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Reading but not deleting messages
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Now before I start I know the answer is 'everyone will be different and manage their messages in their own way' but as a relative newbie I'd be interested to hear from you about how you manage your messages on here.
Since I've joined I've looked at profiles where I think I can be a match and emailed them hopefully meeting their requirements.
In many instances these are opened, read then deleted. Fine, I understand that means they're not interested and I accept that and move on.
But there's quite a few where the message has been opened and read but not yet deleted. Now I'm not sure of the etiquette here - are they being stored as part of a 'possibles' reference library for future use? Should I write back ever, and if so, when? I don't like to be pushy as I know that pisses people off so my default position is to leave it and move on like the deleted messages and hope that if they're ever interested they'll contact me?
Anyway, just interested in how you manage your messages in similar situations.
Thanks, and apologies if this is another one of those recurring topics! |
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I keep some in there and don't get around to replying until later - sometimes much later (like a month after!  ) It's usually if I've read it on my phone but want to reply using laptop (ie it's not a one word reply) or if I've not got time (reading messages whilst waiting somewhere) or if I'm intrigued but not quite sure |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for the replies. Yes, I am treating as deleted at present but also intrigued that others may be getting around to replying... I guess it's the not knowing which camp each person or couple I've contacted is in which is the killer!
Going to stick with default of 'not interested, treat as deleted' and if any replies do ever come through in the passage of time them that'll be a bonus  |
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"Thank you for the replies. Yes, I am treating as deleted at present but also intrigued that others may be getting around to replying... I guess it's the not knowing which camp each person or couple I've contacted is in which is the killer!
Going to stick with default of 'not interested, treat as deleted' and if any replies do ever come through in the passage of time them that'll be a bonus "
I think that's the wisest way to look at it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice is to forget about the message once you click the send message...if you get a reply its a bonus  "
Focus on your inbox not your sent mail - it's far more rewarding |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My advice is to forget about the message once you click the send message...if you get a reply its a bonus
Focus on your inbox not your sent mail - it's far more rewarding"
Ha ha, not for me it isn't ...
*tumble* |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I keep some in there and don't get around to replying until later - sometimes much later (like a month after! ) It's usually if I've read it on my phone but want to reply using laptop (ie it's not a one word reply) or if I've not got time (reading messages whilst waiting somewhere) or if I'm intrigued but not quite sure"
I do the same as this. I also have a regular (male) who deletes his sent messages every day. That way if he gets a reply it's a bonus but he's not tempted to check and wonder. Obviously if he goes to message someone and sees he's messaged them before he moves on instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a few open, read but not deleted messages in my inbox mainly because I either think they've made an effort and I need to reply or they're kind of interesting but I'm not 100% sure.
My inbox is rather untidy to say the very least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes it depends on the volume of mail and whether you have time. We often delete straight away but also do a mass delete when things get really busy lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the bottom line is that everybody manages their inbox their own way, and trying to divine what someone is thinking by whether or not they've deleted your message is a good way to drive yourself crackers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if i'm interested but haven't got time to reply i will ignore (and save) the message until later, but it won't be much later when i reply and it will be with something related to the message but with a "haven't got time to chat right now, maybe some other time?" attached to it.
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"I would take it the same way as a deleted message. I don't delete my messages, they just fall off the page when I get more "
Same, I never delete any but they soon go as I get lots of messages from friends. |
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"Now before I start I know the answer is 'everyone will be different and manage their messages in their own way' but as a relative newbie I'd be interested to hear from you about how you manage your messages on here.
Since I've joined I've looked at profiles where I think I can be a match and emailed them hopefully meeting their requirements.
In many instances these are opened, read then deleted. Fine, I understand that means they're not interested and I accept that and move on.
But there's quite a few where the message has been opened and read but not yet deleted. Now I'm not sure of the etiquette here - are they being stored as part of a 'possibles' reference library for future use? Should I write back ever, and if so, when? I don't like to be pushy as I know that pisses people off so my default position is to leave it and move on like the deleted messages and hope that if they're ever interested they'll contact me?
Anyway, just interested in how you manage your messages in similar situations.
Thanks, and apologies if this is another one of those recurring topics! "
We just never delete messages straight away. So the only thing anyone should pay attention to is when they get a reply. If one that messaged didn't get a reply and messages again it's an instant no.
If we have an interest or they are a possible for future we tell them so.
So it means nothing just concentrate on the ones that reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often think it would take away a lot of angst if fab took away the facility to see what a user has done with a message."
All that would do is encourage people to message again to check if the person had received the first message,even more angst  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often think it would take away a lot of angst if fab took away the facility to see what a user has done with a message.
All that would do is encourage people to message again to check if the person had received the first message,even more angst "
True but I take the view that you either get a reply or you don't. I delete all my sent mail as soon as its sent. No point worrying about things you have no control over, if they're interested, they'll reply |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I often think it would take away a lot of angst if fab took away the facility to see what a user has done with a message.
All that would do is encourage people to message again to check if the person had received the first message,even more angst
True but I take the view that you either get a reply or you don't. I delete all my sent mail as soon as its sent. No point worrying about things you have no control over, if they're interested, they'll reply "
I agree. Since posting the question and reading all the replies I've wiped my sent box, one less thing to worry about |
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