men on here have more self respect that that.
Did I say anything about expecting anyone to be at our beck and call? No.
Did I say one person is another's object or property? No.
I do however think that if a loving couple invite a single (man or woman) to join them, then it's their porogative to call the shots.
Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping.
Im afraid I disagree totally. I don't want anyone to feel they should be grateful for being invited in to our bed, or like a second class citizen, or to have to follow behind like an obedient dog because we're calling the shots.
Having never invited a guy into your relationship you've no experience to go at But I fear your destined to have a less satisfying experience if you 'own' the situation. How do you expect a man to relax and get the best of one another if it's all about you?"
|
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"Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping."
Oh the irony... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm happy to not be labelled a swinger. I'm happy to be called someone who just wants a shag. I get what couples get out of swinging, because I get the same out of shagging as a single person. I don't want to date,which is why I'm on a site with swinger in its title and not dating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping.
Oh the irony... "
The irony is mate, according to your veris ,you've only had one couple meet, so if your actively looking for them, maybe there's something amiss with your approach. |
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"I'm happy to not be labelled a swinger. I'm happy to be called someone who just wants a shag. I get what couples get out of swinging, because I get the same out of shagging as a single person. I don't want to date,which is why I'm on a site with swinger in its title and not dating "
I'm happy just to not be labelled.
As an aside badnana I keep seeing teh banana cake thread and thinking it's about you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Nope, it's an analogy
Yes, and a very bad one. People are not objects or property. That, however, usefully leads me to my next point:
The problem with the male of a couple "calling the shots" is that single men are not here at your beck and call.
Obviously us single men need to be respectful of a couples wishes and boundaries but we're not here to be ordered around. I would hope men on here have more self respect that that.
Did I say anything about expecting anyone to be at our beck and call? No.
Did I say one person is another's object or property? No.
I do however think that if a loving couple invite a single (man or woman) to join them, then it's their porogative to call the shots.
Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping."
If anyone is wondering why some single women won't meet couples.........................
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"Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping.
Oh the irony...
The irony is mate, according to your veris ,you've only had one couple meet, so if your actively looking for them, maybe there's something amiss with your approach."
Impressively fast upgrade from arrogance to resorting to personal attack; 6.7 from the Russian Judge and perhaps a new personal best?
In your desperation to deflect blame you seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that this is the only swinging site in existence or that clubs don't exist. I've met far more couples and singles through clubs and other sites than from on here. |
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"
Nope, it's an analogy
Yes, and a very bad one. People are not objects or property. That, however, usefully leads me to my next point:
The problem with the male of a couple "calling the shots" is that single men are not here at your beck and call.
Obviously us single men need to be respectful of a couples wishes and boundaries but we're not here to be ordered around. I would hope men on here have more self respect that that.
Did I say anything about expecting anyone to be at our beck and call? No.
Did I say one person is another's object or property? No.
I do however think that if a loving couple invite a single (man or woman) to join them, then it's their porogative to call the shots.
Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping.
Im afraid I disagree totally. I don't want anyone to feel they should be grateful for being invited in to our bed, or like a second class citizen, or to have to follow behind like an obedient dog because we're calling the shots.
Having never invited a guy into your relationship you've no experience to go at But I fear your destined to have a less satisfying experience if you 'own' the situation. How do you expect a man to relax and get the best of one another if it's all about you?"
Hear, hear! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" he said I had problem because I "let other men fuck my lady".
"
What a wank stain
It is makes us laugh when we hear things like this
Its Sooooooo bitter grapes!
We had a similar experience where we turned a guy down for a meet and he launched into a speech about Pip being a fat ugly slag who he wouldnt fuck anyway and we were both manky bastards who'd shag anyone,( except him obviously) and he'd smash my head in if he met me ..wouldnt mind we turned him down because he was 5 ft 4 lol.
What another wank stain .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've found the "I'll fuck your wife/partner but I'd never let anyone fuck mine!" attitude is a lot more prevalent with singles than people realise.
It's one of the reason's we stopped meeting single guys, women can be just as bad, if not worse too.
Definitely not the attitude you expect swingers to have.
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm happy to not be labelled a swinger. I'm happy to be called someone who just wants a shag. I get what couples get out of swinging, because I get the same out of shagging as a single person. I don't want to date,which is why I'm on a site with swinger in its title and not dating
I'm happy just to not be labelled.
As an aside badnana I keep seeing teh banana cake thread and thinking it's about you "
might change my name to banana cake, do you think it will put men off me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We've found the "I'll fuck your wife/partner but I'd never let anyone fuck mine!" attitude is a lot more prevalent with singles than people realise.
It's one of the reason's we stopped meeting single guys, women can be just as bad, if not worse too.
Definitely not the attitude you expect swingers to have.
XXXX"
It could be why they are single? Be thankful you have partners who are comfortable with swapping or letting someone else take your place. Just because others aren't doesn't mean they are bad people |
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"I'm happy to not be labelled a swinger. I'm happy to be called someone who just wants a shag. I get what couples get out of swinging, because I get the same out of shagging as a single person. I don't want to date,which is why I'm on a site with swinger in its title and not dating
I'm happy just to not be labelled.
As an aside badnana I keep seeing teh banana cake thread and thinking it's about you
might change my name to banana cake, do you think it will put men off me? "
Nooo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm happy to not be labelled a swinger. I'm happy to be called someone who just wants a shag. I get what couples get out of swinging, because I get the same out of shagging as a single person. I don't want to date,which is why I'm on a site with swinger in its title and not dating
I'm happy just to not be labelled.
As an aside badnana I keep seeing teh banana cake thread and thinking it's about you
might change my name to banana cake, do you think it will put men off me?
Nooo "
let's put it to practice |
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"I'm happy to not be labelled a swinger. I'm happy to be called someone who just wants a shag. I get what couples get out of swinging, because I get the same out of shagging as a single person. I don't want to date,which is why I'm on a site with swinger in its title and not dating
I'm happy just to not be labelled.
As an aside badnana I keep seeing teh banana cake thread and thinking it's about you
might change my name to banana cake, do you think it will put men off me?
Nooo
let's put it to practice "
I will be interested in the results but a rose by any other name |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm happy to not be labelled a swinger. I'm happy to be called someone who just wants a shag. I get what couples get out of swinging, because I get the same out of shagging as a single person. I don't want to date,which is why I'm on a site with swinger in its title and not dating
I'm happy just to not be labelled.
As an aside badnana I keep seeing teh banana cake thread and thinking it's about you
might change my name to banana cake, do you think it will put men off me?
Nooo
let's put it to practice
I will be interested in the results but a rose by any other name "
still smells like banana |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping.
Oh the irony...
The irony is mate, according to your veris ,you've only had one couple meet, so if your actively looking for them, maybe there's something amiss with your approach.
Impressively fast upgrade from arrogance to resorting to personal attack; 6.7 from the Russian Judge and perhaps a new personal best?
In your desperation to deflect blame you seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that this is the only swinging site in existence or that clubs don't exist. I've met far more couples and singles through clubs and other sites than from on here."
It was an observation rather than a personal attack.
My point is that ,if a single person is being invited into a threesome scenario, the single should respect the wishes of the couple. Everyone is here for their own reasons, which is ultimately ,gratification, a single only has themselves to gratify, a couple need to gratify both.
Just because our opinion differs from yours, doesn't mean it's wrong, each to their own and all that.
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect. |
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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
"I'm happy to not be labelled a swinger. I'm happy to be called someone who just wants a shag. I get what couples get out of swinging, because I get the same out of shagging as a single person. I don't want to date,which is why I'm on a site with swinger in its title and not dating "
Well said! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect."
Sooooo :
Either he has to ask in chat beforehand what those boundaries are, get a tick list of what he can and can't do, or
Every time he wants to change position or doing something different, he gas to stop,ask and get permission to continue ?
Sexy ! |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping.
Oh the irony...
The irony is mate, according to your veris ,you've only had one couple meet, so if your actively looking for them, maybe there's something amiss with your approach.
Impressively fast upgrade from arrogance to resorting to personal attack; 6.7 from the Russian Judge and perhaps a new personal best?
In your desperation to deflect blame you seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that this is the only swinging site in existence or that clubs don't exist. I've met far more couples and singles through clubs and other sites than from on here.
It was an observation rather than a personal attack.
My point is that ,if a single person is being invited into a threesome scenario, the single should respect the wishes of the couple. Everyone is here for their own reasons, which is ultimately ,gratification, a single only has themselves to gratify, a couple need to gratify both.
Just because our opinion differs from yours, doesn't mean it's wrong, each to their own and all that.
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect."
I'm sorry, but fuck that! I know you're referring to single guys, but I'd be off quicker than a rat up a drainpipe with that sort of attitude from a couple... I'll qualify that by saying I rarely meet couples unless in a club where instant gratification may be more the norm, but if I (as the lowly single) had to ask for everything first it'd be a non starter for me...I've refrained from commenting so far but I just had to pop in on that one... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect.
Sooooo :
Either he has to ask in chat beforehand what those boundaries are, get a tick list of what he can and can't do, or
Every time he wants to change position or doing something different, he gas to stop,ask and get permission to continue ?
Sexy ! "
That's not what they were saying....
They were saying boundaries/ limits are set before hand so everyone knows limits....
Nothing was mentioned about changing positions or doing anything different...
Your replys to posts always seem aggressive, no need x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have met with a married couple who I know well. Out of respect for my friend I asked what is ok for me to do with him. Before we met we all new what were the no nos |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your attitude ,in my opinion, smacks of arrogance . Your bringing less to the table than the couple, a lot would argue that as a single, you're not a swinger because you're not swapping.
Oh the irony...
The irony is mate, according to your veris ,you've only had one couple meet, so if your actively looking for them, maybe there's something amiss with your approach.
Impressively fast upgrade from arrogance to resorting to personal attack; 6.7 from the Russian Judge and perhaps a new personal best?
In your desperation to deflect blame you seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that this is the only swinging site in existence or that clubs don't exist. I've met far more couples and singles through clubs and other sites than from on here.
It was an observation rather than a personal attack.
My point is that ,if a single person is being invited into a threesome scenario, the single should respect the wishes of the couple. Everyone is here for their own reasons, which is ultimately ,gratification, a single only has themselves to gratify, a couple need to gratify both.
Just because our opinion differs from yours, doesn't mean it's wrong, each to their own and all that.
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect."
If we invite a single guy to meet is he is not our puppet, we expect him to get just as much out of the meet than we do, it's called a 3-sum, means all 3 of us should get something out of it and the single guy shouldn't be grateful that he's had a shag!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect.
Sooooo :
Either he has to ask in chat beforehand what those boundaries are, get a tick list of what he can and can't do, or
Every time he wants to change position or doing something different, he gas to stop,ask and get permission to continue ?
Sexy !
That's not what they were saying....
They were saying boundaries/ limits are set before hand so everyone knows limits....
Nothing was mentioned about changing positions or doing anything different...
Your replys to posts always seem aggressive, no need x"
Exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect.
Sooooo :
Either he has to ask in chat beforehand what those boundaries are, get a tick list of what he can and can't do, or
Every time he wants to change position or doing something different, he gas to stop,ask and get permission to continue ?
Sexy !
That's not what they were saying....
They were saying boundaries/ limits are set before hand so everyone knows limits....
Nothing was mentioned about changing positions or doing anything different...
Your replys to posts always seem aggressive, no need x"
Actually if you read the posts it very much comes across as the singles are viewed as accessories to his desires, not much mention of the wife really, just that he calls the shots. There is mention of respect but it's only one way respect, the single respecting the couple.
As a couple we'd never treat people like their needs are less relevant. If I were single their attitude would totally put me off couples if viewed in isolation from those who play because they enjoy mutual pleasure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect.
Sooooo :
Either he has to ask in chat beforehand what those boundaries are, get a tick list of what he can and can't do, or
Every time he wants to change position or doing something different, he gas to stop,ask and get permission to continue ?
Sexy !
That's not what they were saying....
They were saying boundaries/ limits are set before hand so everyone knows limits....
Nothing was mentioned about changing positions or doing anything different...
Your replys to posts always seem aggressive, no need x"
Neither is sexy, tho I see some credence in the first
Out of all the posts in this thread and indeed on this forum in general, it is us that you single out as aggressive ?
Really ?
Pussycats the pair of us |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect.
Sooooo :
Either he has to ask in chat beforehand what those boundaries are, get a tick list of what he can and can't do, or
Every time he wants to change position or doing something different, he gas to stop,ask and get permission to continue ?
Sexy !
That's not what they were saying....
They were saying boundaries/ limits are set before hand so everyone knows limits....
Nothing was mentioned about changing positions or doing anything different...
Your replys to posts always seem aggressive, no need x"
I read it same as JNSP (see my response)...I agree hard boundaries beforehand with anyone I meet (not that I've got too many)...I also took exception to a couple of Dempsey and Hotpiece's responses on the thread just didn't bother to respond to them...the bit that says "unless he asks if it's ok first" kinda indicates asking prior to sticking your head between the Missus' legs to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect.
Sooooo :
Either he has to ask in chat beforehand what those boundaries are, get a tick list of what he can and can't do, or
Every time he wants to change position or doing something different, he gas to stop,ask and get permission to continue ?
Sexy !
That's not what they were saying....
They were saying boundaries/ limits are set before hand so everyone knows limits....
Nothing was mentioned about changing positions or doing anything different...
Your replys to posts always seem aggressive, no need x
Actually if you read the posts it very much comes across as the singles are viewed as accessories to his desires, not much mention of the wife really, just that he calls the shots. There is mention of respect but it's only one way respect, the single respecting the couple.
As a couple we'd never treat people like their needs are less relevant. If I were single their attitude would totally put me off couples if viewed in isolation from those who play because they enjoy mutual pleasure."
Nope, we always treat people we meet with respect and don't view them as an accessory to our desires.
Swinging for us is about getting equal satisfaction, otherwise we'd not do it.
We've had a meet with a single fem and it was fantastic, not just for us but for her to. We discused before hand what we were all comfortable with. We'd expect the same with a single guy.
This isn't about using a guy and telling him what to do, it's about him respecting our wishes and if he didn't like that, he can walk. The op was about a guy who didn't understand the concept of a couple inviting a single into the mix but was ok getting his own kicks if they let him, my point was I'd never let that happen, because I ,along with my partner, wouldn't let it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If/when we meet a single guy, I'd expect him to keep within our boundaries , and that means not trying to do something unless he asks if it's ok first, basic respect.
Sooooo :
Either he has to ask in chat beforehand what those boundaries are, get a tick list of what he can and can't do, or
Every time he wants to change position or doing something different, he gas to stop,ask and get permission to continue ?
Sexy !
That's not what they were saying....
They were saying boundaries/ limits are set before hand so everyone knows limits....
Nothing was mentioned about changing positions or doing anything different...
Your replys to posts always seem aggressive, no need x
Actually if you read the posts it very much comes across as the singles are viewed as accessories to his desires, not much mention of the wife really, just that he calls the shots. There is mention of respect but it's only one way respect, the single respecting the couple.
As a couple we'd never treat people like their needs are less relevant. If I were single their attitude would totally put me off couples if viewed in isolation from those who play because they enjoy mutual pleasure.
Nope, we always treat people we meet with respect and don't view them as an accessory to our desires.
Swinging for us is about getting equal satisfaction, otherwise we'd not do it.
We've had a meet with a single fem and it was fantastic, not just for us but for her to. We discused before hand what we were all comfortable with. We'd expect the same with a single guy.
This isn't about using a guy and telling him what to do, it's about him respecting our wishes and if he didn't like that, he can walk. The op was about a guy who didn't understand the concept of a couple inviting a single into the mix but was ok getting his own kicks if they let him, my point was I'd never let that happen, because I ,along with my partner, wouldn't let it."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just came back from work, and all the responses were exactly as I thought they would be...
my original response, indeed highlighted how I term "calling the shots" as something I have found tiresome in my several years swinging as a single and as a couple.....
things are discussed not dictated.
and in all honestly most of my meets have been with couples/groups, rarely have i found that many meets that the male half has to call any shots, his wife is perfectly capable of communicating her wants.
I really dont mean to sound personal at all OP, I enjoy the company of the male half and love a good laugh/chat..but if I get the inkling I'm some lesser part of the experience...its a turn off for me...and that can even be before the meet takers place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just came back from work, and all the responses were exactly as I thought they would be...
my original response, indeed highlighted how I term "calling the shots" as something I have found tiresome in my several years swinging as a single and as a couple.....
things are discussed not dictated.
and in all honestly most of my meets have been with couples/groups, rarely have i found that many meets that the male half has to call any shots, his wife is perfectly capable of communicating her wants.
I really dont mean to sound personal at all OP, I enjoy the company of the male half and love a good laugh/chat..but if I get the inkling I'm some lesser part of the experience...its a turn off for me...and that can even be before the meet takers place."
this x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OMG.
How far from the OP can you get by twisting every word that anybody writes to get an adverse reaction!!!
The original post was referring to a single that did not, and never will understand the concept of a couple that swings.
From there it went from a couple pointing out "they call the shots" which the reality is "is fact".
Not in the controlling factor that has been suggested and jumped upon
But rather in the safety and enjoyment aspect.
if any couple disagrees that their main priority is the safety and happiness of their partner in the said situation then I would have to question their motives for being on here in the first place. Thus why the couple calls the shot (hypothetically).
Then it moved onto the singles fighting their corners as to how important and needed they are.
As a couple that has met many couples, many singles and attended many clubs, parties and socials.
Should all people on this site not be shown the same respect and consideration as the next.
"As long as the give the same in return" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OMG.
How far from the OP can you get by twisting every word that anybody writes to get an adverse reaction!!!
The original post was referring to a single that did not, and never will understand the concept of a couple that swings.
From there it went from a couple pointing out "they call the shots" which the reality is "is fact".
Not in the controlling factor that has been suggested and jumped upon
But rather in the safety and enjoyment aspect.
if any couple disagrees that their main priority is the safety and happiness of their partner in the said situation then I would have to question their motives for being on here in the first place. Thus why the couple calls the shot (hypothetically).
Then it moved onto the singles fighting their corners as to how important and needed they are.
As a couple that has met many couples, many singles and attended many clubs, parties and socials.
Should all people on this site not be shown the same respect and consideration as the next.
"As long as the give the same in return""
and thats what a forum is...free thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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*in regard to getting an 'adverse' reaction, that wasnt my intention..and of course some agreed what they felt some of the responses meant to them..regardless of their status.
One person was singled out for having a lack of experince with couples..yet it was pretty much passed by that I have a pretty good experience with couples(if they had looked), so basically what u have is is some responses dismissing others opinions based on their sexual outlook on who they consider to have a valid point based on their status as a single or couple.
it happens quite alot, but some of us dont mind sticking up for ourselves or giving advice based on our experiences.
I like being free to rant about others just as much as some like doing it about particular groups...I shouldnt need to have a partner to make my opinions more viable than others.
take that as arrogance if one likes..or just some straight talking.I've had several years of fun here with my target groups..one or two dismissive tones wont burn my swinging world lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I really dont mean to sound personal at all OP, I enjoy the company of the male half and love a good laugh/chat..but if I get the inkling I'm some lesser part of the experience...its a turn off for me...and that can even be before the meet takers place."
As I am the OP I am not at all sure I know what you mean? "Lesser part" we treat all our meets in a friendly and respectful way. |
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I thin they're related to the guys who fancy a GB but when they get there can't handle it just stand around chat and watch. I now make it clear in invites that you either play or fuck off, you're taking up the place of someone who will play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really dont mean to sound personal at all OP, I enjoy the company of the male half and love a good laugh/chat..but if I get the inkling I'm some lesser part of the experience...its a turn off for me...and that can even be before the meet takers place.
As I am the OP I am not at all sure I know what you mean? "Lesser part" we treat all our meets in a friendly and respectful way. "
apologies, I did get mixed up with a response and your OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I really dont mean to sound personal at all OP, I enjoy the company of the male half and love a good laugh/chat..but if I get the inkling I'm some lesser part of the experience...its a turn off for me...and that can even be before the meet takers place.
As I am the OP I am not at all sure I know what you mean? "Lesser part" we treat all our meets in a friendly and respectful way.
apologies, I did get mixed up with a response and your OP"
Ok. No worries. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More and more confirmation of why we wouldnt even dabble into meeting single guys....."
Meets with single guys are great. They have no more propensity to be pillocks than couples or women. Three men have treated me with less care than I'd like during 14 years swinging. 1 single guy and 2 husbands of couples. |
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" he said I had problem because I "let other men fuck my lady".
What a wank stain
It is makes us laugh when we hear things like this
Its Sooooooo bitter grapes!
We had a similar experience where we turned a guy down for a meet and he launched into a speech about Pip being a fat ugly slag who he wouldnt fuck anyway and we were both manky bastards who'd shag anyone,( except him obviously) and he'd smash my head in if he met me ..wouldnt mind we turned him down because he was 5 ft 4 lol.
What another wank stain .
"
5ft 4? Was it me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More and more confirmation of why we wouldnt even dabble into meeting single guys.....
Meets with single guys are great. They have no more propensity to be pillocks than couples or women. Three men have treated me with less care than I'd like during 14 years swinging. 1 single guy and 2 husbands of couples. "
I'd always treat u with care...via a good facefuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More and more confirmation of why we wouldnt even dabble into meeting single guys.....
Meets with single guys are great. They have no more propensity to be pillocks than couples or women. Three men have treated me with less care than I'd like during 14 years swinging. 1 single guy and 2 husbands of couples.
I'd always treat u with care...via a good facefuck "
I love being face-fucked.
What I don't like though is guys who try to remove condoms (2 husbands) or use excessive force with their fingers. (inexperienced single) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More and more confirmation of why we wouldnt even dabble into meeting single guys.....
Meets with single guys are great. They have no more propensity to be pillocks than couples or women. Three men have treated me with less care than I'd like during 14 years swinging. 1 single guy and 2 husbands of couples.
I'd always treat u with care...via a good facefuck
I love being face-fucked.
What I don't like though is guys who try to remove condoms (2 husbands) or use excessive force with their fingers. (inexperienced single)"
yadda yadda, all i heard was facefuck love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More and more confirmation of why we wouldnt even dabble into meeting single guys.....
Meets with single guys are great. They have no more propensity to be pillocks than couples or women. Three men have treated me with less care than I'd like during 14 years swinging. 1 single guy and 2 husbands of couples.
I'd always treat u with care...via a good facefuck
I love being face-fucked.
What I don't like though is guys who try to remove condoms (2 husbands) or use excessive force with their fingers. (inexperienced single)
yadda yadda, all i heard was facefuck love "
Oh, then you missed the bit where i said I had herpes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More and more confirmation of why we wouldnt even dabble into meeting single guys.....
Meets with single guys are great. They have no more propensity to be pillocks than couples or women. Three men have treated me with less care than I'd like during 14 years swinging. 1 single guy and 2 husbands of couples.
I'd always treat u with care...via a good facefuck
I love being face-fucked.
What I don't like though is guys who try to remove condoms (2 husbands) or use excessive force with their fingers. (inexperienced single)
yadda yadda, all i heard was facefuck love
Oh, then you missed the bit where i said I had herpes. "
I love mythological creatures, how many do u have? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More and more confirmation of why we wouldnt even dabble into meeting single guys.....
Meets with single guys are great. They have no more propensity to be pillocks than couples or women. Three men have treated me with less care than I'd like during 14 years swinging. 1 single guy and 2 husbands of couples.
I'd always treat u with care...via a good facefuck
I love being face-fucked.
What I don't like though is guys who try to remove condoms (2 husbands) or use excessive force with their fingers. (inexperienced single)
yadda yadda, all i heard was facefuck love
Oh, then you missed the bit where i said I had herpes.
I love mythological creatures, how many do u have? "
3 unicorns, a phoenix and a single bi-fem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More and more confirmation of why we wouldnt even dabble into meeting single guys.....
Meets with single guys are great. They have no more propensity to be pillocks than couples or women. Three men have treated me with less care than I'd like during 14 years swinging. 1 single guy and 2 husbands of couples.
I'd always treat u with care...via a good facefuck
I love being face-fucked.
What I don't like though is guys who try to remove condoms (2 husbands) or use excessive force with their fingers. (inexperienced single)
yadda yadda, all i heard was facefuck love
Oh, then you missed the bit where i said I had herpes.
I love mythological creatures, how many do u have?
3 unicorns, a phoenix and a single bi-fem"
och you're away with the fairies x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I notice a lot of couples profiles say F-bi M-straight.
Which reminds me of a mate who thinks its ok to fuck any woman but no man can touch his.
I would be happy for mine to fuck other men if she was happy to do so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people just don't understand swinging but I have seen relatives and friends end long term relationships over the other party cheating and watching this happen has given me the view that monogamy doesn't work for everyone and I don't want to end up that way so feel swinging is the answer. I went through a difficult time some years back and ended up with a FB who caused nothing but hassle for me but gave me the ability to separate the feelings of love and sex and I am able to enjoy that with my now long term partner and although we play with others we know we still go back to each other afterwards and tgats all that matters. Whether others understand or agree with what we do is their business all that matters is that it works for us and we're happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a convo with a chap who turned out to be uncomfortable with male to male contact. Not talking bi or gay contact but the normal contact in dp, MFM, etc. Ok, personal preference. (cliche no. 1)
We said we would move on and it all seemed amicable until, in his parting shot, he said I had problem because I "let other men fuck my lady".
Which part of Fab-SWINGERS do some not understand? Do you good folk feel you have a "problem" because you like your partner to express their sexuality and enjoy other people?"
What he was basically trying to say, was that he would be comfortable fucking your wife, if you had no involvement at all. He isn't looking for a swinging experience. He is looking for sex. |
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