FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > WHY CAN'T U ACCOMMODATE?
WHY CAN'T U ACCOMMODATE?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this a fair question to ask on here? I see it as a pre emptive strike type of question. You don't really need to /have to know, do you?  "
Anyone can ask any question. It's your choice as to whether you answer. Simples. |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
Its an important factor for quite a few people on here in deciding if the person of interest is married or not.. i.e a goy who could only do a few hours in the daytimes only..
There will be other reasons, but thats the first one that sprang to mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this a fair question to ask on here? I see it as a pre emptive strike type of question. You don't really need to /have to know, do you? "
Are you asking because most people don't like your answer (or more to the point they don't see you as a play partner because you're perhaps in a relationship)? |
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For us, it's because we have two older kids (18 & 20) who live here. Although we're not ashamed of what we do, we really don't want them to walk in and find us in a pile of nakedness in the middle of the living room.  |
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"Is this a fair question to ask on here? I see it as a pre emptive strike type of question. You don't really need to /have to know, do you?
Are you asking because most people don't like your answer (or more to the point they don't see you as a play partner because you're perhaps in a relationship)?"
Really?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im living in temporary accomadation,until early next year.its a house share so easier to say cant accom.than have to cancel a meet cause of unexpected circumstances. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I justify fuck all... nor do I ask others to. 
This is the first CORRECT ANSWER with evidence of having read the question well.
Its a single guy."
Correct to you. Funnily enough, other people are entitled to hold differing _iews! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this a fair question to ask on here? I see it as a pre emptive strike type of question. You don't really need to /have to know, do you?
Are you asking because most people don't like your answer (or more to the point they don't see you as a play partner because you're perhaps in a relationship)?
Really? "
? |
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"I justify fuck all... nor do I ask others to.
This is the first CORRECT ANSWER with evidence of having read the question well.
Its a single guy."
Yes it is a correct answer, but it isnt the 1st or only correct answer, in answer to your op, yes it is perfectly acceptable to ask why someone cant accommodate, it is then upto that person if they answer or not, the same way with the whole site, you send a message, no one owes you an answer but it is entirely upto them if they answer. |
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"Is this a fair question to ask on here? I see it as a pre emptive strike type of question. You don't really need to /have to know, do you? "
I can't accomodate due to extended family living with me and very rarely get the house to myself. I am a widow and have nothing to hide |
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You try and get as full a pic as possible of the person you are meeting.
It is just a part of the jigsaw. The fact they dont want to answer is another part of that puzzle.
I think its a reasonable question as is the option to not answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think as a result of the current climate more and more people are flying the nest from their parents much later on in life than previously, or have had to move back in due to financial restrictions. As someone in the same position I find it somewhat embarrassing to have to admit at my age to be back living with parents, and I reckon many fall into this category. Normally with a little planning I am able to accommodate, but I used to state on my profile that I wasn't, so as not to give the impression I could meet at the drop of a hat, however it presents the type of question we see here. Of course there are those who are at it and playing away hence why they cant accommodate, but those who genuinely cant suffer, as to me it looks like people almost want to believe you are lying from the get-go. There is an old saying 'Honi soit qui mal y pense' that rings true here. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I justify fuck all... nor do I ask others to.
This is the first CORRECT ANSWER with evidence of having read the question well.
Its a single guy."
There's no 'correct answer' - just opinions. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think you HAVE to know why. I just assume they have their own reasons and its up to them if they want to tell me what they are.
I don't get stressed over their marital status. I sort of did at first but realised a good number of swingers are cheating on someone. Even couples aren't always couples as they both might actually have partners at home.
One of my favourite ladies is open about being married. We don't have sex together, she just likes to follow me round a club and voyeristily watch me perform. She asked her husband to come with her but he wasn't interested. Who am I to analyse other people's relationships?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I live with my parents. They NEVER go anywhere together so I never have a free house. Except NYE. They r going out then so who knows.........."
Ditto. Can't afford to live away from my parents at the moment. If I'd settle for a flat rather than a house id just scrape it but it's easier to live with them. Also my mums cooking is hard to walk away from.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't want my address being spread about and having hoards of lusty fab groupies hanging about my house day and night..a man needs his sleep and privacy now and again..  |
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"I live with my parents. They NEVER go anywhere together so I never have a free house. Except NYE. They r going out then so who knows..........
Ditto. Can't afford to live away from my parents at the moment. If I'd settle for a flat rather than a house id just scrape it but it's easier to live with them. Also my mums cooking is hard to walk away from. "
Very soon she will stop you from watching F1 !
The noise!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, it's a reasonable question to ask - so long as there is no pressure in expecting a reply.
But how would you feel if I replied, quite genuinely, that I'd once ended up with somebody's hands around my throat and had a very scary escape, so there's no way that I'd trust a Fab meet with my home address again. There's enough risk as it is for a single woman, without telling them where to find you!
Would that encourage further conversation - or stop it dead in it's tracks for you?
Maybe best to just accept their preference and not seek explanations.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this a fair question to ask on here? I see it as a pre emptive strike type of question. You don't really need to /have to know, do you? "
Yes, it's a fair question...everyone has certain criteria that they like to fulfil before they agree to meet someone...Some have few, others are longer, it's all part of how we select partners either here or in real life...it's not preemptive, it's just life. I'm sure you have some that you tend to ask don't you? Whether or not the answer or your willingness to answer it then excludes you is entirely up to them, I'm afraid...There is no equal ops when it comes to fucking strangers off the Internet |
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"I don't want my address being spread about and having hoards of lusty fab groupies hanging about my house day and night..a man needs his sleep and privacy now and again.. "
I was in the neighborhood; just saying hi. |
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"Well, it's a reasonable question to ask - so long as there is no pressure in expecting a reply.
"
thats the same with any message or question, you can ask what you like, its upto the receiver if they answer or not. |
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My house in the UK is rented out,so I can only accommodate when my sis is out. Because I stay at hers. When I'm at mine in Turkey I can always accommodate..... So if you want me and the sun,get in touch  |
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"Probably because i need to clean the place up a bit first lol
Same. I rarely even invite friends over and they know how messy I am."
Well I'm not messy per se just really OCD so if anyone visits the place would have to be immaculate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I live with my parents. They NEVER go anywhere together so I never have a free house. Except NYE. They r going out then so who knows..........
Ditto. Can't afford to live away from my parents at the moment. If I'd settle for a flat rather than a house id just scrape it but it's easier to live with them. Also my mums cooking is hard to walk away from.
Very soon she will stop you from watching F1 !
The noise! "
Why would she stop me watching F1. My parents are both Motorsport fans too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of reasons eg untidiest person on planet would never out of embarrassment let anyone in ,live with 86 year old cantankerous father ,live with a mate and his partner ,have kids ,live with mother ,just don't want anyone to know where you live etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this a fair question to ask on here? I see it as a pre emptive strike type of question. You don't really need to /have to know, do you? "
I think it's rude to ask. If someone asked I'd stop chatting. None of their business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's a very fair question to ask as it's the biggest indicator as to whether someone has a partner at home.
That's the only reason I ask as to be fair as a single woman I feel safer in my own home than at a meets or at a hotel. So them being able to accommodate makes no difference really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both myself and my husband play as singles and as a couple, we both have single profiles along with the couple account.
We choose to keep our 'hobby' and our real life separate.
We both tick the 'can't accomodate' as there isn't an option for 'don't want to accomodate'
As an add on, he does get folk not believing he's playing with his wife's consent as he says can't accomodate
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm asked if I'm married because I don't accommodate. I don't mind explaining why. It's tiresome when the same person keeps asking if I ever get the place to myself or ever accommodate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a very fair question to ask as it's the biggest indicator as to whether someone has a partner at home.
That's the only reason I ask as to be fair as a single woman I feel safer in my own home than at a meets or at a hotel. So them being able to accommodate makes no difference really "
Why would it be an indicator that the person has a partner? I share a house with two other women so, in this economic climate, it would not be unusual for a man to be sharing accommodation with other people.
If it says on a profile that the person does not accommodate then accept it.
One other thing, meeting people one to one in their or your house (or a hotel room) has sod all to do with swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this a fair question to ask on here? I see it as a pre emptive strike type of question. You don't really need to /have to know, do you? "
I always ask the question because generally it seems to mean "Because I live with my wife and she doesn't know I'm on this site". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a very fair question to ask as it's the biggest indicator as to whether someone has a partner at home.
That's the only reason I ask as to be fair as a single woman I feel safer in my own home than at a meets or at a hotel. So them being able to accommodate makes no difference really
Why would it be an indicator that the person has a partner? I share a house with two other women so, in this economic climate, it would not be unusual for a man to be sharing accommodation with other people.
If it says on a profile that the person does not accommodate then accept it.
One other thing, meeting people one to one in their or your house (or a hotel room) has sod all to do with swinging."
I'm sorry but it's an indicator for me and one that I rely on a lot whether you agree or not. Yes people share homes and they can choose to explain that or not and I can choose whether to meet them or not.
Why does where I meet have nothing to do with swinging exactly? ridiculous statement! |
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"I don't 'need' to know but I want to know you don't have a wife/gf at home "
I am pleased to say ones (in)ability to accommodate proves fuck all. Husband or wife may be vegetating in the next room or on treck or be on hols or there may just not be any partner at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to ask because I don't want to meet someone with a partner. If they don't want to answer the question then they don't have to, but I'm unlikely to meet them then as I want to keep a clear conscience and have had issues with jealous partners before. I know a lot of people that live in some kind of shared accom or with parents and I've no problem with that, but I do need that reassurance, especially as I often meet at home where I want to stay safe and hassle free |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to ask because I don't want to meet someone with a partner. If they don't want to answer the question then they don't have to, but I'm unlikely to meet them then as I want to keep a clear conscience and have had issues with jealous partners before. I know a lot of people that live in some kind of shared accom or with parents and I've no problem with that, but I do need that reassurance, especially as I often meet at home where I want to stay safe and hassle free"
Spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a very fair question to ask as it's the biggest indicator as to whether someone has a partner at home.
That's the only reason I ask as to be fair as a single woman I feel safer in my own home than at a meets or at a hotel. So them being able to accommodate makes no difference really
Why would it be an indicator that the person has a partner? I share a house with two other women so, in this economic climate, it would not be unusual for a man to be sharing accommodation with other people.
If it says on a profile that the person does not accommodate then accept it.
One other thing, meeting people one to one in their or your house (or a hotel room) has sod all to do with swinging."
Whether someone can accommodate is one 'filter' that I use in combination with other factors in order to verify someone is single. You can tell by their availability, level of communication etc too
Ridiculous to say if it says on someone's profile 'accept it'. I accept it of course and seek confirmation by another method or move to the next profile.
Don't really get why people can't bring a date home if they share either. I've dated a few guys who lived in shared accommodation. But it's a choice and again, I respect it and move on. |
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"I think it's a very fair question to ask as it's the biggest indicator as to whether someone has a partner at home.
That's the only reason I ask as to be fair as a single woman I feel safer in my own home than at a meets or at a hotel. So them being able to accommodate makes no difference really
Why would it be an indicator that the person has a partner? I share a house with two other women so, in this economic climate, it would not be unusual for a man to be sharing accommodation with other people.
If it says on a profile that the person does not accommodate then accept it.
One other thing, meeting people one to one in their or your house (or a hotel room) has sod all to do with swinging.
Whether someone can accommodate is one 'filter' that I use in combination with other factors in order to verify someone is single. You can tell by their availability, level of communication etc too
Ridiculous to say if it says on someone's profile 'accept it'. I accept it of course and seek confirmation by another method or move to the next profile.
Don't really get why people can't bring a date home if they share either. I've dated a few guys who lived in shared accommodation. But it's a choice and again, I respect it and move on."
Swinger girl I just think it would
be disrespectful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't 'need' to know but I want to know you don't have a wife/gf at home
I am pleased to say ones (in)ability to accommodate proves fuck all. Husband or wife may be vegetating in the next room or on treck or be on hols or there may just not be any partner at all. "
You can generally tell though if someone has another person living at home. There will be things in the bathroom, the bedroom, the lounge...
You can tell immediately when entering my home that I live with my partner, his stuff is everywhere. To eliminate all traces of him would be almost impossible. |
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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago
folkestone |
"I think it's a very fair question to ask as it's the biggest indicator as to whether someone has a partner at home.
That's the only reason I ask as to be fair as a single woman I feel safer in my own home than at a meets or at a hotel. So them being able to accommodate makes no difference really
Why would it be an indicator that the person has a partner? I share a house with two other women so, in this economic climate, it would not be unusual for a man to be sharing accommodation with other people.
If it says on a profile that the person does not accommodate then accept it.
One other thing, meeting people one to one in their or your house (or a hotel room) has sod all to do with swinging.
Whether someone can accommodate is one 'filter' that I use in combination with other factors in order to verify someone is single. You can tell by their availability, level of communication etc too
Ridiculous to say if it says on someone's profile 'accept it'. I accept it of course and seek confirmation by another method or move to the next profile.
Don't really get why people can't bring a date home if they share either. I've dated a few guys who lived in shared accommodation. But it's a choice and again, I respect it and move on."
Id love to know how you would explain to a housemate why you are going into your bedroom with a couple(as that is mainly who i meet). Of course if you are open and don't care if people know your a swinger that it wouldn't matter, but as most are not open about what they do, i can't imagine many being able to explain it away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't really get why people can't bring a date home if they share either. I've dated a few guys who lived in shared accommodation. But it's a choice and again, I respect it and move on."
Think there is a bit of a difference between bringing a date home and bringing the 3rd meet of the week home for a good seeing to! Not everyone is as open minded about sex unfortunately. Also as someone else has mentioned, if you're into group fun then it's a bit more of an imposition on the people you live with.
I tend to have social drink before play even on home meets which I can do no problem, but if the guy I'm meeting lives with others then sitting having a brew and a chat about limits and condoms etc could be a bit awkward! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have grown up kids, all with their own set of keys, coming and going as they please. Don't want an Irn Bru moment, would be a little off putting to say the least V xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can accommodate everyday as I live on my own, but best time is from 1pm cos I am at the gym in the mornings 
Don't you work?"
Yes I do, just 12hrs a week you know 3 times a week, got to much free times you know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had to move back with a parent after a break up with my ex, mainly due to financial reasons and saving for my own place.
Altough if any women want to buy me a house I'll be happy to accept |
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"Is this a fair question to ask on here? I see it as a pre emptive strike type of question. You don't really need to /have to know, do you? "
If you say you can't accommodate, end of story, if people decide to have an issue that is their problem, I say I accommodate, that doesn't mean I will.
Read things as you wish to.
Doesn't always mean the person has something to hide, lots of assumptions on here, for whatever reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We can with arrangement as got kids but never give out address as most can not find it lol always meet at pub for a drink first then if all up for it back here simples xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never ask but most of the men I've chatted to, with the intention of meeting, have offered the information anyway. I can accommodate but I'll only do that after meeting someone socially and making sure there is an element of trust between us. At the end of the day we're all strangers on here and not everyone is comfortable inviting others into their home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never justify to anyone why i don't accommodate there are plenty of guys on here willing to share a hotel to have to bother with people who give me a drilling
i can accommodate i simply choose not to |
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I never ask why people can't accom - it's their choice if they volunteer it
I don't accom for some of the reasons already said by others - not wanting people to know my address & it's my children's home being the primary factors |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I explain why I cannot accommodate, and do ask. If someone chooses not to answer, that is their prerogative, but does influence whether I wish to meet or not.
I'm not looking to meet at theirs for a first meet, as that would always be a social somewhere public, but its a good indicator if they have a gf, partner or wife. |
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