FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > why do people keep letting us down ??
why do people keep letting us down ??
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Hey guys just have to post to air our frustration with the site at the moment!
We have had some brilliant meets over the years but we have found in the last 6 months or so this site is full of timewasting fakes!!
For example over the past 3 weeks we have had 12 cancellations yes 12!!!!!! Now I don't know if it's something me and hubby are doing or if it really is pathetic people playing and messing around on the site.
It really angers me that most of us are here to meet and have fun and a select few (well growing to be more than a few) are getting us down so much we are thinking of just deleting the account !
Are many people out there having the same problem ?? love n licks G&A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have not met any myself either,
i did had successful meet no long ago an hope to arrange something another 1 soon:to be fair there always be a lot of them on here just gotta move on
with nothing more you can do about the person or persons
just block them (it is there loss)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I had a quick look at your profile and it certainly is attractive, your person requirements are not too narrow. I had a streak of letdowns a couple of weeks ago, maybe it is the moon? Just do not take it personally because based on what I have seen it will have been their loss |
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"Hey guys just have to post to air our frustration with the site at the moment!
We have had some brilliant meets over the years but we have found in the last 6 months or so this site is full of timewasting fakes!!
For example over the past 3 weeks we have had 12 cancellations yes 12!!!!!! Now I don't know if it's something me and hubby are doing or if it really is pathetic people playing and messing around on the site.
It really angers me that most of us are here to meet and have fun and a select few (well growing to be more than a few) are getting us down so much we are thinking of just deleting the account !
Are many people out there having the same problem ?? love n licks G&A "
well who ever they are they must be mad keep your profile why are so many prats about  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only class meets who don't turn up without any contact as timewasters and I have never had one of those from this site.
People cancel for all sorts of reasons. Life gets in the way.
Maybe you have just had a run of bad luck.
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possibly but a message to say they are unable to make it is surely just polite ? we understand circumstances change as they have done for us in the past but as i say some form of contact to cancel would be nice think we may stick to clubs from now on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i came on to put a message about the same topic, but been beaten to it! We were meant to have meet tonight, but was cancelled at last minute - our 6th in a row. not as bad as 12!
you're definitely not doing anything wrong, so don't take it personally.
our 1st 6 months were great, and had some brill meets - see verifications. Recently though .....we only go with people with verified profiles too, but that doesnt seem to be a guarantee
we frustrated as due to work and family commitments we dont get lot of time for meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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seriously the only way to deal with the problem is redefine your meet requirements. I suggest you make it:
single males in Cheshire,
aged 45-47.
.
That will almost certainly result in 100% success. |
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We can see completely what you mean its not a simple thing for us to arrange a meet like you other commitments work / children etc means it takes planning.
We often feel so annoyed that we are all ready to meet and we get let down last min more often than not or people just dont show and when you try and phone / txt you get no reply ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to have to tell you that I don't experience this myself, still haven't come across a timewaster in my time here.
Hope things get better for you"
*Nods in agreement* |
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how do you mean diamond ?? think maybe we should wait longer to arrange meets or maybe its because we like a social first we enjoy having a nice drink and flirt before fun. Maybe the more frustrated we are getting the more we are rushing to meet people if that makes sense hmmmm might have to think on that one |
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"how do you mean diamond ?? think maybe we should wait longer to arrange meets or maybe its because we like a social first we enjoy having a nice drink and flirt before fun. Maybe the more frustrated we are getting the more we are rushing to meet people if that makes sense hmmmm might have to think on that one "
Actually you have just answered it in the last part of this post. Some guys/couples/girls or any other variation will say things if they think they have a meet lined up. But sometimes they can be all worked up while talking to you then once they have had a wank they cant be bothered then. |
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"Some guys/couples/girls or any other variation will say things if they think they have a meet lined up"
"Some" like the chase, but when caught are like rabbits facing headlights, don't have a clue what to do  |
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"just block them (it is there loss)
Ahem, Sassy will be along shortly with an explanation 
Lol nope: as I said no one listens so why bother! "
Well, I for one love to read / listen what you have to say 
You give it straight 
Oh, can I say "Straight" on here |
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thx all for your advice and comments i know what you mean about the chase then they just dont wanna know just leaves you soooooo damn frustrated !! im definately going to block them and just start afresh try and meet some more genuine peeps like we have done in the past |
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Its one of the reasons i never do cyber, sex phone sex or meets the same day. I know what some guys are like, they would tell you they wanted to marry you 30 seconds before they shot the load then 30 seconds after they would be gone in a puff of smoke |
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"Its one of the reasons i never do cyber, sex phone sex or meets the same day. I know what some guys are like, they would tell you they wanted to marry you 30 seconds before they shot the load then 30 seconds after they would be gone in a puff of smoke"
Totally agree.... |
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"Its one of the reasons i never do cyber, sex phone sex or meets the same day. I know what some guys are like, they would tell you they wanted to marry you 30 seconds before they shot the load then 30 seconds after they would be gone in a puff of smoke"
oh ye !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just block them (it is there loss)
Ahem, Sassy will be along shortly with an explanation
Lol nope: as I said no one listens so why bother!
Well, I for one love to read / listen what you have to say
You give it straight
Oh, can I say "Straight" on here "
Straight?!! Where?!! |
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"how do you mean diamond ?? think maybe we should wait longer to arrange meets or maybe its because we like a social first we enjoy having a nice drink and flirt before fun. Maybe the more frustrated we are getting the more we are rushing to meet people if that makes sense hmmmm might have to think on that one "
After reading this bit it sprung to mind that the social element may put some of them off but they will go with it anyway on the hope of sex later...in the mean time if they get a sure fire offer of sex or a party invite they will opt for that instead ! It's nothing new  |
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"how do you mean diamond ?? think maybe we should wait longer to arrange meets or maybe its because we like a social first we enjoy having a nice drink and flirt before fun. Maybe the more frustrated we are getting the more we are rushing to meet people if that makes sense hmmmm might have to think on that one
After reading this bit it sprung to mind that the social element may put some of them off but they will go with it anyway on the hope of sex later...in the mean time if they get a sure fire offer of sex or a party invite they will opt for that instead ! It's nothing new "
i agree,we rarely do social meets,we have never had a time waster,we are not here for a social life but to fuck,assuming that everyone wants to get to know someone first is not the golden rule. |
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"how do you mean diamond ?? think maybe we should wait longer to arrange meets or maybe its because we like a social first we enjoy having a nice drink and flirt before fun. Maybe the more frustrated we are getting the more we are rushing to meet people if that makes sense hmmmm might have to think on that one
After reading this bit it sprung to mind that the social element may put some of them off but they will go with it anyway on the hope of sex later...in the mean time if they get a sure fire offer of sex or a party invite they will opt for that instead ! It's nothing new
i agree,we rarely do social meets,we have never had a time waster,we are not here for a social life but to fuck,assuming that everyone wants to get to know someone first is not the golden rule."
And may i say why oh why dont a lot peeps l  k at it like this oh no we have meet first see if we gel god its only sex talk afterwards |
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"how do you mean diamond ?? think maybe we should wait longer to arrange meets or maybe its because we like a social first we enjoy having a nice drink and flirt before fun. Maybe the more frustrated we are getting the more we are rushing to meet people if that makes sense hmmmm might have to think on that one
After reading this bit it sprung to mind that the social element may put some of them off but they will go with it anyway on the hope of sex later...in the mean time if they get a sure fire offer of sex or a party invite they will opt for that instead ! It's nothing new
i agree,we rarely do social meets,we have never had a time waster,we are not here for a social life but to fuck,assuming that everyone wants to get to know someone first is not the golden rule.
And may i say why oh why dont a lot peeps l k at it like this oh no we have meet first see if we gel god its only sex talk afterwards "
Because not everyone has the same outlook as you. Some people, especially new or nervous people/couples prefer to take things at a slower pace. There is nothing wrong with the social element of swinging too or there would be no social events on here.
Perhaps those that do not like the social aspect should make that clear on their profiles too?
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Hey guys just have to post to air our frustration with the site at the moment!
We have had some brilliant meets over the years but we have found in the last 6 months or so this site is full of timewasting fakes!!
For example over the past 3 weeks we have had 12 cancellations yes 12!!!!!! Now I don't know if it's something me and hubby are doing or if it really is pathetic people playing and messing around on the site.
It really angers me that most of us are here to meet and have fun and a select few (well growing to be more than a few) are getting us down so much we are thinking of just deleting the account !
Are many people out there having the same problem ?? love n licks G&A "
I know I am going to sound like "the bad guy" now... but I don't see where going "there there there" like some people is going to solve your problem...
so time to tell it like it is... hope you understand that it isn't personal, and i hope that you take some of it in...
okay.. so 1 is unlucky and 2 could be counted as unfortunate.... but 12!! in 3 weeks....
12 is so far off the charts as a pattern... the only people who can change that "pattern" is you...
as someone who can count the amount of time wasters I have had on one hand in seven years, I do have to wonder how you go about the picking, choosing and doing the due diligence on these people....
12 in 3 weeks says to me that something has to change.... once you can determine how you go about doing that.... whether that be you both now doing the chasing... or questions them better, or just changing the type you go after....
maybe its because if something doesn't feel right, i don't meet... or if i am not happy i keep talking to them until i am happy... or meeting them socially first before playing....or if the alarm bells are going off then they are going off for a reason....
Hope it does change... but you have to affect that or it will keep going on and on and on.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how do you mean diamond ?? think maybe we should wait longer to arrange meets or maybe its because we like a social first we enjoy having a nice drink and flirt before fun. Maybe the more frustrated we are getting the more we are rushing to meet people if that makes sense hmmmm might have to think on that one
After reading this bit it sprung to mind that the social element may put some of them off but they will go with it anyway on the hope of sex later...in the mean time if they get a sure fire offer of sex or a party invite they will opt for that instead ! It's nothing new
i agree,we rarely do social meets,we have never had a time waster,we are not here for a social life but to fuck,assuming that everyone wants to get to know someone first is not the golden rule.
And may i say why oh why dont a lot peeps l k at it like this oh no we have meet first see if we gel god its only sex talk afterwards "
In four years I never encountered a timewaster. I always meet socially and it's during my lunch hour or after work so if they don't show no skin of my nose and not a moment of my time wasted.
I meet in my home. I'm not a nut! I also live with my daughters, there's no way on God's green earth would I contemplate inviting some random horny man into my home I don't know. I don't meet in hotels so wouldn't meet a stranger in one either!
When people take pot luck, drive miles, spend money expecting to meet a Cheryl Cole lookalike to be met by Dawn French, they come and start threads about it!
Everyone does things differently: some of us are just more successful than others! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We can sympathise with this thread, we've had some great meets in the past but recently, the past 6 months or so, we've encountered let down after let down and it is frustrating, and last week end we met a couple who'd chased us for a meet, were seemingly keen to meet, but it was obvious from the get go that the female partner wanted to be anywhere but with us, and was incredibly rude and we had to make our excuses and walk away, was so embarrasing and a waste of our time. |
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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago
Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree |
I always do a face meet in a public place first, before deciding to go back to someone's to play - that's for my safety as a single woman playing.
Never had experience of a timewaster until last night. Chatting with a friend, this 'gentleman' did the exact same thing to her and her partner, exact same scenario afterwards too. I suspect that there are some that get their kicks out of arranging a meet with no intention of ever turning up.
Best bit of advice is that it is their loss, and move on. But if it bothers you that much, there is a button on the 'report' screen that includes people not turning up for meets. Hopefully if admin get enough reports about a profile they will take action. |
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Yes I don't think it's fair to blame "the site", in fact I suspect it's because fab is becoming so successful and well known that, unfortunately it brings the fantasists, picture collectors and timewasters too, I also agree with other posters that you won't solve your problem by moving to another site, good luck anyway I hope your luck changes for the better, hugzzies, Ruby, xxx  |
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I think its like buses, they all come at once, a run of bad luck or a run of great meets, just keep trying, don't give too much away ahead of the meet, like dirty pics or cam or phone sex, thats all a lot of guys are after (no matter how much they seem keen to meet).
Take your time chatting to guys too, don't expect to chat at 5pm and meet at 8pm, its easy to carried away when your horny and a lot of guys get cold feet once their erection subsides.
It's not the sites fault you are not having any good luck, take a break and come back to it before you get too disheartened. |
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you are not doing nothing wrong your profile is very good and the 12 peope who let you down thats there lost there are some genuine guys like me on this site as i will never let anyone down once a meeting has been set up but like you been let down many times 4get them and move on good luck wish i was closer to you and younger LOL GOOD LUCK XXTREV |
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"I think its like buses, they all come at once, a run of bad luck or a run of great meets, just keep trying, don't give too much away ahead of the meet, like dirty pics or cam or phone sex, thats all a lot of guys are after (no matter how much they seem keen to meet).
Take your time chatting to guys too, don't expect to chat at 5pm and meet at 8pm, its easy to carried away when your horny and a lot of guys get cold feet once their erection subsides.
It's not the sites fault you are not having any good luck, take a break and come back to it before you get too disheartened. "
Well im not one of these guys and never lose interest or cold feet but i know what its like to get let down had a run like that last year it hurts but just move on there are some good guys on here me being one of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its one of the reasons i never do cyber, sex phone sex or meets the same day. I know what some guys are like, they would tell you they wanted to marry you 30 seconds before they shot the load then 30 seconds after they would be gone in a puff of smoke"
lol Yes YOUR SO RIGHT XX some men when horny and cum its all over ..... and most of swinging is in there head ....some i am sure never really will ever meet from here just looking to wank and dream.
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thx for all your comments and it is nice to know we are not the only ones having problems
Also someone mentioned blaming the site we are definately not doing that as fabs has given us some of the most memorable nights ever lol we are just saying its a shame that such people feel the need to do what they do.
Someone also mentioned experience / nervousness etc we completely understand people in that sutuation as we can remember how hard it was for us and i(fem) still get very nervous to begin with, but all we ask is that people are honest with us and tell us whats best for them so we dont keep getting ready sorting sitters just for no shows. |
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we dont big lad i think that could be part of the problem usually we want to chat and meet socially first when people hear that word "social" its like they switch off. The reason we have been asking for meets sooner recently is to see if that makes a difference and the frustration does make you rush things which we must remember not to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel i have been lucky after reading this never been let down on here ... I would be mad if I had 1 do that to me oooo 12 ..How well did you know them ?? I get to know the people i am going to meet .. rear if i meet a person i have known for 1 or 2 posts on here .. |
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well we have tried everything lol talking on phone and via mails for weeks and arranging a meet after a few days i think either way you will still get the few that maybe have no intention of meeting or maybe as people have said before they get nervous which is understandable. Thing is the majority of the time its them pushing us for a meet then when we agree they dont show ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Put in BIG LETTERS ON YOUR PROFILE .... If your one of them men who let people down do not mail ? as we do not wish to be . or something i would that way thay know from the start .. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"well we have tried everything lol talking on phone and via mails for weeks and arranging a meet after a few days i think either way you will still get the few that maybe have no intention of meeting or maybe as people have said before they get nervous which is understandable. Thing is the majority of the time its them pushing us for a meet then when we agree they dont show ! "
Justa shame there are people on here (not just men) who get a thrill from letting people down. I went through a really bad patch just before Xmas. Luckily it didn't last. Just keep on keeping on and make sure the good people get verified. |
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I am afraid there is no fool proof way of ensuring a meet. I myself have only ever let down one couple due to a stupendous list of things that went wrong from phone literally frying ( as I was cooking slipped from in between my shoulder and neck into pan of eggs!), wages not getting paid on time and last of all family member needing to go hospital. Luckily the couple were understanding when I let them know, via internet cafe (as computer had virus that day too) that I wouldn't be able to meet.
Basically don't get mad with the site and stay optimistic as many people have said it is honestly there loss and the good meets you have had off here should make up for the timewasters. I guess best thing to do would organise few meets at clubs if you don't trust them 100 percent to turn up as a
T least you can still have loads of fun at them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'It's their loss!'
How on earth can it be 'their loss', i've never understood this statement, and believe me I've tried to. Surely it could only be 'their loss' if someone really WANTS to meet you and doesn't because of valid reasons other than a change of mind (the want is still there). In those circumstances then I suppose it may be their loss, but if the reason is valid then their not timewasters.
If the reason is not valid or they don't give a reason, then they simply don't want you.
How can that be their loss?? |
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No its there loss as they more than likely would of got a lot more pleasure from attending the meet than web wanking or pranking. I understand the statement your making and to be honest you are right to a certain extent but some of those 12 that let down on the meet may of wanted to meet but were to afraid. I don't condone that behaviour but its just a fact of life, so basically it is 'some' of there loss's for being losers... No? |
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Have found that lately there are a lot of timewasters on here which is starting to spoil the experience.
Also getting annoyed with people you chat with and PM (after THEY suggested it) and they just ignore your message. That's just rude!
If someone makes the effort to PM you at least have the decency to respond.
Same applies to arranging meets |
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Have found that lately there are a lot of timewasters on here which is starting to spoil the experience.
Also getting annoyed with people you chat with and PM (after THEY suggested it) and they just ignore your message. That's just rude!
If someone makes the effort to PM you at least have the decency to respond.
Same applies to arranging meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No its there loss as they more than likely would of got a lot more pleasure from attending the meet than web wanking or pranking. I understand the statement your making and to be honest you are right to a certain extent but some of those 12 that let down on the meet may of wanted to meet but were to afraid. I don't condone that behaviour but its just a fact of life, so basically it is 'some' of there loss's for being losers... No? "
If they are genuine but for whatever reason have succumbed to nerves at the last minute then they are not timewaters in my book, just inexperienced. I'm not condoning anyone not turning up with no apology and then ignoring texts etc, but this is probably because they are embarrased for letting someone down.
But they haven't lost anything. They made the decision it was not for them at that time. To assume they would have got more pleasure from going ahead with a meet they were too nervous to attend is a little hard for me to believe. There's very little worse than being somewhere you don't want to be.
Swinging seems a good idea to some, but the reality can be extremely daunting. It cannot be their loss if it's their choice.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how do you mean diamond ?? think maybe we should wait longer to arrange meets or maybe its because we like a social first we enjoy having a nice drink and flirt before fun. Maybe the more frustrated we are getting the more we are rushing to meet people if that makes sense hmmmm might have to think on that one
Actually you have just answered it in the last part of this post. Some guys/couples/girls or any other variation will say things if they think they have a meet lined up. But sometimes they can be all worked up while talking to you then once they have had a wank they cant be bothered then."
savvy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we dont big lad i think that could be part of the problem usually we want to chat and meet socially first when people hear that word "social" its like they switch off. The reason we have been asking for meets sooner recently is to see if that makes a difference and the frustration does make you rush things which we must remember not to do "
Gotta be honest, although we are very sociable and like the social side of swinging, we do not like to do social meets if we are looking for sexual fun and that is what we are mainly looking for on here. Therefore, we would not meet someone "socially" without a pretty firm indication of play following. Although, of course, the option to withdraw is always there if things do not click.
We did a few social meets when we first started swinging and they were ok, but not what we were looking for in terms of sexual fun so we don't take this approach any more.
I say this as this could be where it is going wrong. Peeps may prefer to take up a sure sexual fun offer rather than stick by their agreement to meet you socially with no indication of play?
Nevertheless, they should at least phone you to cancel. You didn't mention if they had done this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hi yes i understand your frustration and anger at being let down i have had a few of late being a shift worker time is preciouse and sorting a time that fits is hard so wene you get a text or mail last min does wind you up so to those who do this please think before planning your meets |
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