FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > I honestly see why women on Fab are not seen as dating material
I honestly see why women on Fab are not seen as dating material
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me " | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here " They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. | |||
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"Maybe you should leave and find a better site then??? "This kinda response is exactly the kind I have in mind for the person I am talking about. Its par for the course. | |||
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"Maybe you should leave and find a better site then???
This kinda response is exactly the kind I have in mind for the person I am talking about. Its par for the course."Yes common sense, if I don't want hangovers anymore I should stop drinking! | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. " Have you considered that this shitty behaviour you speak of is in response to other shitty behaviour? Web have lost decorum and messaged people bluntly to leave us alone after annoying, rude or insulting messages, not to mention unsolicited friend requests. I am not saying YOU do this but perhaps this behaviour is a response to the toxic behaviour they encounter from others. I'm not justifying it, just offering my 2 cents. | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. " No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity." Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. Have you considered that this shitty behaviour you speak of is in response to other shitty behaviour? Web have lost decorum and messaged people bluntly to leave us alone after annoying, rude or insulting messages, not to mention unsolicited friend requests. I am not saying YOU do this but perhaps this behaviour is a response to the toxic behaviour they encounter from others. I'm not justifying it, just offering my 2 cents." No, actually. Not because people dont get bombarded with stalkers and weirdo...I've seen it. But because I tend to finf there is not a ton of correlation between those who behave poorly and the weirdos/trolls who frequent just about everywhere. I understand people making requirements for what they dont want but what I dont really see the need for is: -shitty bodyshaming (fat men are disgusting/u cant satisfy me with an average cock...VWE!!) -Homophobia -Closeted bigotry Are we going to blame that on "shitty messages"?? LOL, come on. | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me "Are you looking for a wife then? | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. " They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. | |||
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"Well if I'm honest I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a guy on fab This is just a stop cap for me until I want to go down the relationship road again" I was actually just thinking this. I remember a bunch of threads where women on here said they wouldn't date a guy from here. It makes sense that both sexes would feel this way to some extent. I don't think fab is a good medium for shedding the best light on eachother for dating purposes. | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. " Is this fact or your opinion. | |||
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"not looking for a relationship but I want some sex. that doesn't mean I can't have proper relationships be it a romanic one or a friendship. with men and women. it simply means that sex and feelings can be separated..." Yeah but this is my point. Reducing men to walking penises and then thinking you're going to get up and waltz into a healthy relationship? I mean, who are we really fooling?? Every fuckbuddy who turned into a longterm thing I was with, I dealt with on a level where we had at least some level of mutual respect for eachother. Sitting there with a laundry list of physical and sexual requirements and then thinking that you'll be able to lead from these into something more substantial is comical at best. | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. Is this fact or your opinion." The only fact I have to offer is the dissolution rate in non-monogamous relationships is higher. I would not really offer an opinion on how "happy" these relationships are as 1. I'm not well enough informed and 2. Happiness/fulfillment are not quantifiable metrics and are open to reporting bias. But if the break up rate is higher then its likely indicative of the points that I made. | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. Have you considered that this shitty behaviour you speak of is in response to other shitty behaviour? Web have lost decorum and messaged people bluntly to leave us alone after annoying, rude or insulting messages, not to mention unsolicited friend requests. I am not saying YOU do this but perhaps this behaviour is a response to the toxic behaviour they encounter from others. I'm not justifying it, just offering my 2 cents. No, actually. Not because people dont get bombarded with stalkers and weirdo...I've seen it. But because I tend to finf there is not a ton of correlation between those who behave poorly and the weirdos/trolls who frequent just about everywhere. I understand people making requirements for what they dont want but what I dont really see the need for is: -shitty bodyshaming (fat men are disgusting/u cant satisfy me with an average cock...VWE!!) -Homophobia -Closeted bigotry Are we going to blame that on "shitty messages"?? LOL, come on. " OK, how did you establish this lack of correlation? where did you get the data for this and how did you compare it? Again not saying you are wrong, you may very well have a good point but you're throwing new information that is muddying your argument, at least in my opinion. | |||
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"Well if I'm honest I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a guy on fab This is just a stop cap for me until I want to go down the relationship road again I was actually just thinking this. I remember a bunch of threads where women on here said they wouldn't date a guy from here. It makes sense that both sexes would feel this way to some extent. I don't think fab is a good medium for shedding the best light on eachother for dating purposes. " Women say they wont date a guy on here...but its not really true is it? Just type in "relationship" into the search tab and see the lions share of threads about starting relationships on here are made by women. Add to that, we all know how much male infidelity is frowned upon here...I fail to see how such status could possibly be relevant unless people were indeed interested in meeting those beyond the physical level. | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. Have you considered that this shitty behaviour you speak of is in response to other shitty behaviour? Web have lost decorum and messaged people bluntly to leave us alone after annoying, rude or insulting messages, not to mention unsolicited friend requests. I am not saying YOU do this but perhaps this behaviour is a response to the toxic behaviour they encounter from others. I'm not justifying it, just offering my 2 cents. No, actually. Not because people dont get bombarded with stalkers and weirdo...I've seen it. But because I tend to finf there is not a ton of correlation between those who behave poorly and the weirdos/trolls who frequent just about everywhere. I understand people making requirements for what they dont want but what I dont really see the need for is: -shitty bodyshaming (fat men are disgusting/u cant satisfy me with an average cock...VWE!!) -Homophobia -Closeted bigotry Are we going to blame that on "shitty messages"?? LOL, come on. " you will find that on any forum on the internet.unless this site is getting to you for whatever reason you must understand that it's THE INTERNET not this site that you see the problem in.Just go look at the comment section of anything on YouTube.that place is ruthless and will make this place look like heaven lol.bacicly the worst of people come out when you place distance or screen in front of them.kind of like the guy that would say shit to his friends but not to your face.now apply that to the internet . | |||
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"I think that is a little unfair. I suppose as a single guy who is not in to the lifestyle dating a woman who has had numerous nsa partners it may seem for want of a better expression " threatening" as they may feel they would be being compared to other guys. However what about the vanilla women who have had numerous partners. Is it not the same ?. For all those those ladies on fabs please don't think I Jez am judging any of you. I hold the opinion that if it's ok for guys then why not women." My issue has never been with women who have had NSA sex. Its the baggage that tends to come with it. Kinda irks me to see everyone on Fab sitting here telling me that its not a thing and then having to listen to a meet tell me about all the times they used to cut themselves in the past. As said, there is not a uniform correlation, there never is. But I dont think people understand that by always excusing said behavior, they're pretty much enabling it. | |||
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Like a few have said already, you don't like it...door is open! | |||
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"Well if I'm honest I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a guy on fab This is just a stop cap for me until I want to go down the relationship road again I was actually just thinking this. I remember a bunch of threads where women on here said they wouldn't date a guy from here. It makes sense that both sexes would feel this way to some extent. I don't think fab is a good medium for shedding the best light on eachother for dating purposes. Women say they wont date a guy on here...but its not really true is it? Just type in "relationship" into the search tab and see the lions share of threads about starting relationships on here are made by women. Add to that, we all know how much male infidelity is frowned upon here...I fail to see how such status could possibly be relevant unless people were indeed interested in meeting those beyond the physical level. " What does physical level mean ? | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. Have you considered that this shitty behaviour you speak of is in response to other shitty behaviour? Web have lost decorum and messaged people bluntly to leave us alone after annoying, rude or insulting messages, not to mention unsolicited friend requests. I am not saying YOU do this but perhaps this behaviour is a response to the toxic behaviour they encounter from others. I'm not justifying it, just offering my 2 cents. No, actually. Not because people dont get bombarded with stalkers and weirdo...I've seen it. But because I tend to finf there is not a ton of correlation between those who behave poorly and the weirdos/trolls who frequent just about everywhere. I understand people making requirements for what they dont want but what I dont really see the need for is: -shitty bodyshaming (fat men are disgusting/u cant satisfy me with an average cock...VWE!!) -Homophobia -Closeted bigotry Are we going to blame that on "shitty messages"?? LOL, come on. you will find that on any forum on the internet.unless this site is getting to you for whatever reason you must understand that it's THE INTERNET not this site that you see the problem in.Just go look at the comment section of anything on YouTube.that place is ruthless and will make this place look like heaven lol.bacicly the worst of people come out when you place distance or screen in front of them.kind of like the guy that would say shit to his friends but not to your face.now apply that to the internet ."True. But I am never gonna meet the trolls on Youtube...you actually might with the people on here. So, as said in the OP, maybe its us guys fault for not putting our foot down and saying no to shit we dont like. But, lets not pretend as if bad attitudes online are not completely divorced from real life. I never met anyone with a shitty personality online who turned out to be a "gem" in the real world. Soon enough the levy would break, and the outer shell would reveal the very troll that you would see posting online. | |||
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"You seem to come across as if you think you are NOT one of these "weirdo's/stalkers/abusers/troll's" that give females/couples a hard time on here, but are in fact one of the "good guys"...WRONG! You are in fact doing that very thing with this thread. Oh please don't give me that everyone is entitled to their opinion, this is indeed true, but publically "bashing"(as that is what you are doing no matter how you dress it up) a certain group/gender is NOT ok, just because you took a poll from "friends"! Like a few have said already, you don't like it...door is open! "well said! nasty,pejorative post. | |||
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"Well if I'm honest I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a guy on fab This is just a stop cap for me until I want to go down the relationship road again I was actually just thinking this. I remember a bunch of threads where women on here said they wouldn't date a guy from here. It makes sense that both sexes would feel this way to some extent. I don't think fab is a good medium for shedding the best light on eachother for dating purposes. Women say they wont date a guy on here...but its not really true is it? Just type in "relationship" into the search tab and see the lions share of threads about starting relationships on here are made by women. Add to that, we all know how much male infidelity is frowned upon here...I fail to see how such status could possibly be relevant unless people were indeed interested in meeting those beyond the physical level. What does physical level mean ?" NSA sex. We cannot sit and pretend that ones marital status is in anyway relevant to ones suitability for a sexual encounter. | |||
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"You seem to come across as if you think you are NOT one of these "weirdo's/stalkers/abusers/troll's" that give females/couples a hard time on here, but are in fact one of the "good guys"...WRONG! You are in fact doing that very thing with this thread. Oh please don't give me that everyone is entitled to their opinion, this is indeed true, but publically "bashing"(as that is what you are doing no matter how you dress it up) a certain group/gender is NOT ok, just because you took a poll from "friends"! Like a few have said already, you don't like it...door is open! "Hmmm...I wonder if this thread was about men, would u have come to the same conclusion...? I sincerely doubt it. I bet your message history would make that apparent. | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. Is this fact or your opinion. The only fact I have to offer is the dissolution rate in non-monogamous relationships is higher. I would not really offer an opinion on how "happy" these relationships are as 1. I'm not well enough informed and 2. Happiness/fulfillment are not quantifiable metrics and are open to reporting bias. But if the break up rate is higher then its likely indicative of the points that I made. " I see where you are coming from however the dynamics of the individuals are the key factor. From what I read (and I'm probably wrong) is you are basing everything on experiences you have had with women and or couples from this site. By trying to attach numbers to an infinatly variable scene you will just end up winding yourself up in the long run. | |||
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"You seem to come across as if you think you are NOT one of these "weirdo's/stalkers/abusers/troll's" that give females/couples a hard time on here, but are in fact one of the "good guys"...WRONG! You are in fact doing that very thing with this thread. Oh please don't give me that everyone is entitled to their opinion, this is indeed true, but publically "bashing"(as that is what you are doing no matter how you dress it up) a certain group/gender is NOT ok, just because you took a poll from "friends"! Like a few have said already, you don't like it...door is open!
Hmmm...I wonder if this thread was about men, would u have come to the same conclusion...? I sincerely doubt it. I bet your message history would make that apparent. "Judge jury and executioner! Sums it up I think. Oh just so you know, you would loose your bet. | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button. " | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button. "Thats just intellectual laziness really. | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me "I think possibly what you are forgetting op and I am not having a pop at you. Is Lot's of women are on here swinging for precisely the reasons that you point out. I mean lots, don't want a relationship,they don't want fuss and baggage. There are probably a fair few single mums who aren't looking for a baby daddy. They just need some sexual relief without any strings. And many may not be ready for a relationship at this time. Hence some of the seemingly picky demands,but that's only to fit around their lives. Admittedly it doesn't excuse rudness and time wasters,but from our experience thus far swinger's are the same as everyone else,we are Everyman or woman a cross section of society and representative of pretty of all types from dinner ladies to judges, unemployed and teachers and everything in-between. Point being is that swinging is pretty much the same as dating it just cuts out all the bullshit in the middle and most don't want to marry you. If it's a life partner you seek op then perhaps this isn't the place for you. However who is to say that your next meet could maybe your soulmate and you will find love eternal. Or you could bump into them walking out of co-op. It's easy to make rash sweeping statements on here and judge people without all of the information. But from our perspective we don't want to know about people's life history ,all the gory details of love's lost. We like socializing,we like shagging. We are deeply in love and have been for over 30 years and will be until the day we die. Some people enjoy going to church together,somewhere enjoy getting pissed together, football, badminton, amateur dramatics....... It just happens we enjoy boffing other people together. It doesn't make us bad people , just people who enjoy the same thing. Happy swinging | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. Is this fact or your opinion. The only fact I have to offer is the dissolution rate in non-monogamous relationships is higher. I would not really offer an opinion on how "happy" these relationships are as 1. I'm not well enough informed and 2. Happiness/fulfillment are not quantifiable metrics and are open to reporting bias. But if the break up rate is higher then its likely indicative of the points that I made. I see where you are coming from however the dynamics of the individuals are the key factor. From what I read (and I'm probably wrong) is you are basing everything on experiences you have had with women and or couples from this site. By trying to attach numbers to an infinatly variable scene you will just end up winding yourself up in the long run. " Yeah, its mainly this site. What you need to remember is swinging is not entirely this site. I am merely talking about this site, not swinging in general. My OP makes that apparent. Everything about this site, the verification system, lack of paywall, cliques...will exacerbate the problem. That does not mean that Fab is the progenitor of all swinging's evils, but there are dynamics which contribute to shitty behavior. Call it a buyers market if you may. And you see it in the comments, people who refuse to engage and dangle the concept of their "blocking" as a lame and shitty attempt to shame dissenting opinion into silence. And its not coming from the men...interestingly enough. | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me
I think possibly what you are forgetting op and I am not having a pop at you.
Is
Lot's of women are on here swinging for precisely the reasons that you point out.
I mean lots, don't want a relationship,they don't want fuss and baggage.
There are probably a fair few single mums who aren't looking for a baby daddy.
They just need some sexual relief without any strings.
And many may not be ready for a relationship at this time.
Hence some of the seemingly picky demands,but that's only to fit around their lives.
Admittedly it doesn't excuse rudness and time wasters,but from our experience thus far swinger's are the same as everyone else,we are Everyman or woman a cross section of society and representative of pretty of all types from dinner ladies to judges, unemployed and teachers and everything in-between.
Point being is that swinging is pretty much the same as dating it just cuts out all the bullshit in the middle and most don't want to marry you.
If it's a life partner you seek op then perhaps this isn't the place for you.
However who is to say that your next meet could maybe your soulmate and you will find love eternal.
Or you could bump into them walking out of co-op.
It's easy to make rash sweeping statements on here and judge people without all of the information.
But from our perspective we don't want to know about people's life history ,all the gory details of love's lost.
We like socializing,we like shagging.
We are deeply in love and have been for over 30 years and will be until the day we die.
Some people enjoy going to church together,somewhere enjoy getting pissed together, football, badminton, amateur dramatics.......
It just happens we enjoy boffing other people together.
It doesn't make us bad people , just people who enjoy the same thing.
Happy swinging"I just love that reply Jools and brain. Very succinctly put | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me
I think possibly what you are forgetting op and I am not having a pop at you.
Is
Lot's of women are on here swinging for precisely the reasons that you point out.
I mean lots, don't want a relationship,they don't want fuss and baggage.
There are probably a fair few single mums who aren't looking for a baby daddy.
They just need some sexual relief without any strings.
And many may not be ready for a relationship at this time.
Hence some of the seemingly picky demands,but that's only to fit around their lives.
Admittedly it doesn't excuse rudness and time wasters,but from our experience thus far swinger's are the same as everyone else,we are Everyman or woman a cross section of society and representative of pretty of all types from dinner ladies to judges, unemployed and teachers and everything in-between.
Point being is that swinging is pretty much the same as dating it just cuts out all the bullshit in the middle and most don't want to marry you.
If it's a life partner you seek op then perhaps this isn't the place for you.
However who is to say that your next meet could maybe your soulmate and you will find love eternal.
Or you could bump into them walking out of co-op.
It's easy to make rash sweeping statements on here and judge people without all of the information.
But from our perspective we don't want to know about people's life history ,all the gory details of love's lost.
We like socializing,we like shagging.
We are deeply in love and have been for over 30 years and will be until the day we die.
Some people enjoy going to church together,somewhere enjoy getting pissed together, football, badminton, amateur dramatics.......
It just happens we enjoy boffing other people together.
It doesn't make us bad people , just people who enjoy the same thing.
Happy swinging" | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really. "No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action. | |||
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"Hmm. I dunno. Seems a bit of a generalization to me. I've met couples and singles on fab who clearly have what I would consider to be unhealthy relationships but I've also met couples and singles who have really healthy and positive relationships, often better than people I know who aren't into swinging. I think it really depends on the people, as with most things in life. " | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. Is this fact or your opinion. The only fact I have to offer is the dissolution rate in non-monogamous relationships is higher. I would not really offer an opinion on how "happy" these relationships are as 1. I'm not well enough informed and 2. Happiness/fulfillment are not quantifiable metrics and are open to reporting bias. But if the break up rate is higher then its likely indicative of the points that I made. I see where you are coming from however the dynamics of the individuals are the key factor. From what I read (and I'm probably wrong) is you are basing everything on experiences you have had with women and or couples from this site. By trying to attach numbers to an infinatly variable scene you will just end up winding yourself up in the long run. Yeah, its mainly this site. What you need to remember is swinging is not entirely this site. I am merely talking about this site, not swinging in general. My OP makes that apparent. Everything about this site, the verification system, lack of paywall, cliques...will exacerbate the problem. That does not mean that Fab is the progenitor of all swinging's evils, but there are dynamics which contribute to shitty behavior. Call it a buyers market if you may. And you see it in the comments, people who refuse to engage and dangle the concept of their "blocking" as a lame and shitty attempt to shame dissenting opinion into silence. And its not coming from the men...interestingly enough. " You aren't having a "pop" at the men...interestingly enough! If you attack someone, verbally or otherwise, I am sure you are aware that a retaliation is likely to follow. | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action. " | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. Is this fact or your opinion. The only fact I have to offer is the dissolution rate in non-monogamous relationships is higher. I would not really offer an opinion on how "happy" these relationships are as 1. I'm not well enough informed and 2. Happiness/fulfillment are not quantifiable metrics and are open to reporting bias. But if the break up rate is higher then its likely indicative of the points that I made. I see where you are coming from however the dynamics of the individuals are the key factor. From what I read (and I'm probably wrong) is you are basing everything on experiences you have had with women and or couples from this site. By trying to attach numbers to an infinatly variable scene you will just end up winding yourself up in the long run. Yeah, its mainly this site. What you need to remember is swinging is not entirely this site. I am merely talking about this site, not swinging in general. My OP makes that apparent. Everything about this site, the verification system, lack of paywall, cliques...will exacerbate the problem. That does not mean that Fab is the progenitor of all swinging's evils, but there are dynamics which contribute to shitty behavior. Call it a buyers market if you may. And you see it in the comments, people who refuse to engage and dangle the concept of their "blocking" as a lame and shitty attempt to shame dissenting opinion into silence. And its not coming from the men...interestingly enough. You aren't having a "pop" at the men...interestingly enough! If you attack someone, verbally or otherwise, I am sure you are aware that a retaliation is likely to follow." A generalized observation is not an attack. How pathetic. How about being mature? Tried that? | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action. "Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us. As I said before, it's an interesting thread. | |||
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"Well if I'm honest I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a guy on fab This is just a stop cap for me until I want to go down the relationship road again I was actually just thinking this. I remember a bunch of threads where women on here said they wouldn't date a guy from here. It makes sense that both sexes would feel this way to some extent. I don't think fab is a good medium for shedding the best light on eachother for dating purposes. Women say they wont date a guy on here...but its not really true is it? Just type in "relationship" into the search tab and see the lions share of threads about starting relationships on here are made by women. Add to that, we all know how much male infidelity is frowned upon here...I fail to see how such status could possibly be relevant unless people were indeed interested in meeting those beyond the physical level. " I don't find that convincing. There are women looking for a relationship. Yes. But there are men here looking for the same. I would agree there are probably more women looking for it than men, but you can't take specific examples of people looking for relationships and generalize to the whole. I think that's the main flaw of this thread. There have been plenty of women who have said they wouldn't date a guy from fab. I distinctly remember a few threads about it because I thought they were a bit funny (some women said they wouldn't want a guy on fab because he would be too into sex, some said they thought he'd be more likely to cheat because he already exhibits a penchant for multiple partners, other said they wouldn't because the guys in their age range on here who are single are single for a reason...the list goes on). There are women and men looking for relationships on here, and there are women and men who wouldn't date anyone from here. As to the latter, I find, as I said earlier, that it makes sense to me because this isn't a medium conducive to seeing the best in the opposite sex for relationship purposes - in my opinion. Anyway, I generally agree with your posts here about women and couples acting rudely much of the time. Some act entitled. This environment seems to entice some people into that type of behavior. Men have their own bad behaviors which form as a result as well, though. Although I tend to think these behaviors are exhibited more commonly by women and couples. As for your last point, I care about someone's marital status and I'm not interested in anything beyond a physical relationship. I won't get into it here as it's tangential to the thread, but there are reasons why someone would care (beyond emotional, relationship-seeking ones). | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. Is this fact or your opinion. The only fact I have to offer is the dissolution rate in non-monogamous relationships is higher. I would not really offer an opinion on how "happy" these relationships are as 1. I'm not well enough informed and 2. Happiness/fulfillment are not quantifiable metrics and are open to reporting bias. But if the break up rate is higher then its likely indicative of the points that I made. I see where you are coming from however the dynamics of the individuals are the key factor. From what I read (and I'm probably wrong) is you are basing everything on experiences you have had with women and or couples from this site. By trying to attach numbers to an infinatly variable scene you will just end up winding yourself up in the long run. Yeah, its mainly this site. What you need to remember is swinging is not entirely this site. I am merely talking about this site, not swinging in general. My OP makes that apparent. Everything about this site, the verification system, lack of paywall, cliques...will exacerbate the problem. That does not mean that Fab is the progenitor of all swinging's evils, but there are dynamics which contribute to shitty behavior. Call it a buyers market if you may. And you see it in the comments, people who refuse to engage and dangle the concept of their "blocking" as a lame and shitty attempt to shame dissenting opinion into silence. And its not coming from the men...interestingly enough. You aren't having a "pop" at the men...interestingly enough! If you attack someone, verbally or otherwise, I am sure you are aware that a retaliation is likely to follow. A generalized observation is not an attack. How pathetic. How about being mature? Tried that?" lol...Touché | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me
I think possibly what you are forgetting op and I am not having a pop at you.
Is
Lot's of women are on here swinging for precisely the reasons that you point out.
I mean lots, don't want a relationship,they don't want fuss and baggage.
There are probably a fair few single mums who aren't looking for a baby daddy.
They just need some sexual relief without any strings.
And many may not be ready for a relationship at this time.
Hence some of the seemingly picky demands,but that's only to fit around their lives.
Admittedly it doesn't excuse rudness and time wasters,but from our experience thus far swinger's are the same as everyone else,we are Everyman or woman a cross section of society and representative of pretty of all types from dinner ladies to judges, unemployed and teachers and everything in-between.
Point being is that swinging is pretty much the same as dating it just cuts out all the bullshit in the middle and most don't want to marry you.
If it's a life partner you seek op then perhaps this isn't the place for you.
However who is to say that your next meet could maybe your soulmate and you will find love eternal.
Or you could bump into them walking out of co-op.
It's easy to make rash sweeping statements on here and judge people without all of the information.
But from our perspective we don't want to know about people's life history ,all the gory details of love's lost.
We like socializing,we like shagging.
We are deeply in love and have been for over 30 years and will be until the day we die.
Some people enjoy going to church together,somewhere enjoy getting pissed together, football, badminton, amateur dramatics.......
It just happens we enjoy boffing other people together.
It doesn't make us bad people , just people who enjoy the same thing.
Happy swinging" | |||
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" There have been plenty of women who have said they wouldn't date a guy from fab. I distinctly remember a few threads about it because I thought they were a bit funny (some women said they wouldn't want a guy on fab because he would be too into sex, some said they thought he'd be more likely to cheat because he already exhibits a penchant for multiple partners, other said they wouldn't because the guys in their age range on here who are single are single for a reason...the list goes on). There are women and men looking for relationships on here, and there are women and men who wouldn't date anyone from here. As to the latter, I find, as I said earlier, that it makes sense to me because this isn't a medium conducive to seeing the best in the opposite sex for relationship purposes - in my opinion. " I cant really argue with any of this TBH. At least this paragraph in particular. | |||
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"I understand people making requirements for what they dont want but what I dont really see the need for is: -shitty bodyshaming (fat men are disgusting/u cant satisfy me with an average cock...VWE!!) " | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. " this | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. Have you considered that this shitty behaviour you speak of is in response to other shitty behaviour? Web have lost decorum and messaged people bluntly to leave us alone after annoying, rude or insulting messages, not to mention unsolicited friend requests. I am not saying YOU do this but perhaps this behaviour is a response to the toxic behaviour they encounter from others. I'm not justifying it, just offering my 2 cents. No, actually. Not because people dont get bombarded with stalkers and weirdo...I've seen it. But because I tend to finf there is not a ton of correlation between those who behave poorly and the weirdos/trolls who frequent just about everywhere. I understand people making requirements for what they dont want but what I dont really see the need for is: -shitty bodyshaming (fat men are disgusting/u cant satisfy me with an average cock...VWE!!) -Homophobia -Closeted bigotry Are we going to blame that on "shitty messages"?? LOL, come on. you will find that on any forum on the internet.unless this site is getting to you for whatever reason you must understand that it's THE INTERNET not this site that you see the problem in.Just go look at the comment section of anything on YouTube.that place is ruthless and will make this place look like heaven lol.bacicly the worst of people come out when you place distance or screen in front of them.kind of like the guy that would say shit to his friends but not to your face.now apply that to the internet .
True. But I am never gonna meet the trolls on Youtube...you actually might with the people on here. So, as said in the OP, maybe its us guys fault for not putting our foot down and saying no to shit we dont like. But, lets not pretend as if bad attitudes online are not completely divorced from real life. I never met anyone with a shitty personality online who turned out to be a "gem" in the real world. Soon enough the levy would break, and the outer shell would reveal the very troll that you would see posting online. "yea but I wouldint meet anyone that has a shitty attitude anyway.thing is there are assholes everywhere I just deal with it in my own way and certainly don't fuck em lol.i agree with some of your points and to be honast I wouldn't use this site anyway as a single male it's way to much hassle from what I have seen, like i said about the whole internet effect thing, and being moderately attractive I never had the need to use sites to find fun.we use this to be completely honast purely for when we have nights out and with the high that we seek and our state of mind at the time we look for kinky encounters which just wouldint happen in vanila life and we like that there is somewhere to find this.so anything else to do with the site is pointles,funny or irrelevent so personally don't understand how people can get wound up or let it affect their way of thinking to the extent of your post for example . | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me
I think possibly what you are forgetting op and I am not having a pop at you.
Is
Lot's of women are on here swinging for precisely the reasons that you point out.
I mean lots, don't want a relationship,they don't want fuss and baggage.
There are probably a fair few single mums who aren't looking for a baby daddy.
They just need some sexual relief without any strings.
And many may not be ready for a relationship at this time.
Hence some of the seemingly picky demands,but that's only to fit around their lives.
Admittedly it doesn't excuse rudness and time wasters,but from our experience thus far swinger's are the same as everyone else,we are Everyman or woman a cross section of society and representative of pretty of all types from dinner ladies to judges, unemployed and teachers and everything in-between.
Point being is that swinging is pretty much the same as dating it just cuts out all the bullshit in the middle and most don't want to marry you.
If it's a life partner you seek op then perhaps this isn't the place for you.
However who is to say that your next meet could maybe your soulmate and you will find love eternal.
Or you could bump into them walking out of co-op.
It's easy to make rash sweeping statements on here and judge people without all of the information.
But from our perspective we don't want to know about people's life history ,all the gory details of love's lost.
We like socializing,we like shagging.
We are deeply in love and have been for over 30 years and will be until the day we die.
Some people enjoy going to church together,somewhere enjoy getting pissed together, football, badminton, amateur dramatics.......
It just happens we enjoy boffing other people together.
It doesn't make us bad people , just people who enjoy the same thing.
Happy swinging"Great post We too are in swinging for fun and meeting some interesting people from all walks of life. We're in love and enjoy swinging. Why not! | |||
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"Thing is - fab isn’t a dating site is it? It’s a sex site. If you’re looking for someone to date then it’s probably best to approach them somewhere else. Half of the women on here are (and I don’t mean this negatively) well experienced and know what they want and are probably on here for a good time rather than anything serious." Here is the thing I have an issue with...just because it is a sex site, why can there not be a level of mutual respect shared between people? Even if it is an NSA site, I find the desperate need of many to dehumanise others (even when in many cases said individuals have experienced the cavalcade of weirdo dudes on here) actually indicative of the fact that many are not as comfortable with the lifestyle as it seems...reminds me of the thread where many complained about the sheer amount of d*unks you find at swinging venues. | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me "What is your point exactly, please explain. You are on a site of a sexual nature but are accusing other members of not having any decorum. Your statement about opening legs is clearly aimed at females. So it's okay for a man to find a woman to squirt his sticky stuff from his aching bollocks then but not okay for women....you do realize this is 2017 don't you? Are you related to Mary Whitehouse? XXX | |||
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"not looking for a relationship but I want some sex. that doesn't mean I can't have proper relationships be it a romanic one or a friendship. with men and women. it simply means that sex and feelings can be separated... Yeah but this is my point. Reducing men to walking penises and then thinking you're going to get up and waltz into a healthy relationship? I mean, who are we really fooling?? Every fuckbuddy who turned into a longterm thing I was with, I dealt with on a level where we had at least some level of mutual respect for eachother. Sitting there with a laundry list of physical and sexual requirements and then thinking that you'll be able to lead from these into something more substantial is comical at best. " who is saying I see man as a walking penis? I had many great meets with drinks, interesting conversations and lots of laughter. it's about enjoying physical contact and exploring your sexuality. sex in a relationship is different because it doesn't only involve my body but my soul as well- a deep conection with someone. | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me
What is your point exactly, please explain. You are on a site of a sexual nature but are accusing other members of not having any decorum. Your statement about opening legs is clearly aimed at females. So it's okay for a man to find a woman to squirt his sticky stuff from his aching bollocks then but not okay for women....you do realize this is 2017 don't you? Are you related to Mary Whitehouse? XXX"This is not even remotely what I said, but if it makes u feel better to think I'm just another prude...have at it. | |||
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"Thing is - fab isn’t a dating site is it? It’s a sex site. If you’re looking for someone to date then it’s probably best to approach them somewhere else. Half of the women on here are (and I don’t mean this negatively) well experienced and know what they want and are probably on here for a good time rather than anything serious. Here is the thing I have an issue with...just because it is a sex site, why can there not be a level of mutual respect shared between people? Even if it is an NSA site, I find the desperate need of many to dehumanise others (even when in many cases said individuals have experienced the cavalcade of weirdo dudes on here) actually indicative of the fact that many are not as comfortable with the lifestyle as it seems...reminds me of the thread where many complained about the sheer amount of d*unks you find at swinging venues. " Yeah maybe so dude but I think it goes both ways too - not to expect too much from others on here. It’s just some fun I wouldn’t take it personally if people are passively rude (ignoring messages etc.). If they try and humiliate you intentionally then I guess that’s a different matter. | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me "So what your saying is that you moaned to a bunch of mates about how you were unsuccessful on fab and they all agreed with you that it was a shit place to meet other people? Apart from the timewasters which are pretty easy to spot people generally have different wants and needs of why they are here - just because they don't fit with your needs and wants doesn't make them rude. We have met lots and lots of couples who are fun, intelligent, quirky, attractive and love sex. (And a few singles along the way) If this site doesn't work for you then get out in the real world and talk to people. | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread."Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded. | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me
So what your saying is that you moaned to a bunch of mates about how you were unsuccessful on fab and they all agreed with you that it was a shit place to meet other people?
Apart from the timewasters which are pretty easy to spot people generally have different wants and needs of why they are here - just because they don't fit with your needs and wants doesn't make them rude.
We have met lots and lots of couples who are fun, intelligent, quirky, attractive and love sex. (And a few singles along the way)
If this site doesn't work for you then get out in the real world and talk to people. ". | |||
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"Thing is - fab isn’t a dating site is it? It’s a sex site. If you’re looking for someone to date then it’s probably best to approach them somewhere else. Half of the women on here are (and I don’t mean this negatively) well experienced and know what they want and are probably on here for a good time rather than anything serious. Here is the thing I have an issue with...just because it is a sex site, why can there not be a level of mutual respect shared between people? Even if it is an NSA site, I find the desperate need of many to dehumanise others (even when in many cases said individuals have experienced the cavalcade of weirdo dudes on here) actually indicative of the fact that many are not as comfortable with the lifestyle as it seems...reminds me of the thread where many complained about the sheer amount of d*unks you find at swinging venues. Yeah maybe so dude but I think it goes both ways too - not to expect too much from others on here. It’s just some fun I wouldn’t take it personally if people are passively rude (ignoring messages etc.). If they try and humiliate you intentionally then I guess that’s a different matter." It ALWAYS goes both ways. But, lets be real...the men are often reprimanded for this behavior. Hell, you dont even have to scroll to the end of the forum to make that observation apparent. | |||
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"Well if I'm honest I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a guy on fab This is just a stop cap for me until I want to go down the relationship road again Actually in my case it is true I was actually just thinking this. I remember a bunch of threads where women on here said they wouldn't date a guy from here. It makes sense that both sexes would feel this way to some extent. I don't think fab is a good medium for shedding the best light on eachother for dating purposes. Women say they wont date a guy on here...but its not really true is it? Just type in "relationship" into the search tab and see the lions share of threads about starting relationships on here are made by women. Add to that, we all know how much male infidelity is frowned upon here...I fail to see how such status could possibly be relevant unless people were indeed interested in meeting those beyond the physical level. " | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread.
Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded.
"No, he's right. It touched a nerve. I never visited your profile which leads to believe I was probably never interested from the pictures I have seen. But if being "disregarded" by someone I was never interested in is meant to act as somekind of disincentive, it wont. And hence, here you are, making a fool out of yourself with a self worth so low that you feel you have to ration your pussy in exchange for consensus. Some of u are so lame... | |||
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"Thing is - fab isn’t a dating site is it? It’s a sex site. If you’re looking for someone to date then it’s probably best to approach them somewhere else. Half of the women on here are (and I don’t mean this negatively) well experienced and know what they want and are probably on here for a good time rather than anything serious. Here is the thing I have an issue with...just because it is a sex site, why can there not be a level of mutual respect shared between people? Even if it is an NSA site, I find the desperate need of many to dehumanise others (even when in many cases said individuals have experienced the cavalcade of weirdo dudes on here) actually indicative of the fact that many are not as comfortable with the lifestyle as it seems...reminds me of the thread where many complained about the sheer amount of d*unks you find at swinging venues. " I think perhaps the correlation between manners and Internet sites can be related to the anonymity of said site. The more anonymous an individual can be the more abrupt rude aggressive picky the person could be. If only security technology of pictures stealing, verification checks and such could ensure everyone was who they say they are then I doubt you'd see half the horrible behaviour you see here. Ive never been to a party and had anyone speak to me in a manner I've been spoken to on here from both sexes. Again it also goes back to relationships a person willing to meet a headless body with a few lines in profile says alot about what they want from that person and is hardly a good basis for a relationship however upon meeting something may develop beyond the initial that looks like a pleasant torso but agree its hardly a good place to start but then fate is a strange thing. Mrs x | |||
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"To be honest it was the title of the thread that put most people of" This! Oh, and the apparent arrogance and inability to consider ANY other opinion by the OP! | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread.
Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded.
No, he's right. It touched a nerve. I never visited your profile which leads to believe I was probably never interested from the pictures I have seen. But if being "disregarded" by someone I was never interested in is meant to act as somekind of disincentive, it wont. And hence, here you are, making a fool out of yourself with a self worth so low that you feel you have to ration your pussy in exchange for consensus.
Some of u are so lame..."How very rude you are  | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread.
Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded.
No, he's right. It touched a nerve. I never visited your profile which leads to believe I was probably never interested from the pictures I have seen. But if being "disregarded" by someone I was never interested in is meant to act as somekind of disincentive, it wont. And hence, here you are, making a fool out of yourself with a self worth so low that you feel you have to ration your pussy in exchange for consensus.
Some of u are so lame..."Doesn't take too long for ones true colours to show! | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread.
Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded.
No, he's right. It touched a nerve. I never visited your profile which leads to believe I was probably never interested from the pictures I have seen. But if being "disregarded" by someone I was never interested in is meant to act as somekind of disincentive, it wont. And hence, here you are, making a fool out of yourself with a self worth so low that you feel you have to ration your pussy in exchange for consensus.
Some of u are so lame...
Doesn't take too long for ones true colours to show! "yup and the thing is op is ironicly behaving like what he is complaining about . | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread.
Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded.
No, he's right. It touched a nerve. I never visited your profile which leads to believe I was probably never interested from the pictures I have seen. But if being "disregarded" by someone I was never interested in is meant to act as somekind of disincentive, it wont. And hence, here you are, making a fool out of yourself with a self worth so low that you feel you have to ration your pussy in exchange for consensus.
Some of u are so lame...
Doesn't take too long for ones true colours to show! yup and the thing is op is ironicly behaving like what he is complaining about ."Yep...the point I made when I first posted on this thread. The chances of the OP understanding that are very little though....don't ya think? lol | |||
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"What is the official break-up rate for swinging marriages and what is the official breakup rate for non-swinging marriages. And for those who break up after swinging, is it because of swinging? Or would they have broken up irrespective of swinging ? Mrs" Very interesting point. I think that couple's who break up after and during swinging where probably already on the path of no return long before starting swinging, maybe some sort of misguided belief that swinging could solve marital problems ? Not sure what the ratio compared to non swinger's,but that's probably higher due to the amount of non swinger's is higher anyway. But I would imagine that if it were possible to do a direct comparison I would say it would probably be round the same. Mainly because swinger's are normal people anyway,we are not some sub species . However people in the vanilla world would probably have a different opinion on this! | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. Is this fact or your opinion. The only fact I have to offer is the dissolution rate in non-monogamous relationships is higher. I would not really offer an opinion on how "happy" these relationships are as 1. I'm not well enough informed and 2. Happiness/fulfillment are not quantifiable metrics and are open to reporting bias. But if the break up rate is higher then its likely indicative of the points that I made. " Mate chill out | |||
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"I wonder if your friends have been smugly married/attached for a long time and have no idea about the online dating scene? In almost 20 years' experience of it on various sites, I think I can safely say that there is no difference between Fab and any other "conventional" dating site, they're all about NSA sex these days." Totally agree | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread.
Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded.
No, he's right. It touched a nerve. I never visited your profile which leads to believe I was probably never interested from the pictures I have seen. But if being "disregarded" by someone I was never interested in is meant to act as somekind of disincentive, it wont. And hence, here you are, making a fool out of yourself with a self worth so low that you feel you have to ration your pussy in exchange for consensus.
Some of u are so lame...
Doesn't take too long for ones true colours to show! yup and the thing is op is ironicly behaving like what he is complaining about ."Hmmm...seems like it was was all gravy before. Let's be honest the whole "I'm gonna block you because you said something I didn't like" is an attempt at gaslighting...lets be for real. And it is not every woman in this thread...just a select minority who want to use their sexuality as a battering chip for agreement. It's poor form. | |||
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Cheers | |||
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"Is the OP saying about people being rude and treating men like walking penises and not respecting them as a person so there fore they will find it hard to have relationships if that’s how they think? Is that right? " | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. " I concur | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. Have you considered that this shitty behaviour you speak of is in response to other shitty behaviour? Web have lost decorum and messaged people bluntly to leave us alone after annoying, rude or insulting messages, not to mention unsolicited friend requests. I am not saying YOU do this but perhaps this behaviour is a response to the toxic behaviour they encounter from others. I'm not justifying it, just offering my 2 cents. No, actually. Not because people dont get bombarded with stalkers and weirdo...I've seen it. But because I tend to finf there is not a ton of correlation between those who behave poorly and the weirdos/trolls who frequent just about everywhere. I understand people making requirements for what they dont want but what I dont really see the need for is: -shitty bodyshaming (fat men are disgusting/u cant satisfy me with an average cock...VWE!!) -Homophobia -Closeted bigotry Are we going to blame that on "shitty messages"?? LOL, come on. " Body shaming occurs for women too (just as appreciation does eg BBW, BBC). So why single out that the females are "undateables"? | |||
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"Well can I add that a year ago I met someone from fab and he became a good friend as well as a playmate. I had feelings for him too. However one evening whilst chatting he remarked that "I'm sorry we met on fab as it isn't ever going to be the same as meeting in vanilla world or through a dating site. I would prefer to meet a lady who was not into swinging sorry, if I am honest. I would never be.able to have trust." In essence he.meant that yes, his judgement was coloured - my being a 'fab' girl etc. I felt hurt and decided to draw a line under it after that. But his remarks did make me feel slightly cheap and used." It's a shame he made u feel like that. Really. But I feel you made this point because u may at least half understand the point I am making. I personally don't feel one can disengage from common courtesy in the process and walk away unscathed. If, either man or woman, is treating his partners (serious or otherwise) as a set of bodyparts then it does not bode well. Sometimes I feel a lot of guys on here no what I am talking about but will forgo saying it to continue selling dreams. The lack of single male contribution to this thread kinda makes that apparent. | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. " Tosh! | |||
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"met my mrs on here over two years ago. no issue "Gosh it's been that long | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread.
Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded.
No, he's right. It touched a nerve. I never visited your profile which leads to believe I was probably never interested from the pictures I have seen. But if being "disregarded" by someone I was never interested in is meant to act as somekind of disincentive, it wont. And hence, here you are, making a fool out of yourself with a self worth so low that you feel you have to ration your pussy in exchange for consensus.
Some of u are so lame...
Doesn't take too long for ones true colours to show! yup and the thing is op is ironicly behaving like what he is complaining about .
Hmmm...seems like it was was all gravy before. Let's be honest the whole "I'm gonna block you because you said something I didn't like" is an attempt at gaslighting...lets be for real. And it is not every woman in this thread...just a select minority who want to use their sexuality as a battering chip for agreement. It's poor form."No, but every women in this thread, and on Fab, isn't seen as "dating material" ....that's SO much better. | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. Have you considered that this shitty behaviour you speak of is in response to other shitty behaviour? Web have lost decorum and messaged people bluntly to leave us alone after annoying, rude or insulting messages, not to mention unsolicited friend requests. I am not saying YOU do this but perhaps this behaviour is a response to the toxic behaviour they encounter from others. I'm not justifying it, just offering my 2 cents. No, actually. Not because people dont get bombarded with stalkers and weirdo...I've seen it. But because I tend to finf there is not a ton of correlation between those who behave poorly and the weirdos/trolls who frequent just about everywhere. I understand people making requirements for what they dont want but what I dont really see the need for is: -shitty bodyshaming (fat men are disgusting/u cant satisfy me with an average cock...VWE!!) -Homophobia -Closeted bigotry Are we going to blame that on "shitty messages"?? LOL, come on. you will find that on any forum on the internet.unless this site is getting to you for whatever reason you must understand that it's THE INTERNET not this site that you see the problem in.Just go look at the comment section of anything on YouTube.that place is ruthless and will make this place look like heaven lol.bacicly the worst of people come out when you place distance or screen in front of them.kind of like the guy that would say shit to his friends but not to your face.now apply that to the internet .
True. But I am never gonna meet the trolls on Youtube...you actually might with the people on here. So, as said in the OP, maybe its us guys fault for not putting our foot down and saying no to shit we dont like. But, lets not pretend as if bad attitudes online are not completely divorced from real life. I never met anyone with a shitty personality online who turned out to be a "gem" in the real world. Soon enough the levy would break, and the outer shell would reveal the very troll that you would see posting online. "Why would you meet someone with a shitty online persona? | |||
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"Well can I add that a year ago I met someone from fab and he became a good friend as well as a playmate. I had feelings for him too. However one evening whilst chatting he remarked that "I'm sorry we met on fab as it isn't ever going to be the same as meeting in vanilla world or through a dating site. I would prefer to meet a lady who was not into swinging sorry, if I am honest. I would never be.able to have trust." In essence he.meant that yes, his judgement was coloured - my being a 'fab' girl etc. I felt hurt and decided to draw a line under it after that. But his remarks did make me feel slightly cheap and used. It's a shame he made u feel like that. Really. But I feel you made this point because u may at least half understand the point I am making. I personally don't feel one can disengage from common courtesy in the process and walk away unscathed. If, either man or woman, is treating his partners (serious or otherwise) as a set of bodyparts then it does not bode well. Sometimes I feel a lot of guys on here no what I am talking about but will forgo saying it to continue selling dreams. The lack of single male contribution to this thread kinda makes that apparent." Sorry to hear this Tracey. 
This is one of the sides of Fabs that works for some and not for others. Whilst the OP's points are not set in stone, how we treat and react to each other is highlighted in many different ways. I think we need to be honest with ourselves when it comes to our behavior here. | |||
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"Tell that to the people who got together on here They exist. I have met one or two...but they're an anomaly. And when you talk to them it becomes entirely apparent why they never really had trouble meeting in the first place. No, obviously not every single one on here is bad but there is a strong contingent of shitty behavior. I am not one to really do the "woe is me" single male shit but its starting to become also irksome. Have you considered that this shitty behaviour you speak of is in response to other shitty behaviour? Web have lost decorum and messaged people bluntly to leave us alone after annoying, rude or insulting messages, not to mention unsolicited friend requests. I am not saying YOU do this but perhaps this behaviour is a response to the toxic behaviour they encounter from others. I'm not justifying it, just offering my 2 cents. No, actually. Not because people dont get bombarded with stalkers and weirdo...I've seen it. But because I tend to finf there is not a ton of correlation between those who behave poorly and the weirdos/trolls who frequent just about everywhere. I understand people making requirements for what they dont want but what I dont really see the need for is: -shitty bodyshaming (fat men are disgusting/u cant satisfy me with an average cock...VWE!!) -Homophobia -Closeted bigotry Are we going to blame that on "shitty messages"?? LOL, come on. Body shaming occurs for women too (just as appreciation does eg BBW, BBC). So why single out that the females are "undateables"?" Oh indeed. I never said it doesnt. BUT, the lopsided nature of the gender ratio means that you get a lot less of the latter than the former. In the same way, you tend to get more misogynistic attitudes in male dominated work environments...yeah, some of that may be banter but it doesnt mean that every aspect of it is ok. | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. " This ... loads of people on here are on the other sites and they say they like the honesty of being on here rather than 'flowering' if up as a dating site
We met swinging and have discovered amazing things about each other , our kinks , our likes and dislikes and without fear the other is too 'vanilla' to approach about it
Maybe I'm less judgemental , nothing would have stopped me dating someone other than someone that's a cheat which is why I came off the said sites like POF because I came across more cheats on there than here pmsl
That's just my experience tho .... | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread.
Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded.
No, he's right. It touched a nerve. I never visited your profile which leads to believe I was probably never interested from the pictures I have seen. But if being "disregarded" by someone I was never interested in is meant to act as somekind of disincentive, it wont. And hence, here you are, making a fool out of yourself with a self worth so low that you feel you have to ration your pussy in exchange for consensus.
Some of u are so lame...
Doesn't take too long for ones true colours to show! yup and the thing is op is ironicly behaving like what he is complaining about ." what a horrible thing to say. | |||
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"Thing is - fab isn’t a dating site is it? It’s a sex site. If you’re looking for someone to date then it’s probably best to approach them somewhere else. Half of the women on here are (and I don’t mean this negatively) well experienced and know what they want and are probably on here for a good time rather than anything serious. Here is the thing I have an issue with...just because it is a sex site, why can there not be a level of mutual respect shared between people? Even if it is an NSA site, I find the desperate need of many to dehumanise others (even when in many cases said individuals have experienced the cavalcade of weirdo dudes on here) actually indicative of the fact that many are not as comfortable with the lifestyle as it seems...reminds me of the thread where many complained about the sheer amount of d*unks you find at swinging venues. Yeah maybe so dude but I think it goes both ways too - not to expect too much from others on here. It’s just some fun I wouldn’t take it personally if people are passively rude (ignoring messages etc.). If they try and humiliate you intentionally then I guess that’s a different matter. It ALWAYS goes both ways. But, lets be real...the men are often reprimanded for this behavior. Hell, you dont even have to scroll to the end of the forum to make that observation apparent. " So you think you're the first to even the score ? No chance. | |||
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"Love treads like this it saves so much time as you can go straight to the block button.
Thats just intellectual laziness really.
No but it touched a nerve I see I am sure many others reading will come to the same conclusion and take the same action.
Yes. It has touched a nerve for many. I'm sure we're all looking at our regulars now and wondering what they really think of us.
As I said before, it's an interesting thread.
Lol no the thread didn't touch a nerve the OP didn't like being permanently being disregarded.
No, he's right. It touched a nerve. I never visited your profile which leads to believe I was probably never interested from the pictures I have seen. But if being "disregarded" by someone I was never interested in is meant to act as somekind of disincentive, it wont. And hence, here you are, making a fool out of yourself with a self worth so low that you feel you have to ration your pussy in exchange for consensus.
Some of u are so lame..."God knows how you come to that conclusion  . | |||
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"I'm not sure what you are trying to say. What has how a woman uses the site got to do with people who don't use the site not wanting a relationship with her? The fact she's on here and possibly had sex with lots of men would surely be the reason men wouldn't touch her with a barge pole. " I'm glad I'm not the only one who found the OP confusing. | |||
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"I'm not sure what you are trying to say. What has how a woman uses the site got to do with people who don't use the site not wanting a relationship with her? The fact she's on here and possibly had sex with lots of men would surely be the reason men wouldn't touch her with a barge pole. I'm glad I'm not the only one who found the OP confusing." | |||
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"We got together on here.... just saying" Wait! I've got your fab relationship medal, hang on! 
I'm genuinely glad to see success stories. I'd imagine you were very patient and understanding with each other. So how did it come about? | |||
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"What it boils down to is, men want a wife who only allows him to have sex on a Sunday morning, and a filthy whore he sees on the side, for the satisfaction. That's so he can sit and talk to his mates/workmates about how pure his wife is and brag about the sex he gets with his slut. " LOL, I cant hate on that. Degree of truth to it. | |||
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"That’s actually a valid point then. But it cuts both ways there are guys who have serious women hating issues here. I don’t see the point of being a abusive to people " I didn't feel the guy meant to be abusive strangely enough -he was old fashioned in the sense that he obviously viewed women in two categories- as "bad, nawty girls" or the "nice" ones you want to take home to mum. In his eyes he obviously viewed fab ladies as easy meat. I think this terribly wrong and judgemental attitude is more indicative of an older generation. (My guy was 59). I obviously picked the wrong guy! But, we learn. | |||
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"That’s actually a valid point then. But it cuts both ways there are guys who have serious women hating issues here. I don’t see the point of being a abusive to people I didn't feel the guy meant to be abusive strangely enough -he was old fashioned in the sense that he obviously viewed women in two categories- as "bad, nawty girls" or the "nice" ones you want to take home to mum. In his eyes he obviously viewed fab ladies as easy meat. I think this terribly wrong and judgemental attitude is more indicative of an older generation. (My guy was 59). I obviously picked the wrong guy! But, we learn." LOL between Brexit, Trump, MRA's and all the other nonsense...trust me, the newer generation are not any better. Some were, quite fairly, confused at my original point. It was that attitudes towards women here can be unsavory, but thats often a kneejerk reaction to any woman partaking in sexual activity deemed "unladylike". For me, I actually tend to find that its not so much the sexual activity thats the problem but everything around that...its the fact that, on many cases, I find that the more promiscuous women (on here...its not often as common in other avenues) tend to come attached with so much baggage that they end up commodifying men. Whilst preferences are understandable, at times I wonder if spouting shit like "SIX PACKS/BBC/WHITE MEN ONLY/NO ASIANS/NO BLACKS/NO FATTIES/YOU FUCK AND THEN PISS OFF" is actually even a healthy way to be engaging in no string attached sex. As said, just because its sex, it doesnt mean all common courtesy falls through the window...then again, maybe all is fair in love and war | |||
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" Where do you think most of the single women disappear to? I know a half dozen ladies from the London scene in the past 6 months who have left the swinging world because they've found new relationships with non swingers. I've met three of their boyfriends socially and they're all aware of the pasts. One of them was one of the more hard-core girls on the scene and her man is OK with what happened So the initial post is essentially nonsense." Swinging does not make one immune to finding a relationship. Never has, never will (my point was more that, yes, swinging relationships tend to be less stable and swinging is not some kind of immunity to infidelity that many seem to think it is). Not what I said, not even close. I've known a few camgirls and even a few who engaged in porn on the side, and I tooo found that many had relationships...even more so than "vanilla" girls. But you often found a correlation with those with shitty personalities and abusive/non-existent relationships and those who were cool and had no issues finding a guy who could not care less about their past. | |||
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" Swinging does not make one immune to finding a relationship. Never has, never will (my point was more that, yes, swinging relationships tend to be less stable and swinging is not some kind of immunity to infidelity that many seem to think it is). Not what I said, not even close. I've known a few camgirls and even a few who engaged in porn on the side, and I tooo found that many had relationships...even more so than "vanilla" girls. But you often found a correlation with those with shitty personalities and abusive/non-existent relationships and those who were cool and had no issues finding a guy who could not care less about their past. " | |||
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"That’s actually a valid point then. But it cuts both ways there are guys who have serious women hating issues here. I don’t see the point of being a abusive to people I didn't feel the guy meant to be abusive strangely enough -he was old fashioned in the sense that he obviously viewed women in two categories- as "bad, nawty girls" or the "nice" ones you want to take home to mum. In his eyes he obviously viewed fab ladies as easy meat. I think this terribly wrong and judgemental attitude is more indicative of an older generation. (My guy was 59). I obviously picked the wrong guy! But, we learn. LOL between Brexit, Trump, MRA's and all the other nonsense...trust me, the newer generation are not any better. Some were, quite fairly, confused at my original point. It was that attitudes towards women here can be unsavory, but thats often a kneejerk reaction to any woman partaking in sexual activity deemed "unladylike". For me, I actually tend to find that its not so much the sexual activity thats the problem but everything around that...its the fact that, on many cases, I find that the more promiscuous women (on here...its not often as common in other avenues) tend to come attached with so much baggage that they end up commodifying men. Whilst preferences are understandable, at times I wonder if spouting shit like "SIX PACKS/BBC/WHITE MEN ONLY/NO ASIANS/NO BLACKS/NO FATTIES/YOU FUCK AND THEN PISS OFF" is actually even a healthy way to be engaging in no string attached sex. As said, just because its sex, it doesnt mean all common courtesy falls through the window...then again, maybe all is fair in love and war "There are many of us who don't engage in fuck n go and our preferences include intellect and humour, for example. It doesn't make us (male or female) any better than those who do engage in fuck n go. We are just different. The filters/preferences aren't so much rude (albeit how they are expressed) but shortcuts for time management. | |||
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"That’s actually a valid point then. But it cuts both ways there are guys who have serious women hating issues here. I don’t see the point of being a abusive to people I didn't feel the guy meant to be abusive strangely enough -he was old fashioned in the sense that he obviously viewed women in two categories- as "bad, nawty girls" or the "nice" ones you want to take home to mum. In his eyes he obviously viewed fab ladies as easy meat. I think this terribly wrong and judgemental attitude is more indicative of an older generation. (My guy was 59). I obviously picked the wrong guy! But, we learn. LOL between Brexit, Trump, MRA's and all the other nonsense...trust me, the newer generation are not any better. Some were, quite fairly, confused at my original point. It was that attitudes towards women here can be unsavory, but thats often a kneejerk reaction to any woman partaking in sexual activity deemed "unladylike". For me, I actually tend to find that its not so much the sexual activity thats the problem but everything around that...its the fact that, on many cases, I find that the more promiscuous women (on here...its not often as common in other avenues) tend to come attached with so much baggage that they end up commodifying men. Whilst preferences are understandable, at times I wonder if spouting shit like "SIX PACKS/BBC/WHITE MEN ONLY/NO ASIANS/NO BLACKS/NO FATTIES/YOU FUCK AND THEN PISS OFF" is actually even a healthy way to be engaging in no string attached sex. As said, just because its sex, it doesnt mean all common courtesy falls through the window...then again, maybe all is fair in love and war
There are many of us who don't engage in fuck n go and our preferences include intellect and humour, for example. It doesn't make us (male or female) any better than those who do engage in fuck n go. We are just different.
The filters/preferences aren't so much rude (albeit how they are expressed) but shortcuts for time management."Maybe. What always amuses me is people will write these and then complain no one actually bothers to read the profile. Makes me wonder about their effectiveness. | |||
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"That’s actually a valid point then. But it cuts both ways there are guys who have serious women hating issues here. I don’t see the point of being a abusive to people I didn't feel the guy meant to be abusive strangely enough -he was old fashioned in the sense that he obviously viewed women in two categories- as "bad, nawty girls" or the "nice" ones you want to take home to mum. In his eyes he obviously viewed fab ladies as easy meat. I think this terribly wrong and judgemental attitude is more indicative of an older generation. (My guy was 59). I obviously picked the wrong guy! But, we learn. LOL between Brexit, Trump, MRA's and all the other nonsense...trust me, the newer generation are not any better. Some were, quite fairly, confused at my original point. It was that attitudes towards women here can be unsavory, but thats often a kneejerk reaction to any woman partaking in sexual activity deemed "unladylike". For me, I actually tend to find that its not so much the sexual activity thats the problem but everything around that...its the fact that, on many cases, I find that the more promiscuous women (on here...its not often as common in other avenues) tend to come attached with so much baggage that they end up commodifying men. Whilst preferences are understandable, at times I wonder if spouting shit like "SIX PACKS/BBC/WHITE MEN ONLY/NO ASIANS/NO BLACKS/NO FATTIES/YOU FUCK AND THEN PISS OFF" is actually even a healthy way to be engaging in no string attached sex. As said, just because its sex, it doesnt mean all common courtesy falls through the window...then again, maybe all is fair in love and war "I actually do find that younger guys have a more refreshing and respectful attitude towards women sorry. I have three sons of 30, 23 and 20 and have chatted to many of their friends who are not into dividing women into the."Madonna or whore" category as.many guys my age and older seem to do. Many of you will disagree but this is my own view and my own experience of many.meets on here reinforces this view. | |||
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"That’s actually a valid point then. But it cuts both ways there are guys who have serious women hating issues here. I don’t see the point of being a abusive to people I didn't feel the guy meant to be abusive strangely enough -he was old fashioned in the sense that he obviously viewed women in two categories- as "bad, nawty girls" or the "nice" ones you want to take home to mum. In his eyes he obviously viewed fab ladies as easy meat. I think this terribly wrong and judgemental attitude is more indicative of an older generation. (My guy was 59). I obviously picked the wrong guy! But, we learn. LOL between Brexit, Trump, MRA's and all the other nonsense...trust me, the newer generation are not any better. Some were, quite fairly, confused at my original point. It was that attitudes towards women here can be unsavory, but thats often a kneejerk reaction to any woman partaking in sexual activity deemed "unladylike". For me, I actually tend to find that its not so much the sexual activity thats the problem but everything around that...its the fact that, on many cases, I find that the more promiscuous women (on here...its not often as common in other avenues) tend to come attached with so much baggage that they end up commodifying men. Whilst preferences are understandable, at times I wonder if spouting shit like "SIX PACKS/BBC/WHITE MEN ONLY/NO ASIANS/NO BLACKS/NO FATTIES/YOU FUCK AND THEN PISS OFF" is actually even a healthy way to be engaging in no string attached sex. As said, just because its sex, it doesnt mean all common courtesy falls through the window...then again, maybe all is fair in love and war
There are many of us who don't engage in fuck n go and our preferences include intellect and humour, for example. It doesn't make us (male or female) any better than those who do engage in fuck n go. We are just different.
The filters/preferences aren't so much rude (albeit how they are expressed) but shortcuts for time management.
Maybe. What always amuses me is people will write these and then complain no one actually bothers to read the profile. Makes me wonder about their effectiveness. "For me personally, very effective. If someone messages me because of my pretty pics  and not read my epic profile, then we are not compatible . | |||
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"That’s actually a valid point then. But it cuts both ways there are guys who have serious women hating issues here. I don’t see the point of being a abusive to people I didn't feel the guy meant to be abusive strangely enough -he was old fashioned in the sense that he obviously viewed women in two categories- as "bad, nawty girls" or the "nice" ones you want to take home to mum. In his eyes he obviously viewed fab ladies as easy meat. I think this terribly wrong and judgemental attitude is more indicative of an older generation. (My guy was 59). I obviously picked the wrong guy! But, we learn. LOL between Brexit, Trump, MRA's and all the other nonsense...trust me, the newer generation are not any better. Some were, quite fairly, confused at my original point. It was that attitudes towards women here can be unsavory, but thats often a kneejerk reaction to any woman partaking in sexual activity deemed "unladylike". For me, I actually tend to find that its not so much the sexual activity thats the problem but everything around that...its the fact that, on many cases, I find that the more promiscuous women (on here...its not often as common in other avenues) tend to come attached with so much baggage that they end up commodifying men. Whilst preferences are understandable, at times I wonder if spouting shit like "SIX PACKS/BBC/WHITE MEN ONLY/NO ASIANS/NO BLACKS/NO FATTIES/YOU FUCK AND THEN PISS OFF" is actually even a healthy way to be engaging in no string attached sex. As said, just because its sex, it doesnt mean all common courtesy falls through the window...then again, maybe all is fair in love and war
I actually do find that younger guys have a more refreshing and respectful attitude towards women sorry. I have three sons of 30, 23 and 20 and have chatted to many of their friends who are not into dividing women into the."Madonna or whore" category as.many guys my age and older seem to do. Many of you will disagree but this is my own view and my own experience of many.meets on here reinforces this view."I dunno...this is the same thing people said about multiculturalism and feminism...that they were more ubiquitous than ever. And then bam, we have a wave of right wing populism sweeping across the western world. I dont want to make your sons to be villains, but I really encourage people NOT to take politically correct opinions at face value. I'm younger than a lot of people here, some of my colleagues are even younger...they know very much that there is a "code" they need to adhere to when speaking about sensitive topics. I allow people to get comfortable for their real opinions to shine through. Yes, indeed attitudes in regards to things like homosexuality/polyamory are less archaic than they were before...but I have learned its more of a willing coexistence than a real acceptance. Swinging communities are not getting younger, they're getting OLDER. You also find that the amount of sexual partners young people have is decreasing, with many opting for casual relationships within social circles over NSA sex with strangers. Things are not as progressive as they seem. Its more pivoting than moving forward. | |||
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"That’s actually a valid point then. But it cuts both ways there are guys who have serious women hating issues here. I don’t see the point of being a abusive to people I didn't feel the guy meant to be abusive strangely enough -he was old fashioned in the sense that he obviously viewed women in two categories- as "bad, nawty girls" or the "nice" ones you want to take home to mum. In his eyes he obviously viewed fab ladies as easy meat. I think this terribly wrong and judgemental attitude is more indicative of an older generation. (My guy was 59). I obviously picked the wrong guy! But, we learn." Yes, tragically the "virgin/whore" dichotomy is still alive and well in 2017 | |||
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"That’s actually a valid point then. But it cuts both ways there are guys who have serious women hating issues here. I don’t see the point of being a abusive to people I didn't feel the guy meant to be abusive strangely enough -he was old fashioned in the sense that he obviously viewed women in two categories- as "bad, nawty girls" or the "nice" ones you want to take home to mum. In his eyes he obviously viewed fab ladies as easy meat. I think this terribly wrong and judgemental attitude is more indicative of an older generation. (My guy was 59). I obviously picked the wrong guy! But, we learn. Yes, tragically the "virgin/whore" dichotomy is still alive and well in 2017" very prevalent sadly...and i don't think it's purely older men either..in the majority maybe, but ive seen young guys posting crap about 'not a girl you'd take home' type stuff..it does make life far easier for men to have that view though..so i can see why so many cling on to it..or sometimes choose to pretend to believe it.. | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me
I think possibly what you are forgetting op and I am not having a pop at you.
Is
Lot's of women are on here swinging for precisely the reasons that you point out.
I mean lots, don't want a relationship,they don't want fuss and baggage.
There are probably a fair few single mums who aren't looking for a baby daddy.
They just need some sexual relief without any strings.
And many may not be ready for a relationship at this time.
Hence some of the seemingly picky demands,but that's only to fit around their lives.
Admittedly it doesn't excuse rudness and time wasters,but from our experience thus far swinger's are the same as everyone else,we are Everyman or woman a cross section of society and representative of pretty of all types from dinner ladies to judges, unemployed and teachers and everything in-between.
Point being is that swinging is pretty much the same as dating it just cuts out all the bullshit in the middle and most don't want to marry you.
If it's a life partner you seek op then perhaps this isn't the place for you.
However who is to say that your next meet could maybe your soulmate and you will find love eternal.
Or you could bump into them walking out of co-op.
It's easy to make rash sweeping statements on here and judge people without all of the information.
But from our perspective we don't want to know about people's life history ,all the gory details of love's lost.
We like socializing,we like shagging.
We are deeply in love and have been for over 30 years and will be until the day we die.
Some people enjoy going to church together,somewhere enjoy getting pissed together, football, badminton, amateur dramatics.......
It just happens we enjoy boffing other people together.
It doesn't make us bad people , just people who enjoy the same thing.
Happy swinging"Wonderfully articulated. | |||
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" I am merely talking about this site, not swinging in general. My OP makes that apparent. Everything about this site, the verification system, lack of paywall, cliques...will exacerbate the problem. That does not mean that Fab is the progenitor of all swinging's evils, but there are dynamics which contribute to shitty behavior. Call it a buyers market if you may. And you see it in the comments, people who refuse to engage and dangle the concept of their "blocking" as a lame and shitty attempt to shame dissenting opinion into silence. And its not coming from the men...interestingly enough. " So is it someone blocking you the problem? | |||
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" "MUSCULAR LARGE BBC looking for freaky girls, couples and sex orgies" You realise what an utter **** you sound posting about the horrible nature of women who post such things when that's your profile title." No, as I said before, there is nothing wrong with having a preference. I am sure there are plenty of women who call themselves BBWs. However, I sincerely doubt they want to have an inbox full of men reducing their worth to merely to size. Or should I start criticizing you for masquerading as a single woman when it appears, from your profile, that you're not?? | |||
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Ok, so I over egged the cake a little, but whoever it is that finally gets to call me theirs is a seriously lucky fucker! | |||
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" LOL between Brexit, Trump, MRA's and all the other nonsense...trust me, the newer generation are not any better. Some were, quite fairly, confused at my original point. It was that attitudes towards women here can be unsavory, but thats often a kneejerk reaction to any woman partaking in sexual activity deemed "unladylike". For me, I actually tend to find that its not so much the sexual activity thats the problem but everything around that...its the fact that, on many cases, I find that the more promiscuous women (on here...its not often as common in other avenues) tend to come attached with so much baggage that they end up commodifying men. Whilst preferences are understandable, at times I wonder if spouting shit like "SIX PACKS/BBC/WHITE MEN ONLY/NO ASIANS/NO BLACKS/NO FATTIES/YOU FUCK AND THEN PISS OFF" is actually even a healthy way to be engaging in no string attached sex. As said, just because its sex, it doesnt mean all common courtesy falls through the window...then again, maybe all is fair in love and war "Why do you care so much? Just don't converse with the people you find rude or whatever else you're whining about. Whether someone else is having 'healthy' sexual relationship/s is feck all to do with you. I've read this entire thread and you're the only one being disrespectful, rude and whatever else you're accusing us women of being. Get off your high horse and remember the saying 'people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones'. The green arrow speaks for itself. | |||
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" LOL between Brexit, Trump, MRA's and all the other nonsense...trust me, the newer generation are not any better. Some were, quite fairly, confused at my original point. It was that attitudes towards women here can be unsavory, but thats often a kneejerk reaction to any woman partaking in sexual activity deemed "unladylike". For me, I actually tend to find that its not so much the sexual activity thats the problem but everything around that...its the fact that, on many cases, I find that the more promiscuous women (on here...its not often as common in other avenues) tend to come attached with so much baggage that they end up commodifying men. Whilst preferences are understandable, at times I wonder if spouting shit like "SIX PACKS/BBC/WHITE MEN ONLY/NO ASIANS/NO BLACKS/NO FATTIES/YOU FUCK AND THEN PISS OFF" is actually even a healthy way to be engaging in no string attached sex. As said, just because its sex, it doesnt mean all common courtesy falls through the window...then again, maybe all is fair in love and war
Why do you care so much? Just don't converse with the people you find rude or whatever else you're whining about.
Whether someone else is having 'healthy' sexual relationship/s is feck all to do with you.
I've read this entire thread and you're the only one being disrespectful, rude and whatever else you're accusing us women of being.
Get off your high horse and remember the saying 'people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones'.
The green arrow speaks for itself.
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"met my mrs on here over two years ago. no issue "Same for me too, met mine on here 3 and half years ago and we is all good. | |||
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" "MUSCULAR LARGE BBC looking for freaky girls, couples and sex orgies" You realise what an utter **** you sound posting about the horrible nature of women who post such things when that's your profile title. No, as I said before, there is nothing wrong with having a preference. I am sure there are plenty of women who call themselves BBWs. However, I sincerely doubt they want to have an inbox full of men reducing their worth to merely to size. Or should I start criticizing you for masquerading as a single woman when it appears, from your profile, that you're not??" You started a profile saying people from Fab couldn't have relationships. When that argument was lost you said that wasn't at all your argument and that you hated terms such as BBC and a whole other list because they were unhealthy ways to seek out sex. IF U NEED A MASSIVELY MUSCULAR, TALL, HUNG BLACK BEAST TO JOIN IN THE PLEASANTRIES I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO ASSIST I just pointed out you're a total hypocrite. Find me one quote on my profile that claims I'm single and I'll come suck in your monster gorgeous manhood you're so proud of right now. Except you can't because my profile opens with a clear explanation that I am in a poly relationship. Spouting shit, however eloquently, and making unsubstantiated sweeping statements as though they are fact is snake oil. Swingers are getting younger. Women are having more partners now that ever. Must be true because I just said it and it supports my argument | |||
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" "MUSCULAR LARGE BBC looking for freaky girls, couples and sex orgies" You realise what an utter **** you sound posting about the horrible nature of women who post such things when that's your profile title. No, as I said before, there is nothing wrong with having a preference. I am sure there are plenty of women who call themselves BBWs. However, I sincerely doubt they want to have an inbox full of men reducing their worth to merely to size. Or should I start criticizing you for masquerading as a single woman when it appears, from your profile, that you're not?? You started a profile saying people from Fab couldn't have relationships. When that argument was lost you said that wasn't at all your argument and that you hated terms such as BBC and a whole other list because they were unhealthy ways to seek out sex. IF U NEED A MASSIVELY MUSCULAR, TALL, HUNG BLACK BEAST TO JOIN IN THE PLEASANTRIES I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO ASSIST I just pointed out you're a total hypocrite. Find me one quote on my profile that claims I'm single and I'll come suck in your monster gorgeous manhood you're so proud of right now. Except you can't because my profile opens with a clear explanation that I am in a poly relationship. Spouting shit, however eloquently, and making unsubstantiated sweeping statements as though they are fact is snake oil. Swingers are getting younger. Women are having more partners now that ever. Must be true because I just said it and it supports my argument " | |||
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"For the record ladies im willing to date... plenty on here that are very much date material!" LOL this made me chuckle! | |||
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"For the record ladies im willing to date... plenty on here that are very much date material! LOL this made me chuckle! " | |||
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"For the record ladies im willing to date... plenty on here that are very much date material!" | |||
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" "MUSCULAR LARGE BBC looking for freaky girls, couples and sex orgies" You realise what an utter **** you sound posting about the horrible nature of women who post such things when that's your profile title. No, as I said before, there is nothing wrong with having a preference. I am sure there are plenty of women who call themselves BBWs. However, I sincerely doubt they want to have an inbox full of men reducing their worth to merely to size. ??" You have a thing about women and their (self) worth. Being a minority, us females will have received all sorts of messages. We will have learned to grow a thick skin and quash our egos. If not we might crumple. You men should do the same. Self worth should not be connected to messages received, posts engaged with and profiles read. | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me "i don't think there is any difference in the way men and women are perceived on here.... so are you saying you are not "dating material" in the eyes of most women? (i probably won't even ask why after the comments about slapping the shit out of women in your previous threads) | |||
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"From what I've heard from friends, Plenty of Fucks and Tinder are far more about sex than here. And they're supposed to be dating sites aren't they? If you find a swinging partner to date and you have honesty. Isn't that more honest than conventional relationships where often someone might cheat. No they're not. Not even close. I think people say this to feel better. Guardian article stated 70%+ of Tinder users dont even end up meeting anyone they match with. Swinging is a niche. One that, despite the increasing acceptance, is still a rarity. Maybe you should straw poll other swingers ? It's would a give a result more reflective of the lifestyle. They have. Swinging relationships have a higher dissolution rate. Not really sure it matters, because pretty much all relationships end eventually. But this idea that swinging somehow makes your relationship immune to the typical pitfalls of any partnership (infidelity/jealousy/abuse) is nothing more than an opiate for those with poor self esteem. Swinging changes little. Is this fact or your opinion. The only fact I have to offer is the dissolution rate in non-monogamous relationships is higher. I would not really offer an opinion on how "happy" these relationships are as 1. I'm not well enough informed and 2. Happiness/fulfillment are not quantifiable metrics and are open to reporting bias. But if the break up rate is higher then its likely indicative of the points that I made. " Perhaps if failed relationships are more common amongst swingers it is because of the high numbers of people who embark on swinging as a last-ditch attempt to salvage their relationship. Couple that with society's increasing predilection to always chase "big, bigger, biggest" and you have a dangerous cocktail. I guess swinging does attract many such people and we try to avoid them. However, there are also very many people who grow into having sex with others. These relationships do work. It's how you approach it I guess and what level of personal insight you possess before starting. I find the judgement of swingers buy your ad hoc focus group as irksome as the very real prejudice and excessive demands you mention, by the way. Live and let live. I take it you are doubtful about swinging but hungry for more experience? I am very unsure how to square that circle without giving it a go. | |||
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"We got together on here.... just saying Wait! I've got your fab relationship medal, hang on!
I'm genuinely glad to see success stories. I'd imagine you were very patient and understanding with each other. So how did it come about? "It's so ridiculous it's funny. It was a swingers speed dating night
And all of a sudden.. No one else matters | |||
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"We got together on here.... just saying Wait! I've got your fab relationship medal, hang on!
I'm genuinely glad to see success stories. I'd imagine you were very patient and understanding with each other. So how did it come about?
It's so ridiculous it's funny. It was a swingers speed dating night
And all of a sudden.. No one else matters"You make it sounds so easy! Guess it's down to the individuals. Ultimately, it's a connection that transcends sex. Maybe some people miss that. | |||
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"I'm struggling to understand what the OP was about. I agree with some of the things you say. I don't like how some act on here and how they pass it off as preference. Like with all online sites, including dating, I think it's easy to pick up bad habits. " And it's not gender specific. | |||
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"I'm struggling to understand what the OP was about. I agree with some of the things you say. I don't like how some act on here and how they pass it off as preference. Like with all online sites, including dating, I think it's easy to pick up bad habits. "
I think the OP came at this from a weird angle but it's sparked some interest and raised a few questions...and he's stuck with it as someone has pointed out.
What I've got out of this is we need to check ourselves more. I think Fabs has made some people quite arrogant. | |||
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"I'm struggling to understand what the OP was about. I agree with some of the things you say. I don't like how some act on here and how they pass it off as preference. Like with all online sites, including dating, I think it's easy to pick up bad habits. And it's not gender specific." Completely right! | |||
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"We got together on here.... just saying Wait! I've got your fab relationship medal, hang on!
I'm genuinely glad to see success stories. I'd imagine you were very patient and understanding with each other. So how did it come about?
It's so ridiculous it's funny. It was a swingers speed dating night
And all of a sudden.. No one else matters
You make it sounds so easy!
Guess it's down to the individuals. Ultimately, it's a connection that transcends sex. Maybe some people miss that."I've no doubt it's pretty rare. But the Ops post is just down right degrading and just not true | |||
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"You seem to come across as if you think you are NOT one of these "weirdo's/stalkers/abusers/troll's" that give females/couples a hard time on here, but are in fact one of the "good guys"...WRONG! You are in fact doing that very thing with this thread. Oh please don't give me that everyone is entitled to their opinion, this is indeed true, but publically "bashing"(as that is what you are doing no matter how you dress it up) a certain group/gender is NOT ok, just because you took a poll from "friends"! Like a few have said already, you don't like it...door is open! " | |||
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"So I had a discussion with some vanilla friends about the lifestyle. The feedback was not good, unsurprisingly. Interestingly enough though, it seems many people were aware that looking for anonymous sex online does not bring out the best in people so I, indeed, probably contribute to that problem and I'm probably as terrible as the people I am criticizing. But what I did find interesting was the amount of people who insisted on never wanting to date a Fabswinger in a million years...especially when I told them about how more time was spent sifting through rude profiles and timewasters than it was actually getting up to any sexual acts of the deviant variety. Yes, maybe its a rant. Dont care. I understand that people are bombarded with messages, but the sheer amount of couples/singles on here without decorum (and even less so for single men) is pretty shit and is probably not indicative of people who have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender unless they're opening their legs for them. Yeah...I said it. Come at me "It's a cross-section of people from all walks of life. So yes. Of course it's full of ignorant wankers. | |||
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"I'm struggling to understand what the OP was about. I agree with some of the things you say. I don't like how some act on here and how they pass it off as preference. Like with all online sites, including dating, I think it's easy to pick up bad habits.
I think the OP came at this from a weird angle but it's sparked some interest and raised a few questions...and he's stuck with it as someone has pointed out.
What I've got out of this is we need to check ourselves more. I think Fabs has made some people quite arrogant."This | |||
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"I'm struggling to understand what the OP was about. I agree with some of the things you say. I don't like how some act on here and how they pass it off as preference. Like with all online sites, including dating, I think it's easy to pick up bad habits.
I think the OP came at this from a weird angle but it's sparked some interest and raised a few questions...and he's stuck with it as someone has pointed out.
What I've got out of this is we need to check ourselves more. I think Fabs has made some people quite arrogant."Stuck with what? What was his point? That women on here aren't dateable, or that his friends (and possibly him too) wouldn't date a woman who uses or used the site? | |||
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