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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We are quite new to swinging and got a friend who has had few more meets than us.
She always says or seems to say the guy was too rough or it was just like watching hard fucking porn style.
Just wondering if this is the norm or has she had poor meets?
So question is hard fucking all the time or just fucking and lots of it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say it's personal choice. Just because you made contact on a swingers site and the meet might be for sexy fun.
The operative word here (in my opinion is FUN) I dont think it should simply be meet for a good hard fucking. There are lots who crave that but lots who enjoy sensual sexy fun as well.
That's why a bit of a frank discussion about who's what's and where's is something you need to do before playtime starts. It's no longer fun if one party is being way too rough for the other, that goes the other way as well lol.
Just my view of course
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyones has their own likes and dislikes, whats okay for some is not for others, thats what makes us individuals. I like a bit of rough sex and a good hard fuck but in the right context, for example a guy i went with this week, i kind of got the impression on one hand that he knew what he was doing but on the other hand, he didnt get much, had little experience?? so he actually hurt me and came too soon too and a repeat didnt happen.
so to you or me, rough is fine but to your friend not, not sure about the porn style either, id be waiting for:-
Lights, camera, action  |
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Got to agree with the posters above ..it depends on the mood of the woman really,some switch from dom to sub ,some want sensual, then maybe just do me hard..
depends on the day really ,we are all different and like varied sex .
good fun eh |
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as usual the forumites talk a lot of sense
each to their own and everyone is different. To me it depends on who i am with, can do the nice 'love making' sex but also really enjoy a good hard fuck, but that has to be with the right person who also enjoys that cos if not it can be disappinting as greykitten explained |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now...this is interesting...lol. I watched a programme once about how our sexual needs and desires change as we get "older" 
Although not a hard and fast rule, they report that young ladies, or rather women of childbearing age, suppose up to late 40s, really enjoy hard thrusting as it satisfies a subconcious primeval "need".
Older ladies, would had done their bit for mankind, lol, preferred more leasurly lovemaking, more carressing and so on.
No doubt some of you ladies will say differently, but as a bloke, I can see reason in their logic  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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as we're both new to scene thought we'd ask, me and OH had great time with our meets with just the right level of thrust. I know my mate discussed at latest meet that previous meets the guy had rammed in so hard and fast she was moaning but in pain not pleasure! So got bit suprise that the guy on that meet was still bit on the eyewatering side with cock and finger action. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I believe my better half would issue a quick and to the point kick in the bollocks if the guy was rough with her. Followed up by a swift emoval from the premisis. |
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we find discussing wants and likes before a meet works well. ask what the no no's are so you dont get a surprise!
More confidence at meets will make it easier to say Woah back but that comes from experience.
do what makes you happy and never feel pressured to do what you are not happy with. enjoy |
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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago
Back of Beyond |
I think your friend may be confused, did she just want a good no holds barred sex filled session. Or did she by the sounds of it, want a slow sensuous fuck where the guy kisses and fondles her?
To me it sounds like the latter was the case, and if so, she as the woman really should have taken the lead and let her partner know what she wanted. Not just accept the way in which he was doing it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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nope she was defo up for a good fucking, she is very raunchy sexy lady who loves to be filled likes big cocks, toys fisting, what she found rough was guy pounding into her cervix with his cock and fingering her so hard she ble. When we talked about it me and her agreed hard thrust to make you rock and hear the ass/ball slap is good hard fuck, thrusting/fingering that makes eyes water too rough. Does that make us wusses? Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In many areas and facets of life, communication is an important element.
So did this lady just lie back and take what she was given? Didn't she communicate in any way that the experience wasn't pleasurable? And I don't mean afterwards but as it was happening.
And was the guy an insensitive type who didn't appreciate the lady's feelings, didn't watch for, read, understand any signals she was giving?
It takes two and communication is a 2-way thing!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its also about communication between you and the meets about what you like beforehand and during the meet
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spot on!
for me, it always comes up in the dirty talk before a meet whether or not the other person likes it rough or whatever else. i like to go with the mood and just take it from there, but if the other person doesnt like it rough, then i'll respect that x |
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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago
clacton on sea |
most of the pleasure out of a sexual contact with someone is the gentle explorations of each others desires and needs, sounds to me the lady had some extremely disrespectful play mates, the first rule of playing together has to be getting to know the other person and what they do or don't like |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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at latest meet she actually told them that previous had been too rough, since i gather he couldnt see her face ! the fact that she moved forwards off his cock would give hint suprising though how some blokes follow you hehe |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
each to there own really... I always ask how they like it and if they want something different then to tell me.....
I know that not everyone likes it the same way, and that men are guilty of seeing porn films and thinking "thats how it should be done" |
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As others have said it’s down to good communications, take the time and make the effort to find out about your potential play-mates sex-skills.
We have a regular bi-male we’ve known for some years now. Around about the 3 or 4th session H complained to me ‘afterwards’ that he was too rough! There is two points to this, one is ‘why didn’t she tell him at the time?’ and he didn’t actually behave any different to way the he had on previously occasions or since! So essentially he was doing what had worked well before but during this one point in time H didn’t want it that way.
Some people have better sexual skills than others, some people have a better or not so good sensitivity to others needs/wants. But none of us are psychic/mind readers, so if all else fails there are such words as ‘easy’ ‘not so hard’ ‘not so fast’ etc. or perhaps if you want to go the other way a line such as ‘fuck me like a scrap yard dog’ might do the trick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now...this is interesting...lol. I watched a programme once about how our sexual needs and desires change as we get "older"
Although not a hard and fast rule, they report that young ladies, or rather women of childbearing age, suppose up to late 40s, really enjoy hard thrusting as it satisfies a subconcious primeval "need".
Older ladies, would had done their bit for mankind, lol, preferred more leasurly lovemaking, more carressing and so on.
No doubt some of you ladies will say differently, but as a bloke, I can see reason in their logic "
is an older lady and love hard thrusting but then again love nice and gentle all depends on the night/day lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always do it nice and slow, can't see any benefit for either of you banging away like a road drill, unless the guy just wants to cum quickly.
I guess some people like it rough, but I like to take penetration slow and enjoy the sensation. |
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Well, it's each to their own, but it really does depend on modd too. Also, it depends on the situation here.. Are we talking two couple or MFM? Personally if we are meeting with a guy then it tends to be a more physical afair. Doesn't always have to be rough, but sometimes a good hard fuck works a treat. If we're meeting a couple though it's rare that we would swap just to be pounded into the headboard.. that's not to say that it doesn't work for some though.
Communication is the key, and usually people have discussed at some length what exactly they like, and even when push comes to shove (sorry, no pun intended) whether that is what they still crave.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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both of friends meets were 2 couples. The first meet it seemed like the visitors werent even in agreement fem wanted to chat he said cut the chit chat we all know what we're here for then shagged her like piston engine! They told most recent meet this (another couple) and chap nodded in agreement tut tut terrible and did the same. We did wonder if he was so finger rough because he was trying to get my mate to squirt like his partner  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow, am I glad to find out that most woman don't want to be teared apart - I think the guys probably feel under pressure to "perform" that they think that can only be done by hard fucking .
The 1st time i went swinging, I didnt even know it it was OK to snog the couple - some ppl think it's part of the foreplay - other couples expect just a quick fucking and then ta-ta.
K |
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