FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > why do they bother
why do they bother
Jump to: Newest in thread
i think we are fairly clear in profile on what we are looking for, couples girls then maybe rarely entertain single guys if they meet our criteria, we always try say thanks but no thanks to guys who take time with a nice reply but why do we get loads of messages with not even 1 line, ie wanna chat, your fit, or a cock shot with come and get it etc...etc..
i mean it doesnt bug us i just dont get it, i mean why bother, if theres any single guys who do this sort of thing please explain are we the only people who get this sort of mail |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We used to get all that sort of stuff,then got that sick of it we brought the Blocker into play.Now on the odd occasion we want to meet a single guy we do what it says on our profile and contact them.With more than a one liner we might add.
Trace & Ric
XXXX |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not one to jump to single guys defence but you need to make clear on your profile what exactly you are looking for from single guys. Currently you say
“single guys we very rarely meet guys but dont mind you mailing but will only consider guys with face/body pics within the 25/40 age range and if you are verified {meeting in person} that helps but even if you do meet that criteria we only do the single guy thing rarely, so dont take a rejection to heart, thanks for reading xx”
You need to emphasise, which in its self is quite a sad indictment on a large amount of this sites single guys communication powers, that one liners and cock shots etc will simply be binned.
Even this will not stop the problem but it may just reduce the amount of junk you currently receive but as we have said to so many other folk if you post a pic of a good looking lady as your profile pic and then compound that with more nice pics at the bottom of your profile then the junk will continue to flow.
Sadly it goes with the territory guys 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
thanks for that, the thing is it doesnt annoy us, it bemuses us it only takes a second to delete but just wonder why they bother, its like going to hunt a tiger armed with a clothes peg do they seriously think anyone would reply to these stupid 1 liners when the competition is fierce or have they just give up, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
as a single female i have the same problem from couples my profile clearly states i only play with single guys but i get lots of 1 line mails everyday from couples and like you i answer all mails but they just wont take no for an answer they get the same treatment as single males who send 1 line mails to me a polite no thanks then the block button if they persist
xxKAYNIExx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
they've probably given up. I know I have...
I only ever compose polite individually tailored mails, supply contact detail and pictures and never ever get a reply or even an acknowledgment.
I'm experienced enough to know that competition is fierce but every now and again I take stock and realise the hours and hours wasted with common manners...
Like you guys, I only reply to cpls who advertise for single guys, I only reply to couples who's criteria I think I'd fit and nothing.
You're probably best taking yourself out of the filter that is "looking for single guys" and then block us all
Sorry you all have such negative opinions of us guys
Good luck with your searches |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
p.s.
not sure why someone would have to qualify a statement with "not one to leap to single guys defences"..why not? We get enough bad press, a little support would go a long way |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Swinglemale: There are plenty of guys who only send mail to the right people and who bother to write proper messages. Don't think that just because you are doing this that you have eliminated the competition, because you haven't... Also I don't think moaning about it on your profile is going to get you anywhere, I have already read somewhere on these forums since they've been up that people will automatically think of you as a whinger and pass you by.
Geznhannah: Nope, I get those sorts of messages too, lol. Just perhaps not as often... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
ill jump 2 single guys defence..as couples are just as bad as the rest of them..it annoys me when u see cpls moaning about single guys when they just as bad..when i put up on my profile(taken time out) its cpls 2 mail me when it clearly states it..so lets play nice xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I play with single females and couples - if I have a response from a couple or female, who say 'thanks but no thanks' I always reply to say 'no problem thanks for letting me know' I think it's a matter of bad manners and no standards in most cases......I now sound like an old fart lol! I probably am! It costs nothing to be polite! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Swinglemale
You come across as a whiner, your profile is the problem, not you
Our advice would be to get all that moaning off your profile, your doing yourself no favours at all, stick to sending your polite individually tailored emails, it’ll pay off at some point, you only get out of this lifestyle what your willing to put in, you'll also have to remember you are single and cannot accommodate so this will put some people off, and you have also hidden your verifications while moaning you don’t gets meets? that wont entirely help either as people will wonder how did you get any, but don’t send contact details ie phone numbers etc in your first mail to anyone, if we want it we will ask and hate having it pushed in our face especially on first contact.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
dosent bother me if we get mail..cost nothing to reply..so whats the grime? we have couples message us we dont meet couples but we have made a lot of new friends..woulnt it be sad if no one got messages happy swinging |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I still regularly get mail from bi guys, gay guys, couples who are too far away for me to meet, etc, etc. Unfortunately it happens, and comes with the territory of being on a swinger site, you just have to take the rough with the smooth. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The "whining" came later, as I said I've long since given up on imagining that people actually advertise on here for meets.
Personally, I just think a little persepective is called for. Couples are quick to complain, to some respect rightfully, about lazy mails, winks, one liner etc...
However, does anyone ever look at it from the perspective of single guys who do spend a long time composing individual mails as requested?
As us single guys pay more at clubs (effectively subsidising them) and our numbers bolster paysite memberships I think we should be afforded a little more respect
Can you imagine how long a site or a club would last that only catered for single-bi-fems, or operated a no single guys policy?
Supposed to be a fun and sociable past time, not an opportunity to round up on people and make sweeping generalisations
Tellingly, all the people who are in my profile pics or who I've met previously (and still in contact with some of them) I've been introduced to through mutual friends or (rarely) through paysites....
oh, and one last thing. Through my observations (mainly through the meet today section) many couples are just as exasperated as myself at the amount of non-responders, timewasters,bottlers etc... so it's too easy (and a short cut to real thinking) to label me as just another moany single guy
I guess cpls will have to put up with low quality mail and us guys will have to put up with none...
good luck with all your searches everyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
We only look for single men. We had so many mails to see to and make time for chats on MSN with the ones we added that we had to put a little update on the profile saying we were not wanting any more new potential playmates at the moment.
We have only had three mails from three males who didn't read the profile properly and sent mail anyway since we put the note up.
We recieve many mails a day normally so I would say most of the single males must read profiles and take note.
We have more mails from couples who ovbiously havn't read our profile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago
stoke on trent |
@swinglemale
quote "The "whining" came later, as I said I've long since given up on imagining that people actually advertise on here for meets."
Could we ask you how do you think we (like so many others) got some feedback on our profile if we don't actually advertise for meets???
Also we would like to ask you something if you don't mind.
As a single male, and one who is obviously willing to post on the forums you can probably explain this.
The simple fact is that in 9 months on this site and nearly two years on another one we've had very little contact from single males - like maybe a dozen or two tops.
Please check our profile, we don't say "no single males" or whatever in SHOUTY writing like a lot of couple do . We do however say what we *are* looking for - which is couple.
So we are not looking for single males (we do invite one or two though when we have parties as they are kinda.... errr useful LOL),
While we're not the most attractive or most popular of swingers, we don't seem to have much problem meeting couples, but to save us getting paranoid would you be able to say why we get hardly any single male approaches? Just out of interest.
xxxxx
J&R |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
hi both ....not being critical of your profile here ..simply suggesting a few answers to your last question ...
Your profile is very detailed of what you like and what you look for but at no time do you mention single guys ...that along with the fact you have not listed em as something your looking for is a problem ..
Single guys "hunting" generally go for the scan approach, first thing i think they look at is ... are you in the market ..they might speed read your profile then ....but yours has nothing about looking for single guys ....
Even if you approach them its all really complicated for them lol
all the best
MR X
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago
stoke on trent |
Hi Pleasuredome
Thanks for that. No it's not a problem - in fact we are *not* looking for single guys, though when we do want one for a party we simply put an ad up on LS website and always get some answers.
The reason we asked is because reading through some posts here, a lot of couples complain they get too much mail from single guys even though they put NO SINGLE GUYS!!!!! on their profile.
We just wondered why we do not get the same problem..... seems like you answered it for us though, perhaps we just put them to sleep half way through reading our profile lol!
xxx
J&R |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
we are taking the add off the looking for single guys list now because it is only once in a blue moon we play, to the guys who wrote with nice replys we will reply to you this weekend, like richard and jusdy if we dont put on the looking for single guys and just on looking for couples we very rarely get mailed by them, we have come across ads by couples where they write an essay about how much they dislike single guys etc and not enough about what thay are actually looking for, so perhaps there are some pests out there who just repy to any ad using the (throw enough shit at the wall theory) but anyway thanks everyone for replying too our little thread xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hi Rich n Judy,
to be honest I can't imagine why you've not received many approaches from single guys. I must admit to being a little confused as to why you're concerned about not getting mail from something you aren't actually advertising for. But after all, it does seem normal for couples to receive mail from folk who don't read the ads...Your ad is great, very well worded, shows a great sense of humour and you don't take yourselves too seriously.You both appear to be very approachable and welcoming
In terms of the first part to your question (if I understand it right).
The people who verified me I actually met from another site. I should clear my "friends" list as I think I've only met 2 of them (the rest certainly haven't replied to mail) and this ties in with why I don't display my verifications...I find it incredibly indiscreet to list the people I've met or played with and also, if I see a profile with an excessively long list then I'm unlikely to reply. I prefer a more sociable aspect to swinging as opposed to being an anonymous fuck amongst any number of others. This is not a criticism against those people who display their lists, just a personal preference of mine (if, as a single guy, I'm allowed to show a personal preference without being considered arrogant or having the temerity not to recognise my place being scraped from the bottom of some couples proverbial shoe) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Without going over the top here ...the problem with being a single guy ...is simply that we are single guys ..We have traditionally taken on the role of hunter for food and for "mates"...lets make no mistake the same rules still apply in a modern environment as they did when it was a case of going on the pull ..around the pubs and clubs.
There are however a few differences, Single men now hit on far more women online than they would in a traditional environment .."the kid in a sweetshop effect...which one ...which one ....ohh fuck it all of them .....the shotgun effect ...which women are savvy enough to spot a mile off, and must get sick of ...and fairly or unfairly ..they lump all us guys in one big camp ...
I mean lets be honest these guys look desperate ...some of the tricks and stunts i have heard single guys pull make me ashamed at times to admit to being one ..
The other point is ....for the first time in hundreds of years Women are empowered to explore there own sexuality ..without being penalised by society...and thankgod for that ....
I remember when if a woman went in a pub on her own she was considered a slut ....
The point being ...its a buyers market guys as it has always been...You have to present yourself as best you can ...try not to come across as a dribbling Neanderthal ...treat women as equals ,and accept it ...even if your gods gift to whatever even if you wrote a 6000 word intro ....if they dont want to reply ...they just do not have too .
just my tuppence worth
MR X
ps ..Swinglemale ...yep i agree it is wrong that single guys get financial caned to go into clubs etc ...but could you imagine the effect of making it more accessible ...the all male stag does queuing for a hundred yards on a Saturday night to get in (perhaps the very reason we have debates about single guys is that fabs is a free site).....consider it an investment into a lifestyle rather than a overcharge.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Hear hear Pleasuredome,fabulous post!
I wonder if when single guys join up would it be a good idea for admin to send them a standard message relaying all the do's and don'ts advice that have cropped up again and again on the forums?
Just the same as when you go to a club there is sometimes a single guy etiquette list that often needs to be read before any single guy should think about approaching a woman or couple lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
The etiquette list doesn't work either....
Ask the new, single bloke at Chameleons who bored me and hubby witless last time we went and decided that cus Jase was polite enough to listen, it meant he would get into my knickers!
How to have to tell someone to fuck off and stop being an annoying halfwit..... in those exact words.
The highish percentage of single male fuckwits, newbies, whingers, whiners, only out for a shag, cheating on wifers... far out number the genuine blokes. Thats why they are all tarred with the same brush generally.
I used to be nice to everyone..... but after the bitter complainings, insults and berations from single men (and couples) we turned down....... I don't bother.
I'm not discriminatory, I'm downright Xenophobic now (unless I like someone of course - then I am entitled to change my mind!) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i see wot you are saying & i guess you have a point as everyone does on this matter!
being a single guy myself i have sent messages which i would consider polite & well meaning & in return have got no response so this is a two way street which we can all be guilty of?
but it is good when i do get mail even if it is mostly thanks but no thanks. having said that you bemoan the one liners & cock shots & i've got to say that those guys are either struggle to think up more as its not easy trying to think up of how to say i'd like to shagg your mrs without causing offense (althou they obviously are doing this) as i'm sure with most couples you have to go through the guy first??
or the one liner brigade are having a laugh to revoke a response? are not genuine or maybe its a bit of sexual frustration as they may have unwilling partners who are not up for the swing scene??? who knows how there minds work!
but wot ever the case might be i don't think its going to go away & that that eliment will still be around to give genuine guys a bad name also so we to have to live with it as well even thou they don't send us the mail!!! but i do sympathize
p.s i don't mind if couples or single femms would like to send me one liners or fanny shots they'd be most welcome!!! thanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The highish percentage of single male fuckwits, newbies, whingers, whiners, only out for a shag, cheating on wifers... far out number the genuine blokes. Thats why they are all tarred with the same brush generally.
I used to be nice to everyone..... but after the bitter complainings, insults and berations from single men (and couples) we turned down....... I don't bother.
I'm not discriminatory, I'm downright Xenophobic now (unless I like someone of course - then I am entitled to change my mind!)"
you couldn't take that out of context if you tried..sounds just like the kind of person you want contributing to the single guy debate... impartial,tolerant etc...sheesh.something tells me all the eloquence in the world isn't going to sway this sociable and friendly creature
next time, could we try for a bit more venom please? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
my old man had a great expression that I feel is apt here ..."fancy coming home to that a pound short your wages"
my sympathies to mr _adchick (and possibly a hardhat) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
No backlash Hotty my lovely.
After all, he's just another of the single male fraternity who think they are handsome, fit, intelligent, good looking blah blah blah and get all pissy when they don't get a reply.... maybe mummy should hold their hands and pet it all better.
After all, most of the "handsome, fit, intelligent" single blokes are complete fooking munters with the IQ of a lentil who don't understand that there is NO right of reply on here.
As you know hotty..... I don't hold with personal slurs..... I think it's moronic, childish and pathetic..... but lets be honest....... You know Mr Madchick and he's the love of my life....... but then he knows the 'real' me...... he's not some knob wobbling, halfwit who thinks that because he's seen me post on here he has the god given right to berate me personally.
Anyho...... I'm off to cause mischief and mayhem and you will hear me scream if I see another....... why don't they reply thread!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
